The Flyer: Defusing Your Own BOM

Stu Nettle picture
Stu Nettle (stunet)

Last week’s Flyer opened with an anecdote stating how young I am.

Strangely, this week opens with an anecdote about how old I am.

You see, I’m so old that I can remember when Kong Elkerton decided on a rebrand, calling a press conference and telling the assembled media there'd be no more of this ‘If you can’t rock and roll, don’t fucken come’ business, and he’d now like to be known as Gary.

It didn’t last. Somewhere down the track he changed his mind, re-embracing the big gorilla to the extent Quiksilver did a ‘Kong Returns’ line of shirts, and when it came time for an autobiography he gave it a loving one word title - ‘Kong’.

This week, the Bureau of Meteorology had their own ‘call me Gary’ moment, when the findings from a $220,000 corporate rebrand were made public.

“The Bureau of Meteorology asks media outlets to update editorial style to ensure references to the organisation are by its full name, or The Bureau for short, and not BOM.” 

There’s a lot to unpack here. For one, it’s a complete misread of Australian culture, where protesting about a nickname virtually assures it will stick. Getting angry about that teenage epithet will only see it engraved on your epitaph seven decades later.

There’s also the matter of the re-branding agency. Company name: ‘The C Word Communication Agency’.

Well yeah, some things ought to be rebranded - such as the C word - but surely the company brought that on themselves? No need to make everyone else feel bad about their names.

Perhaps they were so concerned, because as was pointed out in the Swellnet Forums - cheers Blackers - it's actually the Commonwealth Bureau of Meteorology, which makes them the CBOM.

My favourite nickname/acronym belongs to a group fighting the good fight in the forests of South America. The People’s Army of Colombia are better known by the Spanish acronym FARC, and they bring every newsreader to a halt when covering their affairs.

Hopefully The C Word keep their hands off FARC.

For now and forever more, the Bureau of Meteorology will be called the BOM, whether it be while writing about the next weather bomb (a storm that drops 24hPa in 24 hours), or simply forecasting more bomb sets.

- Stu

Is October the New March?

Though Craig remains our Mr la Nina - a nickname that sounds great as long you don't translate it - Steve has thrown his hat into the ring regarding the oddball weather and surf of recent times. Few are better placed to compare and contrast as he's kept his own detailed surf diary for decades. Read More >

Excerpt: 'Grajagan: Surfing in the Tiger's Lair'

More about Kong from this book by Mike Ritter and Jack McCoy:

"In 1984 I took Kong to Upper Jakes. On the last day of our stay, Bobby arrived with a fresh group of surfers...they see Kong surfing up there. When he comes back to camp they ask, “What’s the name of that spot?” He turns and shouts, “Kongs!” He stole my spot." Read More >

Surfers, Environmentalists, and Mining Companies Clash on South Africa's West Coast

It's an issue with echoes of the recent Fight for the Bight: a foreign company extracting domestic resources and upsetting locals in the process. Only this time it's not Norwegian's here in Oz, but an Australian company in South Africa. Read More >

Watch: Early Season Sunset Beach

This one hits me in the feels. Early in the North Shore season, a bluebird day at Sunset, enjoyable mid-range waves, and a drone doing its best to transport me there.  Read More >

Watch: Tim Bonython // Last Minute Solander

Mere hours before he hopped a plane to Portugal to document the Nazare season, ol' Tim was bush-bashing and snake-dodging with his new camera. This clip has a good mix of angles, including mutliple angles of some waves: front on, up the line, and aerial. Read More >


I focus's picture
I focus's picture
I focus Saturday, 22 Oct 2022 at 9:38am

Love the Flyer dropping into my email each weekend... thanks Stu.

DudeSweetDudeSweet's picture
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DudeSweetDudeSweet Saturday, 22 Oct 2022 at 9:57am

For some reason I only get it forwarded from my missus and every weekend, without fail she says “ Stu is a good writer” after we’ve had a discussion on the Weekend Flyer before Ive read it

I focus's picture
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I focus Saturday, 22 Oct 2022 at 3:21pm

With out fail I think what your missus says.

Also think it about your writing too Blowin.

DudeSweetDudeSweet's picture
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DudeSweetDudeSweet Saturday, 22 Oct 2022 at 3:41pm

Thanks for the compliment.

stunet's picture
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stunet Monday, 24 Oct 2022 at 9:19am

You're welcome, mate.

michaelwest's picture
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michaelwest Saturday, 22 Oct 2022 at 10:08am

love it

mugofsunshine's picture
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mugofsunshine Saturday, 22 Oct 2022 at 10:31am

TSP (The Saturday Paper) not holding back today. Honestly, I think you could swap BOM out with almost any Gov agency and write the same piece though.

Paywall... But you get the drift

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Supafreak Saturday, 22 Oct 2022 at 11:38am

It wasn’t just the Bom that bombed on warning for the Lismore floods , I live in west tweed and we received a txt at 4.30 pm telling us to evacuate to the tafe at Kingscliff, great advice considering we were already flooded in and couldn’t drive anywhere plus the tafe was surrounded by floods. They consistently tell you not to drive through floods and here they were telling us to evacuate to a place 10 klms away . Last time they told us to go to bilambil sports ground which was also under water . Luckily for us the water stopped 6 meters before our house .

seeds's picture
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seeds Saturday, 22 Oct 2022 at 11:49am

Local knowledge trumps all but you have to be a real local as in decades in the neighborhood. How long have you been there Supa? I remember (I think) you put a pic up of water brimming on the road edge across from yours. Glad you got lucky.

Supafreak's picture
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Supafreak Saturday, 22 Oct 2022 at 12:09pm

Mums been here since 1980 , we moved back in xmas 2017 , its made the letter box 3 times in the past but went well past it this time . 4905-F7-A4-D5-E1-4538-9-E9-E-26229499-F352

freeride76's picture
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freeride76 Saturday, 22 Oct 2022 at 10:41am

"Hopefully The C Word keep their hands off FARC."

I saw it coming but I still spat coffee over the keyboard.

etarip's picture
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etarip Saturday, 22 Oct 2022 at 10:51am

FARC is a ripper of a name with an Aussie accent.

My favourite name remains the Filipino insurgent group, the Moro Islamic Liberation Front. Or MILF, for short.

Wasn’t that funny until American Pie brought the other meaning of the acronym to popular consciousness.

seeds's picture
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seeds Saturday, 22 Oct 2022 at 11:20am

Did they rebrand Etarip? I’m sure some of those freedom fighters would have been porn watchers.

etarip's picture
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etarip Saturday, 22 Oct 2022 at 1:17pm

I’m sure they got laughed at. I think they ended up merging with the Moro National Liberation Front anyway.

Mindanao has a real “People’s Front of Judea” vibe going on.

seeds's picture
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seeds Saturday, 22 Oct 2022 at 1:25pm

So good the Monty Python’s.
Haven’t heard from the Grandmothers Independent Liberation Front lately. Probably passed. Very sad

Mad Dog's picture
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Mad Dog Monday, 24 Oct 2022 at 5:50pm

Fucking Splitters...

spinafex's picture
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spinafex Saturday, 22 Oct 2022 at 11:44am

A more creative creative agency would've leaned into the BOM name and called them "Da BOM"

john.callahan's picture
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john.callahan Saturday, 22 Oct 2022 at 12:12pm

The World Taekwondo Federation had to do a rebrand as well - WTF?

stunet's picture
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stunet Monday, 24 Oct 2022 at 9:23am

Shame. There's just so many ways that could've been used by a forward-thinking marketing department.

'With one hooking side kick the would-be robber was thinking WTF?'

Sheep go to heaven's picture
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Sheep go to heaven Sunday, 23 Oct 2022 at 8:50am

the Canberra University Netball Team have recently had a rethink as to the order of the words in their title , perhaps they could engage the aforementioned " C word Communication agency " for a hefty sum to rearrange the words .....

Island Bay's picture
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Island Bay Sunday, 23 Oct 2022 at 11:31am

Love the big BOM own goal.
And fully agree on Stu and Dsds’s writing.

Andrew P's picture
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Andrew P Sunday, 23 Oct 2022 at 9:26pm

With respect, you are all misreading it. My fly was on the wall during the meeting. It went like this:

C-word Agency: “What do you shiny bums wanna be called?”

CBOM: “We’d be mad not to stick with BOM. It’s pretty much stuck in the vernacular, we’ve got buckley’s chance of changing it. Especially to the Bureau or even worse - our full name! What a farken mouthful!”

C-word Agentscee: “BOM it is!”

The Bureau: “How do we lock it in?”

Con-Agency: “This may be unpopular, and you will cop a lot of flak over it, but to solidify your name as BOM we have to ask people to stop calling you BOM…”

La Bomba: “Wait, what?”

CWA: “The best way to get a nickname is to say you don’t want to be called something. Remember school? You hated being called “The Weatherman” didn’t you? And where do you work now?”

Da Bomb: “Fark.”

CWAids: “The general population has the intelligence of a 12 year old male. If you say you no longer want to be called BOM but rather “the Bureau” or, Huey forbid, your full name, everyone’s gunna laugh and resolve to calling you BOM for life. We guarantee it! Why would we call ourselves such a stupid name? Cos the end justifies the means - no one will forget “The C-Word Agency”, and you’ll forever be known as the BOM.”

BOM: “How much do we owe you CWANTS?”

stunet's picture
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stunet Monday, 24 Oct 2022 at 9:29am

Unsurprisingly, there's more to the BOM story and it involves bad governance:

This is his last LinkedIn post (Miss Helena says the letter of the day is 'C'.)

"After nearly 14 years as the caffeinated communicator of the c word, I am excited to announce a change and the culmination of this chapter.

"Starting next week, I will be moving into a full-time, in-house communications position with a national organisation (Clue: C= cumulus). I look forward to continuing to collaborate with the community of changemakers, communicators and content creators I have cultivated over more than a decade.

"Before I reveal details of my next caper, I wanted to take a moment to celebrate this significant chapter and the many crusades I have been on. Fuelled by more than 15,000 cups of coffee, countless creative conversations and copious amounts of champagne, cheese and chocolate, I have had the privilege of working alongside many incredible people and organisations."

etc etc etc

Andrew P's picture
Andrew P's picture
Andrew P Monday, 24 Oct 2022 at 11:05am

Sounds like an absolute c-word of a bloke!

Roystein's picture
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Roystein Monday, 24 Oct 2022 at 9:31pm

Unfortunately I think media and the general public are only discussing a small fraction of these type of conflict of interest circumstances that lack any type of integrity and see our taxes line the pockets of well connected silver spooners
This contract alone was worth $220k

velocityjohnno's picture
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velocityjohnno Tuesday, 25 Oct 2022 at 1:55pm

The optics on that one... omg that to me is just plain wrong.

wally's picture
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wally Monday, 24 Oct 2022 at 9:45am

Trivial anecdote.

Back in the early days of average citizens trying to find stuff on the internet, it was often tricky to find the right search text. There wasn’t the indexing like there is now.

I knew the Bureau of Meteorology had a website and I couldn’t find it. “Bureau of Meteorology” got me nothing. Neither did a variety of other searches. My mate, a weather nut, had similarly tried and tried without success. Then I read a fairly cryptic reference to Bom in a news article. I typed in “Bom” and there she was!! Success!!!

I don’t recall BOM ever being used to describe the Bureau until the acronym was used in its web address

garbage's picture
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garbage Monday, 24 Oct 2022 at 10:50am

SMAC airlines from Indo is a personal favourite.

thermalben's picture
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thermalben Monday, 24 Oct 2022 at 11:34am

Still doesn't quite top the new logo for "Australia’s nation brand", which wasn't actually a rebrand of the famous Australian Made logo, but nevertheless cost taxpayers $10 million.

The logo was scrapped, and a new one developed (featuring a kangaroo), which was then launched in February of this year. Not sure if the second version cost another $10m or not though.

Mad Dog's picture
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Mad Dog Monday, 24 Oct 2022 at 5:49pm

I wholeheartedly commend the quality of this post Stu!

"fuckin majestic" as Goodvibes would say....

John Snow's picture
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John Snow Tuesday, 25 Oct 2022 at 7:04am

Coffs Council is going through a "rebrand" from Coffs Harbour City Council to...................
City of Coffs Harbour, or better known as...............COCH

truebluebasher's picture
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truebluebasher Tuesday, 25 Oct 2022 at 11:37am

#1 Surf Journo Stu > BOMs the internet...again!

Definitive swellnet article BOMs the Gong!

Awarded "Oz #1 Investigative Journalism" by leading industry peers!

Take a bow Gold Standard Crew...

Michael West Media : "None better than here on swellnet!"
" ... Said! 'Was beaten by the best...boy!"

"We are not worthy...for which World Crisis would our Surf Guru Stu have us wallpaper next!"
"Oh please Master!"

All arise...Speech! Speech Sir Stu...

BOM Set WOTD ~~~~#~~~~%~~~~^~~~~/`~~~~/\~~~~/(~~~~/(`~~~~/C~~~~/(C`...[ stu )

stunet's picture
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stunet Tuesday, 25 Oct 2022 at 12:00pm

Ha...cheers TBB.

theblacksheep's picture
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theblacksheep Sunday, 30 Oct 2022 at 9:18am

25 years ago in Peru I used to catch this bus to the beach that went to the uni name Ciudad Universidad something or rather
I used to crack up everytime as across the top in a giant pink sign was the abbreviation C.U.N.T
Maybe where that ad agency was founded…

pcrisp's picture
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pcrisp Thursday, 3 Nov 2022 at 4:09pm

they introduced the terminology rain bombs to all the fake news outlets when the cloud seeding ramped up to flood/poison us

truebluebasher's picture
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truebluebasher Tuesday, 8 Nov 2022 at 11:54pm

The Bureau Bully Boy's Rain of Terror.

The same hand picked Bully time after time & even as govts call out the Bully they reward him more.
tbb is not just assuming this...BOM Bully has been scolded by current Govt / Leaders for over a decade.
This is 100% tolerated & rewarded by all top levels of Govt of either Party. (It's that entrenched!)
Why! Well, Boffins long served Oz national interest now serve US Corporate Armies or face the sack.

Andrew Johnson ( A J ) was yer typical Anglican School Council / rugger / cricket / #1 Big Bully.
Scholarship to Uni (1985-98)...( Natural Resources / Hon Agriculture / Philosophy.)
Yeah! That's a long time to win Rotary scholarship to US Harvard > ( IIASA partner - feeder )
2000-01 (Just 1 year!) A J is a Harvard Master of Public Admin for Public Governance, Policy & Finance.
"The Institute" Rotary/Harvard scholarships grooms Govt bullies to hive off world supercomputer data.
IIASA : International Institute for Applied Systems Analysis...(Bankrolled)

Howard Era : 1996/7-2001 > Bluelink (CSIRO/BOM/ADF) re: Godae Oceanic Defence
2002 PM grants pet bully A J Executive Powers over (seq) CSIRO $45m + 475 staff + 11 Oz offices
(Of it's kind!) Considered World top 5 National Priority Investment Portfolio ($20m was private funds)
2002 PM grants BOM Executive Powers to suit ADF/US needs.

2003-2005 Godae Navy Defence Oceanic test run for World's "Cray" Super Computer Climate Events.
Cray are not the most super computers but the best connected (Formatted) Wet Dream for IIASA.
This was the secret at that time as most nations ran similar Cray computers! Oz had good size ones!

2006 Howard appoints his Bully AJ as CSIRO Exec -
(2012-15) returns favour to join IIASA ( CSIRO Member)
Yes! A J was the only Oz (CSIRO) rep on IIASA as with plenty other Corp gigs!
Note many nations aren't members...hence why they sponsored A J to tap into CSIRO Mainframe.
Basically they only needed one student to rise thru the ranks to win their prize & A J loves them! (Tick!)

(Pause!) Howard personally tours & rewards (same) Anglican Schools often within Young Liberal loop.
tbb can swear each time Howard toured Gold Coast he prioritized All Saints visit + funding...He's a fan!
Just saying A J may have been scouted in '80's & groomed as Young Liberal for #1 privatization role!
Noting A J has locked in 20 years + 5 more...extremely long pioneering head kicking privatized career!

( IIASA 50yr / A J Quote ) : 2007 "PM Howard phoned me to sort Murray Buyback within 12 months!"
(Ya see! It's all to private...he drools over IIASA where he regurgitated his story of saving Australia!)
"I argue was very well executed with very significant changes in parameters & Policy making personal!"
AJ is describing the Corporate Raiding & hiving of Oz departmental data to highest bidders. (Banks)

2012 Senate : "CSIRO retrenched every highly acclaimed whistleblower!"... (275 modellers in total)
(By Contrast) : "CSIRO rewarded those alleged to be in breach of the law with lifelong employment!"

2006-2013 ...Tonnes & Tonnes of Bullying + Job losses as reported by Oz Media

2013 Oz Super Computers Data Transfer Costs $900k / 14mths (see news next)
Only as few as 6 of 800 users access over 50% of entire Oz Super Computers/Data.
Crew can see how CSIRO A J sacked 100's of Aussies to auction off their ports to bidding Foreign Corps.

2015 (Dec) News : China's major attack on BOM super computer (Take Years + $100's millions to fix?)

2016 A J director/CEO of BOM (1st report > Here is when A J first promotes ( The Bureau ) as a brand.;query=Id...
Note : A J drools over "The Institute"
In his eyes "The Bureau" is #1 Oz Strategic Bureau. (There is nothing else but him as boss of Everything)
Yes! Govt have loaded all Crisis onto BOM as Frontline Warning / War Alerts for everything to all.
BOM Brand Targets 2021/22 > Fell 5% short of 65% + Chix fell 15% short of 50% = "His Bureau"

2017-2020 Energy giants pay A J $1m / year to end BOM climate research reports.
Also buys his pet Corps 50% of top level mapping of Southern Hemisphere for extra resource raiding.
Yes! He even openly runs a neat sideline "A J & The ADF" Oz / Global water Partnership! (Nuthin' suss!)
Like anyone can do it...just Bully any army to guard any lake, just long enough to sell it! Easy!
Buys & Sells invisible water > like that weird invisible water he sold us in the Murray Basin. (Like magic!)

A J's corporate raiders

2019/20 BOM Tax payer budget = $263.3m/yr
2020 MW Journo asks for removal of The Bureau Bully.
2021 The Bureau Bully A J is reappointed for another 5 years

2021 $210m Australian Climate Service (bom/csiro/abs/Geoscience Australia)
(Buys What exactly?) ACS Anticipates, manages, adapts to climate impacts.
ACS is ready to support EMA / NRRA National Recovery & Resilience Agency (Quarantine Hubs)
There is zero evidence of $210m ACS warning or informing any of current East Coast La Nina hazard?
In fact the opposite is true...swellnet Craig called out the Longest Delay of informing the public! (True!)

Weaponizing Climate Change...
Space Weather Super Computers prioritize AUKUS / 5 Eyes BOM War Council
BOM rep sits = with Military rep strategist at prime desk on Invasion / defence frontline.
Just quietly...don't be surprised if that be a chick...tbb noted many Women in ADF Meteorology Rank.
In fact...the best review on Weaponizing Meteorology is written by a woman...(Not a surprise!)
Predicting Heavy Rain / Surf / Wind (Dust) to block Radar & Sound ... for Troop advances.
Equally to time a safe prolonged beach invasion with low impact weather.
Feeding hourly > Lightning / Wind updates into Rocket / Jet fuel gauges is vital to protect 24/7 base.

BOM / ADF / NASA / US Defence are #1 Weather Priority ( Next are Corps) > Then Scientists.
The calling of each weather Event must be first screened by ADF / BOM > Approved by Partners.
Crew know that with each new weaponized partner mandates more layers of secured BOM intel.
Each major Climactic event is more weaponized each year.
Therefore each day BOM is being rapidly mandated & secured, now alienated from Oz Taxpayers.

We read corporate takeover but is actually o/s Corporate weaponized junior US partner BOM.
This explains why Govt can't sack the Bully until his weaponizing of BOM is Complete.
Question is when did Howard first whisper in A J's ear to Weaponize BOM...(That's a good while back!)

BOM knows where to plant each seed & squeeze the last drop of water from the Southern Hemisphere.
Long term role is pooling those resources to resettle Climate Reffos to win the War of the Worlds.
Can't say who profits from crew know it won't be Oz...likely our puppet masters!

truebluebasher's picture
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truebluebasher Wednesday, 3 Jan 2024 at 2:49pm

Take 2 : Shell Shocked La Nina > El Nino BOM Shell

Fuse keeps gettin' re-lit over & over again...can't put out the fire! Kaboom!

Blast from the Past : Weather Gods naming Cyclones after cantankerous blustery Pollies!
Today's Frontline Defence Ai Weather Godz cling to mud neath Storm Troopers Boots.

Lightning Seeds:"Misguided Missiles Spin in space feel like a sundial in the shade where flowers fade."

All comes down to this..
Cat 5 (Whizz bang Storms clear out a few Fibro Shacks & swing a few signs...done...See ya!)
Cat 2 (New Massive Sloth Bombs) coz record week long Devastation eating Oz Whole!
BOM are accused of not taking these Massive Rain bomb Sloths seriously!
Massive Rain Bombs were Just a weird they're #1 On the Weather Charts
People no longer give a shit about the Destructive Catz when they're drowning in record fire season.
1/100 Floods are history
1/10 Floods are nothin' special
Record 1/1yr Record Rain Bombs are now smashin' our BOM
Fuck yer sissy Cyclonic Ratings Need a new Cat 1-5 Deepshit Downpour Gauge

Universal Media got sick of waitin' on BOM & pulled the El Nino rip chord
BOM said you bloody amateurs just broke the ENSO lever
But Wait! There's more...
After a million years on...when BOM finally calls El Nino then the Whole Universe hurls mud at BOM.
All blame BOM for stoking a record wet El Nino...that we're currently drowning in!
Basically when BOM finally pulled the lever...the World says ya still got it all arse about...Fix it!

Gotta go back & do it properly...only that Good'n'Proper has been pummelled!

Every Voter in Oz is now a Weather Expert ...Demanding spin the world in reverse!
Oz Town Mayors : "BOM are not up to speed! Getting slower to forecast each Storm...!"
PM wades thru a sea of Pitchfolks then summons for the Election Poll Lever...Bugger!

BOM Public Execution it is...

6th Aug BOM SUPA COMPUTA OZ II is on holiday sippin' Coladas during Fire Season.
Couriers are faster than BOM $1b ROBUST Super Computa upgrade!
6th Aug : Qld Bushfire Season kicks off & continues Blazing with wrath of fiery El Nino fury.

19th Sept : BOM declares El Nino...

2nd Oct Victoria El Nino Fires switch to Floods

26th Oct : BOM expands River Murray Flooding Forecasts

El Nino is all arse about...

28th Nov : Why in El Nino so Wet

1st Dec (Nov) Oz Record 40 million Oz Lightning Strikes over the last Month

3rd Dec : El Nino usually DRY > Why weeks now weeks of Heavy Rain?
4th Dec : We're in El Nino - Why is Oz so Wet?

7th Dec : 1st the Super Fire Computa slows > BOM Cyclone Tracker is offline as Cyclone Intensifies

9th Dec SA cops whole Dec rain in one Day

15th Dec NSW Hottest ever start to Summer Scorcher

Shock Jocks kicking the fuck outta BOM to fuel Albo's Homeland Security Fail

29th Nov : (Livestock Chaos!) BOM called EL Nino too Early...Admit yer Wrong!
19th Dec : BOM cops it over over Far North Flood Predictions
19 Dec : Not a Perfect Science.."Full confidence in BOM Warnings falling Short!

20th Dec BOM Warnings came too Late
22nd Dec : BOM Cyclone Forecast a massive Fail
27th Dec : [L] Mayor's Fury > Oz 10 dead > Slam the BOM.

30 Dec : Dud Forecasts & Alerts > Probe the BOM > Close the Gaps!

Menzies / Sky is falling Media ~ BOM's Failure to warn on Floods

30th Dec : PM swears he'll kick BOM's arse at High Tea Party!

30th Dec Almighty BOM... "BRING IT" Gonna enjoy smashin' all you wannabe Ai Puny Weather Godz!

Neo Cons : "BOM are expert Forecasters > Blame BOM for fuelling Climate Change" Go get'em Boys!

Fed Govt / BOM Reviews Timeline!
4th Jan 2024 Dec 2023 Summary
9th Jan 2024 Regional / Capital City Reviews
Early Feb 2024 (Complete 2023 Review!)
End 2024 Fed Emergency Warning System becomes available