“It’s how random it was….that’s what makes it so hard to make sense of.”

Toby Martin is trying to get his head around the events of last Saturday when 57-year old local Mercury Psillakis was killed by a Great White Shark at Dee Why Beach.

Like many surfers from Sydney’s Northern Beaches, Toby has spent the past week in a mix of shock, grief, and confusion.

“We hear about shark attacks and think ‘the trouble is over there, in South Australia or up at Forster,’” says Toby, “But not here. It’s so unexpected.”

It’s not quite Bondi, but Dee Why Beach is an urban beach and the stretch of sand heading north towards Long Reef only marginally less so. A collision with a wayward beginner is the likeliest threat to your health, yet locals are now trying to process something far worse and for which they’re not prepared.

Whatever angle they use to approach it, the outcome is unsettling and there are few toeholds to find respite.

“At times like this,” says Toby, “I’d usually go for a surf. It’s our place of peace, our escape, where we find solitude, where we build community.”

“But right now,” says Toby, “the surf isn’t those things.”

The feeling is that the surf took them away. 

“I live 200 metres from the beach and the other day I had to take some breaths and walk into the fear," says Toby of his first return to the surf. "But at the same time I had to tell my daughter that I’m not doing anything risky.”

During our conversation, Toby is talking to me but at times it feels like he’s having an out-loud discussion with himself. Wrestling with his thoughts, with ways to move forward when nothing is comforting, and it hits me that every Dee Why and Longy local will be going through the same tumult.

Worse yet is thinking about Mike Psillakis, Merc’s identical twin, but as the father of identical twins myself that thought is too much to bear and I have to block it out. There but for the grace of God…

“It’s amazing when you’re surfing,” continues Toby, “and turtles pop up, or dolphins, schools of fish.”

“Maybe we can’t be selective about what parts of nature we enjoy,” wonders Toby as he continues wrestling with questions beyond our remit.

“We’re a stoic bunch,” says Tobes of the Dee Why surf community, “but right now there are tough guys saying they’re not handling this very well.”

So on Thursday a bunch of locals circled the wagons. Matt Grainger did breathwork therapy, Scotty Romain played the didg, and showing immense fortitude Mike Psillakis spoke about his brother and how they should all be grateful for life because no-one is promised a tomorrow.

Meanwhile, Dee Why Surf Fraternity, who would normally have their monthly pointscore today, have cancelled it and instead they’re holding counselling sessions.

In surfing terms, the gathering of the tribe usually refers to a celebration but Toby and other local elders realise the tribe has other duties too. The least of which is to build each other up again and restore their surfing community.

RIP Mercury Psillakis

- Stu

(The Flyer is Swellnet's weekend newsletter)