toe to toe
Evo - The surf i was talking about today as I wrote above was in Bali.
And I shared it with a fella from Cronulla that was loving it.
Good surfer , nice bloke.
I asked him where Evosurfer was and he said that you were crying into your weetbix about how much better it had been in Bali in 1937.....now those were the days.
PS Most of the above is true.
The part about Evo may be fictional.
The part about the bloke from Cronulla ( name removed to protect the innocent and virtuous ) is not.
Back to Canggu ....
Old mate dancing with Balo /perhaps Japanese ( he does look more , but I'm most probably mistaken ) anyway what's the odds that old mate is from Israel ? Didn't they just get the green light ??
Not sure that will last if that is the case , regardless if true aren't they in for a wake up call !!!
Tell me it ain't so Southy !!!!??
Jeez Evo, cool your jets, I'm not Indonesian. Go do a burn-out or something.
You'd have to ask Indo dreaming , dandandan or do a search of the site ( there's a thread on Israel ie surfers ( or the thread gets hijacked to them ) being fucksticks in the Maldives .
Israelis in Indo? Sweet baby Jesus.
Don't take my word for it ... I can't find where dan x3 wrote it . But I'll try and Google it outside of this site .
http://asiapacific.anu.edu.au/newmandala/2016/01/25/indonesias-israeli-p... .
But it appears there is a loop whole for them esp. If they have dual passports . Apparently they can get a business visa ...... Whatever that means . ?!
Hey Stunet see if you can get a shot of Felipe,s quiver, more beautiful Brewer (and others) guns unlikely to exist anywhere.
Israelis in Indo? Final nail in the coffin if its true. Loophole with dual passports has always been there .
Mike I think the article states that they recinded
southey wrote:I get it bb . You don't want your current employer " Murdoch " to realise that you are currently also working for Getup ?!?!
Back to topic though . Yeah since Uplift is not around then we can presume that it's : CS 1 uplift 0 .
Or some may argue that the Turkey is still being circled by the Chicken .
Come on Shaun , get off the bench and help me out here . Don't use the excuse that Morris is back in the wagon .......... again !If I may indulge , why up until recently had you not head west ?
Are you talking about The Shaun Morrison on the realsurf forum, bit of a legend that one. Took out the Tard of the year in his rookie year, upset some of the surfie types over there!
caml wrote:Purplepills wrote:Koby had a few words to JBG in the toilet block at haleiwa and JBG woke koby up on the couch. Koby 1 JBG 0.
Not quite pp
Add to or correct Caml
Do u mean that koby won this fight pp ? I thought that it was kobys courage to actually try , but lose that earnt the kudos
I'm a dope
According to the person I know that was there it was the toilet block down from pipe.
Nobody really won or lost and was a awesome blue.
Anybody that takes on that gorilla is a hero in my eyes win or lose.
Anyway JB was always cool to me and made me take 2 of the biggest
waves Ive ever had at pipe. Pipe 1 me 1.
Turkey. Hoons do burnouts and that's not where I'm at.
What about Dooma? Didn't he take up a JBG dance invite once and then J-Boy reneged? Where's that in Warshaw's (US) history of the world?
And Southey what does the chicken scratching anxious circles round a turkey even mean?
Howzabout a turducken scenario? Who's the duck but? Wayne Carey?
Now THAT'S some nonsensical hoo-ha. Hang on, is that Niki Savva on Insiders? L8er sk8ers.
And Evo I've always found a bit of circle-work very relaxing. Well, afterwards.
No winner or loser as it goes and JBG woke koby up to say no hard feelings. Mark it 1 to Koby did more for his rep and being in Hawaiian islands at the time some serious kahuna's.
Sick evo call in by JBG - ya have to go
That guy on Baliwave does look more like a Israelite than brazzo to me back to Sri Lanka.
clif wrote:BB is Stunet who is Thermalben who is Derek Hynd who is Uplift who is Caml who is Blowin who is Craig who is Zenagain who is drunk.
Is Fred Pawle on here?
Crikey, Savva! Bet she's got a pair of Turnbull undies on. Shiver.
Anyhoo, isn't J-Boy incarcerated now? Fully safe to shit-talk then. Allied to the infamous Vicco island incident back in the glory daze when visiting Hawaiian bruddahs got bashed by dinky di Aussie patriots (thought they were 'abos'), didn't JBG get chased off a Queensland island in a sort of redux? Well, kind of a redux. Actually, not really. No racialist overtones. He was just being a cunt.
Off topic. Any special hair-of-the-dog cures out there? Beer daiquiri ain't cutting it.
Story I heard about JB and koby was they went into the toilets down at Haleiwa to sort it out, pretty much even result no real winner blue but when they came out JB had blood on his face and the rumour mill went wild and still carries on 20 ys later
Perry Dane did the job properly on J Boy.
I believe JBG is receiving treatment for bipolar disorder.
And Perry is doing time
.
wally wrote:I believe JBG is receiving treatment for bipolar disorder.
Don't all surfers have that disorder;)
Is GaryG really Tony Edwards? There's similarities to GG and the pig of steel.
Any of you mongrel legends get a surf in today.
Did I , you ask ?
Well, yes I did.
Hit the hat trick.
3 days in a row of gold, gold , gold to this humble blowin.
The key word for today would be languorous .
The wind was as absent as the 10 day package tourist surfers and their bulimic at a banquet approach to the line up .
The staging of a local religious ceremony prevented the boat that usually ferries the gronks to and from the surf from running and consequently there was a mere 7 ( !!!) surfers stretched over the length of the kilometre long reef.
Who'd have thought that laziness was so prevalent amongst surfers ?
The windless conditions provided for the same oil slick texture as witnessed on the past couple of days and the 3-5 foot waves were a beautiful thing to behold, yet also testing as the heat ratcheted up to insufferable levels sending more than one person scurrying into the welcome arms of a shady warung and a cold Bintang.
The pestilential pseudo locals were also on a team bonding mission to the West coast , taking their uninspiring surfing , core strengthening SUP antics and explicit , though contradictory and often blatantly incorrect opinions on the workings of the several main sections of reef with them.
The silence was truly golden.
Carves were the order of the day. The powerful walls presenting nicely and three or four good hits was standard , tubes being a non starter on this fine March day.
As my arms gave way and I drifted over the reef into the lagoon a screeching sound from out the back caught my attention , I cast my eyes out to sea in time to bear witness to a late fifties, Pommy boogie boarder - the last man standing after the marathon session in the heat - fapping his way across an endless Indian Ocean wall , possibly the wave of his life, and screaming his lungs out with joy.
2016 !!! Who'd have thought it was still possible.
Rumours of Bali's demise are greatly exaggerated .
I did. Waist to chest high 45 minute sesh, top to toe 5mm rubber with the light onshore teetering towards blowing out what was already rubbish surf to begin with. When it did arrive with a vengeance, I didn't seek the shade of a warung and a cold Bintang, I squirmed out of my suit, dumped the 5 litres of hot water I'd brought to the beach with me, drove home and straight into a bowl of lovingly prepared noodles from my beloved.
Did I mention the lack of crowd? Being a Sunday, overcast, freezing and shitty, there was a crew of 7 spread over a kilometre of a litter strewn wasteland all probably thinking the same thing- I got fucking cold for this!
Roll on summer.
Blowie, any excuse to blow your own trumpet. Yeah, I body-surfed today. Again. Groundhog summer.
zenagain wrote:I did. Waist to chest high 45 minute sesh, top to toe 5mm rubber with the light onshore teetering towards blowing out what was already rubbish surf to begin with. When it did arrive with a vengeance, I didn't seek the shade of a warung and a cold Bintang, I squirmed out of my suit, dumped the 5 litres of hot water I'd brought to the beach with me, drove home and straight into a bowl of lovingly prepared noodles from my beloved.
Did I mention the lack of crowd? Being a Sunday, overcast, freezing and shitty, there was a crew of 7 spread over a kilometre of a litter strewn wasteland all probably thinking the same thing- I got fucking cold for this!
Roll on summer.
Zenmon,
Tuff cunt for sure;)
Blowin you're so soft and spoilt.......
Every dog has his day Zen , and can I just say that the idea of hot noodles on a cold day excites me ?
True enough.
And how do you take 5 litres of hot water to the beach ?
I've probably told you this before regards surfing in cold water , but my mate in Tassie has to light a fire before he goes surfing in order to be able to heat his extremities enough to work his keys in the car door when he gets out.
Hard core.
Talking about hardcore ....when I got out of the water the fresh water shower wasn't working and I had to drink my Bintang covered in salt and sweat. Not as easy as it sounds.
We are being treated to a tremendous tropical downpour right now.
Rain, bintangs, wave satiation - Indonesia , I salute you.
PS Morris ( Talking turkey ) you want to put some plants in the ground and pull a nice crop before the pricks legalise it and get your arse over here .
It's not my trumpet I'm blowing, it's Huey's.
Whoa , Welly.
Soft , me ?
Do you realise how carbonated Bintang can be ?
I've had to soldier through the last two longnecks with a case of hiccups like you wouldn't believe.
Soft ? ......Ha !
Don't get me wrong Blowy, tough I aint and I would have gladly traded places with you in a heartbeat.
I take hotwater from the tap at home in a 10 ltre container and keep it warm by wrapping a beach towel around it.
And I would have preferred a sanga, I'm so bloody sick to death of rice and noodles.
zenagain wrote:I did. Waist to chest high 45 minute sesh, top to toe 5mm rubber with the light onshore teetering towards blowing out what was already rubbish surf to begin with. When it did arrive with a vengeance, I didn't seek the shade of a warung and a cold Bintang, I squirmed out of my suit, dumped the 5 litres of hot water I'd brought to the beach with me, drove home and straight into a bowl of lovingly prepared noodles from my beloved.
Did I mention the lack of crowd? Being a Sunday, overcast, freezing and shitty, there was a crew of 7 spread over a kilometre of a litter strewn wasteland all probably thinking the same thing- I got fucking cold for this!
Roll on summer.
Killing it Zen! Hahah
Really Zen ?
I've sort of lost interest in bread...it's basically impossible to avoid refined flour in Oz unless there is a Sushi joint nearby.
Not to mention that flour literally gives me a rash.
The Japanese diet appeals to me so hard, in fact that's what I'm having tonight.
PS. How long is a towel meant to keep your water warm ?
Mate , get your arse to Indo ASAP.
Best waves in the world by a fair margin I reckon.
Warm weather, good food, beautiful people ( especially women ) , tropical and still many pumping sessions with no one out.
Ignore the gronks and get your Indo on before the Doomsayer's prophesies become a reality and it's overrun with fuckwits everywhere.
Yeah Goofy, living the dream man- ha ha!
I eat a pretty much an exclusive Japanese diet so that means rice for brekky, lunch and tea. I'd also eat noodles in various forms (ramen, somen, udon, soba) several times a week too. Just that sometimes I crave for something familiar from home- toasted ham cheese and tomato sanga or vegemite and avo on toast. Funny though, after a recent trip back home I felt after a few days I was really missing Japanese food.
If I take hot water from home, wrap it in this big towel I've got and stash it in this little nook I've got in the back of my wagon it will stay warm enough to rinse off till the early afternoon. That was probably the most pleasurable thing about this mornings surf.
I know, I keep telling myself about Indo, I know I'd love it. My younger bro solo's Bali all the time, stays away from the name places and reckons he gets great waves.
When I was a kid I used to dream of surfing Nias. DP and Rifles are the two waves I want to surf nowadays.
As for sushi, I saw norimaki back in Oz for $4.00- wtf?! It's just bloody sushi for goodness sake. I never eat sushi outside of Japan especially at those prices.
I enjoy your writing man, keep it up.
Fred Pawle is a writing god. It's like Jeffrey Archer fucked Bryce Courtenay and gave birth to a co-joined Helen Razer and Joe Hildebrand in an immaculate conception type thingy.
Burp.
Genius turkey
Never really a fan of Fred Pawle .....10000 words on Sarge fingering some young surfer ??!!!
And the Matt Branson thing ?
That was him huh ?
Bloke surfer wants to root other bloke surfers.
Woah !!
Hold the press.
Jock Serong is where it's at.
Blowin wrote:Whoa , Welly.
Soft , me ?
Do you realise how carbonated Bintang can be ?
I've had to soldier through the last two longnecks with a case of hiccups like you wouldn't believe.
Soft ? ......Ha !
Just stirring ya B....
Love ya work keep it real as always you do;)
Funny/clever literature to say the least, always on the ball....
I thought you'd figured me out Welly.
I've got blisters from all the posts I've written today.
But that doesn't make me soft does it ?
No.
Especially charging x2 longies, with hit ups.
Or was it hiccups?
JBG was charged with attempted murder a few weeks ago.
Blowin wrote:I thought you'd figured me out Welly.
I've got blisters from all the posts I've written today.
But that doesn't make me soft does it ?
The funny thing is maybe!
You must have small little fingers, to type like you do a phone?
Sure as hell I can't.....
Anyone see Fred Pawle on the Charlie Pickering show on the ABC this week? Jeepers. What a nebbish.
Isn't Freddy Jock Sarong?
I'm still working the Commodore 64 Welly.
I dictate to a trained monkey and he goes the hard yards typing it up.
Fucker struggles with a twist top bottle though.
If you're ever shopping around - always Bonobo, never chimpanzee.
Too much attitude.
Jokes Welly.
I watch some young guns on their phones and am amazed at the dexterity of their digits.
Give the fuckers ten years and they'll have claws for hands due to arthritis.
iPad all the way mate.
Anyone else out there ever drank Underberg? It's amasing!
Yeah , I'll hit up the Underberg on a bender every now and again.
Those little bottles stack up pretty quick though.
The garbo thinks I'm hosting dozens of drunken midgets in my back room.
Ever tried absinthe ?
PS. Just googled nebbish....
Great word.
Was Pawle left wanting on the Tele ?
Ever had a Chartreuse Stinger?
Kaboom!
The inlaws live in a beautiful part of the world. Whilst the surf can get world class at times it is mostly just fun, and uncrowded. Which is more than fine. In factsome locations are so uncrowded that it is like surfing in a different era. One spot i call 1972 due to the fact that it reminds me of a scene from morning of the earth. Crystal clear zippering walls with barely a soul out- generally one or two others. This coupled with the verdant tree lined headland and sand bottom makes it a pleasure to surf , as opposed as it is to the unforgiving desert and limestone/ coral reefs i'm used to.
But i had never visited during the holiday season...till now. This tranquil lineup had transformed to a seething mass of humanity. All manner of craft coating the formerly pristine line up. As this spot has somehow slipped the radar of the herd, the crew consisted mostly of dads and kids and the less than commited crew. And the line up worked. Somehow it was fun and egalitarian and everyone got a slice of the pie.
Whilst not exactly morning of the earth anymore the vibe was great. I surfed for six hours straight,like a grom. Ball rash from so many run arounds, nipples like i had taken a cheese grater to them. Even toked on a joint at around the three hour mark that a couple of crew were burning on the jump off rock. Life was good.
Then i noticed a new face in the lineup, with a couple of cronies in tow , talking in an exaggerated volume and jostling the take off spot. With a sweep running down the point and a jump rock granting access to pole position, Loud Mouth was berating anyone entering the lineup, loudly proclaiming how snakes jumping staight to the take off position would not be tolerated and how they would be dealt with. The accused being mainly mid teen lidders. The good feeling permeating the lineup rapidly evaporated , but who gives a fuck ? I was surfed out and ready for one to shore. Just make it a good one eh ? No hurry, the walk up the beach was gonna make my thighs bleed anyway.
So i waited in pole position, a few meagre sets passed before my wave came. I started
to paddle noticing Loud Mouth paddling furiously from his recent entry off the jump rock declaring possesion. Whatever fuckstick, i'm going. So i went. Loud Mouth went too, i faded and Loud Mouth and myself went over the falls as one.
He came up swearing blue murder.
"You dinged me board! on the beach cunt" he said. First time i'd ever heard it in real life. Still did not really give a fuck. Surfed with many tools over many surfs and knew a blow hard when i heard one. Caught the next whitewash, my session was corrupted and i was spent anyway.
Loud Mouth caught it too and a weird tension was between us as we exited the water, metres apart. I could plainly see the bitter contempt and rage on his face, but i could also see doubt as i had inadvertently called his bluff by coming in even though it was not for his benefit. We walked up the beach a few steps before he addressed me as the cunt that ruined his surf. I told him where he stood in my eyes
What happened next seemed to occur in the blink of an eye. He dropped his board on the sand and so, it seems, did i. I was expecting more front , instead Loud Mouth punched me fair in the face.
Let's get this straight. I'm no fighter. I have not been in a sober fight since primary school, and the pissed scuffles were just that, scuffles. But i do like to stay fit. And a favoured way of fitness for me is hitting a heavy punching bag, the height and range of which was exactly the same as this pricks face. I wore the punch and before even i knew what had happened my right fist shot out and connected with Loud Mouth's mouth.
It was only a jab but the cocksucker reeled,backed off and took stock. This was not part of his plan. I was as suprised as he was. I know i'm not a coward but i had never fronted another man face to face and this was new territory. I still wasn't angry, hours of surfing and exertion had mellowed me and given me a bit of distance from the pain and affront of being physicaly assaulted.
So we stood there for a period , wordless. Loud Mouth seemed hesitant, his bitterness satisfied after spreading his hate so obviously and his two dimensional bullying bravery vanishing after his chosen victim did not roll over pleading mercy.
For a further few seconds relative normality remained. Without agreement we both took a step back and picked up our surfboards. In retrospect i see this as a point of reflection for us both, the slandering continued, by now he had assumed the role of unapologetic local valouriously facing down the invasion of neophyte blow in invaders, i was still processing just what had happened, from mellow and happy to dragged into a whirlpool of bitterness and spite. For seemingly the first time since reaching the beach i realised what was happening. I looked around at the at the beach that i was so accustomed to being empty and saw the holiday crowds, the families formerly enjoying a festive summer day staring in open mouth shock at what was happening before their eyes.
That was when the madness set in. I looked at the blue sky and the white sand and realty, or unreality, set in. I started to blather, i could not tell you for certain what i was saying but it was lost mans dribble refering to the beautiful day and how this cunt had destroyed it with malicious intent. He started to walk along the beach cursing me over his shoulder, i think he saw in me something that i was not consciously aware of myself and his desire for confrontation was gone.
We walked in lock step along the beach as though to jump back off the point, myself slightly behind, fermenting, when we reached his friends. His bravado reappeared, turning to face me he addressed his friends, a half dozen guys and girls staked out against the wire guarding the dunes, he described my crimes as a blowin, an unwelcome abhorration, i saw the girls sneer as i raved about being from somewhere else, somewhere where people are judged on their merits in the surf. I recollect displeasure on their faces when they realised i wasn't from a city with inferior waves to theirs.
Then the red mist came over me
It was the assumed resentment of the women that really got me.
The smug superiority of some small minded no- one cunt moll that set me off. I turned to face Loud Mouth in front of his cunting piece of shit friends and with every ounce of will ,energy and misdirected anger from every point of my life i drove my fist into that cunt's putrid face and punched him to the sand.
I was standing over Loud Mouth's form bellowing that he was an imposter king presiding over a weak, gay wave, raising my fist for another blow when i realised my hand was broken . Then i heard a lady screaming and i was back in my head, concious of what i'd done , aware of where i was.
Loud Mouth was not cowering , but all fight had left the man. He was submissive but i was not gracious. Thank fuck i did not have a gun cause if i did i would have shot the cunt. The only thing that stopped me from kicking him till he twitched was some chick throwing herself over his prostrate form.
I looked up to see four hundred sets of eyes willing me in gaol. I walked towards the path that led to the carpark, unrepentent, as i approached my car a smiling mother said to her young son "look at that mans face honey! " , i stared at her and tried to fathom what type of person would be so insensitive to anothers situation.Then i told her to "shut the fuck up , mole," and walked to my car.
Looking in my cars rear view mirror i saw that Loud Mouth's initial punch had broken my nose. I straightened it suprisingly easily and drove one handed to the hospital where the nurses shook their heads with scepticism and unabashed disgust as i lied to their faces and told them i had broken my hand and nose in a wipeout.
I can't say i moved on and put this bullshit behind me so easily. The fact that i'm still talking about it now reveals the truth.
In fact i went into a fair spiral of hatred towards my fellow man and society in general following this little episode. I pretty much bailed on humanity till the holidays ended. Then i would cruise the short streets of 1972 with my fish killing baton at hand only half deluding myself that i was'nt looking for Loud Mouth, the man that pretty much single handedly robbed me of my love of the human race.
Of course i got over it. But it took me a whole lap of this awesome land to come to grips with the act of a single fuckwit. And that was a few years ago.
The lesson i've learnt ? Don't humour some clown that wants to bring you down to their bitter level or, as a wise fella has told me since- Never get into a mud slinging match with a pig cause you both end up covered in shit- only the pig likes it.