Pipeline Masters Finals Day // Run and Done

Ding Alley
Ding Alley

I’ll just come out and say it. The opening proceedings of Pipe’s finals day are nothing short of a fiasco, marked by incompetence, poor execution and a total lack of preparedness for contingencies. And granted, even though there’s some bad luck in the mix, the head clown of this shonky media outfit should be dismissed for incompetence and barred from working in the surf space again.

I refer of course to Ding Alley’s early morning efforts to watch and document the comp.

Not wanting to miss the 5.00am superheat between Kelly and Jack, but also needing to get in the ocean, your correspondent finds himself using his iphone torch to pick his way over the coffee rock at 4:40 am to get down to the sand. After a quick stretch and a splash in the dark, I return to my gear to see the Woz alert light up my phone. Kelly and Superjack! Epic! 

Tap through and all I get is a replay of day two. Refresh the app a few times but it doesn’t co-operate. Fark! I’m missing history here! Not to worry, I’m a pro: get the Facebook feed up, and there’s Kelly and Jack. But the commentary is fricken Portuguese. Don’t have my glasses so everything’s a blur. Fark! 

Returning to the car post-haste to sort this shit out, I take a punt on darting back to the stairs around the rock slab – wearing nothing but a towel – but the tide’s too high and I cop a surge that rips the towel away and drenches all my gear, bar the phone held protectively aloft in the pre-dawn dark, Portuguese commentary babbling down at me like some kind of angry Deity. 

What a fine start to the day. What a pro.

OK, to the Woz and let’s get the nitpickery out of the way first. We’ve all picked over the bones of their hiccups and hardlucks and fuckups, and of course there’s issues of permits and considerations for the local surf community etc, but let’s put such things aside for the moment and look at it really simply. 

Pipe will always be THE contest that counts. It’s Wimbledon, It’s Augusta, it’s Lords, it’s the ‘G in September.

And in a month that’s had its share of all-time Pipe, to run the finals on a day that’s anything less than classic is a bummer. Though Huey comes to the party midway through proceedings – and the highlights package will look solid – it’s not really a day for the ages. 

The only piece of actual journalisming in Ding Alley’s coverage of Pipe last week occurred in the comments section of our ‘Black Surfboards Matter’ recap, where SN editor Stu hit up Mark Richards for a quote about riding a twinny in the comp, and as MR said, "We had really long waiting periods in those days and they very rarely ran rounds of Pipe Masters unless conditions were huge."

Now, not to say Huey doesn’t lob some bombs into the mix today, but if there was ANY way to make sure THE Pipe Comp was held at ClassicPipe™, geez that’d be a great box to tick.

Anyway, to observations on today’s surfing and the periphery, banged down in the feckless point form you’ve come to expect from Ding Alley.

It’s a bleak morning for the remaining Aussie contingent. Slater takes out Robbo in a scrappy one; RCal capitulates to Italo ‘Mugatu’ Ferreira with barely a whimper; Jack Freestone has his chance against Gabby, but Gabby does – again – as Gabby does. In the last seconds of the heat, Jack gets flicked by the Backdoor convergence on his redemption wave, which turns out not to matter anyway, as Gabs gets tubed going left, jams some turns, pops an air in the shorey, steps off, flicks his board under his arm and sashays on to the sand like it ain’t no thing.

And it’s poor form to write (more) disparaging things about this phenomenal two-time World Champ, but Ding Alley is nothing if not petty, so here goes.

Despite a lesser success rate today (climaxing in a no-make four and a bit minutes before the hooter in the final that probably woulda got him the title), Gabs’ approach to Pipe means that once he sets his line, his sheer strength, skill and attitude propel him through any foamball or shutdown obstacle in his way. You just know he’ll make it. 

And so it shouldn’t come as a surprise that Gabs takes the same dogged approach to his post-heat interviews. You can throw ANY question you like at the lad and he’ll never be dislodged from his sturdy narrative.

Interviewer: “Is the concept of ‘you’ continuous, or does past ‘you’ continually fade into present and future ‘you’? In other words, what part of ‘you’ sticks around over time considering that the atoms that make up your body are constantly being replaced and your memories are always changing?”

Gabs: “Aaaaahhhh I’m really stoked to get through. I asked God to give me the best waves and thanks to him I did. Xxxxx is a great surfer and I hope we get waves in the next heat. It’s amazing and blessed.”

Interviewer: “What do you think would be humanity’s reaction to the discovery of extraterrestrial life?

Gabs: “Aaaaahhhh I’m really stoked to get through. I asked God to give me the best waves and thanks to him I did. Xxxxx is a great surfer and I hope we get waves in the next heat. It’s amazing and blessed.”

And really, why would Gabs care about the post-heat pressers, with the Woz’s FB-cast numbers in the ten-thousand-and-a-bits, when he’s got a kajillion Instagram followers.

While wasting your time with petty sniping, gotta say, no one wears a mask with more menace than Charlie Medina. But good on him for strapping it on. 

It’s probably ill-advised, but let’s talk about masks for a sec shall we?

There’s all sorts of grey areas and rabbit holes we can disappear down here, so, we’ll strip it down to basics. Given the understanding that masks are an important part of our collective efforts to keep this pesky virarse contained, and given that sports stars wield influence over us plebs, you’d think that masks would be a no-brainer, or perhaps even compulsory, in post heat pressers. And yet there’s Kelly and Gabby and a hoarse Tyler Wright, conspicuously maskless ‘up against the glass’. 

Now, regardless of whether a mask is actually technically necessary right then and there, or not, the implicit at-a-glance takeaway message to the world is, nah, you don’t really need ‘em. 

And that’s an unfortunate message however you look at it.

Props, therefore, to JJF (*except for post final) for dutifully rocking his mask and thus encouraging those who look up to him to do the right thing, and special props to Italo for making his camo mask setup look as cool as Senegalese pirate behind a mounted machine gun circling a cargo ship in the Gulf of Guinea. 

Random Kaipo observation #1: For sure old mate could get a gig on the SBS World News team, given his ability and fondness for pronouncing exotic names with all the right emphases, inflexions and flourishes.

Random Kaipo observation #2: Kaips must have been a shitty boyfriend back in the day. Each and every celebrity caller he’s had on the line through the whole contest – Shaun, Gerry, Kelia, TC – he’s emphatically PROMISED to call ‘em back later on in the comp to talk more… Hasn’t. Called. Once. 

Billy Kemper spends some time in the booth talking up the forthcoming docuseries ‘Billy’, which looks great. I’d suggest, however, he might want to recalibrate his understanding of the term ‘adversity’, when talking about how much adversity his protegé JJF has overcome. It’s all relative really, mate. Adversity is poverty, displacement, civil war, etc – not rehabbing a sports injury in paradise with nary a financial concern on your life’s horizon.

Nonetheless, were it not for social distancing measures, I’m pretty sure Turpel would slide on across the set and at least try to fellate Mr Kemper, so affected is he by sensual Chicken Skin overload at Billy’s tales.

Spewing Kanoa takes out Jaddy in the last heat of the round of 16. Jaddy puts on a hell of a show. Sure, he may be affected by a slight palsy between turns, but you gotta love him. 

I’m puzzled by Fan Cam, have to say. The yahooing and whooping and hollering doesn’t reflect the observation of my own viewing experience, though I must admit some of JJF’s tube to hack combos do cause me to grunt out loud with visceral pleasure.

Into the quarters: 

Florence versus Leo is a thing of beauty, with JJF and Backdoor in holy union. 

Slater versus Jordy in the following exchange is a heat for the books – if the title of that book is “Huey Has A Holiday”, as bugger-all transpires, and Smith gets the worst of the bad deal.

Italo v Flores is notable for an injured Mugatu grimacing in pain in the shorebreak, but like an elderly Blues musician, barely able to hobble on to the stage, propped up by his concerned entourage of younger musicians and crew, who miraculously springs to life as the healing power of music shoots through him, Italo overcomes. So bloody ruddy brave.

Gabs v Igarashi is another misfire QF, with Meds definitely off his best, but there’s such an inevitability to old mate turning things around – you just KNOW he’ll squeak through. Which he does. I’m still angry at Kanoa for taking Jadson out anyway.

Diverting our attention to the much anticipated gals’ Pipe relocation finals. Carissa turns in far and away the most complete and impressive performance, and pretty much singlehandedly vindicates the Gals-at-Pipe concept. Tati Weston-Webb is most committed, Sage not so much, and Sally has a dig: (and if anyone’s got anything negative to say about Ms Fitzgibbons they can bloody well say it to our face first etc). 

Tyler ends up taking the thing out through sheer bullocking brilliance and her trusty go-to bulletproof layback moneymaker, (which Macca – the artist half of Ding Alley – simply cannot get enough of*) and all due props to her. Good on all of ‘em.

*not true.

Switching back to the Men’s semis: JJF v KS is a balltearer, and lives up to promise. Stellar JJF positioning and fortitude leaves Kelly needing to reprise his otherworldly 10 from last year, and when that isn’t forthcoming, fades John with 20 seconds to go, giving him a lovely barrel well worth the redundant interference penalty.

Semi two, Meds versus Mugatu, is a less exalted affair, with Meds as Boa Constrictor wrapping the injured Mugatu in his coils and extinguishing the life out of him, Actually, Pipe does the constricting – Mugatu’s last- gasp effort falling short of completion as the sandbar section pinches and snuffs our second-favourite plucky Brazillian, 

Meds deserves his spot in the final. And it’s beyond impressive to think that he’s made it firing at about 70 percent of his capability. 

The final. It’s weird, ‘cos Ding Alley pretty much takes the piss out of the whole Woz shemozzle, but watching the final, there are times I can barely bring myself to look at the screen, so invested am I in JJF winning this scrappy but engrossing affair.

I honestly can’t tell you why I give a shit about pro surfing, or pro surfers. It’s not like I know ‘em, or are mates with any of ‘em, or we have anything in common other than occupying opposite ends of the surfing accomplishment scale, but it seems very important that JJF takes the win.

There’s the narrative, I suppose – the conspicuously missing title in the list of accomplishments; there’s the backyard story too, the beach of his Huckleberry Finn boyhood; and there’s obviously the intimacy with the spot that allows him to pull off more unfathomable rides than any of his contemporaries. 

Along with all of this, there’s just the way he surfs. The lines and arcs he draws are different, loaded somehow with a different dynamic and integrity. 

I’m embarrassing myself trying to articulate it, to be honest, but there’s something uniquely pure at work there.

Coincidentally or not, he seems like a good fella as well, which makes today’s victory a fine thing to witness. 

Have a good Chrissy and see yers at Sunset.

// DING ALLEY
Ding Alley is Illustrator David @maccatoons McArthur and Writer Gra Murdoch

Comments

Sprout's picture
Sprout's picture
Sprout commented Monday, 21 Dec 2020 at 6:03pm

Merry Christmas Ding

david 24's picture
david 24's picture
david 24 commented Monday, 21 Dec 2020 at 6:42pm

Ha!.. brilliant

macca24

Dan87's picture
Dan87's picture
Dan87 commented Monday, 21 Dec 2020 at 6:59pm

Completely agree on Juan Juan!
Hard to put into words but his turns make me release funny noises from my mouth.
And some of those makes were fucking ridiculous!

goofyfoot's picture
goofyfoot's picture
goofyfoot commented Monday, 21 Dec 2020 at 7:35pm

I’m hoping the women get to Chopes a month early and get practicing because it was painfully obvious today how unprepared they are for those types of waves.

dawnperiscope's picture
dawnperiscope's picture
dawnperiscope commented Tuesday, 22 Dec 2020 at 7:26am

Hard to feel like the women’s tour is ready for it,, even with a month of practice.
After hearing the way Tyler was shaking about surfing pipe, id suggest they are a long way off running a comp a chopes. Obviously shes at the top of the heap, so can only imagine how shaken the rest were.
So hard for them to get enough opportunity, even if they want it.
I’m thinking it’s gonna require a few special women to really take it off line and dedicate years to heavy waves and get the footage out there to inspire the younger girls coming thru.
And that’ll need to be driven by the sponsors to make it financially viable for the girls in question. Which will come back to ROI, and creates a viscous circle.
Hope I’m wrong!

Ride on

thermalben's picture
thermalben's picture
thermalben commented Tuesday, 22 Dec 2020 at 8:43am

Isnt' that kinda what Laura Enever's tried to do? Hats off to her - she's been charging some insane waves over the last few years, culminating in Steve Wall's film Undone - but I'm not sure how Billabong equate big wave/slab surfing against the regular stuff she does. All of which is of considerably less risk (to her, and the company).

.cylinders's picture
.cylinders's picture
.cylinders commented Monday, 28 Dec 2020 at 1:23pm

First new issue of SW had Imogen Caldwell and Bronte Macaulay getting some mental pits in the NW in the first feature. Reckon they'd give most of the Women's Tour a run for their money at Teahupoo and Pipe.

Robo's picture
Robo's picture
Robo commented Monday, 21 Dec 2020 at 7:38pm

How to win pipeline without getting barrelled, must be a record.

Fliplid's picture
Fliplid's picture
Fliplid commented Monday, 21 Dec 2020 at 7:45pm

"I’m pretty sure Turpel would slide on across the set and at least try to fellate Mr Kemper, so affected is he by sensual Chicken Skin overload at Billy’s tales."

The beach sequel to Broke Back Mountain?

Stef_Olly's picture
Stef_Olly's picture
Stef_Olly commented Tuesday, 22 Dec 2020 at 11:31am

Hahahaha! Gold Flip gold

Nick Bone's picture
Nick Bone's picture
Nick Bone commented Monday, 21 Dec 2020 at 7:50pm

Do they still produce the condensed Day Replays? Those edits where it's just the waves through the heats?

I am the bone

Distracted's picture
Distracted's picture
Distracted commented Tuesday, 22 Dec 2020 at 6:12am

Nick, on the WSL results page for the comp where the scores shown there’s a link to the right of each heat score. If you click on it there is an option to either watch the full heat or the condensed heat.... be warned though, even the condensed heat has cut aways and voice overs!

Nick Bone's picture
Nick Bone's picture
Nick Bone commented Tuesday, 22 Dec 2020 at 5:36pm

Thanking you kindly good sir!

I am the bone

Troppo's picture
Troppo's picture
Troppo commented Monday, 21 Dec 2020 at 8:01pm

Great wrap up DA!
A proud dad of two surfing girls, plus a wife who surfs. We all watched the comp this morning. Even my kids were far from impressed with the girls, and vocalising the differences between the boys vs the girls out there today.
And it wasn't even BIG pipe. But the girls were running for the shoulder and aiming for rad cutbacks. Far from inspiring.
Good to know there is plenty of room for improvement. For me though it was surprising just how much room there really is for improvement!!!
Epic wave riding today. Some of the tube sense demonstrated way mind blowing - great viewing.

tsunalu's picture
tsunalu's picture
tsunalu commented Monday, 21 Dec 2020 at 8:11pm

Portuguese commentary way less annoying than English version

zenagain's picture
zenagain's picture
zenagain commented Tuesday, 22 Dec 2020 at 10:17am

I could have sworn Joe Turps said Derek Ho was watching the final. I hope he meant in a supernatural sense.

I didn't watch the girls final but heard Carissa was robbed? Tyler gets a 5 or something for two so-so turns at backdoor?

Since when do turns score at Pipe?

Anyway, a win's a win.

Nice write up DA.

1173

bluediamond's picture
bluediamond's picture
bluediamond commented Monday, 21 Dec 2020 at 11:28pm

Yes agree on that Zen...i think if you're not getting barrelled at Pipe, hard to be a Pipe master. Happy for her nevertheless. Incidentally, who would have thought she'd be the first of the Wright family to be a Pipe master. Crazy year! Would love to have seen Bronte Macauley make the final day. She would have smoked the field i reckon.
Classic work D.A. Honestly, one of the best.....especially the line about Jadson's slight palsy between turns. haha.
Serious question!?? Who would win a heat at Pipe between Carissa and Filipe?? I know where i'd be putting my money.
Stoked for JJF. Couldn't agree more on your sentiments....dunno why i cared so much....but i was punching the desk when he didn't come out of a deep one and elated for him when he turned the heat. So bizarre really. Thanks for an epic write up to round out the season. The laugh was appreciated!
Edit: the season was one event.!!. Can't wait for Sunset! Yew!

evosurfer's picture
evosurfer's picture
evosurfer commented Monday, 21 Dec 2020 at 11:34pm

Well that was some what underwhelming for pipe with the girls being
far I mean really distant from impressive actually embarrassing only high
light was Tyler Wright didnt use it for her own political agenda and the last
wave was astonishingly pathetically surfed and I think for the win?
Then the very questionable calls in the Slater - John John heat. Over scores
for JJ than the priority call for JJ im not sure if Slater burned him for the sake
of it or was a protest to the judges or maybe he thought he had priority but
that heat was controversial from start to finish.
Great write up.

IF im not surfing im racing

bluediamond's picture
bluediamond's picture
bluediamond commented Tuesday, 22 Dec 2020 at 12:20am

Yep! Can't argue with any of what you said evosurfer.

memlasurf's picture
memlasurf's picture
memlasurf commented Tuesday, 22 Dec 2020 at 10:44am

Slater is not a good loser if he just misses out, his is the messiah after all. The guy has a massive ego and wants to win everything.

PabloM's picture
PabloM's picture
PabloM commented Tuesday, 22 Dec 2020 at 12:09am

Good on John and Tyler. Definitely the best in the finals

Island Bay's picture
Island Bay's picture
Island Bay commented Tuesday, 22 Dec 2020 at 6:08am

Ok, I'll say it. Sally was awful, as was Tatiana. There. (I take no pleasure in saying that, and I wish they'd put on a performance. Alas, not.)

And that Tyler won the final without getting barrelled, but doing semi-bogged turns, was if not disgraceful then at least desperately sad.

JJF was unreal against Slater - probably the best heat of the comp.

Medina was a whisker away from making 'That Barrel', and hence winning the final.

Can we also talk about how much the commentators blabbed on while scoring waves were being ridden in the background? How the production team cut to interviews instead of focussing on the action?

Loved watching some comp surfing again, but holy heck did the Wozzle test our patience.

Spuddups's picture
Spuddups's picture
Spuddups commented Tuesday, 22 Dec 2020 at 6:18am

A good summary IB. I have to admit that after all the talk in recent times about how shit the WSL is I was glued to the screen during that final. Very happy with the result. Along with being good at surfing JJF comes across as an all round good bloke.

Bob Sacamano's picture
Bob Sacamano's picture
Bob Sacamano commented Tuesday, 22 Dec 2020 at 8:40am

I agree with the shitty production - the timing always seemed to be out and it was frustrating. There would be a 5 -10 minute lull and then a cut to something else just as waves rolled in. Or you could see an interview going on and then in the background scoring waves being ridden. Pipe is the showcase - just film that, show a few angles and replays, its not fucking hard.

stunet's picture
stunet's picture
stunet commented Tuesday, 22 Dec 2020 at 9:23am

Elo got laid low by the lurgy and I'd put good money on at least one, and likely more, members of the webcast production also catching it (there were five positive tests altogether).

First day back had no replays at all, and then Finals Day had delayed and infrequent replays and also some very stilted moments. They were understaffed.

Roadkill's picture
Roadkill's picture
Roadkill commented Tuesday, 22 Dec 2020 at 5:53am

The commentary team is going full vegan mystic after this comp. Fuck they talk complete shit and must sit in a circle with crystals in the evening debrief.

Sheep go to heaven's picture
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Sheep go to heaven commented Tuesday, 22 Dec 2020 at 6:58am

Brilliant summary yet again DA ! btw the judges did score that last wave of Kellys (the drop in ) it came in just under 8 , so double John would have won anyway

simba's picture
simba's picture
simba commented Tuesday, 22 Dec 2020 at 7:13am

under scored 8 imo

simba

Reefeater's picture
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Reefeater commented Tuesday, 22 Dec 2020 at 7:37am

Please don't send the women out at Pipe ever again. Benefits both the viewer and the athlete. Nice write up Ding !

Gra Murdoch's picture
Gra Murdoch's picture
Gra Murdoch commented Tuesday, 22 Dec 2020 at 8:01am

I think another way of looking at how the gals went at Pipe yesterday is to let it show just how fricken intense Pipe actually is. Watching the pro guys charge it onscreen distorts our perception of it, but its such a different matter to be there on the sand and feel the intensity. It's SO intimidating. No surprise that it was out of reach for everyone except Carissa yesterday. It's just how it is, and the Woz as usual did themselves no favours by pretending some kind of glass ceiling had been smashed, but no surprises there either, really. The Woz tried to turn the limited options of the Maui relocation into an impromptu advantage but it mostly backfired. They owe Moore a debt of gratitude for saving it, and owe Sal and Tati a beer for at least throwing themselves over the ledge. I know there's no way I would have paddled into those things.

Craig's picture
Craig's picture
Craig commented Tuesday, 22 Dec 2020 at 8:57am

Yep, that's a great way to look at it. The guys make it look so easy/not as heavy but for the large majority of surfers (including the women), it's beyond them. They'll (women) keep pushing hard and charging, closing that gap, but for now it's quite a fair gap. It doesn't help that they don't surf any other waves close to Pipe/Backdoor on the tour, hence don't need to put themselves out there in it.

batfink's picture
batfink's picture
batfink commented Tuesday, 22 Dec 2020 at 4:53pm

I was taken by the comment from Jack Robbo to strider as he paddled back out after a bomb (think the round of 16 where he scored 17 something). Strider reported JR as saying “that takeoff was so heavy”!

From the viewer perspective he just easily pulled into a double overhead vertical face drainer, , turned his chariot to the channel and pulled off an 8.8 or so. Easy as shelling peas.

I don’t know how they/he does it.

Bnkref's picture
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Bnkref commented Tuesday, 22 Dec 2020 at 6:52pm

I agree with all of that Gra. Good on them for giving it a crack.

ringmaster's picture
ringmaster's picture
ringmaster commented Tuesday, 22 Dec 2020 at 9:01am

Be fair to say the women's shitters in the 'athlete zone' would have copped a pounding yesterday.

udo's picture
udo's picture
udo commented Thursday, 24 Dec 2020 at 10:00am

Put Tahlija Redgard in the mix !

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSZ5E7Ro4g8

Standingleft's picture
Standingleft's picture
Standingleft commented Tuesday, 22 Dec 2020 at 9:18am

Medina has his flaws no doubt but it's the KS taking distinct pleasure in knocking rookies out of comps like he beat that tiny kid in an arm-wrestle at Bells, his attention seeking drop-in, etc. He's already won everything. You're the GOAT for God's sake just retire before you trash your legacy.
Have a good Chrissie Dingers

Pops's picture
Pops's picture
Pops commented Tuesday, 22 Dec 2020 at 9:36am

Darth Vader's a goofy?
The things you learn...

Does that mean Charlie's Palpatine?

He who hesitates is lost

D-Rex's picture
D-Rex's picture
D-Rex commented Tuesday, 22 Dec 2020 at 9:49am

IMO 99% of all surfers wouldn't make the drop at biggish Pipe, let alone get/make a barrel. A combination of fear, intimidation, difficulty and lack of opportunity to practise/get waves freesurfing makes it unsurprising that the gals struggled. Hats off to them for having a go, tho.

Blake87's picture
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Blake87 commented Tuesday, 22 Dec 2020 at 9:32pm

Here here. Imagine them trying to get waves in freesurfs between all the testosterone

memlasurf's picture
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memlasurf commented Tuesday, 22 Dec 2020 at 10:39am

I can't get my head around how all the zilla's pray to God that they win the heat and beat the shit out of the opposition. If there is a God you wonder if it (notice gender neutrality) would really be that concerned about some little surf contest, with whatever surfer and then be prioritising him on the check list of things to do today - oh shit nearly forgot to give Gabby supernatural powers to overcome the opposition. Surely God is a bit busy with a few other issues on earth to worry about the self aggrandisement of a surfer? I was brought up a catholic call me cynical.

Craig's picture
Craig's picture
Craig commented Tuesday, 22 Dec 2020 at 12:41pm

Ha, touché.

batfink's picture
batfink's picture
batfink commented Tuesday, 22 Dec 2020 at 4:57pm

You’re cynical memla. And so am I.

That suspension of disbelief is a thing to behold, an all powerful all merciful god who has sent down Covid as one of the four horsemen, but taking time out to help athletes overcome a competitor in a surf comp (or tennis comp, or golf). Sheesh.

memlasurf's picture
memlasurf's picture
memlasurf commented Tuesday, 22 Dec 2020 at 5:37pm

Careful don't get me started I will have the godbothers all over me like a rash as quick as you can say JESUS!

servant's picture
servant's picture
servant commented Wednesday, 23 Dec 2020 at 2:25am

?

NDC's picture
NDC's picture
NDC commented Tuesday, 22 Dec 2020 at 10:52am

Over time I'm coming to the view that an entire day of comp surfing, at one of the world's premier locations, worlds best surfers, with a couple of weeks waiting period (albeit curtailed by covid this time) produces about 90 seconds of exciting performance surf content

We're spoiled by 3 minute edits of next tier free surfers. These edits typically seem to comprise the best 180- seconds of surfing said surfer has done whilst they were embedded in the Ments for much longer periods (I think) - hard for the WSL to compete it seems - and the perf levels of this next tier are pretty mind boggling to most joe averages I reckon

Interesting to hear MR explain wait periods were much longer way back when, and meant the contest only ran when it was mega - I was wondering just a day ago, "Am I only remembering the very best bits of the 80's or did the pro's seem to get amongst maccing pipe more often?" - seems my memory isn't playing tricks on me...

Oh well - happy to see JJF win, don't quite understand why everyone hates Gabs quite as much as they seem to, and now off to surf 3' beachies

tango's picture
tango's picture
tango commented Wednesday, 23 Dec 2020 at 8:15am

Dare I say the bloke who does Raglan Surf Report on insta absolutely nails the excitement of surf comps. Well worth a look.

PCS PeterPan's picture
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PCS PeterPan commented Tuesday, 22 Dec 2020 at 2:15pm

Kelly , stealing oxygen again .
Merry Christmas all .

wiseautogas's picture
wiseautogas's picture
wiseautogas commented Tuesday, 22 Dec 2020 at 3:23pm

Wheres roy and hg, wozzle needs to get them in the booth, liven things up a bit

john wise

simba's picture
simba's picture
simba commented Tuesday, 22 Dec 2020 at 4:21pm

What they should do with the womens event at chopes and pipe* is just hold a speciality event for maybe just the top 4 or so and have it for the girls that want to surf it,not pushed into having to go out...fairly obvious that most of the girls are not up to that level and maybe never will be but thats cool cause i still enjoy watching them rip normal waves.......*pipe and chopes are not 'normal'

simba

batfink's picture
batfink's picture
batfink commented Tuesday, 22 Dec 2020 at 4:59pm

Hard to love Gabs. I’m sure even God thinks that sometimes.

Re comments on girls, I thought they had at least one women’s comp at Chopes a few years ago. Am I just dreaming that?

shoredump's picture
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shoredump commented Wednesday, 23 Dec 2020 at 6:11pm

At your local pub, or even in your line up, I totally get that comment.
But in the sporting arena, how can you not love his killer instinct. I personally respect it, and actually love to see it. I don’t want to see someone give in and just try to have fun, in a competition.
Free surfing or down the pub, yeah of course. When you can have fun with the killer instinct, like Slater does, it’s the closest you get to perfect sport.

simba's picture
simba's picture
simba commented Tuesday, 22 Dec 2020 at 5:25pm

Batfink...yeah probably 10 years or more,i think Layne had a dig but most were intimidated from recollection.....and most still would be......dont blame them really,but they wanted these events so probably should be capable of surfing them at this level.

simba

thermalben's picture
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thermalben commented Tuesday, 22 Dec 2020 at 5:37pm

Transcript from 2006 on the ABC:

"There's controversy in the world women's surfing tour in Tahiti today, with a major sponsor deciding to move one of the women's events to a smaller, safer wave break."

https://www.abc.net.au/worldtoday/content/2006/s1646593.htm

And on Channel 10:

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servant commented Wednesday, 23 Dec 2020 at 2:17am

Thanks Fellas for another very clever and funny cartoon and article. The dark side, Darth Medina Vader going left...nice one.
The Mugatu reference nearly made me fall of my chair with laughter!
Yep, Zoolander Mugatu hair, but also 1960's, Captain Kirk's Mugato(u)'s body! Ben Stiller was apparently a big fan and based his Mugatu on the 60's Star Trek monster.
God bless, happy Christmas
Isaiah 9:6

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Gra Murdoch commented Wednesday, 23 Dec 2020 at 8:15am

Mugatu's origin story! Nice. Hey a blessed Christmas to you Servant. To be honest, your Ding Alley writer's a committed atheist. Without getting down any rational/moral/evidential/analytical/scientific rabbit holes (other than to say there's no levels of love, compassion, gratitude, wonder and fortitude that can't be attained equally profoundly via the secular springboard), do just wanna acknowledge your mellow niceness is a worthy testament to your faith. Onya mate.

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servant commented Wednesday, 23 Dec 2020 at 2:08pm

Thanks Gra, no Credit due to me.
There's always Hope.
Nothing I like more than a good old fashioned discussion on the origins of all, but not appropriate here on this forum.
At your service always brother. Praying for you and all the others anyway.
John 8:32

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zenagain commented Wednesday, 23 Dec 2020 at 9:50am

Agnostic here.

Hedging my bets.

1173

shoredump's picture
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shoredump commented Wednesday, 23 Dec 2020 at 6:03pm

What odds did you get?

zenagain's picture
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zenagain commented Wednesday, 23 Dec 2020 at 6:53pm

Odds on I'm going to die one day.

Nobody will take my other bet.

1173

servant's picture
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servant commented Thursday, 24 Dec 2020 at 12:21am

Yes Z, the olde saying "nothing more certain than death and taxes".
What happens to me after this life?? is certainly the weightiest of all the big questions. Eternity is a long time, way beyond the comprehension of me a nobody.

This is not the forum for such heavy discussions, however, suffice to say, God is crystal clear on the Truth, John 8:32. Perhaps just ask Him, or not?

Anyway, I hope you and all the surf crew reading these comments, regardless what you believe, score some ripper waves this week and slide some nice ones. Forecast (many thanks Swellnet) is offshore, fun, and overhead at my local on Boxing Day....woooo, still frothin'.

Happy Christmas, with Peace and Love salty brothers. At your service, God bless you.

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zenagain commented Thursday, 24 Dec 2020 at 1:16am

And I hope you do too Mr. Servant.

Small reminder- without losing sight of the big picture, keep on the lookout for those small blessings.

They're everywhere you know.

1173

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jacksprat commented Wednesday, 23 Dec 2020 at 11:11am

Plenty to see here. Congrats to Florence. Doesn't get caught up in the Slater ploys (who tried good cop and bad cop in that heat). High fives denied. Medina doesn't care if fans/media/etc like him or not - he gets the job done and Gave Florence a cuddle at the end which was nice. Win win. It is now obvious (already)who the contenders are; Florence, Medina, Ferriera. The others are stocking fillers. And thanks for the article. Well written.

onetimeonly

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Pops commented Wednesday, 23 Dec 2020 at 11:26am

Dunno if the contenders & pretenders are that set this year, given the Trestles-finals BS. Say Flippy and Jordy make top 5 - either of them would have to be right up there at lowers (which makes rather obvious the flaw in the concept).

He who hesitates is lost

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andrew-pitt commented Wednesday, 23 Dec 2020 at 5:06pm

" Pipe will always be THE contest that counts. It’s Wimbledon, It’s Augusta, it’s Lords". Totally agree with this from Ding Alley.

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andrew-pitt commented Wednesday, 23 Dec 2020 at 5:10pm

But some of those mini-interviews at the end of the heats are painful, mumble, jumble, blubbers, poor fellow my country man.
NIDA puts on a Public Speaking Bootcamp, please, ffs, https://www.corporate.nida.edu.au/course/CPSB

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masseydoug commented Friday, 25 Dec 2020 at 9:27am

What a bunch of wingers 'we' are! To think I contemplated a subscription to Swellnet next year, come on convince me its worth all this unfortunate commentary.

The WSL should be congratulated for staging the event under the current travel restrictions and challenges, and the ladies for having a go at Pipe. Magic Tyler! Roll on the next event at Sunset, something at least to watch in ISO.

surferdoug

Gra Murdoch's picture
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Gra Murdoch commented Saturday, 26 Dec 2020 at 10:18am

Well, as you can see from the report, the biggest and most vicious criticism from Ding Alley was levelled at ... Ding Alley...

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D-Rex commented Saturday, 26 Dec 2020 at 9:03am

I agree massey, great effort from WSL. But hey, we all hate Elo because he's rich and has white teeth.