Cast announced for Reality TV competition 'The Ultimate Surfer'

American television broadcaster ABC has announced the cast of their new surfing competition series The Ultimate Surfer.

Former NFL quarterback Jesse Palmer and season 5 star of The Bachelor is set to host the surf competition series. Sports anchor Erin Coscarelli and the iconic voice of professional surfing Joe Turpel will serve as commentators. Eleven-time surfing world champion Kelly Slater is the lead consultant and also serves as a special correspondent.

Jesse Palmer, Erin Coscarelli, and Joe Turpel - Photo: Kelsey McNeal/ABC

The surfers competing for the title of "the Ultimate Surfer" include:

  • Anastasia Ashley, 33, Miami Beach, Florida
  • Kai Barger, 30, Haiku, Hawaii
  • Mason Barnes, 26, Venice, California
  • Tia Blanco, 23, Oceanside, California
  • Austin Clouse, 26, Jacksonville Beach, Florida
  • Brianna Cope, 25, Koloa, Hawaii
  • Luke Davis, 27, Los Angeles, California
  • Kayla Durden, 27, Jacksonville Beach, Florida
  • Juli Hernandez, 22, Costa Mesa, California
  • Zeke Lau, 26, Honolulu, Hawaii
  • Alejandro Moreda, 34, San Juan, Puerto Rico
  • Koa Smith, 25, Sunset Beach, Hawaii
  • Malia Ward, 22, San Clemente, California
  • Bruna Zaun, 30, Redondo Beach, California

Photo: Kelsey McNeal/ABC

Throughout the series, the competitors will take each other on in both individual and team challenges, which will be centered around specific aspects of the water sport.

"The Ultimate Surfer" will gather some of the world's greatest up-and-coming surfers to train and live together as they battle it out at the World Surf League's (WSL) state-of-the-art Surf Ranch in Lemoore, California, powered by Kelly Slater's human-made wave technology, in the hope of competing amongst the best athletes in the world's fastest-growing sport.

Alliances and rivalries will be front and center in "The Ultimate Surfer" as men and women compete in individual and team challenges focused on specific surfing disciplines. Weekly eliminations will leave two men and two women as finalists who will vie for the male and female titles of the The Ultimate Surfer and the opportunity to compete on the elite WSL Championship Tour, the pinnacle of professional surfing.

Slater's remarkable, one-of-a-kind, human-made wave—the most even playing field for measuring surf mastery—is at the heart of the series.

The two-hour premiere will air on Monday, Aug. 23, and Tuesday, Aug. 24 (10:00 - 11:00 p.m. ET), following new episodes of Bachelor in Paradise.

Comments

Vic Local's picture
Vic Local's picture
Vic Local Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 8:16am

This show might have that rare characteristic where it's soooooooo bad, it's actually watchable due to the cringe factor. There could be plenty of LOLs and no jokes.
I reckon it may even surpass the Bay Watch episode where Kelly Slater's board gets washed into a cave and gets eaten by a giant squid.

rothmanisatool's picture
rothmanisatool's picture
rothmanisatool Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 9:09am

yep this is a fair call. these "athletes"' are all instagram stars and never was/junior washups. i definitely want to watch for the cringe. WSL has missed a big opportunity again. unlike UFC show where you get a fight contract and its real athletes, this is a farce and another poor attempt to force surfing into the mainstream. i dont know how this organisation can continue to incinerate dollars the way it does (well actually i do its a billionaires tax write off, but i digress)

thermalben's picture
thermalben's picture
thermalben Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 8:16am

Impressed with how much staging went into that 'cast' photo.. worthy of a behind-the-scenes docco. Every muscle flex, wisp of hair, variety of facial expressions, placement of surfboards etc. No attention to detail too small to enhance.

Also love how they got the high tech wave pool into the pic, though it looks like a miniature highway overpass.

Blowin's picture
Blowin's picture
Blowin Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 8:30am

Yep. Isn’t it amazing the precision the producers seek when trying to hit their target. Shame they lack the self awareness to realise just how shitful the target is in the first place.

rothmanisatool's picture
rothmanisatool's picture
rothmanisatool Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 9:10am

bahahahha

Vic Local's picture
Vic Local's picture
Vic Local Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 12:09pm

The best bit is the pointed toe on black bikini girl on the right. That looks so natural!!

seaslug's picture
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seaslug Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 12:52pm

Haha VL, I thought the same, trying to get that calf definition

calk's picture
calk's picture
calk Wednesday, 12 May 2021 at 6:25pm

Hanging five, catering to the long boarder market.

.cylinders's picture
.cylinders's picture
.cylinders Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 2:44pm

Zeke's got the nicest tits out of all of them by quite a margin

rrr's picture
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rrr Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 8:19am

how about 'married at first sight- the surfie edition dude '

rrr's picture
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rrr Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 8:21am

and on the first day they get to clean the pool .

seaslug's picture
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seaslug Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 4:32pm

and the misses

Blowin's picture
Blowin's picture
Blowin Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 8:26am

The Ultimate Abomination. I heard they smear peanut butter on their teeth to make it look like they can talk.

Chick on the far right looks like she’s trying to lever out a recalcitrant fart.

R00ney's picture
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R00ney Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 11:51am

Yeah, i couldn't quite work it out...but you got it in one Blowin

Blowin's picture
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Blowin Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 8:27am

Peak Seppo.

Fckers just cannot help themselves.

rothmanisatool's picture
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rothmanisatool Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 9:11am

yesssssss. hardcore hawaiians like me would punch these c*nts out in a jiffy.

criso's picture
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criso Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 9:58am

Im surprised zeke went on it i thought he was smarter or maybe he needs the money

Jono's picture
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Jono Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 11:48am

Probably better chance of winning this and getting on the CT than doing the whole QS. Easy backoor onto the tour.

Pato_'s picture
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Pato_ Monday, 10 May 2021 at 3:55pm

How much easier would that be then the QS, besides no idea how the QS operates with covid and travel restrictions anyway.

Fliplid's picture
Fliplid's picture
Fliplid Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 8:27am

Very clever of the WSL, more media content.

And next step, Turpel action dolls with changeable outfits and pull chord vocals

Yendor's picture
Yendor's picture
Yendor Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 2:18pm

All orifices included...

Vic Local's picture
Vic Local's picture
Vic Local Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 2:22pm

"that score's going to go into the excellent range"

McQuartzie's picture
McQuartzie's picture
McQuartzie Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 8:28am

Seriously. This encapsulates everything that is wrong with the surfing culture. The most disturbing thing is that it is actually surfers in the show.

DBEARINDARE's picture
DBEARINDARE's picture
DBEARINDARE Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 8:28am

Get set to have your local, not only get busier.
But jam packed with beautiful looking Sheeple who want to be like this lot.

Wow.

Hall of Lame's picture
Hall of Lame's picture
Hall of Lame Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 10:52am

Freshwater Beach Sydney - it's already happened.

fitzroy-21's picture
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fitzroy-21 Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 8:39am

OMG, I just cannot believe what we are becoming as a species. I am truly lost for words.

Blowin's picture
Blowin's picture
Blowin Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 8:43am

Fingers crossed it’s an extremely localised outbreak. Originated in the ground zero of superficially- California- and has limited spreading to provincial production houses around the world.

I’m hoping most people don’t think like this.

simba's picture
simba's picture
simba Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 8:48am

well baywatch was a bad joke and the only thing good that came out of that was Pam.....hehehe.........

But this is another kick in the guts to surfing ...humiliating .......

dastasha's picture
dastasha's picture
dastasha Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 8:49am

Progression ay?!

simba's picture
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simba Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 8:56am

anyway this is descrimination! wheres my invite why arn't the old surfers represented...i mean ma and pa could be in it riding their 12ft mals .......no one wants to see the over 50s .....imagine the close ups ,wrinkle vision.....going in for the big tongue kiss and the false teeth fall out all caught on camera .....or the old ped perving on the young chicks (women).......behind the tractor at Lemore.....etc

campbell's picture
campbell's picture
campbell Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 8:57am

Is it April 1st?
Some out and out wankers on the list too what could go wrong?

ringmaster's picture
ringmaster's picture
ringmaster Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 9:06am

Shiny white teeth!

You don't get a gig unless you've got shiny white teeth.

Vic Local's picture
Vic Local's picture
Vic Local Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 2:30pm

What about a shiny white bald spot ringmaster? Does that make up for non-bleached teeth?**

** Asking for a friend.

seaslug's picture
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seaslug Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 4:34pm

FUK YOU VL, I've been promised that role

Island Bay's picture
Island Bay's picture
Island Bay Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 9:10am

And these people run professional surfing. We're all doomed!

(That lady next to Joe Turdpail looks a little uneasy.)

rothmanisatool's picture
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rothmanisatool Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 9:12am

turpel looks like he just jammed his finger up her bumhole.

Island Bay's picture
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Island Bay Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 9:21am

You never know.

The rest of him looks squeaky clean, through.

seaslug's picture
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seaslug Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 4:37pm

I've heard on the quite that it was a fist

AndyM's picture
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AndyM Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 4:42pm

Is it because Turpel's wearing lippy or because he looks somewhat like Paul Reubens?

indo-dreaming's picture
indo-dreaming's picture
indo-dreaming Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 9:14am

Im a reality TV fan but really it is depressing to see what surfing and the world has become, i think I'm now officially old.

Rooting for team yellow though.

thermalben's picture
thermalben's picture
thermalben Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 9:23am

"I'm a reality TV fan".

Really? Never heard anyone publicly divulge that kinda info before.

zenagain's picture
zenagain's picture
zenagain Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 10:00am

Indo has form in that regard.

GuySmiley's picture
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GuySmiley Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 12:07pm

you're doing what for team yellow info? moved on from dandy markets?

indo-dreaming's picture
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indo-dreaming Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 12:14pm

Thats what you do in the USA Guy you root for your team.

GuySmiley's picture
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GuySmiley Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 1:13pm

You get the use of plausible deniability off Scotty info?

indo-dreaming's picture
indo-dreaming's picture
indo-dreaming Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 12:07pm

ha ha i probably came across a bit enthusiastic i don't want to paint a picture of me watching love island or whatever, i only watch a few and a lot i can't stand , especially those dating type ones that are obviously half scripted and im not into those ones where they lose weight or cooking challenges or dancing with the stars & talent star ones etc they drive me crazy.

But i do like the movement that hit in the early 2000's think more in the vein of Survivor, Race around the world, the Mole, even dare i say the original Big brother series (although i have to admit im still watching the current ones, but more because my daughter and wife are, its a shadow of the original series though.)

And then there is all those smaller reality type docco ones, like surviving in the wild, or fishing, adventure shows, or pawn shop, oh and all the renovation and realestate ones, i dig some of those.

Standingleft's picture
Standingleft's picture
Standingleft Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 9:17am

In a swimming pool? Do they even go in the ocean? Ultimate surfer, they can't be serious.
Have these people watched a comp at the pool? Surely there's enough repetitive, predictable, boring crap on TV already

kookfactor's picture
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kookfactor Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 9:39am

I really dislike judgemental people, I can tell just by looking at them........[tongue in cheek]

wally's picture
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wally Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 9:40am

Average age = 26.86.
I’m not sure these are “the world's greatest up-and-coming surfers”.

Vic Local's picture
Vic Local's picture
Vic Local Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 9:43am

I've seen Joey close up on a few occasions and can safely inform everyone his teeth aren't that white. I suspect photoshop at best, or teeth bleaching that would never be allowed in the first world at worst.

fitzroy-21's picture
fitzroy-21's picture
fitzroy-21 Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 10:23am

Bloody hell you are switched on VL. Not in a million years would I have suspected photoshop on that picture...Thanks for pointing it out to us all...

Blowin's picture
Blowin's picture
Blowin Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 12:24pm

Thankfully they only had the photoshop machine turned up to half power. They must surely have been tempted to crank it to 10....

Goofy4's picture
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Goofy4 Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 9:49am

Musing over what consultative advice Slater is going to provide and trying hard to understand what has motivated him to be involved in this farce - other than easy money i.e........

Chocalatte's picture
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Chocalatte Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 10:25am

"...other than easy money" says it all! Kelly is renowned for his short arms & deep pockets, this is just adding to his pocket stash! Plus it'll remind the American public he's still alive, given he hasn't been competing in Oz & likely won't make the Olympics, unless he pays JJF or Kolohe for their five-ring circus tickets...

jshe35's picture
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jshe35 Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 10:03am

At least physical appearance wasn’t a factor in the casting, what a bunch of munters!!!

crg's picture
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crg Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 10:14am

This is where you need to accept emoji’s in the comments section Ben...so we can all type in that vomit face a thousand times.

scrotina's picture
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scrotina Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 10:25am

oh no.

zenagain's picture
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zenagain Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 10:27am

Liz Cambage would be having conniptions over that pic- y'all.

truebluebasher's picture
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truebluebasher Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 6:04pm

Most sportsmanlike for zenagain to allow Liz draw another breath.

zenagain's picture
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zenagain Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 6:34pm

Cheers TB. But it wasn't a compliment.

seaslug's picture
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seaslug Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 10:41am

I'll bet anyone that Anastasia Ashley wears shit splitters

Blowin's picture
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Blowin Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 12:28pm

She’ll have to go Full Borat to stand out in this crowd.

AndyM's picture
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AndyM Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 4:57pm

She's having some real trouble getting something out.

More fibre.

zenagain's picture
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zenagain Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 6:36pm

Tightly cropped.

If you squint really hard you can see the pole and the oversized champagne glass.

Fliplid's picture
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Fliplid Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 8:49pm

I’ve never heard of Anastasia Ashley (or any of the others ) so after seeing that vid I thought I’d see if she can surf.

Might be more chance of finding footage of her pole dancing because there’s fuck all of her surfing

thermalben's picture
thermalben's picture
thermalben Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 7:08pm

Look at me! Look at me!

thermalben's picture
thermalben's picture
thermalben Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 7:10pm

Now, this is a better kind of warm up routine. No stone left unturned.

Westofthelake's picture
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Westofthelake Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 7:53pm

Hahaha...you'd think with that sound track he coulda done some air boxing.

Jono's picture
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Jono Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 9:00pm

The competitor in the blue rashy at 0:30 seconds - her face says it all. Bit of Baz Cornell coming out there.

AndyM's picture
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AndyM Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 9:07pm

Maybe something like "Faaark orf ya narcissistic caaaarnt".

Jono's picture
Jono's picture
Jono Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 9:13pm

"Stop faarking flapping around like a galah wearing headphones, faarrrrrkkk me"

seaslug's picture
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seaslug Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 10:43am

I'm absolutely mortified that KS missed the group photo opportunity

criso's picture
criso's picture
criso Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 11:16am

What i see so far is Tia Blanco is the winner

criso's picture
criso's picture
criso Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 11:21am

Oh they are all so pritty, perfect reality

seaslug's picture
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seaslug Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 11:22am

KS will be in high demand to make adjustments to some of the contestants and crews fin boxes, lucky bugger haha

views from the cockpit's picture
views from the cockpit's picture
views from the ... Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 12:18pm

I do plenty of perving/observing nubile flesh anywhere/everywhere but don't consider myself a ped.
Just a healthy appetite.
Slurp

velocityjohnno's picture
velocityjohnno's picture
velocityjohnno Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 12:38pm

In the reality TV hall of fame, this will not hold a candle to 'There's Something About Miriam".

Gra Murdoch's picture
Gra Murdoch's picture
Gra Murdoch Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 1:16pm

what a fucken joke

GuySmiley's picture
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GuySmiley Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 1:21pm

3-C6-BD44-D-DD40-4-CFF-B469-8-C32-DEEFF8-CC

rooftop's picture
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rooftop Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 1:21pm

This is awesome. I've got that light-headed, refreshed, ready to take on the world feeling you get just after you puke.

Roker's picture
Roker's picture
Roker Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 3:11pm

Jeez. Why? What for? Who cares?

On ABC at 10pm. Network TV is rooted. The execs must know they'll make a nice return through advertising.

The producer/exec producers appear to be a serious lot. Elo ensuring the future of the League?

Dirk to recoup some losses too?

Wonder how much the contestants get paid? Half their luck. Who could blame them?

Does the winner get a slot for the entire tour? How much does this enhance the credibility of the League?

Why isn't Kelly a cast member? Can he come in at some point as one of those interloper or gatecrasher like characters?

Does this make satire redundant? Or at least almost impossible to pull off?

Bnkref's picture
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Bnkref Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 3:38pm

A couple of years ago in Bali I saw a girl prancing around the reef at Bingin in a bikini and a pair of brand new Converse high-tops.

Attention seeking and/or promo at its worst. But then it went another level! Paddled out to the lineup with the shoes on.

Turns out it was Malia Ward. Pink bikini in the photo above.

views from the cockpit's picture
views from the cockpit's picture
views from the ... Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 3:52pm

Hope the black shorts sort out Zeke

adam12's picture
adam12's picture
adam12 Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 4:04pm

When North Shore the movie was released everyone laughed, how stupid, wave pool to world tour/pipe. I also remember the pros banding together to bitch about Christian Fletcher getting covers in a letter saying 'the world title isn't decided at Trestles'. Worlds turn.

simba's picture
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simba Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 4:39pm

They could have Pam and Kellys love child in it with a separated Pam and Kelly reuniting and Kels gets to coach his kid thru to the gripping finale at the ranch............

tubeshooter's picture
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tubeshooter Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 4:58pm

haha ,, Calling this shit ' Reality tv ' is a bit of an insult to anyone who actually lives in the real world , I think the title of the show is bit of a stretch. And Joey getting called up for commentary is the icing on one fucked up cake. His co-commentator should be Kim Kardashian.
But the fact the WSL is giving two of these muppets a shot at the CT is absolutely bullshit in my view. ffs

seaslug's picture
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seaslug Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 5:21pm

+1 TS, you could be onto something KK might make a guest appearance, not outside the realms of possibility given its seppo land, wonder if the production could afford it

AndyM's picture
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AndyM Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 7:28pm

For a moment there I thought you said that the title of the show is a bit of a stench.

I wouldn't have disagreed.

Surfalot67's picture
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Surfalot67 Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 4:59pm

Well, now we're really fucked. As if this last year's influx if Covid kooks with nothing but time and a Chinese SW special wasn't bad enough, now we have this. I bet those fucking idiots from the Groove Girls are getting all moist already at the prospect of a day full of flailing on the shoulder at Greeny followed a round of prosecco watching this at night....

AndyM's picture
AndyM's picture
AndyM Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 5:02pm

You bastard Surfalot.

I went and Googled Groove Girls

"The most inclusive surf gang to hit Australia’s east coastline. Groove Girls is an all-female surf group based on the Gold Coast, Australia. Stephanie Teixeira, the founder of Groove Girls says, “We’re all about challenging gender stereotypes, facing our fears and creating a safe environment for women to come together".

Fuggin bewdy.

Instagram account essential, legrope optional I assume.

Surfalot67's picture
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Surfalot67 Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 5:17pm

Yeah sorry mate - it's real, check 'em out on facey. All about connecting for a surf, 30-40 at a time. The Alley crew spent a whole day burning them on every wave and explaining this will happen EVERY time they show up, now they've moved to Greeny. I've already had a thrown away no-legrope pink mal smash both my shins as I tried to surf around the shoulder hopping kook. Thought I'd broken my legs, black and blue for weeks after....but you know, its all about facing their fears right?

velocityjohnno's picture
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velocityjohnno Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 8:18pm

I thought it was Surf Witches up that way?

brandonrooney14's picture
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brandonrooney14 Tuesday, 11 May 2021 at 9:47am

Yup, I had my precious 8'11" long-twin lose essentially half the tail block due to a ghostied surfboard warehouse offering doing the shoulder hop on a speed run through greeny. I do absolutely love it that there's so many more girls having a crack but I would say that surfschools and sideline parenting has a lot to answer for in terms of etiquette. I do forget that it IS the Goldy and that anything fucking goes sometimes.

AndyM's picture
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AndyM Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 5:28pm

Fuck me that's crook Surfalot.

simba's picture
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simba Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 6:45pm

rumour is that lenno is on their radar

AndyM's picture
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AndyM Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 7:05pm

Stop it.

Actually I was thinking about that before - wouldn't it put the cat amongst the pigeons if the Groovy Girls got buddy buddy with the local concreter's daughter and turned up en masse?

Mayhem.

backyard's picture
backyard's picture
backyard Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 5:39pm

Hopefully this will prove to be excellent surf aversion therapy for youngsters and there will be no one surfing in ten years. Is the chipmunk there as a fluffer?

tango's picture
tango's picture
tango Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 6:06pm

This is so shithouse I just don't know where to start.

Is there nothing about surfing that these promoslurries won't sell out?

The only thing I really want is a thumbs up capability on the comments here - some of the ones above had me laughing out loud.

Vic Local's picture
Vic Local's picture
Vic Local Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 6:07pm

I hope at least one two hour episode consists entirely of Pottz recounting tales from the World Tour in the 80s. Just a monologue with ad breaks for various hair care and yoga products. You could have the young surf stars in the background listening to all those epic stories.

AndyM's picture
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AndyM Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 6:43pm

His name isn't "Pottz", his name is "'89 World Champ", thank you very much.

Roker's picture
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Roker Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 6:13pm

Be great to see the Woz pivot and become leaders in the mindfulness and wellness space.

Vic Local's picture
Vic Local's picture
Vic Local Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 6:34pm

Classic Roker. When someone says they are "a mindfulness and wellness guru", I just see a person too fucking lazy or stupid to go to uni to get proper qualifications, but happy to flog off "medical" treatments with a massive markup. So it's perfect for the Woz.

Roker's picture
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Roker Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 6:55pm

Yeah right - on second thoughts - careful what you wish for VL!

zenagain's picture
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zenagain Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 6:58pm

Who are the stupid ones though Vic? The 'mindfullness swami' with no student debt or the morons that buy into it?

velocityjohnno's picture
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velocityjohnno Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 8:20pm

Touche.

GuySmiley's picture
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GuySmiley Monday, 10 May 2021 at 1:27pm

... or real estate (c***s) agents

Westofthelake's picture
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Westofthelake Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 6:15pm

One of those 8 girls really could do with a hair cut...

ringmaster's picture
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ringmaster Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 6:22pm

Fuck!

This topic sure ramped up since I last looked at it!

Thanks for the entertainment lads and can't wait for it to begin.

Can Swellnet please do a live stream when it starts (like the CT comps) with comments section of course.

Vic Local's picture
Vic Local's picture
Vic Local Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 6:50pm

I reckon the PGA should do something similar. Get like 8 young topless male golfers and 8 female golfers in bikinis, and add Bernhard Langer and Greg Norman. Shoot a 10 part TV series and the winner gets to play in The Masters. End this lowest score wins bullshit once and for all.
That would put golf on the map.

velocityjohnno's picture
velocityjohnno's picture
velocityjohnno Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 8:22pm

A political version of the show - winner gets to govern the country.

gsco's picture
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gsco Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 7:03pm

Is the WSL really going to go all-in with producing limitless fake junk trash American SoCal insta lifestyle "content"? Is that their only business strategy?

Sheep go to heaven's picture
Sheep go to heaven's picture
Sheep go to heaven Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 7:34pm

I wonder if Zeke will paddle round and round one of the other competitors , a la Bells with John John a few years ago ?
He could start with that girl in the yellow bikini ......
ps ; good call ringmaster , lets have a livestream Stu and open slather on the comments :)

seaslug's picture
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seaslug Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 7:46pm

Netflix reality TV show Byron Baes, could WA’s ‘Down South’ be next

AndyM's picture
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AndyM Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 7:48pm

Sheep if she keeps pushing her tits out like that she's going to get scoliosis.

tubeshooter's picture
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tubeshooter Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 7:47pm

hmmm ,,,time for an add break.

Vic Local's picture
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Vic Local Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 8:19pm

Thanks for the heads up tube shooter. My manscaper 7000 gets delivered in 10 days and the wedding tackle is going to be super smooth 15 minutes later. All the cool young surfers are doing it.

velocityjohnno's picture
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velocityjohnno Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 8:24pm
Vic Local's picture
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Vic Local Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 8:36pm

I'm in tears VJ.

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Fireblade Monday, 10 May 2021 at 7:42am

Chutney channel... my brain hurts from laughing so hard.

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Bob Sacamano Monday, 10 May 2021 at 8:43am

That is the funniest review I've ever read..... I lost it.

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seaslug Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 9:02pm

Petrol or diesel version VL, turbo charged?

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rrr Monday, 10 May 2021 at 9:29am

hahaha and again hahahaa im havin a fit

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bonza Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 7:53pm

This is going to be huge. On our shores soon.

simba's picture
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simba Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 8:13pm

its obvious that ashley chick has had a knee replacement ,thats why she cant straighten her leg in the photo......should have done the rehab.

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Vic Local Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 8:32pm

But in all seriousness, competitive surfing needs a World Series Cricket moment where someone comes in with a breakaway league and the WSL gets what is deserves.
This reality TV BULLSHIT gives the winner an opportunity to compete on the CT Tour. Having an alternative entry way into a CT event is a complete fucking joke. Was this TV show even open to non-american surfers? What's the judging criteria? If it's some public vote that makes the entire shit show a popularity contest.
And what happens to the poor sod on the QS who would get a wildcard entry into a CT event only to get bumped by a surfer who won a farcical and American only reality TV selection process.
Fuck off WSL, you're a pack of absolute dogs turning surfing into a clown show for $$$.

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ringmaster Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 9:02pm

But you'll watch it VL.

......and the WSL will be the winner!

Vic Local's picture
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Vic Local Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 9:09pm

I'd rather chop off my freshly shaved genitals and chuck them in a lake than watch a WSL reality TV show. I'm also losing interest in watching the actual comps although did enjoy the big day at margs. I can only take so much "Harvey normal recaps" and "shit product scoreboard" mentions before turning off. Especially in shitty East Coast waves.

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zenagain Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 9:51pm

You won't be saying that when Trestles rolls around.

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tubeshooter Sunday, 9 May 2021 at 10:43pm

It is a bullshit way to get a wildcard let alone 3. And I'm betting the " ...challenges , which will be centered around certain aspects of the sport." will probably have nothing to do with surfing ability.

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theblacksheep Monday, 10 May 2021 at 7:50am

The winner will get destroyed on the tour.

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frog Monday, 10 May 2021 at 7:57am

Put a live bull shark in the pool - they don't mind freshwater. Add some spice to it all. Then Kelly can turn up and do an air and jump the shark to join the Fonz in the trailer park of formerly cool dudes.

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jasper99 Monday, 10 May 2021 at 8:00am

Think I just vomited in my mouth a little

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D-Rex Monday, 10 May 2021 at 9:08am

Now come on fellas, I know you're all just a little peeved you didn't get the call-up...

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Stephen Allen Monday, 10 May 2021 at 9:34am

How many freakin "specific aspects" of the sport are there? This is an embarrassment to surfing.

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rrr Monday, 10 May 2021 at 9:38am

episode one .
how to apply stickers correctly , and fast . how to choose the correct wax for the conditions .
or youre into the bottom 2 .
where you have to arm wrestle to save yourself .
girls get to jelly wrestle .
unless you have the most followers ' then you go straight to the top .
safe for another week .
whew !

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NDC Monday, 10 May 2021 at 10:21am

Oh fuck - what a bunch of posers in that group shot... and is Joe turpell wearing lipstick in the host portrait... thank christ when you paddle out on a crisp morning on a lonely beach the act of surfing is pretty much the same as it ever was ... perhaps better thanks to advances in equipment ...coz from the look of those photos this shit show will have NOTHING in common with the beautiful pastime of surfing and why I still love it - please fuck off with your perception of 'reality' surf

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Trentslatterphoto Monday, 10 May 2021 at 10:28am

this is going to be that bad its great frothing

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frog Monday, 10 May 2021 at 12:53pm

It might be the first thing WSL has ever done that will actually turn a profit - some of these shows can be nice little earners.

Ziff will be frothing. Imagine..... his ROI will shift from negative 40% on tens of millions to date to maybe negative 35%!

Turps has even cut his curly locks for the big time.

But they will need drama, tears, bitchiness, dinner party fights, drunken escapades, behind the scenes secret affairs, shower scenes, mud wrestling, nude surfing (at night so its sort of PG?) and sessions in spider filled dive masks to really crack the big time. Two minute trims on the perfect wave will bore everyone.

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thermalben Monday, 10 May 2021 at 1:04pm

"Some of these shows can be nice little earners."

And, some of them can flop badly, never to be seen after the first series.

There's a big list of Australian reality TV shows here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Australian_reality_television_series

I mean, for starters, here's the TV shows starting with a "B":

The Bachelor
Bachelor in Paradise
The Bachelorette
Back with the Ex
Backpackers
Balls of Steel Australia
Battle of the Choirs
Beauty and the Geek Australia
Being Lara Bingle
The Big Adventure
The Biggest Loser
The Block
Bogan Hunters
Bondi Ink Tattoo
The Boss Is Coming to Dinner
The Briefcase
Bringing Sexy Back
Brynne: My Bedazzled Life
Buying Blind

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Roker Monday, 10 May 2021 at 7:38pm

Swellnet being a credible organisation committed to upholding the best of journalistic standards - I trust you watched every episode of every show in this list before arriving at your conclusion Ben,

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thermalben Monday, 10 May 2021 at 7:45pm

Twice in fact, just to be sure.

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garyg1412 Tuesday, 11 May 2021 at 9:55am

When you look at that list you think thank fuck for the ABC and SBS where you can still watch TV shows targeted towards human beings with more than half a brain cell.

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simba Monday, 10 May 2021 at 1:26pm

being lara bingle ? really .....that would be a mind warp

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thermalben Monday, 10 May 2021 at 1:36pm

You should check out "Brynne: My Bedazzled Life".

Doesn't get much more bottom-of-the-celebrity-barrel than that.

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Shaun Hanson Monday, 10 May 2021 at 1:46pm

Fuk i dont think im from this planet ...
....when is the rocket ship leaving to take me back to where ever it is i came from ...

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gm14 Monday, 10 May 2021 at 2:38pm

"the iconic voice of professional surfing Joe Turpel"

**insert awkward Joe laugh when someone says something slightly off wossle brand**

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Gra Murdoch Monday, 10 May 2021 at 3:42pm

There's a certain island community that are in uproar about this farce of the travesty of a show. I suspect we'll be hearing from them soon enough.

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ringmaster Monday, 10 May 2021 at 7:39pm

Would that be the 'Love Island' community Gra?

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Santosha Monday, 10 May 2021 at 6:39pm

‘ competing amongst the best athletes in the WORLD’S FASTEST GROWING SPORT ‘.... well fuck me, with 8 billion people on the planet there should be 5000 surfers at every surf break in no time. Yay

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andy-mac Monday, 10 May 2021 at 7:26pm

No words, all been said. Farken joke.

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tubeshooter Monday, 10 May 2021 at 9:48pm
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Johan Wohlleben Monday, 10 May 2021 at 10:02pm

What a fucken joke!! How has the ‘surfing lifestyle’ come to this? I guess it’s all about fake me, me me. And I used to admire Slater for his surfing (still do I guess) but he must be a greedy fucker to do this for Covid manufactured wannabes. Zeke shame.

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D-Rex Monday, 10 May 2021 at 10:24pm

Outrage for outrage's sake - more pressing concerns exist methinks eg. Dan's mystery tumble.

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Trentslatterphoto Tuesday, 11 May 2021 at 2:21pm

time for a fans only page Anastasia Ashley clocks ticking

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Blowin Tuesday, 11 May 2021 at 3:04pm

Nice article by Malcolm Knox. Unfortunately the crew running the WSL are basically , in spirit and mentality, the same crew who made Point Break. Too much Jazz Hands is never enough.

https://www.smh.com.au/culture/movies/the-only-thing-worse-than-point-br...

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AndyM Wednesday, 12 May 2021 at 12:13am

I'm just pleased that he used the term 'chuck a browneye'.

An Aussie classic that deserves to live on.

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Halfscousehalfc... Tuesday, 11 May 2021 at 3:19pm

What a steaming load of shite

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dean maddison Tuesday, 11 May 2021 at 4:48pm

Roughly 160 comments so far = 160 viewers ( inc. myself ). The winners probably give the Aussies a good run on the CT. The whole thing is none the less disgusting. How devastated would Zeke be if he didnt win.

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Vic Local Tuesday, 11 May 2021 at 5:37pm

This reality TV farce, is to surfing what Hillsong is to Christianity. Just a bunch of rich old fucks using instagram cookie cutter wannabes to make a buck. It's about as authentic as a $3 note.
Bring back the days when the Aussie team for the world titles marched down the Lorne Main Street absolutely shit faced. At least there was a sense of authenticity about that drunken rabble.

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DBEARINDARE Tuesday, 11 May 2021 at 10:02pm

Bring back the days when if you walked around like a show pony. Someone would beat that out of you.
So people had more respect for everyone else, because it hurt less than a punch in the face.

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DBEARINDARE Tuesday, 11 May 2021 at 10:09pm

Also. If you were strutting your stuff. It was because you actually achieved something most others hadn't, and the word got around by others who respected it.
Not by you posting it.
And it was "cool, man"
Ahhh yeah. Take me back noooow!
Ha.

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Halfscousehalfc... Wednesday, 12 May 2021 at 6:20pm

Personally I think as Aussie’s we shun this dribble so this it doesn’t creep into our identity as Aussie surfers

theolderIgetthebetterIwas's picture
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theolderIgetthe... Wednesday, 12 May 2021 at 9:22pm

what will Turpsy's biography/memoir be called? Any ideas?

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fcalmon Thursday, 13 May 2021 at 8:11am

The polished turd

zenagain's picture
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zenagain Thursday, 13 May 2021 at 9:20am

Big night on the Turps?

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zenagain Thursday, 13 May 2021 at 9:29am

Topsy Turpy?

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mattlock Thursday, 13 May 2021 at 9:44am

Turp's Brain Burps.

zenagain's picture
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zenagain Thursday, 13 May 2021 at 10:05am

Smokin' Pottz- How I fellated the '89 World Champ.

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tman Thursday, 13 May 2021 at 10:11am

Did anyone else vomit in their mouth a little when reading this?

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D-Rex Thursday, 13 May 2021 at 3:56pm

One thing's for sure - every single swellnet contributor will be tuning in to Ep 1!

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goofyfoot Saturday, 15 May 2021 at 8:48pm

Don’t count on that d-rex. This is a hideous sounding show

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dusty Saturday, 15 May 2021 at 8:20am

As the Celibate Rifles once mused " Thank you America".....

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Blowin Saturday, 15 May 2021 at 2:46pm
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Timmy5656 Sunday, 16 May 2021 at 9:51pm

Good tune reminds me of the hoodoo gurus circa Stone Age Romeos.

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el Sid Sunday, 16 May 2021 at 8:18pm

Payment must be after the show. The poor kiddies have got to sleep with newspapers to keep them warm.

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Spuddups Wednesday, 19 May 2021 at 5:43am

There's comedy gold in this thread. Needs to be archived in the Swellnet hall of fame.

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dpc Wednesday, 26 May 2021 at 10:27pm

turpell and slater should have a love child with some big wave wana be action hero
who constantly takes photos of himself.
then the winner of this tv show has to breed with that kid and there is the sick future of surfing.

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truebluebasher Saturday, 10 Jul 2021 at 8:21pm

Ok! So the crew are a little bit standoffish...

Dial up the Ultimate Fantasy Team surfers...
https://www.facebook.com/WSL/videos/323611346014053/

Now showcase the Ultimate Surfer Lounge merch + complimentary VIP invite to the Pool Party...

Stand back! ...Unleash the Ultimate Trailer Park Trash Tease...
No! No! ...not the slut : " I would not wanna be on a team with someone I've dated!"
Nope! ...not the kook : "I got jumped in front of...It's a cat fight!"
https://www.msn.com/en-us/tv/news/the-ultimate-surfer-exclusive-kelly-sl...

& the crew are hooked...well maybe just tbb...'say wot!'

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Dargsol Sunday, 11 Jul 2021 at 8:48am

The trailer on the ultimatesurferabc instagram page is so much worse than this preview

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Jono Monday, 12 Jul 2021 at 9:51am

Agree Dargsol, here it is in all it's glory...

thermalben's picture
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thermalben Monday, 12 Jul 2021 at 11:37am

Speechless.

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simba Monday, 12 Jul 2021 at 12:23pm

yep Ben speechless is the word..........and here we have our fearless leader Kelly endorsing this crock of horse shit.......anything for attention.....surfing as i knew it barely has a pulse now......

Blowin's picture
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Blowin Monday, 12 Jul 2021 at 1:17pm

Kelly Slater : “I was embarrassed by my participation in BayWatch. I was reluctant to do it and felt pressured into it”

Also Kelly Slater: “Welcome to Ultimate Surfer”

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Dx3 Monday, 12 Jul 2021 at 1:59pm

Mother of god what is happening..?!?! Absolutely putrid. Fuck right off every single person involved in this, there's no regaining the respect that will be lost.

Blowin's picture
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Blowin Monday, 12 Jul 2021 at 2:41pm

Whose respect?

I’m sure the people involved have found appropriate remuneration for their individual respect deficits, if they even feel to have suffered. Kelly - The GOAT - could fuck an actual, real goat live on a WSL broadcast and it’ll never diminish the respect held for his preternatural surfing ability the world over.

Do you mean the act of surfing? Pretty sure none of this has any impact on anyone beyond titters of laughter amongst ourselves. It’ll probably even serve as an ironic cultural touchstone for years to come.

Do you mean your own respect you feel amongst the community? Relax, mate. That plummeted to irretrievable lows when you started commenting on Swellnet. You should feel liberated that you literally have nothing less to lose. Embrace the suck!

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Dx3 Monday, 12 Jul 2021 at 2:53pm

Yeh righto Blowin. I'd say it's just the unnecessary need to drag this shit series further down by adding in faux-romance story-lines, but I guess that's to be expected in any reality format these days. That trailer posted above makes the show look worse than I could have imagined.

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Blowin Monday, 12 Jul 2021 at 2:59pm

Wait a minute….apologies for the remark. I’d confused you with D Rex. My mistake. Your respect remains intact.

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thermalben Saturday, 14 Aug 2021 at 6:45am

Broadway World TV has a scoop on episode 2, which is titled - I shit you not - "Caught Up in Chick Drama".

"Alliances and friendships are put to THE TEST as the 12 remaining contestants vie for the title of The Ultimate Surfer."

"With the help of big wave surfer Billy Kemper, the surfers compete in a Breathhold Buoy Race and show off their backside in this week's Wave Challenge on an all-new episode of "The Ultimate Surfer."

https://www.broadwayworld.com/bwwtv/article/Scoop-Coming-Up-on-a-New-Epi...

thermalben's picture
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thermalben Saturday, 14 Aug 2021 at 7:16am

Ah, just stumbled across the (US) ABC's most recent press release for Ultimate Surfer, issued yesterday. Of course, this is not targeted to surfers - but it's interesting to read how this show is being pitched to middle America.

-------

ABC'S 'THE ULTIMATE SURFER' IS BREAKING OUT SOME SWEET MOVES FOR SURF FANS COAST TO COAST

An Interactive Fan Experience Sponsored by Heineken(R) Featuring Cast Appearances, Surf Lessons, Live Music and Giveaways at the Santa Monica Pier; Local Surf Shops and Street Teams Dole Out Beach Gear in Southern California, New Jersey and Florida

Fans Can Enter for a Chance to Win a Trip of a Lifetime to the Exclusive World Surf League's State-of-the-Art Surf Ranch

'The Ultimate Surfer' Two-Night Premiere Hits Airwaves Aug. 23 and Aug. 24 on ABC

"The Ultimate Surfer" is giving surfing fans some sweet experiences before the series premiere this summer on ABC! This past June, ABC kicked things off at the World Surf League's Surf Ranch Pro event via an exclusive VIP lounge experience. The event took place in Lemoore, California, where the series was filmed. Invited guests were treated to authentic Hawaiian shave ice in a relaxing space that featured props from the set and an oversized art installation to enjoy while escaping the heat. Guests also received environmentally friendly Baggu gift bags featuring Ultimate Surfer branded towels and Outerknown surf wax. Series stars Kelly Slater, Joe Turpel and Malia Ward made appearances throughout the weekend.

The summer will continue to heat up when invited guests get a chance to walk down the blue carpet at the beautiful Fairmont Miramar Hotel & Bungalows in Santa Monica, California, to celebrate "The Ultimate Surfer" and "Bachelor in Paradise" premieres. The event will feature an exclusive first look at each series and include live entertainment, themed food, drinks and some tropical fun with stars from each series in attendance.

Sponsored by Heineken, the world-famous Santa Monica Pier will host "The Ultimate Surfer" adventure, a three-day pop-up experience. The weekend event will feature cast appearances, live music, daily surf lessons, a professional surfboard shaper, a silkscreen printing station, a custom Airstream photo experience, talent appearances, themed interactive games, free giveaways and much more.

In addition, for those who have dreamed of surfing the perfect waves at the Surf Ranch like the cast of ABC's "The Ultimate Surfer," The World Surf League's Ultimate Surf Ranch Experience Sweepstakes gives you the chance to make that a reality. Enter now at https://www.worldsurfleague.com/the-ultimate-surfer/sweepstakes for a shot to win the ultimate Surf Ranch experience for you and three lucky friends, complete with a one-night stay in the Surf Ranch Airstreams, new Outerknown gear, and, of course, a once-in-a-lifetime surf session. Other prizes include a Firewire surfboard and Outerknown shopping sprees. The sweepstakes, sponsored by the World Surf League, is open to legal U.S. residents, 18 and older. No purchase is necessary to enter; visit the website for official rules and full details.

Finally, ABC has teamed up with surf shops in Southern California, New Jersey and Florida to distribute free "The Ultimate Surfer" branded sunglasses, board stickers and sunscreen to fans and guests. Additionally, brand ambassadors are hitting beaches on the east and west coasts to hand out branded lip balm, sunscreen, board stickers and more to sunbathers and wave riders alike.

Get stoked for the two-night premiere of ABC's new summer series "The Ultimate Surfer," airing Monday, Aug. 23, and Tuesday, Aug. 24 (10:00-11:00 p.m. EDT), following all-new episodes of "Bachelor in Paradise." Former NFL quarterback Jesse Palmer is set to host the surf competition series with sports anchor Erin Coscarelli and the iconic voice of professional surfing Joe Turpel to serve as commentators. Eleven-time surfing world champion Kelly Slater is the lead consultant and also serves as a special correspondent.

"The Ultimate Surfer" will gather some of the world's greatest up-and-coming surfers to train and live together as they battle it out at the World Surf League's (WSL) state-of-the-art Surf Ranch in Lemoore, California, powered by Kelly Slater's human-made wave technology, in the hope of competing amongst the best athletes in the world's fastest-growing sport.

"The Ultimate Surfer" Interactive Experience, Sponsored by Heineken(R), occurs on the following dates:

THURSDAY, AUG. 12, through SATURDAY, AUG. 14

The Santa Monica Pier

11 a.m.-7 p.m. daily

"The Ultimate Surfer" Surf Shop Takeovers is taking place in the following markets while supplies last:

MONDAY, AUG. 9, through TUESDAY, AUG. 24

http://www.thefutoncritic.com/news/2021/08/13/abcs-the-ultimate-surfer-is-breaking-out-some-sweet-moves-for-surf-fans-coast-to-coast-610514/20210813abc01/

thermalben's picture
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thermalben Saturday, 14 Aug 2021 at 7:20am

The more I look, the more gold I find.

Apologies in advance.

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thermalben Tuesday, 24 Aug 2021 at 10:59am
ringmaster's picture
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ringmaster Tuesday, 24 Aug 2021 at 11:37am

Fuck!

Brilliant left field thinking! What sort of creative genius could come up with something as original and jaw droppingly clever as that???

willibutler's picture
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willibutler Tuesday, 24 Aug 2021 at 11:50am

how do we watch in Aus

zenagain's picture
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zenagain Tuesday, 24 Aug 2021 at 11:54am

With a bucket close at hand.

bluediamond's picture
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bluediamond Tuesday, 24 Aug 2021 at 4:22pm

hahahaha. Brilliant!

tubeshooter's picture
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tubeshooter Tuesday, 24 Aug 2021 at 5:00pm

Please tell me you're taking the piss willi.....

seaslug's picture
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seaslug Tuesday, 24 Aug 2021 at 4:06pm

and a loaded 44

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icandig Tuesday, 24 Aug 2021 at 6:40pm

I'm gunna watch just so I can poke shit at it. The best cringe since Jimmy Slade - apparently he had regrets but now he's back for more.

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icandig Tuesday, 24 Aug 2021 at 6:49pm

for the baywatch comments skip to 4.36

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simba Tuesday, 24 Aug 2021 at 7:02pm

just bring back Pam........from 20 years ago..........

icandig's picture
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icandig Tuesday, 24 Aug 2021 at 9:05pm

Just for you Simba.

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simba Tuesday, 24 Aug 2021 at 9:21pm

icandig......thanks mate shame she couldn't act eh,although no one cared ,....but there is one vid that was really good that was worth a watch............Academy award performance.

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icandig Tuesday, 24 Aug 2021 at 9:55pm

Care to name the co-star? Was he well.....um......cast?

thermalben's picture
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thermalben Wednesday, 25 Aug 2021 at 7:18am

So, first episode has run.

Quick scan of the internet shows a couple of positive reviews from generic TV based websites (albeit non-surfers). And, this shouldn't be surprising... despite what you think of Elo's surfing credentials, he's a skilled television businessman.

The whole reason for his appointment was to turn the WSL's biz model around, which he's trying to do.

Via Reality TV.

https://www.realityblurred.com/realitytv/2021/08/ultimate-surfer-abc-rev...
https://decider.com/2021/08/23/the-ultimate-surfer-abc-review/

Discussion on Reddit is less glowing (again, not unexpected).
https://www.reddit.com/r/surfing/comments/pa93op/the_ultimate_surfer_epi...

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thermalben Wednesday, 25 Aug 2021 at 7:48am

But.. hold the phones!

Ultimate Surfer's success won't hinge entirely around reviews. Its viewership/ratings are what will ensure Season 2 being commissioned.

And, brand new TV shows are difficult to get noticed - hence why all of the promo around Ultimate Surfer has been tied in with Bachelor in Paradise (see posts above). The TV network knows they'll get big audiences for the high profile brand, and are hoping that viewers will hang around for another hour afterwards.

Many TV series see an initial curiosity bump for the first Episode, which then quickly tails off once viewers have worked out whether they're interested or now. But if a TV show doesn't get much traction, it can sometimes be quietly yanked off-screen if it performs poorly.

And... preliminary data for Ultimate Surfer doesn't look good.

"ABC’s ‘The Ultimate Surfer’ Premiere Wipes Out in TV Ratings. And that’s with a ”Bachelor in Paradise“ lead-in".

“The Ultimate Surfer” didn’t catch much of “Bachelor in Paradise’s” ratings wave with Monday’s premiere, which received a 0.3 among adults 18-49 and just 1.46 million total viewers. In the two hours leading up to “Ultimate Surfer’s” debut, ABC averaged a 0.9 demo rating and 3.22 million overall viewers.

https://www.thewrap.com/ultimate-surfer-premiere-abc-tv-ratings/

Full stats here: https://tvseriesfinale.com/tv-show/monday-tv-ratings-the-ultimate-surfer...

bluediamond's picture
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bluediamond Wednesday, 25 Aug 2021 at 8:09am

If thats their business model, maybe they could hitch the world tour to the nude jelly wrestling tour for sustained viewership!

simba's picture
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simba Wednesday, 25 Aug 2021 at 9:03am

wow i cant believe it didnt take off.....said no one

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stunet Wednesday, 25 Aug 2021 at 9:06am

First week and the TV media has already exhausted their supply of surfing puns: 'premiere wipes out' and 'didn't catch much of a wave'.

It's all downhill from here.

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stunet Wednesday, 25 Aug 2021 at 9:09am

Lemon or not, the Woz is committed to talking about the show for the next twelve months at least. Think about it, every time the winners of the show paddle out for their heats, Joe Turpel will have to introduce them as such and then rabbit on about what a difficult process it was, how they earned their spot etc etc.

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Roker Wednesday, 25 Aug 2021 at 9:24am

The Ultimate Scenario? Despite The Ultimate Surfer brand experiencing challenges around traction in relation to its target demographic, ABC executives are so enamoured with Joe Turpel’s performance they sign him to an exclusive contract to host Bachelor in Paradise, Bachelor on a Farm etc. Due to these commitments he wii be forced to reluctantly relinquish his role as the voice of professional surfing.

thermalben's picture
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thermalben Wednesday, 25 Aug 2021 at 9:48am

More analysis on the ratings:

"ABC's latest reality effort 'The Ultimate Surfer' was a complete dud on day one, retaining just a third of its 'Bachelor in Paradise' lead-in for its premiere."
http://www.thetvratingsguide.com/2021/08/monday-tv-ratings-82321-ultimat...

"In sequence premiere news, competitors sequence “The Final Surfer” was left on the beginning gate on ABC with a mere 1.46 million viewers".
https://interreviewed.com/monday-ratings-the-ultimate-surfer-debut-is-a-...

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simba Wednesday, 25 Aug 2021 at 10:16am

possibly the best thing that could happen to surfing.....hopefully its a complete dud and all the new crew will ditch there minimals and go somewhere else.

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freeride76 Wednesday, 25 Aug 2021 at 10:23am

I see this as quite a problem for the Woz if it flops and even if it succeeds.

The UFC model that they are borrowing doesn't quite fit the current Woz feeder tour set-up.

ie a winner of the Ultimate Fighter can get a UFC contract and a fight or two and sink or swim quickly based on how well they can punch someone in the face.
There is zero harm to the credibility of the sport or organisation, and in fact, they've unearthed a lot of stars this way.

I think it's a different scenario if they start parachuting people into the CT (bypassing QS) via this reality TV show.
It makes a mockery of the QS.

If they lose the credibility of the qualifying process it might have some serious downstream ramifications.

Pretty big gamble, I reckon.

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Nick Bone Wednesday, 25 Aug 2021 at 10:47am

You taking it all too seriously. What ELo needs to do is simply shop to Comedy Central. It’ll fit in nicely there.

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thermalben Thursday, 26 Aug 2021 at 6:41am

Second episode aired last night (it's common to have the first two eps of a series shown over consecutive nights).

The total number of viewers dropped 8% from 1.43 million to 1.31 million.

The 18-49 age demographic was however up 18%.

So, older people switched off in droves, but there's a reasonable bump in younger viewers (though not enough to compensate).

For comparison, the high profile lead-in show (Bachelor in Paradise) suffered a 22% drop in total audience from Monday to Tuesday and a 29% drop in the 18-49 age demographic.

https://tvseriesfinale.com/tv-show/tuesday-tv-ratings-supergirl-bachelor...

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thermalben Thursday, 26 Aug 2021 at 3:51pm

From The Inertia: "I eagerly anticipated surfing’s treatment via ABC, and after watching the first two episodes, I’m all in. The Ultimate Surfer is brilliant. And my appreciation for the endeavor multiplies when I consider its impact from a strategic business perspective."

Apparently this guy surfs. The review reads more like a silent request for a cameo in Season 2.

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bluediamond Friday, 27 Aug 2021 at 9:12am

Don't worry about this show or the Olympics. This is where the next real threat is gonna come from. Insta influencers take over line-ups world wide.

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seaslug Friday, 27 Aug 2021 at 9:40am

Have they appeared in Byron Bay yet?

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bluediamond Friday, 27 Aug 2021 at 9:54am

They were there already when i was there last a couple of years ago. Wasn't chicks w handbags riding them though!!

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seaslug Friday, 27 Aug 2021 at 9:54am

Just looked at their website, rugged looking men and women with thigh gaps, influencers dream. And guess where the Aussie address is based

Fliteboard Pty Ltd
156 Jonson street
Byron Bay, 2481 NSW
Australia
+61 2 6694 3186

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seaslug Friday, 27 Aug 2021 at 9:55am

and less than 20k, might ask the misses to get me one for my birthday since HJ are off the menu these days

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bluediamond Friday, 27 Aug 2021 at 10:00am

hahahaha! Well what a surprise. Quick brunch at the Bayleaf followed by an electric foilboard at the Pass...lunch at Raes and then some Yoga at the lighthouse. #livingthedream

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AndyM Friday, 27 Aug 2021 at 10:01am

Mmm, thigh gaps...

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thermalben Friday, 27 Aug 2021 at 5:25pm

Doesn't take long for the pirated streams to appear!

Can't bring myself to watch it though.

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ringmaster Friday, 27 Aug 2021 at 6:01pm

Bullshit Ben!

I reckon you're lapping it up.

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simba Friday, 27 Aug 2021 at 7:12pm

yeah my thoughts too ringy,hes lapping it up ,cant wait for the new episode and the merch afterwards.....blow up kelly doll,koa figure with man bun etc......

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thermalben Wednesday, 1 Sep 2021 at 1:44pm

Stumbled across this interview on Barstool Sports (a US 'sports & pop culture blog' that's majority owned by Penn National Gaming and The Chernin Group, who also recently bought Surfline).

I've got no interest in UFC, so prior to Dana White's involvement with the WSL I didn't know much about him at all. However, turns out he's been trying to get Ultimate Surfer made for almost ten years.

The interview reveals he 'used' to surf (but at the age of 52, is now too old), and that if Ultimate Surfer gets a second season, they're going to go after "some of the best surfers in the world who aren't in the WSL, much like we did with the UFC".

More relevations (from around the 10:00 mark): "Right now the show is being heavily criticised by the hard core surf community... like the Ultimate Fighter did.. but by Season 5 we had Nate Diaz on the show.. look at how many world champions, and how many top 15 contenders and how many stars we built from the Ultimate Fighter.. if we can replicate a quarter of that in surfing, it'll be massive".

Yeah, nah.

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icandig Wednesday, 1 Sep 2021 at 2:39pm

I've been trying to come up with a witty response to this, but I'm lost for words.

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Roker Wednesday, 1 Sep 2021 at 3:52pm

I just found out the Ultimate Surfer has wrapped and the winners have already been decided. What a hoax. They make you believe that it plays out over eight weeks, literally in real time. I feel betrayed and this show has lost all credibility for me now. They take their audience for literal fools. I won't be watching anymore. Dana White and WSL - do better! I'm literally so angry.

And another thing. George Lucas and a few others could keep the secret that Obi Wan was Luke's father for over a year in 1979. But guess what WSL? It's literally not 1979 anymore. You so can't keep these earth shattering secrets in 2021. And that's what the Ultimate Surfer meant to me. As much as Star Wars. But not anymore.

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thermalben Thursday, 2 Sep 2021 at 6:11am

Episodes 3 and 4 aired this week.

Monday (Ep3) saw a minor bump in total traffic from Ep2, however the all-important 18-49 demographic dropped 12% at the same time (not sure how to interpret that - suggests a bunch of new 50+ viewers?).

Tuesday (Ep4) saw total viewers drop 13%, and the 18-49 demographic drop 33%. Not good.

https://tvseriesfinale.com/tv-show/the-ultimate-surfer-season-one-ratings/

Still early stages, but I'd be very surprised if Season 2 is commissioned on the back of this trend.

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thermalben Thursday, 23 Sep 2021 at 9:42am

Zeke Lau and Tia Blanco have been crowned winners of The Ultimate Surfer! No way... who would have guessed? You can't script this. Etc.

Anyway, turns out the Finale - episode 8 - saw the lowest ratings of the entire season, with viewership dropping to 1.139 million (debut episode was 1.43 million, average across the series was 1.28 million).

And here are its ratings against other shows in the same time slot. 'FBI: International' achieved almost six times the audience as Ultimate Surfer, 'New Amsterdam' recorded more than three times.

As a percentage of total US viewer, 10% tuned into the final episode of The Ultimate Surfer.

I'd be surprised if The Ultimate Surfer gets commissioned for Season 2.

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simba Thursday, 23 Sep 2021 at 9:48am

whats going on with her stomach........massive hernia?

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thermalben Thursday, 23 Sep 2021 at 2:31pm

And the quality post-show content doesn't stop flowing...

Californianewstimes.com wrote:

"Learn surf lingo with cast of ABC’s ‘The Ultimate Surfer’ | EXCLUSIVE"

“Dawn patrol” means catching the early morning waves. “Foam” is another common term used to describe the excitement of surfing. A “cook” is someone who is not good at something.

There are many terms that describe surfing in the barrel. For example, “get a barrel”, “drain”, “get a tube”, “hang in a greenhouse”. “Charging” means actively riding the waves.

Now let’s try the newly discovered knowledge. Try to decipher this sentence from professional surfer and correspondent Kelly Slater. “After he carved, a bubbling cook was pierced in the frame.”

https://californianewstimes.com/learn-surf-lingo-with-cast-of-abcs-the-u...

Kill me.

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tubeshooter Thursday, 23 Sep 2021 at 4:48pm

Kelly Slater said "After he carved , a bubbling cook was pierced in the frame" ?????????
Was he reading some cryptic crossword clue aloud at the time ?
I'm going to have to 'hang in the greenhouse' for a minute and mull this over.

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D-Rex Thursday, 23 Sep 2021 at 5:06pm

Spoiler alert please Benno!