Submitted by factotum on Wed, 03/13/2019 - 19:09
“Whatever prevents you from doing your work has become your work.” - Albert Camus
“I'm a pessimist because of intelligence, but an optimist because of will.”
Any fool can make a rule
And any fool will mind it
"I know men in exile feed on dreams of hope."
"I can't believe I ate the whole thing."
“ What’s this button do ?”
Your best work, Blowie.
'As surfers we are defined not by the lands that divide us but by the oceans that connect us.'
Dave Parmenter (maybe)
Watashi wa metabo oyagi desu.
"Better out than in."
"Nil bastardo carbarundum." (an old-school central Queenslander's bastardised version of "Don't let the bastards grind you down."
Don't let the bastards grind you down
"Don't let the bastards grind you down."
"Well, it's a good life and a good world, all said and done, if you don't weaken."
"I'm me and nobody else; and whatever people think I am or say I am, that's what I'm not, because they don't know a bloody thing about me."
"I'll never forget..., erm, what his name."
"Call Mr. Plow, That's my name, That name again is Mr. Plow".
"Have you ever wondered which hurts the most: saying something and wishing you had not, or saying nothing, and wishing you had?" - Someone Unknown
My favourite Indonesian one.
"ada gula, ada semut"
means (if) "there is sugar, there is ants"
Like something that causes a problem or situation, kind of like can't have one without the other.
I like to use in Indonesia when i can, always gets a laugh from Indonesians.
And Indonesians always like the old "no money no honey" too, and "long hair long life"
Another one for Indo, but this is for Bali only. “Sing ken ken” which is a local version no worries mate. Brings an instant smile on locals faces
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
Yeah "sing kin kin" is Balinese for "tidak apa apa" no problem.
My fav Balinese word is"Singla piss" it means i have no money, use this one if they are trying to sell things to you it often gets a laugh or smile when you say it back to them, especially if you put a bit of body expression into it, like a hand to the head :P
“ Shei fangpi !?”
Indo you will laugh. I took my family there on a trip once, and I did my best to learn some phrases. I had a whole introduction that I was dishing out to everyone I met. Saying hello, my name is, I’m from, this is my wife, this is my daughter, aren’t they beautiful!
I’d go through the routine several times a day, and every time I would receive a warm smile in appreciation at a genuine but fragile attempt to speak Bahasa. Every reaction was always the same, same warm smile and always right up to the very end where I kept noticing a slight look of shock appear on their faces. I continued on for 10 days and everyone it seemed knew where I was from, my families names and how beautiful I thought they were. Then literally on the last day, the kind Taxi driver laughed and informed me I’d mixed up the last word for beautiful, and had told the entire island my girls were half man half woman shims!
Hehehe ooops. Needless to say I still haven’t lived that one down with them
Call me anything you want but don't call me late for dinner
In Mauritian creole you "jump" the road not cross it. If you've had a haircut they say "looks like the cane field caught on fire". Once when trying on hats I told the creole lady "I have a big cheese" instead of "I have a big head". My wife's family thought this was very funny and called me "the Big Cheese" for a while after.
"He who hesitates is lost"
“Look, that's why there's rules, understand? So that you think before you break 'em.”
- Terry Pratchett
"The one who gives an answer before he listens - this is foolishness and disgrace for him"
"Great minds think alike, but fools seldom differ"
"The love of money is a root of all kinds of evil"
- Paul of Tarsus
“In order to have a change of fortune at the last minute, you have to take your fortune to the last minute.”
- Pratchett (again)
"Stuff it, I'm going surfing"
- Most of us
"There's nothing to be afraid of." The ultimate reassurance, and the ultimate terror.
“ Smell my finger .”
Should have been here yesterday
What's it like mate?
How big are the sets?
Can I borrow some wax?
Cord to the horizon
... in a carpark near you
Hard-ons or George Pell?
Blowipedia has crashed again.
"To me, my shit stinks better except than a dog's."
Don't worry I've done some pretty big stuff up's i use to get.
Kapala=Head & Kelapa=Coconut..... mixed up.
And i once addressed the Kepala desa (Head of village/village chief) as Kelapa desa (village coconut).
He just looked at me weird, i didn't really click until a minute latter and just felt stupid.
There's a smell in here that will outlast religion
Mad as a Clown's cock
From the back she looked like a fridge with a head.
Indo I once took a yellow Gath helmet to Bali. I lost count of how many times I heard that joke.
.....but back to the theme.
"The kingdom of heaven is a condition of the heart - not something that comes "upon the earth" or "after death."
Hmmm i don't even get it?...never heard that one...you mean Green Gath helmet?
“There has been too much violence, too much pain. None here are without sin. But I have an honorable compromise. Just walk away. Give me the pump, the oil, the gasoline, and the whole compound, and I’ll spare your lives. Just walk away; I will give you safe passage in the wasteland. Just walk away and there will be an end to the horror.”
- Lord Humungus
"You want to get out of here? You talk to me."
“ A little extra cheese on the taco ? “
( Me , myself and Irene )
One of the best scenes in the whole series. We learn who runs Bartertown.
Hah! MM 3 is shit. Sorry.
3's alright, it's got its own thing going on
Its only shit because the first two are possibly the best Australian movie making ever.
"silence is better than bullshit"
grafiti on a warung overlooking the surf in bali
The first band Jimmy Barnes saw live was Tina Turner, and it was something he would never forget. Today I heard "We don't need another hero" on the radio. Always liked that song.
"I will never give in to old age, until I get old." - Tina Turner.
"Silent success is failure."
“I don’t give a tuppeny fuck about your moral conundrum, you meat-headed shit sack.”
William Cutting ( Daniel Day- Lewis )
Gangs of New York
...and then he died like a (over-acting) stuck pig.
What a disappointingly shite flick it was.
Another Scorsese flick:
"I know somebody's there. I can hear you breathin'. You listenin'? Your mother sucks fuckin' big fuckin' elephant dicks. You got that?"
"We could have saved this planet but we where to damn cheap"- Kurt Vonnegut.
Do, or do not. There is no try
Fear God and Keep His commandments,
for this is the whole duty of man
Fear God and Keep His commandments,
for this is the whole duty of man
George Pell and all his paedo ring mates.
There's nothing as overated as a bad fuck
And nothing as underated as a good shit
Some Public Toilet Door Years Ago
Flush twice its a long way to the kitchen.
Toilet door in McDonalds.