Realsurf Roll Call

dondellion's picture
dondellion started the topic in Wednesday, 23 Feb 2011 at 5:40am

The Realsurf ship has crashed. Into an iceberg named marcus. This was the closest island.

Is everyone accounted for?

black-duck's picture
black-duck's picture
black-duck commented Thursday, 24 Feb 2011 at 4:01am

No you're not- until you post a pic!

By: "lom"

I can't even get my avatar sized right on this site so there's fuck all chance of any other pics for the time being.

manlyisgay's picture
manlyisgay's picture
manlyisgay commented Thursday, 24 Feb 2011 at 5:05am

BA signing on. Hopefully Trev and Marcus will be along shortly so things can get back to normal.

Now go about ya business ya piss stained kiddie fiddlers.

jimsheedy's picture
jimsheedy's picture
jimsheedy commented Thursday, 24 Feb 2011 at 5:56am

Its just not the same when you can swear and post pictures of harlequin babies. Swearing and harlequin babies are out from now on.

Anyone wanna copy and paste some of the RS rants. there are some that can't access them.

To be totally honest it wasn't the blokes like dino that wrecked real surf but the morons like tomtom guard marcus and trev and their westworld clone like total lack of ironic thought, humor or ability to see themselves and everything around them in anything other than a one dimensional golden glow. Quite startling really.

stunet's picture
stunet's picture
stunet commented Thursday, 24 Feb 2011 at 6:08am

To be totally honest it wasn't the blokes like dino that wrecked real surf

By: "jimsheedy"

Hang on...I thought you were Dino? Or are you referring to yourself in the third person?

We need a log so I know who everyone is.

jimmy's picture
jimmy's picture
jimmy commented Thursday, 24 Feb 2011 at 6:15am

After they banned you they banned Guard but he popped up under the name Waterman and continued with his usual dribble here's an example from today....

"I never found out ip's, marcus didnt want anything to do with it and he was abusing me all week. its my connections. remember my trade is electronics and im well into computers and producing techno.

no need for marcus or trev to find your ip's its quite easy..

and ps this account and ip is banned but im still here posting funny that"

dinosaur's picture
dinosaur's picture
dinosaur commented Thursday, 24 Feb 2011 at 6:15am

"jimsheedy" wrote: To be totally honest it wasn't the blokes like dino that wrecked real surf

By: "stunet"

Hang on...I thought you were Dino? Or are you referring to yourself in the third person?

We need a log so I know who everyone is.


i am Dino, he is TMC
dinosaur's picture
dinosaur's picture
dinosaur commented Thursday, 24 Feb 2011 at 6:16am

i fucked up realsurf

stunet's picture
stunet's picture
stunet commented Thursday, 24 Feb 2011 at 6:20am

"stunet" wrote:
"jimsheedy" wrote: To be totally honest it wasn't the blokes like dino that wrecked real surf

By: "dinosaur"

Hang on...I thought you were Dino? Or are you referring to yourself in the third person?

We need a log so I know who everyone is.


i am Dino, he is TMC

And I thought you were Buff Brad??

batfink_and_karate's picture
batfink_and_karate's picture
batfink_and_karate commented Thursday, 24 Feb 2011 at 7:38am

I'm Batfink!

Sorry, haven't been at my computer today, just caught up!

So, that's cleared that up.

- Olds

clint_2's picture
clint_2's picture
clint_2 commented Thursday, 24 Feb 2011 at 8:02am

Anyone seen a mini-mal riding IT geek?

Slightly paunchy and fond of midget Brazilians?

By: "freeride76"

is this paunchy or just poor posture from driving buses?
perhaps it's bloating from malnoursihment and Forex Gold toxin?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=K28xgN0lLqc (take note from around the 8 second mark) :)

jimmy's picture
jimmy's picture
jimmy commented Thursday, 24 Feb 2011 at 8:11am

Fuck that's the 1st time I've seen a clip with SS in it where he hasn't said a word. Must have been killing him!

toby's picture
toby's picture
toby commented Thursday, 24 Feb 2011 at 8:18am

I'm Batfink!

Sorry, haven't been at my computer today, just caught up!

So, that's cleared that up.

- Olds

By: "batfink_and_karate"

Bullshit! Olds had a distinctive style and I didn't pick that in your early posts. You've got work to do before I'm convinced, mister.

jimsheedy's picture
jimsheedy's picture
jimsheedy commented Thursday, 24 Feb 2011 at 8:22am

www.youtube.com/watch?v=K28xgN0lLqc (take note from around the 8 second mark) :)

By: "clint"

Fuckin hell shearer stealing tunes off the black man now. Gil would never give a couple of honkies like you and the priddster permission to use his proto cultural revolution theme song to sell fucking north coast kook sticks, especially ones without fins. shame on you nigger.

clint_2's picture
clint_2's picture
clint_2 commented Thursday, 24 Feb 2011 at 8:30am

^ epic

diggerdickson's picture
diggerdickson's picture
diggerdickson commented Thursday, 24 Feb 2011 at 9:50am

well, seems to be quite a few people from realsurf here thats for sure. Im a bit dissapionted in the banning but theres still some good people on realsurf so I will float between the two for now

jimmy's picture
jimmy's picture
jimmy commented Thursday, 24 Feb 2011 at 10:10am

Digger you fence sitting cunt.

batfink_and_karate's picture
batfink_and_karate's picture
batfink_and_karate commented Thursday, 24 Feb 2011 at 10:20am

Bullshit! Olds had a distinctive style and I didn't pick that in your early posts. You've got work to do before I'm convinced, mister.

By: "toby"

I'm not the working type Tobes. Shoulda picked that up by now.

I'm batfink, or batfink and karate, depending on how I log in.

batfink's picture
batfink's picture
batfink commented Thursday, 24 Feb 2011 at 10:24am

No he's not, I'm batfink!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

F$#%^$#@ imposter.

michael-peterson's picture
michael-peterson's picture
michael-peterson commented Thursday, 24 Feb 2011 at 10:41am

At last a bit of action here. Who the fuck is that Jim Sheedy and is he the real Slim Sheedy?

merkin's picture
merkin's picture
merkin commented Thursday, 24 Feb 2011 at 11:08am

"merkin" wrote:

At least this joint has relevant surf reports and astute forecasts.

By: "fong"

pffffttttttttttttttttttfffttttttttttttttt

Well that's if you live somewhere where there are actually waves ;-)

misterpink's picture
misterpink's picture
misterpink commented Thursday, 24 Feb 2011 at 11:42am

michael-peterson wrote:

At last a bit of action here. Who the fuck is that Jim Sheedy and is he the real Slim Sheedy?[/quote

None of yer fucking business. And don't just stand there doing that fucking horse head thing and strap one up and let's get this party fired up.
Then you can go and sit in the corner brooding you miserable bastard.

"Don't Taze me bro"

tomtom's picture
tomtom's picture
tomtom commented Thursday, 24 Feb 2011 at 12:18pm

To be totally honest it wasn't the blokes like dino that wrecked real surf but the morons like tomtom guard marcus and trev and their westworld clone like total lack of ironic thought, humor or ability to see themselves and everything around them in anything other than a one dimensional golden glow. Quite startling really.

By: "jimsheedy"

How ironic & startling of you to put me in the same basket as those fellows. Bravo.

How does it feel having such a following, that they follow yourself over to a rival surf forum? Do you not receive enough attention from your family to quench your needs? Are farmyard animals a substitute for the touch so longed for from your wife, with her perpetual headache excuse not to touch you?

misterpink's picture
misterpink's picture
misterpink commented Thursday, 24 Feb 2011 at 12:46pm

Oh sweet baby harlequin Jesus man. You sure know how to bring a party down.
We are all morons in a westworld filmfuck, endlessly pushing the holed shitcart of our lives perpetually towards some shining Avalon filled with wilting detura shrubs and thistle.
What makes you so special besides a lifelong collection of Mad magazines for succour in these brutally hostile hyperrealities we call .....living?
Get a death plan man. Ya eat ya shit ya hope you can do it again tomorrow. What more could you want for.
Pass that scoob Peterson ya miserable cunt.

"Don't Taze me bro"

tomtom's picture
tomtom's picture
tomtom commented Thursday, 24 Feb 2011 at 1:01pm

Who is this death plan man, and whence comest thou? Is he not an agent of the fiery plains of Hades' underground?

bumfluff's picture
bumfluff's picture
bumfluff commented Thursday, 24 Feb 2011 at 1:19pm

I can't even get my avatar sized right on this site so there's fuck all chance of any other pics for the time being.

By: "black-duck"

It just wouldn't be the same without your arguably legal soft porn.

SoharAdam wrote: "i hate people who are to frighten muppets to run kock pump, it's all about oversizing in 2011"

bumfluff's picture
bumfluff's picture
bumfluff commented Thursday, 24 Feb 2011 at 1:24pm

Can you ban Bumboy
please?

By: "jimmy"

I don't think Tomtom deserves to be spoken to like that.

SoharAdam wrote: "i hate people who are to frighten muppets to run kock pump, it's all about oversizing in 2011"

misterpink's picture
misterpink's picture
misterpink commented Thursday, 24 Feb 2011 at 1:28pm

Fuck me dead. There's no show without punch.

Who is this death plan man, and whence comest thou? Is he not an agent of the fiery plains of Hades' underground?

By: "tomtom"

Listen Judy, cut that gibbery pockery.
Play Crunchy Granola Suite backwards sometime. Make sure you're sitting down. Away from windows, particularly if at height or overlooking a children's playground.
You might learn something. Can't guarantee it'll be pretty.
No you won't need any plastic ground sheets fuckhead!

"Don't Taze me bro"

dial's picture
dial's picture
dial commented Thursday, 24 Feb 2011 at 1:37pm

I got a great party trick you cunts would love. Ask someone to pull your finger and when they do, fart.

It'll crack them up every time. Trust me.

bumfluff's picture
bumfluff's picture
bumfluff commented Thursday, 24 Feb 2011 at 1:44pm

I got a great party trick you cunts would love. Ask someone to pull your finger and when they do, fart.

It'll crack them up every time. Trust me.

By: "dial"

If you put your brain and Tomtom's together, you might be as smart as Aaron. I bet you get hit by parked cars a lot.

SoharAdam wrote: "i hate people who are to frighten muppets to run kock pump, it's all about oversizing in 2011"

misterpink's picture
misterpink's picture
misterpink commented Thursday, 24 Feb 2011 at 1:48pm

Fuck that. We've moved on to loosening the fastening bolts on park benches near nursing homes.
Dial. Is that like " off the " or "re-" Try again cunt.

"Don't Taze me bro"

dial's picture
dial's picture
dial commented Thursday, 24 Feb 2011 at 2:12pm

Compared to you guys, I am just a fucking idiot cunt.

It's all yours but don't think I'll give up my position in the real line-up that easy. Take the attitude you guys have shown here and translate it to surfing.

See ya.

misterpink's picture
misterpink's picture
misterpink commented Thursday, 24 Feb 2011 at 2:13pm

D'you have Sunny for breakfast fong?

Ease up cowboy. Were guests in these cunts' humpy. Dial's reaching out. I was developing a bit o friendly banter and you come in swinging like an overhead fan f fuck sake. And besides fuck real surf. I'm from Me Surf tried to get forum up there but fuck that, they all wear rolled up denim shorts and v neck T's. Talk about a bivuak. Figured I'd crash this party.
Punch and Judy are precious what?

"Don't Taze me bro"

tomtom's picture
tomtom's picture
tomtom commented Thursday, 24 Feb 2011 at 2:26pm

Fuck me dead. There's no show without punch.

"tomtom" wrote: Who is this death plan man, and whence comest thou? Is he not an agent of the fiery plains of Hades' underground?

By: "misterpink"

Listen Judy, cut that gibbery pockery.
Play Crunchy Granola Suite backwards sometime. Make sure you're sitting down. Away from windows, particularly if at height or overlooking a children's playground.
You might learn something. Can't guarantee it'll be pretty.
No you won't need any plastic ground sheets fuckhead!

Ones of the ship jumped are not unlike the great hun, wherest all found is ravaged, pillaged, raped & conquered. Melancholy is to be on the rise of those who witness.

A life is to be got by those of the previous.

windjammer's picture
windjammer's picture
windjammer commented Thursday, 24 Feb 2011 at 9:06pm

^^^^^

Strewth! What were you blokes on last night!!??
Who's pinko?

Anyway, some more pressing matters.

Picked up this distress call from Offshore this morning.

Anyone got any suggestions for him or can help?

Hey Skipper,
I've been swimmin' against the ebb since marcus pushed me over the side of HMS Realsurf that dark and stormy night.
Managed to dodge waterman's harpoons but I'm in a bit of a tight spot.
Been tryin' to set a course for Swellnet but the set and drift has me way off, and me compass is farked -- south is north and north is south --.
In short, I can't join you mongrels; when I try, it tells me my name's already taken, as is my email address.
Am i hallucinatin'?
Can you throw me a lifering mate and post my dilemma in the realsurf rollcall thread? I see that more than a few fellow castaways have kept their names, while others have changed them, like you..
Thanking you in advance, Skipper, and, if it's not too much trouble, time is of the essence, I think I see Christmas Island looming up ahead.

stunet's picture
stunet's picture
stunet commented Thursday, 24 Feb 2011 at 9:26pm

Windjammer,

Offshore was actually 'Offshore1' on Realsurf, wasn't he? Because that name is taken on here, but if he can handle just plain 'Offshore' then I believe that name is free.

windjammer's picture
windjammer's picture
windjammer commented Thursday, 24 Feb 2011 at 9:46pm

Thanks Stu,

I suspect he'll be monitoring and give it another go.

Onward ho the good ship swellnet....

offshore1's picture
offshore1's picture
offshore1 commented Thursday, 24 Feb 2011 at 10:07pm

well fcuk me sideways and roll me in sh*t. I was already a member of this motley entourage and didn't even know it (insert emoticon here). Must be one of my frequent flyer perks.
orfshore1 present and accounted for.

ps, when did i join, 2ndreefstew? musta been on the gear.......(another emoticon)

Craig's picture
Craig's picture
Craig commented Thursday, 24 Feb 2011 at 10:12pm

This one offshore1 :o

offshore1's picture
offshore1's picture
offshore1 commented Thursday, 24 Feb 2011 at 10:18pm

This one offshore1 :o

By: "craig"

what the hell is that, craig? a bunny?

"when did i join?">>>>>>>>
<<<<<<<<<<
just looked over to the side under me name ......I'm an old-timer
literally, alzheimer's ... move along, there's nothing more to see here

thanks skipper

freeride76's picture
freeride76's picture
freeride76 commented Thursday, 24 Feb 2011 at 10:45pm

Hi Iggs.

Trust a veteran IT Geek to go trawling through You-toob clips. Hope you erased the history, god knows what filth you found and I wouldn't want your better half thinking your stalking me.

Don't worry, that was just a few XMas kilos from too many full strengths. Back on the Golds and Dino sent me a full length sheepskin lycra bodysuit to train in.

Once I drycleaned his jizz stains off it it worked remarkably well.

Back to fighting weight.

Still frothing on your Brazzo?

tomtom's picture
tomtom's picture
tomtom commented Thursday, 24 Feb 2011 at 10:55pm

^^^^^

Strewth! What were you blokes on last night!!??
Who's pinko?

Anyway, some more pressing matters.

Picked up this distress call from Offshore this morning.

Anyone got any suggestions for him or can help?

Hey Skipper,
I've been swimmin' against the ebb since marcus pushed me over the side of HMS Realsurf that dark and stormy night.
Managed to dodge waterman's harpoons but I'm in a bit of a tight spot.
Been tryin' to set a course for Swellnet but the set and drift has me way off, and me compass is farked -- south is north and north is south --.
In short, I can't join you mongrels; when I try, it tells me my name's already taken, as is my email address.
Am i hallucinatin'?
Can you throw me a lifering mate and post my dilemma in the realsurf rollcall thread? I see that more than a few fellow castaways have kept their names, while others have changed them, like you..
Thanking you in advance, Skipper, and, if it's not too much trouble, time is of the essence, I think I see Christmas Island looming up ahead.

By: "windjammer"

Wasn't on anything, was just channelling de Quincy on opium.

Offshore, you could of just created a new email address, gmail takes 2 minutes to create.

I assume pinko is some underprivileged commie cunt.

batfink's picture
batfink's picture
batfink commented Thursday, 24 Feb 2011 at 11:41pm

Who is windjammer? Is that Guard?

Weren't we all trying to get away from Guard?

bumfluff's picture
bumfluff's picture
bumfluff commented Thursday, 24 Feb 2011 at 11:44pm

Have a look at his avatar...

SoharAdam wrote: "i hate people who are to frighten muppets to run kock pump, it's all about oversizing in 2011"

windjammer's picture
windjammer's picture
windjammer commented Friday, 25 Feb 2011 at 12:07am

Who is windjammer? Is that Guard?

Weren't we all trying to get away from Guard?

By: "batfink"

Holy technofoamball! Batfink...wake up and smell the diesel old man.

rasda's picture
rasda's picture
rasda commented Friday, 25 Feb 2011 at 12:55am

testing my new avatar

rasda's picture
rasda's picture
rasda commented Friday, 25 Feb 2011 at 12:56am

Hooarh! 14 posts, oh spoke to soon, "You can only post once every 1 minute" You can only post once every 1 minute

batfink's picture
batfink's picture
batfink commented Friday, 25 Feb 2011 at 12:57am

"batfink" wrote: Who is windjammer? Is that Guard?

Weren't we all trying to get away from Guard?

By: "windjammer"

Holy technofoamball! Batfink...wake up and smell the diesel old man.

Aye aye skipper.

Thank [email protected]#%& for that!

windjammer's picture
windjammer's picture
windjammer commented Friday, 25 Feb 2011 at 1:12am

(still getting used to ship and how she handles)

i....i... Olds. Fecking jack of this pirate talk, been on the 2 way with o'shore all morning. AArgh And you thought I was mud guard???
ya slippin' old man ya slippin'. Get back on the crosswords and lay off the aluminium cookware.

"rasda!...is dat yoo"? (adopting poor taste nigga accent)

That's Woody!...then again from this small pic could be THAT FORMER MODERATOR in silly headgear??

rasda's picture
rasda's picture
rasda commented Friday, 25 Feb 2011 at 1:24am

e wrote:
dats po nigga dazza

some stupid cunt reckened I look like Woody, just didn't want to revert to other you look like, the mon from U.N.C.L.E.

not atorch taped on his head (O)

got edit, too

tomtom's picture
tomtom's picture
tomtom commented Friday, 25 Feb 2011 at 1:25am

I tried to change my avatar, nothing happened. It says profile updated, but just reverts to the old one. Same thing happens if I try to remove my avatar.

Any tips, stu?