Dane Reynolds is smarter than you

Stu Nettle
Surfpolitik

Yesterday, everyone's favourite surfer, Dane Reynolds, withdrew from everyone's favourite competition, Teahupoo.

As expected the internet instantly lit up with rumours, vitriol and innuendo. Personal advice for Dane was free and forthcoming ('If Dane doesn't want to compete he shouldn't have to') as was business advice from Quiksilver's corporate sympathisers ('He's getting paid by Quiksilver so he should compete'). Shareholders unite!

Was Dane about to quit? Bored of competition, ready to hit the dusty highway with his crayons and Super 8 in tow? No-one knew and the mystery only heightened the speculation.

The answer to Dane's Teahupoo no-show seems far simpler than anyone has yet suggested. 

The answer, it seems, is that there is no point in Dane turning up. He is currently coming last on the World Tour ratings with three injuries and a no-show at J-Bay. No matter how well he performs on the final two events before the cut-off - Teahupoo and New York - he will get bumped. However, he is sitting at 14th on the One World rankings and is a certainty to qualify via that route.

The One World rankings are based upon the last twelve months of results so his Round 4 finish at the 2010 Billabong Pro Teahupoo still counts (at least until this years comp runs). Dane had a stellar back end on the 2010 World Tour with semi-final finishes at Trestles and Pipe, plus a quarter-final finish at Puerto Rico. Therefore it is unlikely that he will drop far below 14th. As said, he is a certainty to stay on tour even by staying at home. 

So while the rest of the tour pack their suitcases for Tahiti he can shoot clips for Marine Layer and train for New York. You can guarantee he will show at that comp, not just because Quiksilver are sponsoring it but also because three no-shows in a row would get him suspended from the tour.

Like I said, Dane Reynolds is smarter than you.

PS: Credit must go to Swellnet commenter 'Lusito' for the tip off. Dane Reynolds, you see, is smarter than me too.

Bobby Blows It - Bobby Martinez is another Tahitian no-show

Comments

surfa87's picture
surfa87's picture
surfa87 Wednesday, 17 Aug 2011 at 2:57am

does it really matter about the tour anymore? free surfing is where all the innovative stuff is happening, the tours good to watch but i dont care for who wins really.... dane, ry clark, jay davies and a host of other free surfers are livn the dream and can do what they want....

prg1972's picture
prg1972's picture
prg1972 Wednesday, 17 Aug 2011 at 3:45am

Reynolds working the system. Ha ha...well done to him. It wouldve been great to see him at Teahupoo but you've got to admire his moxy for this manouevre.

the-spleen_2's picture
the-spleen_2's picture
the-spleen_2 Wednesday, 17 Aug 2011 at 3:49am

Wonder of the ASP will shore up the system so this cant be done in the future. It seems a glaring gap having one set of rankings based on the calendar year and the other based on a twelve month span. It's ripe for exploiying.

the-spleen_2's picture
the-spleen_2's picture
the-spleen_2 Wednesday, 17 Aug 2011 at 3:49am

exploiting

blasphemy-rottmouth's picture
blasphemy-rottmouth's picture
blasphemy-rottmouth Wednesday, 17 Aug 2011 at 4:01am

I like that you have a take and aren't just pasting an ASP release "Not The Stu From Inertia." Yet I'm not ready to bite.

Not sure how a surfer of Daynold's caliber just passes on a chance to surf J-Bay and Chopes with only one other fella out, even at half mast, in favor of staying in Ventura and surfing blown out beachbreaks.

But there could be "other" motives for staying home.

Perhaps there will be stories written about that one day? Hopefully with a happy ending.

blasphemy-rottmouth's picture
blasphemy-rottmouth's picture
blasphemy-rottmouth Wednesday, 17 Aug 2011 at 4:03am

No... not THAT "happy ending" you pervs. Goodness gracious.

freeride76's picture
freeride76's picture
freeride76 Wednesday, 17 Aug 2011 at 4:06am

Well, he's playing a dane-gerous game.

The public are a fickle beast and they can be savage when they feel they are being played for fools.

freeride76's picture
freeride76's picture
freeride76 Wednesday, 17 Aug 2011 at 4:08am

..." ......and train for New York."

Got any confirmation of that.....or even that he intends to stay on Tour?

Seems like that ambivalence he kept expressing on Tour really was genuine and he wasn't just sandbagging.

stunet's picture
stunet's picture
stunet Wednesday, 17 Aug 2011 at 4:11am

Fuck, you're onto me Blasphemy! It's all cloak and daggers today. And bad puns too if you read Freeride's first line.

..."Not sure how a surfer of Daynold's caliber just passes on a chance to surf J-Bay and Chopes with only one other fella out"...

How much do the pros really like travelling to compete? Day in, day out, year after year. Sure it's better than a desk job, but I reckon a break every now and again - you know to scribble on some shirts and take overexposed photos on an old camera - is good for the soul.

stunet's picture
stunet's picture
stunet Wednesday, 17 Aug 2011 at 4:13am

Freeride,

I guess the theory won't be proven till NY rolls around. But I've read a few things recently - well, one thing - where he expressed gratitude for being on tour. Didn't sound at all like a jaded burn out.

Think it was in Stab...?

freeride76's picture
freeride76's picture
freeride76 Wednesday, 17 Aug 2011 at 4:27am

NY is a given....the Quik exec made it quite clear Dane will be there.....we can speculate that it is written into the contract and feel fairly safe.

As for the rest......he may feel content to dabble at his leisure......and then the question is : would the ASP have the balls to kick him off Tour or force a committment.

stunet's picture
stunet's picture
stunet Wednesday, 17 Aug 2011 at 4:32am

The ASP already have measures in place. He got fined $2500 for missing J'Bay, he'll get fined $5000 for missing Chopes and if a surfer misses three contests in a row they get suspended for three more contests.

But as we said, he won't miss New York because of sponsor obligations.

freeride76's picture
freeride76's picture
freeride76 Wednesday, 17 Aug 2011 at 4:38am

Not to be contrary but $7500 for Dane is the chump change he has wedged in his couch from takeaway pizza.

It's hardly a deterrent.

.

stunet's picture
stunet's picture
stunet Wednesday, 17 Aug 2011 at 4:43am

No, it isn't, but he has been penalised so they can't spring anything else on him. As someone mentioned above, it'll be interesting to see if the ASP fixes the system.

pster's picture
pster's picture
pster Wednesday, 17 Aug 2011 at 12:09pm

The poor fella, having to travel to exotic locations and surf the worlds best waves sounds absolutely terrible..... Yeah, I'd need a break from that too.

I really hope he is just a good bloke who doesn't like the spotlight, but it really seems like the guy has no appreciation for what the universe has gifted him.

So he can afford to pay the penalties for missing events with the change in his back pocket? Good on him. Why not just go to the event, treat it like a free surf, get paid and give the money to charity?

Maybe it's all a ruse to hide the fact that he hates losing?

z-man's picture
z-man's picture
z-man Wednesday, 17 Aug 2011 at 10:33pm

What happens if they have a contest and none of the contestants show up.

Would they let the locals replace everyone and hold an impromtu contest? After all, there all set up for it!

That would be news.

Dane? no news there!

blasphemy-rottmouth's picture
blasphemy-rottmouth's picture
blasphemy-rottmouth Thursday, 18 Aug 2011 at 12:14am

@Z-Man,

That would be Atlas Shrugging.

z-man's picture
z-man's picture
z-man Thursday, 18 Aug 2011 at 1:30am

I would pay to see a no-contest!

scoopmaster's picture
scoopmaster's picture
scoopmaster Thursday, 18 Aug 2011 at 2:47am

if it was me i'd rather cop a fine for refusing to paddle out in a heat when the surf is blown out onshore sheite or pathetically small and weak ( say like a couple of the J-Bay heats, or the US open ) than not travel to somewhere like tahiti with the prospect of some epic barrels. It's been quite a while since i was a stoked teenage grom, and you could not pay me enough to paddle out in 2 foot slop!

z-man's picture
z-man's picture
z-man Thursday, 18 Aug 2011 at 3:14am

Bobby to join Dane, but says he is quitting!

stunet's picture
stunet's picture
stunet Friday, 19 Aug 2011 at 2:38am

Photos of Dane surfing Typhoon Muifa in Japan: http://www.surfdayz.jp/surfreport/2011/0730-2741.html

donweather's picture
donweather's picture
donweather Friday, 19 Aug 2011 at 6:13am

I see that was a quad he was ridin too. How's that cuttie.....trademark Dane written all over that.

tip-top1's picture
tip-top1's picture
tip-top1 Friday, 19 Aug 2011 at 6:26am

thats a hoyo cuttie if i ever saw one ,bullshit !!!!

smeeagain's picture
smeeagain's picture
smeeagain Friday, 19 Aug 2011 at 8:13am

I don't know if Dane ever enjoyed surfing contests. It's such a different trip from free surfing. BUT been one of the great free surfers in the world, losing must be really hard to take. I'm sure Dave Rastovich has been down this road.
Has it occured to anyone that perhapes not everybody wants to surf macking Teahupoo including above ledgends.

pitching_lip's picture
pitching_lip's picture
pitching_lip Wednesday, 24 Aug 2011 at 4:10am

Dane is smarter...mmm....perhaps seppo's are just a smarter strain of human? Check out this product below; while we are still slicing / grating ours - the seps have been moving forward and been spraying it for years.......fckn evolution man or what;

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Easy_Cheese

Perhaps they can run the Easy Cheese Cup just prior to the Quick in New York - But like a Von Zip to the Bong Chopes.......

And before you think about it - I just took out the patent for spray on wax......its called Squirt.........

batfink_and_karate's picture
batfink_and_karate's picture
batfink_and_karate Wednesday, 24 Aug 2011 at 5:15am

Perhaps seppos are just a smarter strain of human.

hhmmm. Don't know how to take that. It's either from an Aussie who does get irony, or from a seppo who doesn't!????????????

And then citing spray on cheese as a fckn revolution. Revolution in bad taste I can only assume. I nearly hurled my lunch just reading about it. You would have to be a yank to like that, as any Australian who has been brought up eating cheese other than Coon would never go near any yankee crap cheese.

Certainly pitching lip wins todays award for the redundant apostrophe.

alakaboo's picture
alakaboo's picture
alakaboo Wednesday, 24 Aug 2011 at 11:59am

B&K, there is such a thing as sprayon meat...
Google isn't helping back me up, I have an old fashioned photo lying in a box somewhere.

hovercraft's picture
hovercraft's picture
hovercraft Wednesday, 24 Aug 2011 at 10:25pm

Dane has flash in pan written all over him.He is awesome, pretends not to care, has money in trunks but when he is 50 and people say "Hey your Dane Reynolds you used to rip" their next sentence will be about Slater, Curren, Richards and others....and it will shit him no matter how much cash and faded cred he has. Full on Matt Johnson...."that aint no Hodad squid lips, thats Dane Reynolds".

He should look at Curren as a role model (Slater turns everybody off with his pro Tennis approach, yeah I know he missed 1 event for waves in Fiji but he has 10 titles and should bugger off now) and ask Occy why he fought so hard to come back to the tour. Typical freakin Gen Y if you ask me. Oh yeah you didnt.

awasht's picture
awasht's picture
awasht Thursday, 8 Sep 2011 at 3:53am

Looks like he didn't make it to NY.. But i hear he has a valid reason this time. (broken rib)

stunet's picture
stunet's picture
stunet Thursday, 8 Sep 2011 at 4:05am

Nah, he got to NY but withdrew just before the heat began. By doing this he circumvented the three contest suspension he would've incurred if he just didn't show up.