Clubbie craps in his cap

stunet's picture
stunet started the topic in Wednesday, 12 Apr 2017 at 2:26pm

Time was when clubbies were pillars of society and surfers were ne'er-do-wells. The SLSA was a nation-building movement creating strong, industrious men of integrity etc etc. And though the stereotypes are aged who doesn't delight in a spot of role reversal?

Earlier this month when pro surfers were performing for the cameras at Snapper, giving polite interviews, or pissing in a bottle to prove their purity, their clubbie brethren were tieing one on at Burleigh RSL. Their behaviour degenerated to the point where one clubbie from Queenscliff RSL - same club Tony Abbott and Mike Baird are members of - shat into his cap and put it on a table at the club.

The Gold Coast Bulletin is covering the scandal with some sober reporting. Second line of the story reads: "The big stink involves a boat crew member from...."

stunet's picture
stunet's picture
stunet commented Wednesday, 12 Apr 2017 at 2:27pm

Parp

zenagain's picture
zenagain's picture
zenagain commented Wednesday, 12 Apr 2017 at 3:51pm

Steady on, this is the sort of behaviour our forefathers fought for.

Watashi wa metabo oyagi desu.

chook's picture
chook's picture
chook commented Wednesday, 12 Apr 2017 at 4:47pm

pass me the hat, thanks.

Rabbits68's picture
Rabbits68's picture
Rabbits68 commented Wednesday, 12 Apr 2017 at 4:58pm

Certainly puts a different spin on "passing the hat around".........

Crystal Clear

simba's picture
simba's picture
simba commented Wednesday, 12 Apr 2017 at 5:36pm

Was it Big Tone?

simba

Wharfjunkie's picture
Wharfjunkie's picture
Wharfjunkie commented Wednesday, 12 Apr 2017 at 5:48pm

These the same people who pay backpackers a measly commission to hassle shoppers for donations at supermarkets.

Wharfjunkie's picture
Wharfjunkie's picture
Wharfjunkie commented Wednesday, 12 Apr 2017 at 5:48pm

These the same people who pay backpackers a measly commission to hassle shoppers for donations at supermarkets.

tonybarber's picture
tonybarber's picture
tonybarber commented Wednesday, 12 Apr 2017 at 5:51pm

Ahhh, we surfers have never done anything like that have we ...
Nah, TonyA puts his potatoes in the front on his cossies not the back.

wally's picture
wally's picture
wally commented Wednesday, 12 Apr 2017 at 6:49pm

The surf boat competitors, they are a mad crew who pride themselves on being nuts.

I don't think they necessarily reflect the broader SLSA community.

blindboy's picture
blindboy's picture
blindboy commented Wednesday, 12 Apr 2017 at 10:59pm

Clubbies eh? What a bunch! If they were ever entirely respectable it was well before my time. Porno nights, prostitutes, drunken rampages, whipping the old feller out for a piss in a crowded car park, shitting in a hat, all good fun.

Laurie McGinness

simba's picture
simba's picture
simba commented Thursday, 13 Apr 2017 at 6:13am

yep up standing members (pun) of the community........so next time they knock on your door for a donation dig deep,could be for new hats.

simba

terrance's picture
terrance's picture
terrance commented Thursday, 13 Apr 2017 at 7:40pm

Maybe instead of an online review of the joint, he did an in-person review!

Disgusting act no doubt, but gee wizz, let's start throwing a few stones from inside the glass house. All sporting organisations have had a few idiots under the influence of whatever doing real dumb stuff they regret.

As disgusting as it was, let's think about an act a lot worse on a surf journo by a surf photographer in south africa that a lot of the surf media (probably a few that write/get promoted on swellnet) wanted kept quiet (which happened for a while). Shame! Lucky we have some on-line websites that don't encourage censorship.

Was that worse than the "crappy clubby from queensy''?

Wharfjunkie's picture
Wharfjunkie's picture
Wharfjunkie commented Thursday, 13 Apr 2017 at 7:55pm

a surf journo is there really journos in the surf game unbiased ?

terrance's picture
terrance's picture
terrance commented Thursday, 13 Apr 2017 at 8:10pm

Or a surf journo that's mildly intelligent and not never-endlessly seeking approval from anyone, anywhere?

(note: unfortunately, stunet seems to be be top of that useless pile at the moment!)

Blowin's picture
Blowin's picture
Blowin commented Friday, 14 Apr 2017 at 4:24pm

Sounds like Terrence got touched up by the boat crew ....and liked it.

Don't feel too bad mate, happens to people quite a bit apparently.

I had a few mates that were in the Surf Club boat crew, it wasn't too surprising when it was revealed that they were regularly rooting each other unbeknownst to their girlfriends .

It was pretty obvious looking back. Their idea of cutting loose involved a whole lot more boys only nudity and " wrestling " than any other blokes I knew.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Halfscousehalfcockneyfullaussie's picture
Halfscousehalfcockneyfullaussie's picture
Halfscousehalfc... commented Friday, 14 Apr 2017 at 7:17pm

Who cares, most of us have been out on the grog and done or witnessed stupid things with other surfers, on footy trips, end of year sport events etc. grubby? Yes, funny at the time? Most likely. Is going to end the world? No. get on with it

blindboy's picture
blindboy's picture
blindboy commented Friday, 14 Apr 2017 at 11:11pm

Fair enough, but as one scouser to another, not having lived a particularly protected life, I have to say I have never encountered a shit in a hat. Some things, however much you regret them later, were understandable in the circumstances. Shitting in a hat? Nah, that's seriously fucked up shit (literally).

Laurie McGinness

Halfscousehalfcockneyfullaussie's picture
Halfscousehalfcockneyfullaussie's picture
Halfscousehalfc... commented Saturday, 15 Apr 2017 at 7:55am

Ha, had a few beers last night and was a bit short. Yes a shit in a hat is disgusting no doubt, and I have never encountered this myself. However to make the Gold Coast bulletin?? Surely there's better things to report.

GuySmiley's picture
GuySmiley's picture
GuySmiley commented Saturday, 15 Apr 2017 at 8:24am

I can't read the link as its paywalled but I hope the headline was Shit for Brains!

terrance's picture
terrance's picture
terrance commented Sunday, 16 Apr 2017 at 7:14pm

Blowin, understand now how you got your nickname, it was from your clubbie mates...

AndyM's picture
AndyM's picture
AndyM commented Sunday, 16 Apr 2017 at 7:32pm

If it was literally fucked up shit, someone would have been rooting the poo in the hat.

velocityjohnno's picture
velocityjohnno's picture
velocityjohnno commented Sunday, 16 Apr 2017 at 8:42pm

Parcopresis is the clinical name for "bashful bowel syndrome," the inability to defecate in public toilets. This type of phobia is most prevalent among the public restroom phobias due to the need for sitting down, and being confined in a tight, "germ-filled" bathroom stall.

AndyM's picture
AndyM's picture
AndyM commented Sunday, 16 Apr 2017 at 9:22pm

Fascinating VJ, just fascinating - whenever I get shy and have trouble crimping one off, that's when the hat comes out.

zenagain's picture
zenagain's picture
zenagain commented Sunday, 16 Apr 2017 at 11:00pm

Years ago I was at Cocktails and Dreams for a work party and a pretty loose bloke I no longer know (thank goodness) took a girls handbag to the dunny and deposited a big old turd in it and returned to it's original position while his mate had been distracting her.

I wasn't around to see what happened when she found out, but I thought that was hilarious at the time. With age and maturity I now realise it was the lowest of the low.

No he wasn't a surfer, he was a chef can you believe it?

Watashi wa metabo oyagi desu.

Blowin's picture
Blowin's picture
Blowin commented Monday, 17 Apr 2017 at 6:02am

Remember when Rodney Rudes grandfather hired that hooker and told her he wanted to do something really kinky ?

So he gets her to take her clothes off and stand staring into the corner of the room.

After 1/2 an hour she's puzzled and says " I thought we were going to do something kinky "

Rodney's grandfather says " I already did . I shit in your purse. "

goofyfoot's picture
goofyfoot's picture
goofyfoot commented Monday, 17 Apr 2017 at 6:54am

Hahah
Along with his brother who was always "finding" things...

stunet's picture
stunet's picture
stunet commented Monday, 17 Apr 2017 at 9:28am

Many years ago I hung around with a fella who would've mad a good boatie if he was so inclined. Definitely shared the same twisted proclivities. When we were teens a bunch of us rocked up at Treachery early one morning and began setting up camp. Old mate disappeared for a few minutes then came back and said, "Fellas, I've done a turd and you have to guess where."

For a day or so we tiptoed around camp, checked sleeping bags, stubbie holders, everything because each footstep or placed finger was potentially a distaster. Turned out it was at the bottom of another mates jar of cream cheese. He'd emptied it out, taken a dump, then filled it up. That stunt didn't go down too well - metaphorically not literally fortunately.

Another time he ate a McRib from Engadine Maccas, took the carton into the dunny, then did his business. He then deposited the carton, replete with new ingredients, on the counter saying, "I'm not eating this shit."

However, his piece de resistance was a crap taken on the bonnet of a mates car, finished off with a peeled banana stuck in it like a leaping Jaguar hood ornament. It was creative depravity.

zenagain's picture
zenagain's picture
zenagain commented Monday, 17 Apr 2017 at 9:47am

And now he's a high flying human rights lawyer?

Watashi wa metabo oyagi desu.

stunet's picture
stunet's picture
stunet commented Monday, 17 Apr 2017 at 10:41am

Builder I believe, though I'm told he now uses a port-a-loo when on site.

zenagain's picture
zenagain's picture
zenagain commented Monday, 17 Apr 2017 at 10:52am

Reason I asked is that I know a bloke whom I've never liked, filthy, arrogant, pig of a man, no respect for anything and anyone, with very similar habits to your mate above. Now he's an exec in one of Australias biggest fossil fuel companies. Pulls in about 800k a year.

Couldn't have gone to a least deserving fellow.

(PS that's no slur on human rights lawyers, just the first thing that popped into my mind).

Watashi wa metabo oyagi desu.

terrance's picture
terrance's picture
terrance commented Monday, 17 Apr 2017 at 6:14pm

Blowin, that was Rodney Rude himself that pooped in the hookers purse whilst she stood on her head in the corner (i.e. "he wanted to do something kinky'').

His grandad use to have a root once a month except in January, "cause the bloke who lifted him on and off was on holidays''.

Has the ''crapping clubby from queensy'' been promoted to club captain (or a one week suspension from the club?).

terrance's picture
terrance's picture
terrance commented Monday, 17 Apr 2017 at 9:36pm

So stunet, you bag out the "'clubby cap crapper'' and his whole organisation with some pretentious, self-serving, try-hard act of self-importance , easily getting the brain-dead forum punters here to nod their vacant heads in agreement to your theory that surfers are now more socialised and respectful than joe-clubbie, but yet, you rejoice in hanging out with "'Bob the defecating builder'', still happy to eat your new special blend of cream cheese and triumph in this anal ejecting antics in family-eating establishments, etc.?

I'm hoping you see your hypocrisy? Are you in the right job?

Happy Easter by the way.

groundswell's picture
groundswell's picture
groundswell commented Monday, 17 Apr 2017 at 9:48pm

Yeah happy Easter, not as bad as making a guy drink piss. Which is what i regrettfully did once.
I pissed in a cup earlier on one night. I had a Bintang shirt on and later on a guy says whoah ive been to bali too. I says you havent been to bali till youve drunk the Jungle juice. Still wonder about how that guys gonna get me back.

terrance's picture
terrance's picture
terrance commented Monday, 17 Apr 2017 at 10:06pm

groundswell, as long as it improved his breath, I'd say it was a win-win situation.

stunet's picture
stunet's picture
stunet commented Tuesday, 18 Apr 2017 at 6:44am

Ha ha...bit slow, old Terrance. Hows about laying another of your highly inteligent posts on us mate?

terrance's picture
terrance's picture
terrance commented Tuesday, 18 Apr 2017 at 9:40am

Will do, but later in the week.

stunet's picture
stunet's picture
stunet commented Tuesday, 18 Apr 2017 at 9:55am

Busy posting on other websites?

zenagain's picture
zenagain's picture
zenagain commented Tuesday, 18 Apr 2017 at 10:30am

Tyler Durdan/Brian Wu?

Watashi wa metabo oyagi desu.

terrance's picture
terrance's picture
terrance commented Tuesday, 18 Apr 2017 at 11:51am

Nah, busy week. Unfortunately.

truebluebasher's picture
truebluebasher's picture
truebluebasher commented Wednesday, 19 Apr 2017 at 5:03pm

Ode to 2017 Aussie's (Mud Army).

Aussie's were cancelled, bit of a dud.
All got a dose of Debbie's bad blood.
Best rescue gear but no flipper for flood.
Still shovellin' shit or is that clubbie's mud.

innatube's picture
innatube's picture
innatube commented Friday, 21 Apr 2017 at 7:22am

In NQ back in the late 70's a clubbie told me of one of their little games called Soggie Sao.
A few of them would gather in a circle around a Sao biscuit and flog themselves until they'd all spoofed on the biscuit . Last one had to eat it. Never got invited to that one fortunately.

Then of course there was the AJ's favourite game called Freckles. One contender would lay a turd on the table surrounded by his mates then someone would belt the said turd with a lump of 3x2 and they'd see who would end up with the most freckles. Enlightened times.

GuySmiley's picture
GuySmiley's picture
GuySmiley commented Friday, 21 Apr 2017 at 7:50am

Perhaps this forum topic could be renamed "uniquely Australian values".