toe to toe

theblowin's picture
theblowin started the topic in Saturday, 28 Jan 2012 at 1:45pm

The inlaws live in a beautiful part of the world. Whilst the surf can get world class at times it is mostly just fun, and uncrowded. Which is more than fine. In factsome locations are so uncrowded that it is like surfing in a different era. One spot i call 1972 due to the fact that it reminds me of a scene from morning of the earth. Crystal clear zippering walls with barely a soul out- generally one or two others. This coupled with the verdant tree lined headland and sand bottom makes it a pleasure to surf , as opposed as it is to the unforgiving desert and limestone/ coral reefs i'm used to.
But i had never visited during the holiday season...till now. This tranquil lineup had transformed to a seething mass of humanity. All manner of craft coating the formerly pristine line up. As this spot has somehow slipped the radar of the herd, the crew consisted mostly of dads and kids and the less than commited crew. And the line up worked. Somehow it was fun and egalitarian and everyone got a slice of the pie.
Whilst not exactly morning of the earth anymore the vibe was great. I surfed for six hours straight,like a grom. Ball rash from so many run arounds, nipples like i had taken a cheese grater to them. Even toked on a joint at around the three hour mark that a couple of crew were burning on the jump off rock. Life was good.
Then i noticed a new face in the lineup, with a couple of cronies in tow , talking in an exaggerated volume and jostling the take off spot. With a sweep running down the point and a jump rock granting access to pole position, Loud Mouth was berating anyone entering the lineup, loudly proclaiming how snakes jumping staight to the take off position would not be tolerated and how they would be dealt with. The accused being mainly mid teen lidders. The good feeling permeating the lineup rapidly evaporated , but who gives a fuck ? I was surfed out and ready for one to shore. Just make it a good one eh ? No hurry, the walk up the beach was gonna make my thighs bleed anyway.
So i waited in pole position, a few meagre sets passed before my wave came. I started
to paddle noticing Loud Mouth paddling furiously from his recent entry off the jump rock declaring possesion. Whatever fuckstick, i'm going. So i went. Loud Mouth went too, i faded and Loud Mouth and myself went over the falls as one.
He came up swearing blue murder.
"You dinged me board! on the beach cunt" he said. First time i'd ever heard it in real life. Still did not really give a fuck. Surfed with many tools over many surfs and knew a blow hard when i heard one. Caught the next whitewash, my session was corrupted and i was spent anyway.
Loud Mouth caught it too and a weird tension was between us as we exited the water, metres apart. I could plainly see the bitter contempt and rage on his face, but i could also see doubt as i had inadvertently called his bluff by coming in even though it was not for his benefit. We walked up the beach a few steps before he addressed me as the cunt that ruined his surf. I told him where he stood in my eyes
What happened next seemed to occur in the blink of an eye. He dropped his board on the sand and so, it seems, did i. I was expecting more front , instead Loud Mouth punched me fair in the face.
Let's get this straight. I'm no fighter. I have not been in a sober fight since primary school, and the pissed scuffles were just that, scuffles. But i do like to stay fit. And a favoured way of fitness for me is hitting a heavy punching bag, the height and range of which was exactly the same as this pricks face. I wore the punch and before even i knew what had happened my right fist shot out and connected with Loud Mouth's mouth.
It was only a jab but the cocksucker reeled,backed off and took stock. This was not part of his plan. I was as suprised as he was. I know i'm not a coward but i had never fronted another man face to face and this was new territory. I still wasn't angry, hours of surfing and exertion had mellowed me and given me a bit of distance from the pain and affront of being physicaly assaulted.
So we stood there for a period , wordless. Loud Mouth seemed hesitant, his bitterness satisfied after spreading his hate so obviously and his two dimensional bullying bravery vanishing after his chosen victim did not roll over pleading mercy.
For a further few seconds relative normality remained. Without agreement we both took a step back and picked up our surfboards. In retrospect i see this as a point of reflection for us both, the slandering continued, by now he had assumed the role of unapologetic local valouriously facing down the invasion of neophyte blow in invaders, i was still processing just what had happened, from mellow and happy to dragged into a whirlpool of bitterness and spite. For seemingly the first time since reaching the beach i realised what was happening. I looked around at the at the beach that i was so accustomed to being empty and saw the holiday crowds, the families formerly enjoying a festive summer day staring in open mouth shock at what was happening before their eyes.
That was when the madness set in. I looked at the blue sky and the white sand and realty, or unreality, set in. I started to blather, i could not tell you for certain what i was saying but it was lost mans dribble refering to the beautiful day and how this cunt had destroyed it with malicious intent. He started to walk along the beach cursing me over his shoulder, i think he saw in me something that i was not consciously aware of myself and his desire for confrontation was gone.
We walked in lock step along the beach as though to jump back off the point, myself slightly behind, fermenting, when we reached his friends. His bravado reappeared, turning to face me he addressed his friends, a half dozen guys and girls staked out against the wire guarding the dunes, he described my crimes as a blowin, an unwelcome abhorration, i saw the girls sneer as i raved about being from somewhere else, somewhere where people are judged on their merits in the surf. I recollect displeasure on their faces when they realised i wasn't from a city with inferior waves to theirs.
Then the red mist came over me
It was the assumed resentment of the women that really got me.
The smug superiority of some small minded no- one cunt moll that set me off. I turned to face Loud Mouth in front of his cunting piece of shit friends and with every ounce of will ,energy and misdirected anger from every point of my life i drove my fist into that cunt's putrid face and punched him to the sand.
I was standing over Loud Mouth's form bellowing that he was an imposter king presiding over a weak, gay wave, raising my fist for another blow when i realised my hand was broken . Then i heard a lady screaming and i was back in my head, concious of what i'd done , aware of where i was.
Loud Mouth was not cowering , but all fight had left the man. He was submissive but i was not gracious. Thank fuck i did not have a gun cause if i did i would have shot the cunt. The only thing that stopped me from kicking him till he twitched was some chick throwing herself over his prostrate form.
I looked up to see four hundred sets of eyes willing me in gaol. I walked towards the path that led to the carpark, unrepentent, as i approached my car a smiling mother said to her young son "look at that mans face honey! " , i stared at her and tried to fathom what type of person would be so insensitive to anothers situation.Then i told her to "shut the fuck up , mole," and walked to my car.
Looking in my cars rear view mirror i saw that Loud Mouth's initial punch had broken my nose. I straightened it suprisingly easily and drove one handed to the hospital where the nurses shook their heads with scepticism and unabashed disgust as i lied to their faces and told them i had broken my hand and nose in a wipeout.
I can't say i moved on and put this bullshit behind me so easily. The fact that i'm still talking about it now reveals the truth.
In fact i went into a fair spiral of hatred towards my fellow man and society in general following this little episode. I pretty much bailed on humanity till the holidays ended. Then i would cruise the short streets of 1972 with my fish killing baton at hand only half deluding myself that i was'nt looking for Loud Mouth, the man that pretty much single handedly robbed me of my love of the human race.
Of course i got over it. But it took me a whole lap of this awesome land to come to grips with the act of a single fuckwit. And that was a few years ago.
The lesson i've learnt ? Don't humour some clown that wants to bring you down to their bitter level or, as a wise fella has told me since- Never get into a mud slinging match with a pig cause you both end up covered in shit- only the pig likes it.

zenagain's picture
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zenagain Saturday, 28 Jan 2012 at 2:14pm

Blowin, I love your writing man. I unashamedly am happy to say this.

Give me this over ASP conspiracies anyday. I've been in this situation before and it brought back so much to me and it doesn't feel good but reminds me of when I was a weaker person.

I've always told anyone who would listen that my philosophy on fighting is simple- Excluding footy, I've had four fist fights in my adult life. The only one I lost was the one I picked.

Defend yourself till the cows come home, but never pick a fight. It's scary, it hurts and in the end, you're both losers.

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bigwayne Saturday, 28 Jan 2012 at 6:41pm

mr blowin , fighting is best left for those uneducated, but self defence is a completely different matter.
this was bought to you by a worried that blowin will loose his stoke for surfing HRH bigwayne

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sidthefish Saturday, 28 Jan 2012 at 9:47pm

excellent .

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thermalben Saturday, 28 Jan 2012 at 10:08pm

Holy shit, what a great read.

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freeride76 Saturday, 28 Jan 2012 at 10:36pm

Those things linger a long time.

seen mates go through shit like that that lasted years.

Good life lessons for those with ears to hear.

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stunet Saturday, 28 Jan 2012 at 10:45pm

Good words, Blowin. Raised my own tension levels just reading them. I'm sitting here swimming in the wisdom, but fuck knows it's hard to be wise and in control of your emotions when the confrontational is real.

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benski Sunday, 29 Jan 2012 at 12:16am

Fantastic post mate.

The massive impact each of us can have on others is the main thing I'm taking away from it.

That and the beautiful and still attainable dream of days without the crowds like "1972".

Thanks for posting such an honest and humble piece of writing.

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niggly Sunday, 29 Jan 2012 at 10:23am

beautifully written. horrible situation, too commen,
peace

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therealneil Monday, 30 Jan 2012 at 2:13am

Great read, sad situation. Wonder if loudmouth was our very own backbitch?

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roubydouby Monday, 30 Jan 2012 at 3:03am

A very compelling piece of writing.

Wonderful to read a humbled telling of the grotesque realities of vioelence.

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whaaaat Monday, 30 Jan 2012 at 3:38am

It's one thing to want to know yourself.

But what do you do when you meet that part of yourself that you didn't know existed and don't find particularly noble, kind or even human?

Great, honest, affecting writing.

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nebasha Monday, 30 Jan 2012 at 3:49am

What a great read! I've never been in such a situation, and hopefully it'll stay that way. You see it happening and I always question myself, shouldn't I be doing something about it. Obviously LoudMouth has some relatives along the Australian coasts as I've seen them peddling in and fuck things up. Coward that I am, I always peddle away. Hopefully you get to put this behind you and enjoy comradery a line up sometimes brings you. Like this weekend. After a sweet ride peddling back to the line up this guy, in an attempt to catch a wave, wipes out planting his board close to where my face was. Ducking away his board literally digs a big hole in my board. First thing, as we both grasp for air we look at each other, clearly startled about the event, we simultaneously go: "you're all right mate?" Off course not happy with the ding on my board, but great memories of catching good waves and meeting this guy who turned out to be living a few blocks away from where I live.

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seal Monday, 30 Jan 2012 at 4:19am

So nebasha, what sort of bike do you ride? How do you get it to float? Tyres or outriggers?

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stunet Monday, 30 Jan 2012 at 4:25am

Ha...I was gonna comment on the paddling/peddling too.

Nice post though, Nebasha. So often it comes down to that initial confrontation and how each party reacts. Go in with your defences up and and there's a very real chance the other person will retaliate. Be humble and you may just make a friend.

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velocityjohnno Monday, 30 Jan 2012 at 5:11am

Very good piece of writing Blowin. I swear you were talking about ******** point this summer, I filled your words with its picture, and the characters out there. I could even see Loudmouth with my own eyes. When he dropped in on me, after screaming at everyone in the lineup to get out of his way all session, and I called him on it, he was not a happy chap. Nothing beyond grumbles was made of it.
My fights like this were at school, and I didn't win all of them. I'd be worried that an experience like this would colour my view of surfing, so good on you for getting over it. It is a little victory that so many of us can be out there over summer holidays, crowded into defined lineups, with no rules or street signs telling us how to behave and most of us can self-regulate and respect others; and there are relatively few collisions and altercations. Sometimes in the winter I am honestly looking for other people out in the water, gotta take your blessings when you can.
Lastly, even in "1972" in the Morning of the Earth era surfers went off their heads at each other, their equipment, judges etc... human nature.

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braithy Monday, 30 Jan 2012 at 5:17am

I felt myself tightening up just reading this.

Shame it seems to be happening more and more in my part of the world. Saw a few blues this holiday break.

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stuey Monday, 30 Jan 2012 at 7:13am

There is just never a Bull Shark when you need one! or is it "when Loud Mouth needs one"?

Thanks for the read. Made my C of a day.

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nebasha Monday, 30 Jan 2012 at 9:02am

So nebasha, what sort of bike do you ride? How do you get it to float? Tyres or outriggers?

By: "seal"

Nice one seal. So that's what i've been doing wrong all the time. Always wondered how other surfers could get waves so effortlessly. I'll give paddling a go next time i'm in the water.

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bookster Monday, 30 Jan 2012 at 9:26am

Good words, Blowin. Raised my own tension levels just reading them. I'm sitting here swimming in the wisdom, but fuck knows it's hard to be wise and in control of your emotions when the confrontational is real.

By: "stunet"

Good to see I wasn't the only one that got tense reading it... what a read. Guess I'm a lover not a fighter ;)

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crustt Monday, 30 Jan 2012 at 9:26am
"seal" wrote:

So nebasha, what sort of bike do you ride? How do you get it to float? Tyres or outriggers?

By: "nebasha"

Nice one seal. So that's what i've been doing wrong all the time. Always wondered how other surfers could get waves so effortlessly. I'll give paddling a go next time i'm in the water.

I thought ya musta been a Kiwi.

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nebasha Monday, 30 Jan 2012 at 9:37am
"nebasha" wrote:
"seal" wrote:

So nebasha, what sort of bike do you ride? How do you get it to float? Tyres or outriggers?

By: "crustt"

Nice one seal. So that's what i've been doing wrong all the time. Always wondered how other surfers could get waves so effortlessly. I'll give paddling a go next time i'm in the water.

I thought ya musta been a Kiwi.

worse... too ashamed to tell

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whetunui Monday, 30 Jan 2012 at 9:59am

Well written mate, and humble. Thank you for sharing and I hope you can find a bit of trust in humanity again. We are not all like this but I guess the reality is you have to be ready to face the ones who are.

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whetunui Monday, 30 Jan 2012 at 10:01am

AND nebasha, what is wrong with being a Kiwi ? Eh Bro ?

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zenagain Monday, 30 Jan 2012 at 10:13am

Yeah cuz, bein' a kiwi is choice 'eh bro.

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isurfasgoodasising Monday, 30 Jan 2012 at 10:16am

great read.. I could relate so easily. I f@#$in hate it when there is aggro in the water. I go there to relax and clear the mind. I can't stand idiots who somehow think they own a patch of beach. The rules of the surf need to be followed, they are there to keep people safe and to show some respect to our fellow surfers. But, shit sometimes happens and we all need to have a bit of patience and respect. More and more people are learning to surf nowadays, so its something we have to live with. No-one wins with aggro... oh, and one more thing - don't assume kooks can't fight. I saw a bloke who was obviously learning to surf get in some aggro shithead's way and they clashed resulting in dinged boards. The kook was apologetic. The aggro dude wanted to fight. They ended up on the beach. Aggro dude ended up on his arse. Kook dude was apparently some sort of martial arts expert. too funny!

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non-local Monday, 30 Jan 2012 at 11:21pm

Love it when crew get slapped down for being total fucktards. It is really funy when someone gets put on their arse in front of their so called hell crew. Don't stress about it blowin, it used to be common in the 70's and the 80's for the odd bit of biff in the water, try surfing Narrabeen or Hawaii in those days.
Surfing is supposed to be fun, and there is a lot of people taking too much to heart in the surf, there will always be another wave to surf so get over it.

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shaun Monday, 30 Jan 2012 at 11:39pm

Even Johnny boy had his ass kicked a few times in Hawaii when he called guys to the beach.

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victor Tuesday, 31 Jan 2012 at 12:39am

recall johnny boy got flogged by perry dane,good biff then broke johnnys arm......perry then said johnny deserved more.........any time he wants to go again 'im fucking ready'

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victor Tuesday, 31 Jan 2012 at 12:54am

Ben aipa punched M.P in the mouth- M.P. dropped in on mr aipa ,mr apia punched the fin clean out of M.P.s board, mr aipa's hand was hurting,so M.P. copped a left to the mouth..

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shaun Tuesday, 31 Jan 2012 at 2:18am

I think Jonny-boy got done over a couple of time that didn't get reported in mags, as he lived on an island full of howley kook surfers(by his standards) that were trained to kill.

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non-local Tuesday, 31 Jan 2012 at 2:56am

And lets not forget when king ranga Mick Campbell slipped a couple of fists into Andy Irons's noggin for being a loudmouth.

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ox Tuesday, 31 Jan 2012 at 8:16pm

Great read. Although Ive not actually been in a punchup over it I have had similar stoke ruining run-ins with crew that just dont get 'that vibe'

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pepe Wednesday, 22 Feb 2012 at 2:41am

Geez that read dragged up a few memories, have being the (young, drunk, not in surf) loudmouth worthy of a good fuckin' slapping and well received too I might add. Have also being in Blowin's shoes and given a few in defense. The thing is in some of the defense situations when you lose it, when control snaps followed by you sense of mind, you feel bad for quite a time afterwards. I dunno why. You replay the scene in your head thinking what a dickhead you were, but your thought and process completely went/goes at the time .... maybe this stays with you because you surprised (even frightened) yourself.

Who knows really, now I'm thankful for age and wisdom and have the tolerance to withstand, and can't be arsed, with loud months.

Cheers Blowin

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psingle Wednesday, 22 Feb 2012 at 9:37am

Hey Blowin, thanks for sharing this.

One of the curious things about becoming a parent is you find all these things inside yourself you never knew were there, and they just swing into action. I've wondered if the same was true for violence, because what you see in places like Cambodia is so inexplicable to someone from Aus. It seems like you picked the scab of this part of all of us, and wrote about it so well. Its the stuff of Conrad - "the horror".

Hope we meet at a break somewhere!

Blowin's picture
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Blowin Saturday, 23 May 2015 at 11:37pm

Old school

SurferFuk's picture
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SurferFuk Sunday, 24 May 2015 at 12:33am

Yep Mr B;)
With essence...?
Cheersmon;)

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wellymon Sunday, 24 May 2015 at 7:47am

Cool stuff Blowin again!
3 years later and all makes sense eh;)

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uplift Sunday, 24 May 2015 at 11:29am

There has been a mass 'movement' out this way. Whilst the tears are still flowing, people are stumbling about in shock, and are trying to just get on with things.

But it seems strange blownit that as you punch, scratch, spit on and screech at, plot against, and berate and pummel (God help us, not another one), 'the bag', you are able to understand so deeply, the dramatic, the earth shattering, the profound, the gut wrenching, the to this day, deep, far reaching, monumentous, shocking, horrendous, horrific, mind bending, life changing, life shaping, still bleeding (only God knows the full catastrophic nightmare), the... the... the? Shit, where was I? Oh yeh, thats right, the time that you were holidaying at that resort, and you had a tiff with another surfee. And then went on a prolonged surf trip, all over the country.

That you fully, to the depth of your being, totally grasp. Yet, the prolonged, centuries long rape, the raping women to death, the prolonged butchery of children, women, men, murder, humilation, attempted genocide, Cultural ravaging and obliteration... the stealing, destroying, and plundering of everything Traditional Indigenous Australians owned and loved? Licensed as vermin, to be exterminated... classified 'scientifically' as less than human. Just move on... get over it, in the sophisticated, advanced, superior, lucky country? Advance Australia fare?

Anyway, it sounds like you were caught up in the filming of Die Hard 14, amasing stuff! There is hope though...

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uncle_leroy Sunday, 24 May 2015 at 3:44pm

Chris Taloa on localism at Lunada Bay, Southern California
"Free Lunada Bay"
http://surfsplendorpodcast.com/024-chris-taloa-on-localism-at-lunada-bay...

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uplift Monday, 25 May 2015 at 10:05am

Fuck! Rich locals... holidays... loud mouths... uppity Indigenous folk in the mother country stuff... new town... pretty nurse... no anaesthetic... sounds like a job for blowy! Time to get orf the 'eavy bag' and crack, and jab a few surfee scones!

Blow jab! I like it, its got a ring to it! Blow jabber! Gooooooo blow jabber!!!! I like it!!!

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roubydouby Thursday, 3 Mar 2016 at 10:39am

Brilliant, Blowin.
Got the emotions coursing.
Violence and anger is self-degradation in the extreme.
Breathe and step away.

Great writing.

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talkingturkey Thursday, 3 Mar 2016 at 11:14am
uplift wrote:

Fuck! Rich locals... holidays... loud mouths... uppity Indigenous folk in the mother country stuff... new town... pretty nurse... no anaesthetic... sounds like a job for blowy! Time to get orf the 'eavy bag' and crack, and jab a few surfee scones!

Blow jab! I like it, its got a ring to it! Blow jabber! Gooooooo blow jabber!!!! I like it!!!

Hah! Nailed it!

talkingturkey's picture
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talkingturkey Thursday, 3 Mar 2016 at 5:41pm

And the lesson? Don't smoke weed halfway through a session. For some it doesn't seem to mix too good especially with a bit of unexpected adrenaline.

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wellymon Thursday, 3 Mar 2016 at 8:48pm

Am I missing something here?
Ben commented in" Wax On > Praise The Lord?" to Blowin straight after Talkingturkey's post???????
Uuuuummmmmm

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grog-an Thursday, 3 Mar 2016 at 9:57pm

Talking turkey is uplift. The only person that is a big enough fuckwit to agree with his incoherent rants is himself.

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blindboy Thursday, 3 Mar 2016 at 10:11pm

Excuse me grog but uplift is the finest exponent of the literary technique of stream of consciousness since James Joyce. The fragments he publishes here are part of a great master work anxiously awaited by the global litcrit community

zenagain's picture
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zenagain Thursday, 3 Mar 2016 at 10:34pm

Yeah BB, Dostoevsky, Proust, Kerouac- they've got nothing on Uplift. Bloomin' amateurs.

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talkingturkey Friday, 4 Mar 2016 at 1:25pm

Ha ha, Grogan you must have some sort of alert system set up whenever Uplift gets a mention on here? Something like these?

https://twitter.com/trumpwatch

https://www.pinterest.com/Bieberbelieber3/bieber-alert-bieber-alert/

http://bullyalertapp.com/

What did Uplift do to you?

I find it fascinating that he seems to have really got under so many skins on here so successfully. Even the mention of him and his 'work' gets a froth on.

Truly amasing.

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southey Friday, 4 Mar 2016 at 1:52pm

nothing worse than off topic ramblings , thats why he was much " loved " ..... besides its much easier to tolerate him here than in person , protein farts and all ......
ooops i did an uppy .... totally wrong tangent .
nusdifusuidhfuisfushiufhipjfuipjarup
seifiweuiofhiwehfihifhweifi ..... sebfbuosefseefuohuo blacks yfbwebfEFUBWEUFBWEUBU WEIGHTS usdfsriogfuiashfubuobagfububfusdbfubsdubfusdbfhubsubfusd

yeah that should cover it
i really don't see why he isn't lauded than laughed at .

talkingturkey's picture
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talkingturkey Friday, 4 Mar 2016 at 2:49pm

Southey, didn't he refer to you as Chicken Soufflé? Something to do with Blacks and piking or claiming or some such? Set the record straight if you will. Enquiring minds need to know.

Uplift doesn't seem to be on here anymore so go for it!