ASK SMUCKO !!!!!

shaun's picture
shaun started the topic in Wednesday, 28 Mar 2012 at 3:01pm

Just thought I would start this thread as roolf has so many questions but he wants the penong thread to die, I'd like to blow it up as well. Also Victor if you want to ask for any more comments please use this thread, also Victor I am awarding you the swellnet tool of the month for starting the penong thread.Please Victor perhaps you would like to comment on that.
I think this is the way to go as really it now is all about smucko, so please use this thread to feed his ego until he is so full of himself he blows up.

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the-pharmer Wednesday, 9 May 2012 at 7:41pm

Are you refering to the gorry open wounds or the photo of the stiches scar? The stitches photo is easily compareable to the bite size of a whaler, the open wounds i admit look like there from a Great White, Rod himself told me it was a whaler in the 80's, would love to find the book first written about his attack or some newspaper clippings from the local paper if it was reported in there which im sure it was. Either way its his chummjng practices that shit me the most, just got off the phone to some professional white shark reasearchers and they agree since the chumming started the sharks are behaving differently and they use cages now to do there studies. I will be looking into it further with them when im not so busy. And i disagree about the teeth being unuform on a whaler, there central teeth are definatly longer than 2cm, the side ones are more likely to be 2 cm not the central ones, 5 cm is closer to the mark, i will post another pic of the 10 ft jaws i know of from a different angle, they are on SA threads on another swellnet forum, like most of my comments which are on the shark cage forum.

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reecen Wednesday, 9 May 2012 at 9:15pm

Pharmer i am going to start applying your same rule of measurement to my pork sword, by your measuring system that would make it over a foot long. And what's even better is that it gets bigger the more it is talked about.

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jeff-schmucker Wednesday, 9 May 2012 at 9:46pm

i dont think reecent is interested in the subject there pharm n scoop??!! he must be bored an shit stirrn by the sounds...he should start a wanka forum with hrh wayne tripod and a cupl other ledgends!!!

anyways on to the shark storys! haha....well i av bn sharkn since i was 6 or so and the largest bronzy i have ever seen wouldnt be over 10-11 ft...400-500 kg female...i think rodneys bite looks like a pointer from what i saw....biggest bronzy teethwould be in the 3-4 cm range....there are actually 7 types of bronzeys in the whaler family that frequent SA waters...some have much bigger heads than others....bronzy teeth are much smaller than a pointers and much different shape....poiter teeth are used for smashing mammals bones and flesh and bronzys are primarily baitfish feeders.

dunno bout the cage diving show...i'm sure its a bit too close to spilz for my liking but im happy to tow surf and live for a little longer!!

reecen's picture
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reecen Wednesday, 9 May 2012 at 11:02pm

Schmucko you would have to have the number one ticket holder to the legends club with out a doubt.
Pretty sure there is only one type of bronze whaler but plenty of other whalers that are all usually just called bronzies.
There is no way that a bronzies tooth is 5cm in length and their is also no way that rodney foxs bite wound was anywhere near small enough to be from a bronzies gob. Pharmer that photo of the jaws on the guys side if you look at rodneys wound and how his arm was when he was bitten is from a shark that i reckon would have been twice as big as that bronzie. (not twice as long but twice as big, just like my pork sword).

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the-pharmer Thursday, 10 May 2012 at 1:53pm

Hey reecen, the stitches mark shows the actual bite size, the gory wound looks like a huge pointer, i will post a picture.of.the teeth size when i can, busy surfing today. And i will measure the teeth next time i visit my friend. I agree with jeffs comment 3 to 4 cm. He would pro ably ha e a better knowledge of sharks in our waters than most. I have located rods 1975 book, waiting for it to arrive. If there is no mention of it being a white then i suggest you find a recipe book for hats and arse, I have been looking for old reports of rods attack and so far i heard it was a 9 ft shark. Jeff claims there are whalers with larger heads, maybe they hav larger jaws? Aldinga reef is known for bronze whalers, not GW, the evidence speaks for its self. Jeff who ive met a couple times, seems to be a what you see is what you get type of guy and i like to judge people from first hand experiences, you haters are giving him great advertisement for a service that is currently unavailable to most. I know spilz has great waves, like most surfers do. I just cant get there. Now maybe i can thanks to Jeff. Anyway, its pumping atm and theres no one out wherei am, catchya later

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tripod Thursday, 10 May 2012 at 7:52pm

nice one pharmer,what you see is what you get eh?maybe ask blackhawk then, from what i hear hes on a par with jeff as far as all that goes,surely you would agree mucks?ha ha wanka forum?you suggested it,twos a start though

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jeff-schmucker Thursday, 10 May 2012 at 9:24pm

blackhawk?? he ?? u would know tripod i guess....u seem to be pretty smart...sharpest tool in a small shed?? did you get a wave today? maybethats ur problem eh?? well pharm got waves and so did we over here so we content tonite...goood ta see you still reading the posts and givn some entertainment...as for ya mate reecent he seems to know a bit about sharks eh?....i rekn pharmer is dreamin about rod bitten by a bronzy....looks like a pointer bite for sure....right on cue for the shark forum anyways...chek the latest traxmag.

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the-pharmer Friday, 11 May 2012 at 12:24pm

Jeff, check out the latest comments on the shark cage forum, seems it wasnt just me the Fox told that it was a bronzie that bit him. As for reecent, most guys i know who brag about their pork sword, drive big fancy cars because they are hung like a field mouse!!
I had some great uncrowded waves yesterday, still stoked. @Tripod, thats the nickname my Grandpa had, He had 3 legs, if you know what i mean, sorry but i dont know blackhawk, and dont really get what your trying to say?? I just said Jeff seems like a decent fella to me, his charter buisness is a service thats not available atm in S.A, and i'd be keen to jump on board, give him some cash if he got me out to some remote breaks and towed me into a few. Money well spent i'd like to think. On the negative side, Jeff probably only has himself to blame if the bommie is getting to crowded for him these days??, but im sure he knows plenty of other spots to escape the pack. Back to work for the pharmer..

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victor Friday, 11 May 2012 at 5:25pm

mr pharmer aldinga reef is well known for whites....year round but more so when the squid and snapper are on .

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spunjah Sunday, 20 May 2012 at 2:33am

Hey there mr Schmucker, jst wondering if youve done much exploration round the pages islands nth/west of cape willoughby??? you seem to know just bout everything else about the south oz coastline. and jst having a look at their location they would have to be one huge swell magnet!!! jst got me curious and thought you would be a good person to ask

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jeff-schmucker Sunday, 20 May 2012 at 7:11am

hey Mr. Spun! i havnt done any exploration east of D'estrees but i have been all ears when my fellow pioneers from over that way have been takn a punt out and around there..One thing i can suggest is that The Pages is out of bounds for the same reasons that The Neptunes are!! And i'm sure you can guess why....now closer to willoughby is the reef setup called The scraper and has been towed at least twice that i know of and its an ok wave...big,shifty and breaks on wsw so have a look at that one...if you want somethn a little bigger and a lot steeper and would make the XXL competition, head to cape hart and take a life vest!

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jeff-schmucker Sunday, 20 May 2012 at 7:13am

hey pharm back to the cage diving...did you see they have let the three licenses operate with some restricted times at neptunes??...one of them was burleying at ligueana island the other day...how long before the shark cage diving experience will come to you??

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thermalben Sunday, 20 May 2012 at 8:16am

Jeff, in your opinion, what dictates the 'sharkiness' of a particular location? Is it the location's proximity to a known feeding ground (ie Neptunes)? Or are there other factors at play?

I've always found it strange how some locations give off really strong sharky vibes but others are OK. But that could also just be my imagination.

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the-pharmer Sunday, 20 May 2012 at 9:36am

Thats it Jeff, Major restrictions need to come into force immediatly, The Fox may well be the best man for the job although his past record isnt squeaky clean, neither are many others though.
@Thermalben, its funny how the mind works, read Rodneys 1975 book and you'll see that the sharks rarely get it wrong, so unless you plan on tieing half a snapper to your ankle, or even ride a boogie board i'd say your odds are pretty good, even on an island full of seals!! Just avoid the double greys weather condition and surf when the visibility is good to excellent. If one grabs ya poke it in the eye, if you can, even rub its nose?? if its a bronzie or a similar shark and you may have a chance.... If its a white, you probably wont see it coming and its good night Irene!! (Even a test bite) Very few survive the killer jaws of the GWS. Call in next time your over Jeff, have a read of Rods book. Some good info in there i'd like to chat with you about. The-pharmer was planning a surf next to a small island with a seal colony this morning but was lucky enough to get a little rain and is off sowing his seeds. Someones gotta feed this world..

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jeff-schmucker Sunday, 20 May 2012 at 10:13pm

hey ben...i think the main factor is the seal colonys for sure...when it comes to feeding its what these guys certainly do best!!...i feel the same about some places while surfing and they are all near seal hangouts....i felt there was a pointer close out there today while getn some slabs. Lets not forget the seal population is growing rapidly...my sister found a new haulout area at pt brown a few weeks ago of 150 NZ fur seals...this is disturbing for the surfing community in southern Oz, this i am sure of.

hope ya rain was enough to get all ya crop in farma...we only had 40 points here

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the-pharmer Monday, 21 May 2012 at 11:28pm

Never struck a year like this Jeff, half my wheat crop is up, thats half the battle, getting it out of the ground. 1/2 hasnt germinated but 6mm ladt saturday will get the rest up. Wait and see what happens this week. YP is pretty reliable mate, ive got my risk well spread. She'll be right mate, no point worrying about something i cant control and me mussus is pretty sweet!! might hav to eat chops 4 times a week!! The pharmer is still smiling and rightly so, waves are cracking and its to dusty to sow. No prizes for guessing what im doing later this week!

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victor Wednesday, 6 Jun 2012 at 8:20pm

jeff ,nice looking weather map for over there coming up ,n e winds and a thumping low stalling before the border ,prime conditions for some big tow days ?

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jeff-schmucker Friday, 8 Jun 2012 at 6:37am

hey victor...hard NE by the looks of it ay...swell is pretty small but nice long period....razors sat morn with barrels and long lines...heading out west after that....hopefullly score sumthn out there...wed looksbig NW but not enuf south in it for the holy grail!

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victor Friday, 27 Jul 2012 at 6:44pm

jeff, nice pick of jessiah w.o.t.d. was a paddler eh ,good to see. what size board was he on ? and what size wave would you west coasters call that one.

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zenagain Friday, 27 Jul 2012 at 7:53pm

Agreed victor, how's that wave- Phwoar!!

Beautiful colours and great shape. Mind candy.

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jeff-schmucker Saturday, 28 Jul 2012 at 10:35am

hey fellas...amazing run of swell ay!! hope u got some dwn your way too. yea he paddled a few...that was his best wave,got smoked on a few tho...paddling comes at a price thats for sure...greg long and twiggy were using leggys and there flotation ripcord devices...haha josiah had none of that,although we had a ski pikn them up....i would say that wave was almost 15ft but not quite...josiah was riding a board that greg gave him before leaving, i think its a 9 0'

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spunjah Wednesday, 1 Aug 2012 at 1:51am

hey mr schmucko, Geez you dont miss much in that neck of the woods do ya?? when i first heard of the attack at streakys today i jokingly thought to myself i bet ya schmuckos was there, then turn on channel 10 news and there you are giving the main eye witness account of what happened haha. hopefully the bloke gets to keep his arm jst lucky he's got his life. was it a big fuka? does'nt sound like anyone seen much of it at all, sneaky prick of a thing! bout time for a cull woudnt ya say?? with five deaths in 12 mths and couple of lucky ones that got away (like yesterday) and way more sightings these days then previously its all gettin a lil bit outta control if you ask me!!

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jeff-schmucker Wednesday, 1 Aug 2012 at 10:34am

hey spun...my sentiments exactly!!....somehow i'm in the thick of it occasionally....glad johns ok...i gunna have a beer with him soon!!

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old-dog Thursday, 2 Aug 2012 at 5:25pm

On the news station I saw the idiots got Bruce Martin and Schmucko mixed up. On another channel they said the die-hards are still going out surfing and showed a hooded Bruce Martin heading down the track with board under arm. Classic.

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jeff-schmucker Friday, 3 Aug 2012 at 3:46am

good ta see BM knows the difference between a bronzi and a pointa

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blackhawk Wednesday, 29 Aug 2012 at 8:39pm

Evening Schmucko. Whats goin on in Vicco? Them brutes are getn stuck into you. Hope you're ok and I'm there for you if you need me. Have you seen Justin lately? meeeow

You surfing mon-wed? Its gunna be so good at your place. Is Justin coming meeeow?

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jeff-schmucker Wednesday, 29 Aug 2012 at 8:43pm

pffft not you again..haha...you been ta tazzy??

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blackhawk Wednesday, 29 Aug 2012 at 8:57pm

No, I've been at Clif's place. meeeeow

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tripod Thursday, 30 Aug 2012 at 5:59pm

justin beiber?hes great,who would have thought hes jeffs type tho!

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westcoasteagle Thursday, 30 Aug 2012 at 9:06pm

Blackhawk. Mmmmmh!

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jeff-schmucker Friday, 31 Aug 2012 at 3:16am

haha BH...whats up with clifton??

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jeff-schmucker Friday, 31 Aug 2012 at 3:17am

Justin Allport maybe??

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nebasha Tuesday, 4 Sep 2012 at 12:14pm

Hi Mr. Schmucko,

Could you tell that son of yours that he kicks ass in the awesome horse video. very inspirational.

Ta

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jeff-schmucker Tuesday, 4 Sep 2012 at 12:27pm

hey nabsh....what is the video? wher cn see it?

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nebasha Tuesday, 4 Sep 2012 at 1:54pm

Some footage taken by toby cregan on a DVD that came with Waves Magazine called Awesome Horse. It's a collection of shorts. Trailer here: http://oceanearth.com/oeblog/?p=8463

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jeff-schmucker Wednesday, 10 Oct 2012 at 11:07am

Smucko - another question, what camera/lens/housing do you use? I've never seen any technical info to accompany your pics. Have you had any success witht the Go pro? I used to swim around in the surf with Nikonos and 35mm lens but that was way back in the film days, could never quite do as well as Peter Crawford tho.

hey nat...i have the canon 1D mark 3 with aquatech housing...shooting water with ports for 100-200 2.8-17-40-15mm fisheye.....i'm a bit of a pussy so have been shooting off the ski as its hard work swimming in some locations as i'm sure you know......now the gopro hero 2 sent to me the other week are definitley a weapon...had so much fun with it from shootn surf to goanna eating eggs to fish eating outa my hand....the gopro owners would be very happy with sales im sure!!! there is a new front for the gopro with a flat port which improves picture quality no end...they also have some crazy mounts,LCD screens and all sorts of gizmos that attach to them...go kids!!

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jeff-schmucker Monday, 15 Oct 2012 at 12:47pm

Jeff please explain why you think it's a good thing to expose a coast line that I and and a several of my friends have enjoyed for many years?

You also have a nerve to start turning it back at Ben for your silly mistakes that i can't understand.

I and many others have surfed, travelled and lived around this beautiful country and taken many photos in my mind and photo albums but have no intentions on putting pics on the www. of a slab . Then claim it as the biggest wave caught at a certain location.

I don't want to turn this into a nasty personal attack on you because you'll just try and come back with a silly/ childish response instead of an objective argument as to why you are wrecking what so many people have tried and still trying to protect.

I find your attitude so disappointing that you think it's ok to start revelling several locations as soon as you could afford a didgy camera and a jet ski?

I have now left SA after spending a good 15 years surfing the coast line. With out telling to much there's better waves less crowded no skies no cameras or wanna be pros around, waves. And if I have my way you will be the last to find any of them.

As this is my first post on swellnet I'd give you a thumbs up Ben for doing a hard job ( your never gonna keep everyone happy)
An Jeff keep up your amazing dream because life is good on the west coast but please keep a bit more to yourself, friends and not the whole world.

Andrew

grufnut
5 posts
Joined: 18 May 2012
14 October 2012 09:09 AM
Here, i'll save him the trouble.............

Firstly because I am a legend round this part of the country everyone who is anyone knows who i am, my family are the wildest first people ever to forge a life down here. I'm humble but real tough so don't ask hard questions cos they confuse me and i'll just reply with garbage that will confuse you back...... but tell me your real name and i'll offer to punch on with you next time i'm round your way. Now i have to go tow a mega swell at (insert sensitive named break here) with (insert your surf hero here).
By the way you are not as good as me and your argument, like everyone else's is invalid. Sorry you're so disappointed but i'm having such a great time that i don't care what you all think. Andrew you sound like you have real anger problems cheer up son next time you are watching me towing massive YB Ask for a go on the rope cos you know what you're doing isn't as fun as what i'm doing. Did i mention i'm humble?

cheers good luck all the best

your mate the schmuck

ONE FOR THE ROAD...by Andrew

andrew...hi andy...thanx for the question...i'll answer as best i can on this topic as its already at 16000 views...may as well give it a cupl more eh?...well done for putting up a new topic on your first go at the forums too!! impressive.

Firstly i think its great that you have left the west coast for another wave rich haven in OZ....firstly because you sound like you wouldnt be nice to any visitors or maybe juz slightly rude to them anyways...so well done on that count...I think your place in the carpark would be much better filled with a more cruisy type of local that enjoys the westcoast and enjoys his life to a point where he's not too worried about whats goin on in his neighbours backyard!

If what i do exposes the coast then what did you do while you were here?? how many people did you introduce to the westcoast in the 15 years you were here?? "several of my friends" you mentioned in your post. where did you come from? and did you invite any of your mates over that had never been here before?? or were you one of the "mates" that got introduced by someone that moved over before you?? Or were you a pioneer that found it all on your own??..if you were the latter then hats off to ya bruz and yes you are entitled to tell me i'm shithouse for exposing the coast.

I'm proud of the west coast and the quality of surf that we have here and I have no fear at all that its going to get crowded in mine or my childrens lives and beyond. I do forsee that we may have 10-20 paddle surfers surfing yanerbie in the nxt cupl of years on anything forecast over 15ft....with the FIFO access and its consistency as one of the worlds best large paddle waves i'm almost positive that this will happen. This does not need to be managed as far as i can see...if you ever get the oppurtunity to come out there and witness it i'm sure you will go home buzzing.
As far as the rest of the coast getting crowded i dont see this being a problem....the problem i can see and have seen for the last 30 years of surfing here is {and its dying out} is the amount of wanker {locals} telling people how to and to not enjoy their surfing holiday! Were you one of them Andrew? If you were grumpy at the tourists{pro's} boogers, coz i remember when you got here as a "new Local" lookn to make your way up the mighty westcoast peckn order.

as far as ben goes...he's a big boy...he actually makes money out of the said coast as well as enjoying what he does..he's a great guy and an asset to the australian surfing community...Jeff taking him to task on exposure issues was about getting him to admit publicly that he is part of this grand "exposure" problem u speak of. I dont think he's a problem because i dont think there is a problem....you do!!

I have been "revealing" waves on this coast ever since i started surfing.......I'll leave you with one question ....How did you find the place you now live in??... honest answer will be fine thanx.

@gruffnutts...i definitley dont need a knob like you speaking for me.....what about putting your real feelings down here in stone bruz.....peace... your mate the schmuk

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andrew-one Monday, 15 Oct 2012 at 1:48pm

Thanks for the reply. Jeff, I found travelled north south east and west as far as my car would take me an then walked with my board under my arm all over the state, I was born in from the age of 17. I did this half the time by myself or with 1 of my close mates. We sometimes found Waves sometimes not. I still visit when I home and catch up with my friends and go and do the same thing.

As for the mighty west coast pecking order that's your call. I never found it that bad because if you paddle out by your self say hi and do the right thing there is no problem. It probably suits you but I avoid your circus with the skies, cameras, stickers, for a more relaxed surf with less people. That to me is a better west coast vibe.

I've never been rude to people in the surf, so I'm not sure if you think you know who I am.

I hope your not getting angry about me not agreeing with the way you plaster images up on www and in magazines but I feel like I had to have my say as well. If I was SA I would call in have a beer with you at the pub and express my thoughts because I prefer that than typing on a keyboard.

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jeff-schmucker Monday, 15 Oct 2012 at 4:58pm

hey Andy...i'm not angry at you at all....its ok that u disagree with these 'images i plaster everywhere' you can let it bother you if you wish...its your problem or not your problem,you choose!.. the last 20 surfs or more as far back as i remember there has been no one there...when there has, guys have been towing ,so all cool around here as far as i can see,...one fella had a go a cupl days but then quietened down after i helped him get his smashed ski off the rocks....its been great...no crowds to speak of as far as i can see.

i dont really get what your point is though....you say you have great surfs with few out but imply something is wrong?? or going to go wrong?? Are you afraid things are going to change and if so, when do you think this may happen?? There has been a lot of talk,exposure,media on the westcoast of SA and yet its still uncrowded....WHEN is this crowding problem going to kik in??

i think NEVER.
I also think you are paranoid about it happening,but this is just my opinion so not an attack on you.
4-6ft pits yesterday alltime....no one there. hmmm

you would be most welcome to drop in for a chat too..did you ever get hassled by anyone while surfing here for 15 years?

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rail2rail Monday, 15 Oct 2012 at 11:02pm

Hey Jeff, just an observation with your comment refering to FIFO access. Here in the SW of WA, I reckon FIFO has killed the mellow midweek surf at the more well known spots. It's pretty much crowded week on, week on - if ya get my drift.

Are you saying that FIFO has also impacted on surfing in SA as well?

But I guess with 4-6ft pits with no one out...maybe not?

Mind you, I have noticed that it has been earily quiet over here for a few months now....

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jeff-schmucker Tuesday, 16 Oct 2012 at 9:40am

hey rail...the 4-6 sesh was offshore so inaccessable from land based....FIFO is impacting down here a little for sure...guys are working all over the country and coming back for 3-5 weeks off....dunno how long the work away is gunna last tho....once all the infrastructure has been set up for these mining operations i'm sure they will only employ less than half the guys for running the show. Sales of house/land and land packages on the coast have definitley ramped up a bit with young guys working away and havn a few more $$ to invest and maintain repayments.
All in all its the least crowded I have ever seen...due to costs of travelling out here/sharks i'm sure......cant be lack of waves coz its bn smokn.....wouldnt mind knowing where Andrew has shifted to if he can find a place in OZ that rivals this joint.

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jeff-schmucker Tuesday, 16 Oct 2012 at 10:38am

Hi Yorks...u stutterin this mornin?

yorkessurfer's picture
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yorkessurfer Tuesday, 16 Oct 2012 at 10:55am

Just worked out that shaun and morris are the same person. Two profiles- who would do such a thing! Anyway better get back to work, I have a fence to put up. Happy days:)

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shaun Tuesday, 16 Oct 2012 at 11:02am

Trapped in the same mind yorky, people do despicable things on the net hey.

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morris Tuesday, 16 Oct 2012 at 11:07am

Yeah Shaun, what you said.

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jeff-schmucker Friday, 19 Oct 2012 at 6:22pm

shaun...are you smuka?

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shaun Friday, 19 Oct 2012 at 10:51pm

I can be, if you transfer all the money you have via western union. Anyhows you have a think about that and get back to me. It could free up more time for you to go surfing and fishing and for a fee I could abuse people in a very backhanded manner for you on internet forums.
Oh yeah, Morris does a really good blackhawk.

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jeff-schmucker Friday, 19 Oct 2012 at 11:01pm

haha....do you do a good pussyright too?? blackhawk?? morriss?? easy ya lost me.

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morris Friday, 19 Oct 2012 at 11:01pm

That will be a separate fee for Blackhawk, I work independently of Shaun. I do however consult with him on most things

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morris Friday, 19 Oct 2012 at 11:04pm

Pussywrong.