The Australian national surf team unveils its new name

Stu Nettle
Swellnet Dispatch

While it doesn't roll of the tongue as nimbly as 'Kangaroos' or even 'Socceroos', the national surf team has today unveiled its new name - the Irukandjis.

If you're scratching your head right now, the Irukandji is an extremely venomous species of box jellyfish. In fact, it's both the smallest and most deadly species of jellyfish in the world.

The latter quality is what made it so appealing to Surfing Australia.

"They pack a serious punch, just like our Australian surfers in the water”, said Surfing Australia CEO, Chris Mater, of the name Australia’s surf team will take to the Tokyo Olympics this July.

Irukandji are only found on the coast of far northern Queensland, inside the placid waters of the Great Barrier Reef. When exposed to waves, Irukandji jellyfish fall to pieces.

Read the press release here.

Comments

Hall of Lame's picture
Hall of Lame's picture
Hall of Lame Wednesday, 17 Mar 2021 at 5:50pm

Seriously?
Why not something even more appealing like:
The Howling Onshores
The One Foot Slops
The Close Outs

bluediamond's picture
bluediamond's picture
bluediamond Wednesday, 17 Mar 2021 at 8:12pm

hahahaha. Gold!

JackStance's picture
JackStance's picture
JackStance Wednesday, 17 Mar 2021 at 11:09pm

The Irukandjis name was generously gifted to Surfing Australia by the local Yirrganydji people of North Queensland, driven by the efforts of Indigenous athlete and former World Tour surfer, Soli Bailey.

'Too Deadly' I reckon.

JackStance's picture
JackStance's picture
JackStance Wednesday, 17 Mar 2021 at 11:30pm

Where's Owen?

Smell's picture
Smell's picture
Smell Thursday, 18 Mar 2021 at 11:12am

I've been cringing since the socceroos, the best are at the wheel for sure.

Fliplid's picture
Fliplid's picture
Fliplid Wednesday, 17 Mar 2021 at 6:13pm

This has got more than a hint of Ding Alley about it

JM's picture
JM's picture
JM Wednesday, 17 Mar 2021 at 6:27pm

Is it April 1 already?!

blackers's picture
blackers's picture
blackers Wednesday, 17 Mar 2021 at 6:31pm

Oh dear, what were they thinking?

Fatso's picture
Fatso's picture
Fatso Wednesday, 17 Mar 2021 at 6:51pm

Twaddle...Irukandji are not even restricted to Australian waters. So our national surf team is named after something not particularly Australian, that "falls apart in waves"??? Why not call 'em the feral cats...a freaking ecological nightmare that hates water.

JackStance's picture
JackStance's picture
JackStance Wednesday, 17 Mar 2021 at 11:03pm

hahahaaaaaa

Westofthelake's picture
Westofthelake's picture
Westofthelake Wednesday, 17 Mar 2021 at 6:53pm

A tiny killer jellyfish that lives in waters devoid of surf. (Scratches head)

How about,
Surfaroos? Waveroos? Ripparoos? or the public favourite, Team Surfie Mcsurf face?

zenagain's picture
zenagain's picture
zenagain Wednesday, 17 Mar 2021 at 7:02pm

How about the 'Green and Golden Trevally's'?

simba's picture
simba's picture
simba Wednesday, 17 Mar 2021 at 7:15pm

or the 'Blurters'

dr-surf's picture
dr-surf's picture
dr-surf Wednesday, 17 Mar 2021 at 7:25pm

The Sharks.

gavin007's picture
gavin007's picture
gavin007 Wednesday, 17 Mar 2021 at 7:26pm

So how do you pronounce it?

lost's picture
lost's picture
lost Wednesday, 17 Mar 2021 at 7:36pm

I got sucked in with ding alleys last master piece - I’m. Not getting sucked in twice. It has to be satire.

sean killen's picture
sean killen's picture
sean killen Wednesday, 17 Mar 2021 at 7:41pm

The seagulls.. the old chips floggers from oz

Gra Murdoch's picture
Gra Murdoch's picture
Gra Murdoch Wednesday, 17 Mar 2021 at 7:47pm

Go the mighty Wobbegongs!

Remigogo's picture
Remigogo's picture
Remigogo Wednesday, 17 Mar 2021 at 7:48pm

Plenty of land based teams called the sharks..

May I go left field here and scoot through to say that I kinda really like the Irukandjis.

(I am lazy on researching)

Gra Murdoch's picture
Gra Murdoch's picture
Gra Murdoch Wednesday, 17 Mar 2021 at 7:48pm

Hope I'm wrong but I suspect they'll be the Irucan'tdiis

stunet's picture
stunet's picture
stunet Wednesday, 17 Mar 2021 at 7:53pm

To be fair, there's not much fauna left to choose from:

Australian national sports team nicknames

Bustard's picture
Bustard's picture
Bustard Thursday, 18 Mar 2021 at 8:55am

Can you imagine the accolades and back slaps you would get from your mates at the pub when you told them you made the Wombats Fistball team..........

garyg1412's picture
garyg1412's picture
garyg1412 Thursday, 18 Mar 2021 at 10:07am

At least the Fed Cup tennis team name is relevant when Tomic and Kyrgios are in it.

velocityjohnno's picture
velocityjohnno's picture
velocityjohnno Thursday, 18 Mar 2021 at 4:55pm

For any WA teams disappointed all the names have been taken, might I suggest the Honey Possums?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honey_possum

"The testes are very large in size, noted as proportionally the greatest for a mammal at 4.6 percent of the body weight."

Perfect for the underdog team with no shortage of courage.

thehuta's picture
thehuta's picture
thehuta Saturday, 20 Mar 2021 at 11:41am

Agree!

Not sure why we are so prejudiced towards fauna... or even flora. The only team mineral I can think of is the opals. It’s time we started naming more teams after minerals. It’s bound to highlight the nations rich and varied resources and help with exports.

Im thinking chrysotile (the mineral which asbestos comes from) or uraninite for starters

Solitude's picture
Solitude's picture
Solitude Wednesday, 17 Mar 2021 at 7:56pm

I only recognise 3 of that crew?

Australian ‘Salties’

rooftop's picture
rooftop's picture
rooftop Wednesday, 17 Mar 2021 at 7:58pm

- Alright guys, we need a team name for the most successful surfing nation of all time.

- How about something small, weak and toxic?

- Excellent. Get me a shortlist by lunchtime. Oh, and make sure it's flimsy - maybe even see-through. I want these things to be like a poisonous used tissue or something.

- You got it!

Jono's picture
Jono's picture
Jono Wednesday, 17 Mar 2021 at 8:03pm

Uluroos. Surely I win?

Remigogo's picture
Remigogo's picture
Remigogo Wednesday, 17 Mar 2021 at 8:10pm

Uluroos has got to be the winning name for an international big wave aussie contingent.

bluediamond's picture
bluediamond's picture
bluediamond Wednesday, 17 Mar 2021 at 8:11pm

Hahaha. You're kidding me. I just checked the date....and it's only late March. Kidding right!?

goofyfoot's picture
goofyfoot's picture
goofyfoot Wednesday, 17 Mar 2021 at 8:20pm

Has sally thrown the most shaka’s in the history of shaka throwing? Every single freaken photo she’s just chucking it out there!
Ha ha I love it!

lostdoggy's picture
lostdoggy's picture
lostdoggy Wednesday, 17 Mar 2021 at 8:40pm

Why not the e.colis?
Also small and potentially deadly, survives in surf zones and cold water such as Japan, and makes for an explosive performance with plenty of squirt.

Nick Bone's picture
Nick Bone's picture
Nick Bone Wednesday, 17 Mar 2021 at 8:51pm

The hooded plovers? Or perhaps that’s more for the endangered surfers of wozzleland.

D-Rex's picture
D-Rex's picture
D-Rex Wednesday, 17 Mar 2021 at 9:07pm

The Stone(d) Fish?

Blowin's picture
Blowin's picture
Blowin Wednesday, 17 Mar 2021 at 9:06pm

The Blind Mullets

nbindi's picture
nbindi's picture
nbindi Wednesday, 17 Mar 2021 at 9:18pm

When exposed to waves, Irukandji jellyfish fall to pieces.

bluediamond's picture
bluediamond's picture
bluediamond Wednesday, 17 Mar 2021 at 10:11pm

The Covids. May as well. Can't be any worse.

Spuddups's picture
Spuddups's picture
Spuddups Thursday, 18 Mar 2021 at 4:39am

When I read the title of this article I thought it was about surfing while on the unemployment benefit.

suchas's picture
suchas's picture
suchas Thursday, 18 Mar 2021 at 7:44am

SpitTheWinkles??

Craig's picture
Craig's picture
Craig Thursday, 18 Mar 2021 at 7:59am

Haha.

Sheep go to heaven's picture
Sheep go to heaven's picture
Sheep go to heaven Thursday, 18 Mar 2021 at 8:00am

Bondi Cigars ..... ;)

san Guine's picture
san Guine's picture
san Guine Thursday, 18 Mar 2021 at 8:48am

The Bronzed Bogans?

Roker's picture
Roker's picture
Roker Thursday, 18 Mar 2021 at 9:36am

I reckon that t-shirt needs a name. Yikes! Continuing a proud history of elegant Aussie sporting and Olympic uniforms anyhow. I suppose there's not much you can do with green and gold, but less is more would be a good starting point.

https://www.jerseys.com.au/products/socceroos-spew-jersey?variant=283862...

truebluebasher's picture
truebluebasher's picture
truebluebasher Thursday, 18 Mar 2021 at 12:48pm

(Huey's Drug Mules) have yet to push their stash onto Oz Gromz or Golden shower Gromz in stickerz.
Newcastle is Team Oz first public meet'n'greet since unsportsmanlike Olympic Pipe Bombing Tragedy.

IOC Coates expects his Irukandjis to harness their fully vaxed superpowers ..."by June at the latest".
https://www.espn.com.au/olympics/story/_/id/30961365/tokyo-2020-not-make...
TGA: AstraZeneca rollout is a 12 week double dose regime in order to be vaccinated against covid.
(Drug cheats > 4 -12 week AZ -2nd dose) is strictly reserved for chemo > Severely ill cases (Only)
https://www.skynews.com.au/details/_6232525969001

IOC : "Athletes are not required to vax & Athletes must not queue jump to get a vaccinated!"

AZ - Rollout Day 1 was March 8
Oz AZ Drug Mules Olympic Ideal Drug run was Feb 28 at the latest to meet Coates' by June deadline.

Coates : Dreamed up 2 excuses for Olympic Ideal Drug Cheats to fool World Anti Doping Agency.

1) Irukandjis Board Bagz were stuffed with dirty pre batch AZ contraband at 28th Feb' Airport bust.
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2021/feb/28/australias-astrazeneca-vac...
2) 2b VIP's Alley Oop'd > 2a > 1b ( For a 1a Cock Pit Pfizer fix to power up our Irukandjis by June! )

Essential Irukandjis are labelled #1 Olympic Ideal Drug Cheats even before unpacking their board bags.

WSL Starky hits fever pitch :
"Hey Gromz...A big cheer for Huey's Drug Mules...just grab a WSL sticker & yer your first hit is for free."

[News]
Huey's drug cheats the Irukandjis set off 4 anaphylactic shock Tsunamis that wipeout Tokyo Olympics

PS:
Official Team Australia Beach Wear Merch...(Note Surfers can't march in the opening ceremony!)
https://scontent.fbne5-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/69343683_253831628285726...
So Irukandjis proudly model Official Olympic Surfboard/s plastered with "Fake Olympic Sponsors"
https://content.api.news/v3/images/bin/e7b59065603aa3bb8f40ed541ea51480
Has Olympics just Sold Out...(Anyone?)
All now know the obvious reason why Surfing was welcomed into the Olympic family...

Day 1 Huey's Drug Mules droppin' in on vax queues with an unlicensed drug importation vessel.
Strike 3 is Super Sally's sleight of hand covering her Shorts Logo...(nice)
Are surfers plastering stickerz over the Olympic ideal or is this a cry for help Rebel Tour Wipeout Promo.
Either way our Irukandjis are likely to cop an Olympic sized Lay Daze until after Chopes Olympics.
Look away Gromz ...Goodvibes is in the line-Up...hurry & Paddle Battle to raise the [f] Alarm.

swellnet's exclusive Olympic Sized Timeline
https://www.swellnet.com/forums/wax/473911

hirsute's picture
hirsute's picture
hirsute Thursday, 18 Mar 2021 at 12:19pm

Hall of Lame. Awesome band names you mind if I use em?

savanova's picture
savanova's picture
savanova Thursday, 18 Mar 2021 at 12:30pm

There is always Bastard Trumpeter, Butchers Prick, Mother-in-Law, Swallowtail & Happy Moments to choose from.

Redmond Clement's picture
Redmond Clement's picture
Redmond Clement Thursday, 18 Mar 2021 at 1:49pm

Ospreys works for me not sure if seaslug would agree.

seaslug's picture
seaslug's picture
seaslug Thursday, 18 Mar 2021 at 1:58pm

Works for me RC but what about "The Euro's" just to add confusion

sypkan's picture
sypkan's picture
sypkan Friday, 19 Mar 2021 at 12:40am

the contemporay marketing guru / PR obsessivenes has oficially reached peak useless parasite

Im calling a review and revoke to follow

...following a string of big dollar marketing proposal rejections that have been met with an appropriate response of... yeh nah...

this ain't even a 'yeh nah' ...its a mouthful of coffee spluttuering... pppffffffffff...

WarriSymbol's picture
WarriSymbol's picture
WarriSymbol Thursday, 18 Mar 2021 at 2:14pm

Are most of the suggestions here team names or band names?

Pops's picture
Pops's picture
Pops Thursday, 18 Mar 2021 at 2:54pm

Surely it had to be the (Bob) Hawkes

Bob Hawke Surf Team's picture
Bob Hawke Surf Team's picture
Bob Hawke Surf Team Friday, 19 Mar 2021 at 11:59am

Hear, hear.

Bob Hawke Surf Team's picture
Bob Hawke Surf Team's picture
Bob Hawke Surf Team Friday, 19 Mar 2021 at 12:02pm

Hear, hear.

thermalben's picture
thermalben's picture
thermalben Friday, 19 Mar 2021 at 12:45pm

Heard you the first time, Bob. Hearing aid must have fallen out.

Lanky Dean's picture
Lanky Dean's picture
Lanky Dean Sunday, 21 Mar 2021 at 1:49am

LOL

Sprout's picture
Sprout's picture
Sprout Thursday, 18 Mar 2021 at 3:20pm

Who are the other 3?

velocityjohnno's picture
velocityjohnno's picture
velocityjohnno Thursday, 18 Mar 2021 at 4:28pm

The Drop Bears
(Thylacoleo Carnifex)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thylacoleo_carnifex

"The marsupial lion's limb proportions and muscle mass distribution indicate that, although it was a powerful animal, it was not a particularly fast runner. Paleontologists conjecture that it was an ambush predator, either sneaking up and then leaping upon its prey, or dropping down on it from overhanging tree branches (a behaviour that may have been preserved in tribal memory and been the original inspiration for the fictional drop bear animal)"

jshe35's picture
jshe35's picture
jshe35 Thursday, 18 Mar 2021 at 8:16pm

What about 'Chrome Dome and the Gilmore Girls'(and boys and LGBTQII and their supporters and their supporters.... and their supporters ad infinitum)

crg's picture
crg's picture
crg Thursday, 18 Mar 2021 at 10:13pm

Sports names peaked with the New Zealand men’s badminton team...The Black Cocks

freeride76's picture
freeride76's picture
freeride76 Friday, 19 Mar 2021 at 8:17am

Who are the two guys on the outside of the team?

Gra Murdoch's picture
Gra Murdoch's picture
Gra Murdoch Friday, 19 Mar 2021 at 8:44am

Think it's Harley Ingleby on the right?

stunet's picture
stunet's picture
stunet Friday, 19 Mar 2021 at 12:10pm

As Gra said, Harley far right.

Matt Formston at left, paralympic surfer - blind, 5% vision.

Shakira Westdorp next to him, who's ISA SUP champ.

Gra Murdoch's picture
Gra Murdoch's picture
Gra Murdoch Friday, 19 Mar 2021 at 8:47am

I reckon that's a reflex shaka Sal's throwing. Looks like they were instructed not to, here, but Sal's done so many she probably wasn't aware she was shaka-ing.

Bob Hawke Surf Team's picture
Bob Hawke Surf Team's picture
Bob Hawke Surf Team Friday, 19 Mar 2021 at 12:05pm

Serial Shaka-er-er-a for sure!

ryder's picture
ryder's picture
ryder Friday, 19 Mar 2021 at 1:10pm

Sal can throw all the shaka's she likes, just as long as I don't have to listen to that grating voice of hers.

Stef_Olly's picture
Stef_Olly's picture
Stef_Olly Friday, 19 Mar 2021 at 1:00pm

Thanks for the clean out laugh reading these comments legends! Hahaaa!!

stunet's picture
stunet's picture
stunet Friday, 19 Mar 2021 at 1:03pm

From Otis Carey:

 

Pops's picture
Pops's picture
Pops Friday, 19 Mar 2021 at 1:14pm

Pricks.

D-Rex's picture
D-Rex's picture
D-Rex Saturday, 20 Mar 2021 at 9:43am

'exploitation' my arse...do indigenous people a favour and stop trying to find ways to portray them as 'victims' FFS.

Redmond Clement's picture
Redmond Clement's picture
Redmond Clement Friday, 19 Mar 2021 at 3:02pm

Dust off the blue koala, A shape shifting occy maybe. But not a spineless drifter.

Liney's picture
Liney's picture
Liney Friday, 19 Mar 2021 at 5:08pm

Kanga and PT must have wanted to much in royalties for for use of “The Bronzed Aussies”.

billythekid's picture
billythekid's picture
billythekid Saturday, 20 Mar 2021 at 8:11am

how about just calling them The Australian Surfing Team? Do they have to have a dumb name?

Simon Ashford's picture
Simon Ashford's picture
Simon Ashford Saturday, 20 Mar 2021 at 11:38am

Agreed.

peter brown's picture
peter brown's picture
peter brown Saturday, 20 Mar 2021 at 8:58am

Hard to fear any sporting team called the Socceroos, Wallaroos or Jillaroos....just plain embarrassing....

MrBrown's picture
MrBrown's picture
MrBrown Saturday, 20 Mar 2021 at 11:13am

This is a joke isn't it ?
Glad I'm not involved cringeworthy embarrassment.
Rooftops got it right , a name to strike fear into the opponents ahaha.
Vote 1 Billythekid

Simon Ashford's picture
Simon Ashford's picture
Simon Ashford Saturday, 20 Mar 2021 at 11:34am

Why not The Blue Bottles? Honestly... Davo from marketing. This shit isn't that hard.

cgrover's picture
cgrover's picture
cgrover Monday, 22 Mar 2021 at 8:23am

ScoMo wanted Waveseekers