Submitted by stunet on Fri, 03/27/2020 - 18:07
I wanna bitch about something else.
About bushfires, and climate change, and bludgers on welfare. About fuckwits who paddle up the inside and expect the next set. And fuckwit Sydneysiders who carpool down to the point on the day of the season - I simply cant wait to bitch about them again.
And Sports Rorts! I wanna bitch about that again.
Angus Taylor! He of the underwear model good looks and an eye for a swifty.
When can we bitch about him again?
I’ve got a good mate. I lent this person some wax with the belief that he would use it for a SINGLE application before we paddled out for that one session.
I never saw the wax again.
Who steals a man’s wax ?
To be honest , the wax could’ve rolled under the seat and I never checked and sold the car not long after. What to believe ?
Is that the vibe you’re chasing, Stu. I’ve got plenty more.
For instance.....I’ve got a good mate. I lent this person a legrope etc
It 'could've' rolled under the seat, or you could detonate a lifelong friendship with wild accusations and fabrications, and let's face it, that could feel really good.
Take that bitch down!
My mate left a porn mag under the seat of his car when he dropped it off for a service.... that arvo, no more porno.
Under the seat can be a bit of a black hole, but goddam mechanics!
Careful Stu, with a thread title like that, Peter Whatsisname will be accusing you of raping underage Indigenous girls again.
Fucking love bitching about him.
Ha! I was so distracted by bloody CV that I didn't tear into ol' PB.
That was some twisted uber-progressive shaming going on. I would've admired the creativity in joining disparate dots to bind a very flimsy argument, except of course that I was the one in his cross-hairs.
Silly old fuckwit that he is.
Cut and paste that one into your website, Pete.
Would have just preferred it was a nostalgia thread, rather than a thread to bitch in, no shortage of those around here.
Anyway here's some nostalgia.
I use to love this show as a kid, watch it and then go play outside with metal staff/poles wrapped in electrical tape, running around having fights with our staffs until someone got hurt and ran home crying.
Then we would do it all again next week.
"The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there."
Salad days. 6 - 6.30 week days. The Goodies then Dr. Who (with Jon Pertwee and Tom Baker). And then along came this weird Japanese show in the old familiar timeslot. WTF? But it grew on us. So much so I can still karaoke the Monkey theme and end title songs.
But never go back.
Well, not Monkey anyway.
A mate bought a box set of Kingswood Country a while back, aglow with nostalgia, and it was a dismal and devastating embarrassment for him.
Some things are best left back there somewhere.
Hoges is about to turn 80...
I* once met someone who appeared to be a Beautiful, Intelligent, Talented, Caring Human.
We met at a party of a friend of a friend and from the getgo we got on very well. Upfront and to the point she whispered into my ear,
"First up sex on the first night is not hoeing. It's an interview, and if I call you tomorrow.......you've got the job."
If only I hadn't have gone so hard so soon...
* as a paid member of A.A.A.A.A - Anonymous Australians Against Acronym Abuse.
My Dad was on a London street in the 1980s and got a photo of Bananarama.
I tried and failed to sell Sir Bob Geldof shoes for his kids in a shop on Kensington High Street - he said they were too expensive.
Or maybe it was because I started singing to him "WE ARE THE WORLD......"
Did you know Monkey and Pigsy are still on tv over here regularly.
Mick Jagger told me to fuck off once.
Watashi wa metabo oyagi desu.
Tell us the Jagger story!
I got the eye once from Liz Hurley at the Cannes Film Festival.
What did you do to Mick you brute ?
He comes across like such a gentleman. The type who wouldn’t harm anyone. Then again , I don’t imagine it was all sunshine and lollipops for David Bowie’s bunghole when Mick buggered him rotten.
Liz was smoking hot.
Meh - she never did it for me, and that was 2007, I think pre-Warnie.
I'm quite sure she saw my cool indifference as a challenge - the tall, tanned buff antipodean, firm shapely buttocks like something off a Greek god, striding the decks of a massive superyacht, master of all he surveyed.
Angus has been a bit quiet lately, wonder what he's up to.
Stu what are you bitching about the surfers invading a southern point
you hypocrite I can clearly remember you hitching a free ride to another
point on the back of a certain friend of ours.
IF im not surfing im racing
As kids we shared a smorgasbord with Torvill & Dean the skaters, and bro once in the footy crowd got WCE forward Glen Jackovitch to personally pull the finger at him from on field...
Apparently I was once standing right next to the Black Eyed Peas in a hotel lobby and I didn't recognise them at all, had to be told later. I live under a rock when it comes to music post 1997.
Shit! Are we really doing this so soon...the end already...
tbb the kid, grew tired of the Flintstones Footmobile, so winged a flight on Chitty Chitty Bang Bang before landing in the Batmobile to track down James Bond's Aston Martin in order to spy on the The Interceptor, now riding shotgun racing to tbb's final mission...aborting the Space Shuttle before coming back down to earth where they clipped my wings, stole my keys & grounded me...
PS: tbb still has his Unfathomobile & is free to share that, with a world gone mad!.
I was going to bitch about a client’s late change of mind........but looked at the hours. Woohoo the client changed their mind, kaching!
Blessed/cursed with ability to grow solid facial hair from age 14, I went to year 11 fete as Monkey, sideburns and all.
I won't lie, a not insignificant number of the younger kids may have been "accidentally" tripped up from behind with the stick that day.
“Life is a long lesson in humility.”
oh... and people who don't know when and what do to indicator wise on roundabouts.
defeats their whole purpose.
I love it when they're going straight through but indicate right.
The first record i ever got as a kid and the first song i became obsessed with, everything was kiss, show bags, posters on the wall, even use to get mum to paint my face like Gene's.
Cant say i really get into them these days though, to be honest apart from a few songs i think it was all the gimmicks that got me as a kid.
AndyM that's the one that kills me the most.
You know what else shits me? That food plastic food packaging that wants you to rip it open, and either:
- you try to just rip the corner bit off and it motherfucken tears halfway down the side, spilling the contents and/or so you can't close it anymore and have to transfer to a tupperware. Cereal and oats bags are prone to these.
- or it's the supposedly pull apart in the middle kind but it just won't pull apart easily so you incrementally give it some more oomf by 5% each time and it still won't go so you so tell yaself "alright then, I'll give 50% more" then fucken BLAM the fucken thing skips to spreading wide open like a stripper that just wants to get things over with at her third Buck's party for the night....and the contents just spray everywhere over your shirt and kitchen floor....I think I'm still talking about spiral pasta at this point.
or unbeknownest to one's self getting a bit of lint in ya japseye from fleece shorts and then taking a slash and the first burst sprays across the new stack of toilet paper that you waited nearly a month to get your hands on.
as long as it dries before the missus sees it....all good?
yeah, I'm 13 days into self-imposed lockdown. So I got feelings to share!
This is becoming an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm!
Pretty, pretty, pretty good.
And Indo, don't get Stunet started on Kiss!
The book on which “Monkey” is based “journey to the east” is a really good read
What about trying to do a piss through a midnight piss-fat ?
All bent over trying and any semblance of aim completely gone.
Speaking of Curb and peeing...
Literature up to you. Alleviating?
@mowgli. I usually use scissors for plastic food packaging. Works a treat!
"And Indo, don't get Stunet started on Kiss!"
Stunet you a fan?
Have I posted this on here before?
Must have if Pup knows, so...
After twenty years of 'Dynasty' sitting in the back of the record collection gathering dust I got it out, opened the sleeve and an envelope fell out:
I hadn't seen it before, or at least I couldn't remember it, but I opened it up and read the letter inside:
Am I a fan of KISS?
To answer that I'll point you to the last line: "I play Dynasty nearly every day, even school days."
Ha i recall u mentioning that ...Gold !
Who knows how close you could’ve got to your idols if you’d actually sent the letter ? They might have sent a stretch limo and you could’ve hung out with them all night after the show.
Thank your lucky stars you weren’t a Gary Glitter fan or else he probably would’ve been hanging out of you after the show.
Ha ha..that is absolute gold, you must have been stoked to find that, thats priceless..
And we had the same record too "Dynasty" :D
Unreal Stu. Send old mate Gene a copy, and next time he's in Oz, well, who knows :)
In the spirit of fandom, I have fond memories of Thursday nights and Saturday mornings when the 'olds' had gone to work.
My brother is a few years older, had just started working, and was always keen to spend his hard-earned BHP apprentice boiler-maker coke-oven DI* on some of the latest albums. A Kiss fan he was, and so was I.
As a pre-pubescent teenager there was nothing more enjoyable than cranking out a few of the tunes from Dynasty. This one was and is deffo one of my faves.
Yeah, Indo. Truly one of those WTF moments.
Rang my Mum and said thanks, but also let her know she betrayed the trust of an 8-year old by not posting the damn letter.
Other KISS stuff: A few years ago I was drinking late at a bar in Club Tattersalls for some reason that escapes me now, bucks party or something. The bar maid was named Shandy and she told a very convincing tale that she was the namesake of the KISS song of the same name. She was an old rock hag. Coulda been true.
I had fave songs on that album, including 'Sure Know Something' but it was only later I took to '2,000 Man' and my estimation of KISS went up a few notches when I realised it was an obscure Stones song; a weird entry from the Stones only weird album, but sung perfectly by Ace.
The chorus form Sure Know Something was good then and it's still good now.
Shame the outfits haven't aged as well.
I think "2000 Man" is a King Crimson song.
Nah, Track 4 from 'Their Satanic Majesties Request'
You thinking '21st Century Schizoid Man'?
Yes Stu . You are right . My bad [memory]. Both good songs. Aren't you meant to be kid wrangling?
All good. They're keeping themselves amused with a bowie knife.
Nice. Maybe one less to worry about soon.
Ok, It's 6:45 and I've got a beer after a late arvo paddle on a beautiful autumn day.
Can't comment on nostalgic bitchin or Kiss, either are of little interest to me but I can say
1. tail gaters
2.people that are oblivious to others
3. the fucken mob that decended on the South Coast today, even after the official word from SN to stay home ( will they ever listen ),,,,,the wife heard all about that after the 1st carpark visit and the 2nd, fortunately the 3rd time around most of them had gone back to Adelaide and I'm feeling much happier
4. Slow internet and pages that don't load, but I'm not alone there and there's more of that to come
5.Peoples obsession with wiping their arses
6.Heads of countries that are failures and not up to the job
On the 2nd beer now and have lost interest in bitching but there's more, however that'll do....it's good to vent.
Christine Sixteen is a Kiss song that might raise a few eyebrows these days.
Peter Whatsisname would love it.
She's been around, but she's young and clean??
"She's got me dizzy, she sees me through to the end
She's got me in her hands and there's no use in pretending
Christine sixteen, Christine sixteen
She drives me crazy, I want to give her all I've got
And she's hot every day and night, there is no doubt about it
I don't usually say things like this to girls your age
But when I saw you coming out of the school that day
That day I knew, I knew (Christine sixteen)
I've got to have you, I've got to have you
She's been around, but she's young and clean
I've got to have her, can't live without her, whoa no"