Don’t call it a comeback

Blowin's picture
Blowin started the topic in Monday, 9 Dec 2019 at 3:17pm

Surfers are athletes.

Chiselled gods with preternatural levels of fitness , effortless ability and aesthetic beauty. Refined instruments of aquatic grace to a man or woman.

Everyone knows this to be incontrovertibly true.

So why are my boardies so tight ?

Unfortunately, the image of the stereotypical surfer fails to address the slightly grotesque reality of those wave riders who’ve regrettably misplaced their abdominal muscles under an unsightly layer of pudge. Of course there’s never an acceptable excuse for letting your physique and therefore your health deteriorate, but mitigating factors aren’t too far away for many crew.

Excessive work responsibilities , familial obligations, injury , location, failing motivation , depression and illness are amongst the varied reasons why you’d wake up one day and find the stomach verandah is extending over the tool shed below the belt.

Then there’s the other reasons for losing condition , many of which I’ve explored extensively....love of food or drink , laziness, apathy amongst them. Some crew are all about hedonism and indulgence - admirable traits in moderation- but when you start to realise that your spirit animal is neither the dynamic dolphin nor the potent puma , but is actually more likely to be the golden labrador fixatedly staring at the kitchen from its spot on the lounge , or that your patron is Saint Occhilupo of the Rubbery Girth then you’d best keep an eye on your waistline.

My lifestyle, body type and inclinations find me constantly yo-yoing in weight and fitness. Sometimes I’m lean , strong and capable . Other times I’m chubby , weak and slack. The ceaseless cycle of peak and trough , top and bottom which seems to be my lot in this world.

Right now I’m on the resurgence. A dedicated program to ascend to the lofty heights of my personal mediocrity. As usual I had to bottom out before the turnaround......such is life. As I’ve embarked on this project of renewal I’ve had reason to realise that I’m in no way on my own in this situation and that some crew may not know how to halt their decent into dicreptitude , may not truly realise the pitfalls of not arresting the decline or may just need a bit of inspiration to get up off the floor and rediscover the ability to own their destiny.

So here it is ....Blowin’s guide to exiting the world of the fat bastard.

Your health is the most valuable asset you possess. Being fat or out of shape has repercussions ranging far beyond looking bad in a wetsuit *. Without your health and physicality you are hugely diminished. You cant enjoy activities with your loved ones .You can’t earn a living. You DIE ....which is bad. Being sick or infirm can be hugely expensive.

Surfing is a gift for getting fit. The key to getting stronger is in your hands.

And the best way to get fit in my eyes is to treat it like you would any other issue of overwhelming priority. Do it properly Treat the act like an investment in yourself .

Step 1/ Find a location with a good , consistent wave within easy access from accomodation and go there immediately. It doesn’t have to be the best wave in the world , just somewhere that you can basically surf everyday and for all day if possible. Somewhere you can amass a high wave count and expend a lot of energy day after day , irrespective of time , tide or wind conditions. Sound impossible? It’s not at all when you start looking.

Step 2/ Go there on your own. Sounds boring / sad / lonely , right ? Who gives a fuck .... you’re here to get fit , not go on a bucks party or to laze around gossiping whilst getting back rubs.

Solo means focus and no distractions . It means you aren’t likely to find a beer shoved in your hand at lunch and you won’t be waking up the next day hungover, having to again start from scratch after you’ve decided to reward yourselves following a taxing surf. You want single , bloody-minded purpose. This ain’t meant to be fun , it’s meant to be a second chance before you fall over the edge into the void of the perpetual fatfuck.

And a bit of silence and time for contemplation never hurt anyone.

Step 3/ Make it fun ! Yeah , yeah , I know what I just said , but If you’ve chosen your destination correctly, you’ll be surfing better within days. Weight falls off quickly with the right diet and regular exercise and your resurgent strength, agility and range of motion will increase your surfing ability and therefore your enjoyment of the act. Watch surf movies between sessions. Take this moment to immerse yourself completely in surfing . Do it for your loved ones ....the fitter you are , the healthier you’ll be and your time together will be maximised .

Step 4/ Eat clean . The eating part is hard if you aren’t clued up in healthy eating. Research good eating habits , but it’s basically lots of fruit , veggies , quality protein and as much unprocessed foods as possible. Completely unprocessed is best.

Choice of destination will be influenced by availability of good , fresh , healthy food. Some places have a diet which is inherently healthier.

Step 5/ Don’t drink. Full stop. Alcohol distorts your body well out of proportion of it’s excessive and unnecessary calorific value .It bloats , poisons and ruins for much longer than just the time it takes to piss out of your body. There is a condition known colloquially as Pub Face whereby the cheeks bloat , the jowls sag , the eyes dull and bag whilst the chin seems to breed multiples of itself.

You don’t want to have Pub Face.

Step 5/ Don’t stop moving. Move your body as much as possible. Wake early after a good nights sleep and just .....GO ! Walk to check the surf. Surf . Walk somewhere else . Surf . Climb a hill . Do push-ups . Surf . Walk somewhere else . Do yoga . Run ....you get it ?

From waking to sleeping, just keep moving. Doesn’t have to be flat out all the time , just don’t stop.

Surfs small or shit ? Go out anyway for a paddle . Or swim the lineup. Just keep moving....

Step 6/ Rest and get good sleep. Don’t stress. This surf trip is as much for your loved ones as it is for yourself. You aren’t much good to them fat, broken or unhappy.

Step 7/ Appreciate your opportunity to do this. Appreciation is the key to happiness and happiness is the key to a good life.

A solo surf trip may seem to be too indulgent or expensive to justify to yourself or your family.

Think again. The alternative is to muddle along as you are now , never being able to make headway or gain traction in your good intentions to get fit and strong. This can drag on interminably without conclusion until one day you realise that your vigor is so long gone you wouldn’t even recognise it anymore.

The alternative is much greater medical bills or possible health failure. You think that a couple of weeks living and eating cheap whilst you literally surf your guts out is expensive ? Compare it with the price of a minor surgical process or ( God forbid ) a major , life altering circumstance arising from your poor physical state.

This isn’t an unfair comparison. If you don’t arrest your decline sooner rather than later , you WILL pay the price. Diabetes and heart disease aren’t just things that other people experience.

You probably pay the price of a surf trip each year in private health insurance. Well , here’s a truism : An ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure.

And really, if you’re not putting a monetary value on your health, then you’re looking at a rude awakening down the track to find that it is the most expensive and valuable thing you’ll ever own. Look after it !

Step 8 / Get happy. Whilst it’s true that getting fat is fun , it’s also true that being fat is not fun. Being fit doesn’t just increase your physical health, it also increases your mental health and a strong mind is just as important as a strong body. When you are increasing fitness your moods and self esteem will elevate . You’ll enjoy life more and will probably become a better person for it. Who wants to be around a sad , self-pitying fat fuck ? Your opinion of yourself informs others about how they should treat you. Respect yourself and others are more likely to respect you. This all starts with the basics of health, fitness and vitality.

Ok, that’s enough sermonising . Good luck and get out there. Get fit , get strong , get some good waves and become the man that you picture in your mind instead of a shambling mound .

* Don’t kid yourself. Sucking your stomach in whilst wearing a wetsuit is a fool’s errand which only accentuates your rotundness. No one thinks that the manufacture of a slight void between your pigeon chest and your gunt is anything more than simultaneously sad and hilarious. Just don’t. Relax , let it hang and own it . Best for all involved.

groundswell's picture
groundswell's picture
groundswell Friday, 15 Apr 2022 at 12:12pm

Thanks Alfred i have a freezer full of steam fresh veggies that i never eat...maybe that's part of my problem, too much meat. I love avocados but they aren't very good in WA compared to over east.(too hard)
I cut sugar right out of my diet which i thought would help but hasn't seemed to have made a difference.
I will look into eating more fruits and veggies in future.

udo's picture
udo's picture
udo Friday, 15 Apr 2022 at 12:18pm

The Future is tomoro A.M.

Supafreak's picture
Supafreak's picture
Supafreak Friday, 15 Apr 2022 at 12:29pm
goofyfoot wrote:

Anyone familiar with this guy?

Love to hear your thoughts on his carnivore diet.

https://carnivoremd.com/

https://instagram.com/carnivoremd2.0?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

@goofy , I tried carnivore before it was a thing about 15-16 years ago . Nothing but red meat and fish ( don’t really like kidneys, liver and such ) I only lasted 2 weeks then couldn’t stand the smell when I cooked meat up , body was telling me no more I think . I went on keto when I blew my weight right out and I dropped heaps and felt really good . I was diagnosed with atrial fibrillation a few years ago and keto is not the best diet for this condition so now I stick to a Mediterranean diet. I think individuals need to find what works best for them . I have read plenty of people championing the carnivore diet so it probably works for some . I’ve read testimony’s of people that have been on it for 15 years and swear by it . Eating protein does make me feel full and I don’t feel hungry for hours. Intermittent fasting has helped me with weight loss and watching calories in calories out . The free Cronometer is a good app .I’ve read your blood type has a bearing on what type of food you should eat but haven’t really explored that theory .

AlfredWallace's picture
AlfredWallace's picture
AlfredWallace Friday, 15 Apr 2022 at 12:29pm
udo wrote:

Yeh top advice Alfie...
Dont skimp on cheap Honey...research it Groundy a lot of it is just shit.

udo's picture
udo's picture
udo Friday, 15 Apr 2022 at 12:38pm


groundswell's picture
groundswell's picture
groundswell Friday, 15 Apr 2022 at 12:37pm
lostdoggy wrote:

200grams of biltong is 4000+mg of sodium which takes up 2 whole days of your max recommended daily intake for the week (no more than 2000mg per day)

I didn't know that, i usually finish off 200 grams within two days. I will stop buying it and buy more veggies.

AlfredWallace's picture
AlfredWallace's picture
AlfredWallace Friday, 15 Apr 2022 at 12:48pm

Udo. You are spot on mate. 99% of honey in supermarkets is just shit. Most claim it’s from this variety of gum tree or tea tree when a matter of fact it’s just a melting pot of the cheapest, easiest they could buy. A European relative of mine purchased when last in OZ so called genuine, you beaut Manuka, only to have it tested upon returning home to find it was made from 8 different honey varieties and no Manuka at all. The best honey I purchase is from www.rawhoney.farm here in Victoria, certified.
You need to purchase Cold Extracted, Cold Bottled, looks creamy in the jar. An upside of using this honey is that I can knock a head or throat cold dead by drinking, lemon, in hot water within honey and grated ginger, well worth trying.
Digressing here, but when you think about a beehive and all of its hexagonal compartmentalised ‘hospital beds’ where the young ones are being produced and nurtured, they are purely drowning in the shit, it’s their elixir of life and can contribute to ours as well. It’s so important that we look after bees, cos at the moment globally, Colony Collapse Disorder (CCD) is rife and it’s mainly human induced.

goofyfoot's picture
goofyfoot's picture
goofyfoot Friday, 15 Apr 2022 at 12:56pm
Supafreak wrote:
goofyfoot wrote:

Anyone familiar with this guy?

Love to hear your thoughts on his carnivore diet.

https://carnivoremd.com/

https://instagram.com/carnivoremd2.0?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

@goofy , I tried carnivore before it was a thing about 15-16 years ago . Nothing but red meat and fish ( don’t really like kidneys, liver and such ) I only lasted 2 weeks then couldn’t stand the smell when I cooked meat up , body was telling me no more I think . I went on keto when I blew my weight right out and I dropped heaps and felt really good . I was diagnosed with atrial fibrillation a few years ago and keto is not the best diet for this condition so now I stick to a Mediterranean diet. I think individuals need to find what works best for them . I have read plenty of people championing the carnivore diet so it probably works for some . I’ve read testimony’s of people that have been on it for 15 years and swear by it . Eating protein does make me feel full and I don’t feel hungry for hours. Intermittent fasting has helped me with weight loss and watching calories in calories out . The free Cronometer is a good app .I’ve read your blood type has a bearing on what type of food you should eat but haven’t really explored that theory .

Interesting supa.

His theory is organs, raw meat, honey, fruit and raw dairy. Most nutrient rich source of foods available apparently.

No veggies.

I don’t agree with the no veggies part btw

udo's picture
udo's picture
udo Friday, 15 Apr 2022 at 1:10pm

Kalbarri Eco Honey
West Coast Honey- GinGin ...buy in Bulk from this mob save some $

caml's picture
caml's picture
caml Friday, 15 Apr 2022 at 1:10pm
groundswell wrote:

Thanks Alfred i have a freezer full of steam fresh veggies that i never eat...maybe that's part of my problem, too much meat. I love avocados but they aren't very good in WA compared to over east.(too hard)
I cut sugar right out of my diet which i thought would help but hasn't seemed to have made a difference.
I will look into eating more fruits and veggies in future.

Cmon mate , get real the avocado in west oz is as good as any avo in the whole world!
Try ripen it more and they will soften.

AlfredWallace's picture
AlfredWallace's picture
AlfredWallace Friday, 15 Apr 2022 at 1:38pm

Udo. Nailed it fella. Plenty of diverse species of floriferous vegetation in your region including Julimar State Forest, Moore River etc. Bees would be going off. I used to live in Albany, we had access to amazing honey because of its diverse flora. Get it into ya Groundswell.

groundswell's picture
groundswell's picture
groundswell Friday, 15 Apr 2022 at 2:02pm

My friend Bretty Barrel makes honey as a living, it might be good honey im not sure but everyone seems to love it its called Kalbarri Honey but im not sure if he still does it. Ill look into those other companies Udo and Alfred.
Yeah Caml i haven't really given WA avos a chance, checked them a few times and they were much harder than what i was used to over east..I like to spread the avo over a piece of toast for lunch or brekky and didnt have to wait for them to soften. Ill get into them again.
By the way Caml Lumo says gday.

AlfredWallace's picture
AlfredWallace's picture
AlfredWallace Friday, 15 Apr 2022 at 3:05pm
groundswell wrote:

My friend Bretty Barrel makes honey as a living, it might be good honey im not sure but everyone seems to love it its called Kalbarri Honey but im not sure if he still does it. Ill look into those other companies Udo and Alfred.
Yeah Caml i haven't really given WA avos a chance, checked them a few times and they were much harder than what i was used to over east..I like to spread the avo over a piece of toast for lunch or brekky and didnt have to wait for them to soften. Ill get into them again.
By the way Caml Lumo says gday.

AlfredWallace's picture
AlfredWallace's picture
AlfredWallace Friday, 15 Apr 2022 at 3:09pm

Good one mate. An apple, a tablespoon of olive oil and honey per day will run your heart like a well maintained V8. Look at all those Mediterranean folk, eating olives and it’s oil, great apples and Ligurian honey, living longer than most people on the planet.
Lumo, now there’s another name I remember from that boozy day in that inn at Kalbarri in 1984. Time fly’s

udo's picture
udo's picture
udo Friday, 15 Apr 2022 at 3:14pm

Groundy you would benifit greatly from a 24 hr Fast [ 48 be better]
Deplete the liver of Glycogen...Autophagy would have kicked in to a small Degree giving a
Cellular cleanup and then start a fresh with your new Diet ...

caml's picture
caml's picture
caml Friday, 15 Apr 2022 at 3:36pm

Thanks groundy , good avos from souwest wa . As good as anywhere else. Hi to lumo, and Brett barrell while we're at it. cheers mate

udo's picture
udo's picture
udo Sunday, 24 Apr 2022 at 7:25pm

Groundswell....its Keto time for you...
And anyone else that want to Trim up and Piss Off the Dad Bod.....indo d ?

seeds's picture
seeds's picture
seeds Sunday, 24 Apr 2022 at 7:39pm

Me!!!!
Thanks

udo's picture
udo's picture
udo Sunday, 24 Apr 2022 at 7:45pm

He He ..amazing what just dropping the Booze does for DaD Bods - Keep same Diet but Try 6 weeks Nil Beer...

truebluebasher's picture
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truebluebasher Sunday, 24 Apr 2022 at 7:47pm

Nice one Udo...'ears another healthy diet...
Mike Tyson Comeback Tour (Crew got that right...this won't be pretty & can't end well!)
Mike heads the Pro cannabis Tour with his Edible Mike Bites.
Yep! You can now chew on Edible Cannabis Ears...(You heard Right!)
Chilled out Mike then repeatedly punches the shit outta some Dick Brain on a Plane.
Cannot make this stuff up...all gonna need a new brain after viewing this report!

udo's picture
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udo Wednesday, 1 Jun 2022 at 10:10am

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