Submitted by peterb on Thu, 09/05/2013 - 16:18
- and wouldn't be good if names were names. I reckon BB is under forty, whoever he is.
with love and affection to everybody
I wish peterb.
Me! Pick me! I've only got a fifteen more months to remain in contention.
Occaisional Swelllnet contributor 'theblowin'.
I'm not sure if he's under 40 but he spins a good yarn without it being contrived or the reader needing a thesaurus.
A piece from him is well overdue.
Watashi wa metabo oyagi desu.
Best writer with an IQ under 40? Uplift wins hands down
boom tish, try the veal
did I say you had to have hair?
The Outsider - some of his WCT event coverage was gold...
Steve Shearer. We got name 1.
Second that, Goofyfoot: Chas Smith. He used to shit me with his impersonations - Tom Wolfe, John Kennedy Toole - but he's written a couple of things in TSJ lately that I've dug.
Steve Shearer is symphonic when he's on song, but then he's an old prick - definitely over 40.
Fuck, who is there? Kids these days take photos not write words - much easier to feed the internet beast pixels.
Jed Smith goes alright: unique voice, clever turn of phrase, big hair. Whack that one on your list PB. What's it all about anyway..?
Methinks it's a not so subtle dig.
Writers in general, I like Andrew Kidman, Dave Parmenter, Sean Doherty (sometimes) and definitely Steve Shearer. I can't remember his surname but as a youngster I liked the writing of that Mario fellow who used to write for Surfing World.
And not wishing to feed the monkey, but yes I really enjoy your writing PB.
Yep Sean Doherty writes some good things. Can't stand Derek Rielly's writing style. Dave Sparkes writes some great stories, really enjoy reading his things.
Tough call - I was a big fan of Lewis Samuels, don't mind Jas Smith. Kidman really speaks to me. A lot of the Surfer Path writers follow too much of a structured 'seldom surfed- history - culture - we got skunked' pattern so I don't dig them much either. It's the bloggers that do it for me - bukitbear, pbowes, lyttlestreet etc
I tried writing for surf mags a few years ago and it was a pretty negative experience - pitched a story to Tracks, they liked it, I worked on it, they edited it a bit, then they suggested change after change until I realized that it was no longer my article, but the same article they produce every year on that topic. I pointed it out and the then editor and never heard back. Few weeks later someone else had written an article on the topic, and yes, it was pretty much the same formula and style as the ones that came before it.
no agenda Stu, just curious as to who gets read, and I had to keep the old farts off the radar ..
'no agenda Stu, just curious as to who gets read, and I had to keep the old farts off the radar ..'
Only fair for the young runts, even though I'm close to 60, I am like a humble, young, raw boned, good looking, unbridled kid. Plus, I've already dominated and won the famous, much sought after 'Swellnet 500'. If I do say so myself.
'no idea Stu, just curious as to who knows that Iâ€™ve tried but canâ€™t keep from passing farts on and off during the airobics class'
I am a bumbling, old, raw boned, ugly, unbridled bugger who just likes to smell sweaty bodies.
As I have no friends of my own, I like to live the dream of having some by forcing my wacky ideas on you young runts. I have dominated and won the famous, much sought after 'Swellnet 500'. If I do say so myself.
Only fair too, because Iâ€™ve only got an IQ close to 60.
I aim to give you something that you can keep for life. A bit like herpes. My techniques are not available in any book or course; what would scientists know? I have played with model trains for 40 plus years.
Well, who's the best writer out there, in surfing, over forty? Or have we already listed them?
Under 40 Stu, under ..
.. and straygator and uplift can go and get rooted, I say that respectfully, and I'll never see 69 again
Giidday, gates, good yapping ya scrawny little runt!
Bit harsh peterb.
apologies upster, it's the drink ..
in vino veritas.
I reckon Braithy's a great writer when he's in tune with things, however most of the stuff I've seen from him has been surf contest-based.
I used to like the sporadic posts from a couple of the old Realsurf crew (off the top of my head, guys like buzzy and filthbarrel) but that was a much different environment back then. There used to be people I'd beeline too every time I saw their names in the 'most recent post' section.
Jock Serong's written some good stuff too but I've got no idea how old he is.
I'm sure there are others but I can't think of 'em right now.
"Don't try. That's very important: not to try." Charles Bukowski
I hope you are well Clifton are you still hanging out in Asia?
gotta be a chinese guy writing it clif .. looks like there's plenty doing it
I'd say I enjoy Jock Serong and Steve Shearer as well.
Nick Carroll's insights on realsurf are fascinating but I don't read much of his other stuff.
Anyone who can paint an amazing picture and atmosphere with words, putting you in the spot gets my vote.
'Anyone who can paint an amazing picture and atmosphere with words, putting you in the spot gets my vote.'
Gidday craig, this is obviously aimed at me, and well hey, what can I say, much humble thanks. Its not something that I do deliberately, or even aspire to, its just another talent I was blessed with. People think hey, lucky Uplift, but there is another side to the story that they often are unaware of. The tall poppy syndrome will no doubt rear its ugly head again, but, this is something I learned to live with even as an incredibly muscular, good looking, gifted little tacker.
I consider the jealosy and attacks a small price to pay if it means reaching out and giving losers like runty little gatesy and co at least a semblance of a life. Without my words to eagerly cling to and constantly pour over they would lead an even more feeble, ludicrous, meaningless exsistance. I am literally the reason that they and their ridiculous likes draw breath... a responsibility that I might add I dont take lightly. It even overshadows my famous, monumental, yet seemingly effortless 'Swellnet 500' victory.
Quote...'Haha, can't believe you missed 500 Morris, better luck next story!'
I am not one to bask in glory, and will not say much, other than gee, shucks, thanks craig (and in fact thanks to all of my 'fans' here)!
Zeni, vidi vici!!!
OK Caesar, but you should really lay off the booze when you post;)
Gidday boys. Just checked me last post and realised what i ment to say was he conquered, he came and im sore
@groundswell Yeah, still in hanging about Asia. We've had a couple of swells in China (Fujian, Dalian and Shanghai) of late. Off to Taiwan again soon.
@pete no locals writing in China in regards to surfing, becsie the odd "journo" tourist plug for Hainan in newspapers or for Hong Kong Holiday package brochures. You know, there really aren't many people surfing despite the fanfare every now & again about it, especially in regards to Hainan. I would love to have someone like Liu Xiaobo or Liao Yiwu to have a go at writing about surfing. Although, this would be primarily because it would mean they were finally free to enjoy their lives and the CCP weren't being f**king assholes anymore. I think both writers would enjoy a surf experience and to write about it. I wonder what they would write ...
He's back. For better or worse, he's back.
How old is that Blasphemy Rottmouth fellow? he was quite entertaining
clif wrote: ... I would love to have someone like Liu Xiaobo or Liao Yiwu to have a go at writing about surfing. Although, this would be primarily because it would mean they were finally free to enjoy their lives and the CCP weren't being f**king assholes anymore. I think both writers would enjoy a surf experience and to write about it. I wonder what they would write ...
that's it. house arrest for you!
Wellymon's the man- his post on the yowie was fiction at it's best, it made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and i am a very hairy little bastard. southey and blindboy are close on his heels, the article on whose watching n actually made the WSl change their operational function. And of course all these literary geniuses like up lift all think they are still under 40 and thats all that matters.
Wellymon????? Under 40????? Jesus H christ he's had a hard life!!!!!!!
"it made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and i am a very hairy little bastard."
We didn't call you shagpile for nothin', dave...
thats why i spent most of my time trying to be a carpet muncher!
"trying" being the crucial word......
"Carpet munching"????? How long have you been single for???? There aint much carpet out there anymore, mate.... It's all polished tiles..... Sometimes they might leave a tiny little greeting mat at the front door.... If ya lucky ;p
yeah have been lucky enough to have the polished tiles but the old rave has found the tile trade business a bit slow lately except for when i go to twinnies and well not only is there a greeting mat but they roll out the red carpet as well.
Not that into tiles......... I'm rather partial to a nicely manicured little landing strip.... I find complete tiling a little immature, if ya' get my drift lol
totally support your preference mate, you can land your jumbo and i can land my cessna.
Davo, I just fly a DC9, mate..... It's old, mid sized, but reliable hehehe......
If Andrew Crockett is under 40 then he's 39 going on 80!
The best surf history writer and indeed researcher - a most underappreciated skill - in this country.
His Pommy cousin Daniel goes alright too. A surf trip to post-GFC Iceland in the Surfers Journal stands out among his recent work.
Read it and weep...
A true master-work of sports writing
Stu, what's with the freebie side-bar, you done?
Gary G would like to nominate Gary G
I’ve created a monster. Cause nobody wants to ride faceys no more, they want Gary; I’m chopped liver.
But if ya want Gary this is what I’ll give ya: a little creatine kiss from a hard licker
second the vote for Blasphemy Rottmouth.
Whoever writes Dumbth Chronicles is reasonable too.
how about finding a female writer though, not a pro being ghost written but a female writer from the surfing world ........anyone , anywhere ?
single sex examination of any issue is just lamely last century but not a shock after seeing the crowd in most carparks at surf spots.
Blasphemy challenged me to write a book years ago ... it took that long. Stu has a review copy and he's been mighty quiet about it.
Probably because he hasn't figured it out yet.
Best current surf writers :
Some other good crew out there but that’s who’s floating my boat today.
I actually came on this thread to bad mouth someone after a recent bit I’d read then realised that’s the worst form possible . So it’s only praise I’m bestowing.
*Yes - Ozzie Wright : such an upbeat , funny bastard with great colour and unique ideas. One of my favourites really. His surfing is irrelevant to this opinion. Don’t tell me it’s a ghost .