Watch: Tan Madonna

Stu Nettle
Swellnet Dispatch

It's the master of improv, Alex Knost, and his first film as director. Yeah, there's plenty of his own surfing in it, but he's also joined by Harry Bryant, Michael February, and Karina Rozunko, with Knost editing all the footage - calling him a director is overstating it, there are no actors or scenes.

If you're familiar with Knost's ouevre then you'll know what to expect, he doesn't deviate in look or sound, and if you aren't then consider it a breath of fresh air from the daily blast of surf content.

Comments

Dave Drinkwater's picture
Dave Drinkwater's picture
Dave Drinkwater commented Monday, 9 Sep 2019 at 1:31pm

Really, No leg Ropes.
I've seen a number of times what a flying board can do to a human body and its not pretty. I've also witnessed what a human can do to a person who chooses to surf with no leggy with other people around, also not pretty. Good luck with recreating the past guys and the odds are you will hit somebody, the question is who. I really hope its not a kid and you take their eye out or a brain injury that will maim them for life.

savanova's picture
savanova's picture
savanova commented Monday, 9 Sep 2019 at 3:02pm

Obviously the Jamie Brisick comments where related to this bunch .

AndyM's picture
AndyM's picture
AndyM commented Monday, 9 Sep 2019 at 3:14pm

"Now that’s some duck- faced, selfie level pretentious bullshit."

mr mick's picture
mr mick's picture
mr mick commented Monday, 9 Sep 2019 at 4:31pm

YEP x 2

Mr mick

toneranger's picture
toneranger's picture
toneranger commented Monday, 9 Sep 2019 at 6:48pm

All a little bit too theatrical really.And the music........?

Ape Anonymous's picture
Ape Anonymous's picture
Ape Anonymous commented Monday, 9 Sep 2019 at 6:52pm

Kinda cool. European almost. Some grasping of the dying concept of Western freedom in there. Fun.

mrkook's picture
mrkook's picture
mrkook commented Monday, 9 Sep 2019 at 10:20pm

I think I'm to old, and work to much, but this felt like conceited vacuous shit.

MK

Johan Wohlleben's picture
Johan Wohlleben's picture
Johan Wohlleben commented Monday, 9 Sep 2019 at 10:56pm

Nothing wrong with drawing out a bottom turn and then getting pitted.-a lot further down the line than most people could do. Maybe too hipster but all those guys are good surfers.

Elliedog's picture
Elliedog's picture
Elliedog commented Tuesday, 10 Sep 2019 at 9:03am

Thank god for the little skip 15 seconds button. Mostly unwatchable.Surely Alex Knost has to fall off the radar soon?. Put the fucking guitar down to. You cant fucking play it!!!!!.

Luba

Ape Anonymous's picture
Ape Anonymous's picture
Ape Anonymous commented Tuesday, 10 Sep 2019 at 11:01am

Woah!!! There are some heavy comments going on here. It's just a film made by a novice film maker. It's all good guys where's the encouragement!?

The music was abstract, interesting. Quote from LA "every guy on a street corner can play scales at Mach 3".

Surfing was contrived, but that's what a film is -not a nature documentary.

Give them some credit for trying??

memlasurf's picture
memlasurf's picture
memlasurf commented Tuesday, 10 Sep 2019 at 1:39pm

I just don't like his surfing. Looks really awkward and there is no real smooth link between turns. Really jerky but in a longitudinal sense not vertical. True scales at Mach 3 are boring but real musicianship is not. The guy can't play.

Ape Anonymous's picture
Ape Anonymous's picture
Ape Anonymous commented Tuesday, 10 Sep 2019 at 2:05pm

"don't like his surfing", so, who cares? Playtime doesn't have to be fluid, surely it's all about having fun.

Us Aussies really have this tall poppy syndrome thing down pat.

dinnerdish's picture
dinnerdish's picture
dinnerdish commented Tuesday, 10 Sep 2019 at 3:23pm

for an ol' dude like me i really enjoyed it and makes me wanna try some new stuff...great to pass a lunch break with...

arohabro

P'tai's picture
P'tai's picture
P'tai commented Tuesday, 10 Sep 2019 at 5:13pm

Jamie Brisick nailed it for this. I had to force myself to watch the entire clip, after reading others comments. Just to make sure didn't miss something.

I didn't.

saltyheaven's picture
saltyheaven's picture
saltyheaven commented Tuesday, 10 Sep 2019 at 8:25pm

I like it. It's interesting and different.
I'd prefer to watch Alex surf over pretty much all the 'high performance' clips that come through.
I guess it takes all sorts eh.

icandig's picture
icandig's picture
icandig commented Tuesday, 10 Sep 2019 at 8:56pm

Tried to watch it twice. Lasted about 2 mins tops. I've got more important things to do for the next 24 + minutes. Extracting belly button fluff for instance. A film that goes nowhere. I know where I'd like to put it.

mattmac's picture
mattmac's picture
mattmac commented Tuesday, 10 Sep 2019 at 11:02pm

think i just found a cure for my insomnia

Spuddups's picture
Spuddups's picture
Spuddups commented Wednesday, 11 Sep 2019 at 5:25am

Not my cup of tea.

Blowin's picture
Blowin's picture
Blowin commented Wednesday, 11 Sep 2019 at 8:08am

If it’d been made by pommies you’d appreciate it as a Spinal Tap style pisstake . In which case , whilst not being funny , you’d have to award a couple of points for accuracy in portraying the plagaristic modern art/soul hipster and their unimaginative, bower birdesque approach to style.

Unfortunately, I don’t think there’s that level of self awareness going on and so we are left with this steaming pile of unwatchable shit.

Ape Anonymous's picture
Ape Anonymous's picture
Ape Anonymous commented Wednesday, 11 Sep 2019 at 8:54am

"steaming pile of unwatchable shit" - isn't that the whole point of the film - to provoke the viewer by way of using an anti-pretty package?? Cringe, by purpose, is the genre.

Spuddups's picture
Spuddups's picture
Spuddups commented Wednesday, 11 Sep 2019 at 9:10am

I don't think there was any deeper meaning behind this clip. I think the "steaming pile of unwatchable shit" term fits quite nicely.

Ape Anonymous's picture
Ape Anonymous's picture
Ape Anonymous commented Wednesday, 11 Sep 2019 at 9:59am

I tried to load an image of an advertisement from the film Idiocracy "If you don't smoke Tarrylons, fuck you!"

It's not the meaning that's so interesting, it's the culture or presentation of the film that says so much about the point in time. A little analyzing and we see the components with more clarity. There is a real "fuck you" attitude going on. As in, 'I'm getting paid for this, and if you don't like it, I don't give a fuck'. The apathy may or may not be miss-directed, it is what it is, which is a hard-to-watch film.

Quote from a friend recently: (observing) "the government is like watching a piece of shit rott on the lawn". Whether the film makers were aware of their apathy and cultural discourse or not is irrelevant. Commercial surfing can be viewed as an simile for centralised decision making as a whole, and this film is as obvious as a 'steaming pile of shit rotting on the lawn'??

Spuddups's picture
Spuddups's picture
Spuddups commented Wednesday, 11 Sep 2019 at 10:01am

I'm gonna need a while to think about all that.

Blowin's picture
Blowin's picture
Blowin commented Wednesday, 11 Sep 2019 at 1:15pm

I wouldn’t bother.

There’s no more going on in this movie than is obvious at the shallowest of observations. The lack of imagination is matched only by the lack of artistic ability . Even this dearth of talent and originality could be qualified if there was an inkling of passion or desire to create something new or even worthwhile.

But , no.

It’s glaringly obvious that Knost is nothing more than a meme generator who gleams the stylistic flourishes that were unique and valuable in their original eras and repackages them in a poorly represented mash mash of cultural theft, then devalues them even further by delivering it with no personal effort or a modicum of personal flavour. Not even an ironic grin.

This isn’t The Great Rock and Roll Swindle , this is Britney Spears murdering I can’t get no satisfaction. Actually, it’s not even that, at least Britney can sing .

https://youtu.be/vF2l_rWdvDs

shoredump's picture
shoredump's picture
shoredump commented Wednesday, 11 Sep 2019 at 11:26am

I thought Britney was pretty hot in that, but you are 100% on the money.
The older I get, the more the South Australian desert gets hit in my realestate.com searches

Ape Anonymous's picture
Ape Anonymous's picture
Ape Anonymous commented Wednesday, 11 Sep 2019 at 12:16pm

Agree

Snuffy Smith's picture
Snuffy Smith's picture
Snuffy Smith commented Thursday, 12 Sep 2019 at 9:34am

No matter how hip there's always something more hip.

Balls of fire

Craig's picture
Craig's picture
Craig commented Friday, 13 Sep 2019 at 12:00pm

Yeah, nah. Compared to the other MFeb video this looks wanky. Not a fan and those turns and drop wallets not smooth.

goofyfoot's picture
goofyfoot's picture
goofyfoot commented Friday, 13 Sep 2019 at 3:37pm

Serious question, does Alex get paid to surf?

AndyM's picture
AndyM's picture
AndyM commented Friday, 13 Sep 2019 at 7:51pm

Joy Division were hip.
Train Spotting was hip.

Knost is not.
Surfing is not.