Submitted by Blowin on Sun, 05/25/2014 - 19:54
The idea was to get in early and surf with as close to no crowds as possible. So we made arrangements and left the next day. Met a few boys with a similar idea at the departure point and we were away. Word was that we'd lucked in, only one or two surfers already insitu and as the boat rode over the thick swells moving cleanly through the oily seas excitement levels were building.
We arrived to a near empty camp , the wet season only now making its mind up whether to bail or hang on for a little while longer. The jungle is always threatening to reclaim lost territory here and the life bringing rains and lack of humans during the off season had seen a reversion to a more primordial state. The local caretakers having their work cut out for them as they began to wrest the small parcel of civilisation back from the relentless encroachment of the scrub and it's inhabitants.
Myself and my lady got a place away from the other crew and started unpacking , I was pretty anxious to get out there for a couple and it took me a few minutes before I noticed him sitting on a verandah staring at me. Just staring. There was nothing pleasant about his demeanour and I was in no mood to fuck around so I just grabbed my shit and got out there.
When I got back he was gone. So was my wax. I knew it had been him , but fuck, it's only wax and what are you going to do anyway.
Days went by and life was grand . Falling into the rhythm of surf, eat, surf, eat, surf, talk shit over a beer or two then sleep. For me it doesn't really get any better. Great crew and great waves. Everything was perfect except for old mate who sauntered around like he owned the joint with his little posse trailing along behind him every where he went. More of my shit went missing too. Only small things ,but it was starting to drive me wild. I actually started baiting the prick and laying low hoping he would reveal himself for the thief he was , but he was too clever.
Things came to a head one lunchtime towards the end of my stay. I hate to admit it but I was actually a bit intimidated by the bastard and had been avoiding him . So I was sitting there eating with the missus with no one else around, and along he strolls bold as brass , eyeing me off again. Without making a sound he sat down at the other end of the table we were sitting at and continues to stare. I'd had a gut full of this bullshit and stared back , daring him to do something.
Big mistake. He leapt up on the table and ran down its length screaming his lungs out with his teeth bared. Stunned, I threw myself back out of my seat just as he reached where I was sitting and readied myself for a fight. But before I could react properly he'd grabbed my sandwich and was gone up into the rafters, to sit and eat my lunch with what he thought was impunity.
Fuck that. I started looking around on the ground and found broken pieces of tile to use as missiles, but this was not old mates first felony and he realised he'd pushed the wrong man too far this time and tried to make good his escape. But not before I got off one lucky shot that hit him dead square , making an audible sound on impact and sent him nearly spinning out of the rafters.
He leapt to the floor and bolted with a noticeable miss in his stride. My sandwich lay half eaten on the ground where he had dropped it. Lunch was ruined but I felt good. I had vanquished my foe , no meal tastes as sweet as victory.
I didn't see him again until the next day and by then he had resumed carrying himself with his usual extravagant arrogance as though the incident had never occurred . He knew , after all , that chumps like me would come and go and that he would always be the true king of the camp.
So now when people are referring to the dangers posed by the man in the grey suit ,my mind flashes straight to the man in the furry grey suit and the warnings posted on the door to the cabins at that camp in the jungle that I ignored to my peril :
Awas means Beware. Beware the Grey Monkeys. They are always watching. This is their forest.
This is great Blowin. Didn't cotton on to it being a Monkey till half way through.
Good writing, made me smile. Cheers.
Whoops, spoiler alert.
Wanted to get my comment off the front page.
Classic Blowin, cheeeky little fellas, " I had vanquished my foe , no meal tastes as sweet as victory."
A good mate of mine in WA, calls grey suits, 'Great Whites' lucky they don't swing from the rafters and steal ya sandwiches.
Our brains are too small at the moment to comprehend the reality of what's happening in our forests . We're only just waking up so to speak . The big problem is we think we know everything, we are specks of dust on a timeline and we know nothing .
Yeah , great read Blowin . Took my mind to a better place.
Me and the missus were camped up in nth Sumatra couple of years ago and got raided one morning by about 50 of the bastards adults through to babies . They looked real cute till they started screaming and charging ,quite intimidating indeed then happily disappeared back into the jungle with whatever food they could carry.
Gotta say as travelling surfers through parts of the world we get to see some pretty cool shit.I 'll be back up there in a month this time with kids in tow and show em how to live without the mod cons,cant wait .
Should've challenged him to a surf off.
I had one chew through my legrope once! Cheeky little fuckers;(
Maybe you could send the little bastard to Siberia to learn some manners.
Classic Zenagain, what does the sign say " Beware Of Fury Grey Suits Stealing Sandwiches "...?
Nah, nothing like that Welly.
It says roughly the area behind the monkey is prone to avalanche and there's been several in the past, be careful.
Further in there's signs saying don't feed them, try to touch them, make eye contact etc.
Worth checking out if you're over here, these are the ones that swim in the hot springs.
Gold , Prone to avalanche , love it ;)
Thought it might of said great steep tree lines beyond be careful!!!!!
Surf off ? No chance. While I may beat him by a small margin on general competency, he'd flog me when it came to style.
Monkeys rule in general competency as well Blowin......! Especially mischievous mastery.
That was the beneficial thing about Costa Rica. The sloths were too slow.
Just saw Tom and Jerry in a surf off with Droopy Dog. If that monkey had 1 percent of their skills I'd have been toast. Aren't Tom and Jerry supposed to hate each other ?
Got to love cartoons in a foreign language.
Top read Blowin...was thinking whose this prick and his bastard gang think they are trying it on with the tourists. Then bam...it's those little fuckers swinging from the rafters.
You've given me flashbacks to similar incidents with toilet paper entwined through trees, missing soap, wax, toothpaste and the odd condom. Hilarious when someone else is on the receiving end.. not so funny when it's your stuff scattered around the yard.