The List

totem-of-scrotum's picture
totem-of-scrotum started the topic in Monday, 15 Nov 2010 at 5:53am

1 wetty tub
1 set FCS G5 back left pocket
1 set FCS H2 back right pocket
5 FCS keys spread randomly throughout the car
2 blocks of Palmers
1 bottle opener
1 big fuck-off fishing knife
1 spare set of thongs
3 towels in varying states of dampness/mould growth

That is all a car needs. Am I missing anything?

heals's picture
heals's picture
heals commented Monday, 15 Nov 2010 at 6:39am

I can think of a few things, but how about 'an engine'?

totem-of-scrotum's picture
totem-of-scrotum's picture
totem-of-scrotum commented Monday, 15 Nov 2010 at 6:59am

Well there's a thread killer!

Yeah an engine Heals, and a fucking exhauste pipe too, and a carby, and a muffler, and wheels....four of them. Five if you're a safety officer and actually carry a spare wheel. Six if you count the steering wheel.

Let's retitle it' Essential Items' then.

And I'll add a tube of zinc and a roll of duct tape.

heals's picture
heals's picture
heals commented Monday, 15 Nov 2010 at 7:36am

Yeah totes, I've never considered the engine as being 'essential' to my car :)

benski's picture
benski's picture
benski commented Monday, 15 Nov 2010 at 8:07am

I don't know if 5 FCS keys are enough.

totem-of-scrotum's picture
totem-of-scrotum's picture
totem-of-scrotum commented Monday, 15 Nov 2010 at 9:01am

Well it seems to be an inviolable Law of the Universe that I can put my hands on only one at a time. I know the other four are lurking somewhere - under the parking fines in the glovebox, stuck in the crevice of the backseat, stowed in one of the many easy-to-forget compartments - but gathering them all together would be a feat worthy of an 'arry Po'er fillem.

Harry Potter and the Circle of Fin Keys.

thermalben's picture
thermalben's picture
thermalben commented Monday, 15 Nov 2010 at 9:10am

Leggie strings.

Nothing worse than breaking one out in the desert and your spare leggie doesn't have one.

Pretty funny when it happens to a mate though!

benski's picture
benski's picture
benski commented Monday, 15 Nov 2010 at 9:13am

And that's what I mean, I just don't know if 5 is enough.

leggie strings in the desert eh? I wonder what Bear Grylls would do.

stunet's picture
stunet's picture
stunet commented Monday, 15 Nov 2010 at 10:01am

He'd use the sun-dried intestines of a hand-slaughtered wallaby, cut to length and tied in a reef knot. 'Cause it would only be aired on the PG version.

There's no piece of equipment that punches above it's weight like a leggy string. Skinny little fucker that it is. So seemingly insignificant but the consequences of not having it are severe. When leggy companies started bringing out their kit with the leggy string sewn in I thought it was a brilliant piece of design. Right up there with the thruster...

But now I've noticed some of them have gone back to the old ways where the string is supplied but not sewn in. And subsequently I've been caught a few times with an old leggy, new board and nothing in between.

stunet's picture
stunet's picture
stunet commented Monday, 15 Nov 2010 at 10:04am

Good list too Mr Totem. Wish the blokes I surfed with were as comprehensive as yourself. Save me having to conduct such tiresome chores as buying wax.

stuz's picture
stuz's picture
stuz commented Monday, 15 Nov 2010 at 10:28am

Bucketloads of sand , dont worry if your girlfriend/partner/wife complains about it getting in her arse crack while she sits in the passenger seat. Top it all off with a generous helping of wet dog hair.

Stu

timberskills's picture
timberskills's picture
timberskills commented Monday, 15 Nov 2010 at 10:58am

double pack of rizzla papers in case you end up in the car park at caves!

ps i reckon if Bear Gryls was in the desert with no leggy string he'd probably rip the scrotum off a big red, dry it out infront of the fire over night, then he'd twine it in his mouth, tie it up and away he goes!

ledzep

zenagain's picture
zenagain's picture
zenagain commented Monday, 15 Nov 2010 at 11:38am

You beat me to it timberskills- was going to say a packet of tally-ho`s in the glove box, so I`ll add to that by saying a lighter. Failing that, empty Orchy bottle, piece of mum`s ever-diminishing garden hose and an empty Coke can.

Also, an old copy of Tracks or Line-up when it used to be on newspaper print to use as dunny paper.

Watashi wa metabo oyagi desu.

Craig's picture
Craig's picture
Craig commented Monday, 15 Nov 2010 at 8:19pm

Old orange juice container for water storage. Could of been sitting in the car months between trips but still gets used like it's brand new :o

And I have to say a good headlight/strap around the head with a torch is worth it's weight in gold when night kicks in. So much better than trying to use the light from a phone screen..

And one final thing, no one has mentioned the wax comb??

Nothing worse than trying to grate some grooves into the wax with your keys or a rock on the ground!

non-local's picture
non-local's picture
non-local commented Monday, 15 Nov 2010 at 8:42pm

1. Surfboard
2. Wetsuit

no need for all the rest as someone will have wax, someone else will have a towel and someone else will have a hot chick to perv on. Keep it simple!

one good turn deserves another

totem-of-scrotum's picture
totem-of-scrotum's picture
totem-of-scrotum commented Monday, 15 Nov 2010 at 9:20pm

I like your minimalist-style thinking NL. But wax has gone up to around $5 a cake around here. I love my mates like brothers, but not enough to shell out that sort of money.

And I'm with craig. One of those head torches that frees up both hands has to be considered an Essential Item. Sounds like a luxury till you use one. Ever tried to roll a doob or pack a cone with a torch in one hand? Yeah, that's why it's essential.

stunet's picture
stunet's picture
stunet commented Monday, 15 Nov 2010 at 10:12pm

I wouldn't put them in the 'essential' category - certainly they won't help you pack a cone - but I carry a pair of flippers and a handsurfer in my car with me all the time now. Just whack 'em in the wetsuit tub and use when required - small days, closeout days, etc...Gets you in the water a whole lot more.

thermalben's picture
thermalben's picture
thermalben commented Monday, 15 Nov 2010 at 10:26pm

Actually, now that we're getting fancy, I used to carry a 20L container of water in the back of the car for a quick freshwater rinse off after a surf. You may jest - but in the searing summer heat of a dusty carpark, it's a worthy investment.

gannet's picture
gannet's picture
gannet commented Monday, 15 Nov 2010 at 10:57pm

bog paper

dial's picture
dial's picture
dial commented Monday, 15 Nov 2010 at 11:39pm

Wax combo not only in the back of your car but hidden under bushes and rocks at your favourite surf breaks.

Craig's picture
Craig's picture
Craig commented Monday, 15 Nov 2010 at 11:45pm

Gannet! Spot on, forgot about that.

Nothing worse than getting the pre-surf excitement and then having no bog paper to wipe yourself after doing the business in the bushes.

Two more to add would be a loaf of bread and peanut butter. Gets you though the munchies most of the time!

kieru's picture
kieru's picture
kieru commented Monday, 15 Nov 2010 at 11:58pm

fancy? you ain't seen nothin'!

a thermos with hot water
a 2 litre bottle with water water
stand in wettie tub, mix waters and pour over head for a head to toe shower any place, time or season...aahhhhh!

....... or would Bear think i'm a wuss?

thermalben's picture
thermalben's picture
thermalben commented Tuesday, 16 Nov 2010 at 12:07am

Wow, I am impressed kieru. never thought to use the thermos to such effect.

Actually, I also keep a pair of binoculars in the car. Handy for checking out those distant whitewater lines on the horizon.

kieru's picture
kieru's picture
kieru commented Tuesday, 16 Nov 2010 at 12:07am

oops ... i forgot the sun-screen to wipe on the dash, door handles, mirrors and wind-screen.

totem-of-scrotum's picture
totem-of-scrotum's picture
totem-of-scrotum commented Tuesday, 16 Nov 2010 at 12:16am

Thermos for a shower...? Woah there.

Here I was thinking gannet was being a prima-donna by bringing bog paper - what's wrong with a page of the street directory? - but you've just taken the trough lollie. Don't think we'd do too good on a surf trip together kieru.

A shower. On a surf trip. Well I never...

kieru's picture
kieru's picture
kieru commented Tuesday, 16 Nov 2010 at 12:18am

'whitewater lines' ......yeah sure! ... maybe it's just me but binocs, beach and checking out add up to just one thing?

kieru's picture
kieru's picture
kieru commented Tuesday, 16 Nov 2010 at 12:23am

dam! guess that'll explain why i've never had a mate with a name as cool as yours mr. scrotum.

stunet's picture
stunet's picture
stunet commented Tuesday, 16 Nov 2010 at 12:51am

So if the essential list is only about six items long (which includes bog paper BTW), why the hell are surfshops so full of....stuff??

Eh?

radbone08's picture
radbone08's picture
radbone08 commented Tuesday, 16 Nov 2010 at 12:59am

good old cd or ipod

Peace out Zac

benski's picture
benski's picture
benski commented Tuesday, 16 Nov 2010 at 1:26am

Bear grills wouldn't use warm water from a thermos for a shower, he'd use his own tool to make a...um, shower.

If this is now a surf trip list for the car, then sure you've gotta have a cd or two thrown in there. Gotta have a bit of Canned Heat for when you're Goin Up The Country!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=audxGqo5AkQ

totem-of-scrotum's picture
totem-of-scrotum's picture
totem-of-scrotum commented Tuesday, 16 Nov 2010 at 3:21am

Woah! How's the hair farmers in that clip? And the choreographed leg kicks the flautist and guitarist were throwing, which were only out of time by a second or two. If fashion goes in cycles when the hell is that shit coming back in?

And yeayh, the list. Just what you need to deck out a good surf wagon.

gannet's picture
gannet's picture
gannet commented Tuesday, 16 Nov 2010 at 3:55am

How bout the 4 wheeling caper?

Getting to those out of the way spots requires a whole new list of essentials: shovel and tow rope for starters, few tools (apart from the mates). What else?

spongebob's picture
spongebob's picture
spongebob commented Tuesday, 16 Nov 2010 at 4:39am

There's nothing more uggly than used bog roll strewn about the bushes.
Craigs loaf of bread is the answer,a couple of slices & off you go,when your finished just feed it to the seagulls.

thermalben's picture
thermalben's picture
thermalben commented Tuesday, 16 Nov 2010 at 4:57am

Erm spongebob, I didn't read Craig's suggested loaf of bread as being a replacement for bog roll.

He did mention peanut butter at the same.. oh gawd, no... surely it can't be!

k-b's picture
k-b's picture
k-b commented Tuesday, 16 Nov 2010 at 6:44am

Absolutely diggin' that music!

Umm, has anyone mentioned beer??
Or the ever so wonderful esky itself, if not for beer, then for the idea of lunch on the run?

chill;;

stunet's picture
stunet's picture
stunet commented Tuesday, 16 Nov 2010 at 9:03am

How many slices would you need to wipe your bum Bob? I wouldn't attempt it with any less than eight slices of the heaviest rye.

k-b's picture
k-b's picture
k-b commented Tuesday, 16 Nov 2010 at 10:28am

HAHA!
Long loaf of french bread? That ought to get them 'hard to reach places'.

chill;;

spongebob's picture
spongebob's picture
spongebob commented Tuesday, 16 Nov 2010 at 11:06am

Come on guys we are trying to be eco friendly here.
Stunet you can get down to four slices if use both sides.

floyd's picture
floyd's picture
floyd commented Tuesday, 16 Nov 2010 at 8:31pm

Many excellent and funny contributions to the list.

I would add a camera to the list, a cheapie that if it gets stolen or trashed it doesn't matter. You then get great pics of the surf, your mates and places you have been. Its those quick pics down the coast that often are best over time.

thelostclimber's picture
thelostclimber's picture
thelostclimber commented Wednesday, 24 Nov 2010 at 4:06am

your dog to guard your stuff while you're surfing. damn car park thieves.

fresh off the tree gum leaves are quite acceptable as a replacement for bog roll. Eucalyptus oil is very soothing.

batfink_and_karate's picture
batfink_and_karate's picture
batfink_and_karate commented Wednesday, 1 Dec 2010 at 2:14am

e wrote: When leggy companies started bringing out their kit with the leggy string sewn in I thought it was a brilliant piece of design. Right up there with the thruster...

I used to like you Stu, but that does it.

I hate, with a passion, those damned leggies with the leggy string sewn in.

I hate 'em I do. Hate them all to hell.

Canned Heat, going up the country, gotta love that. I haven't heard that song in ages.

French baguette for arse-wiping? Man I hope it isn't one of those really nasty hard edged ones, you could find yourself drawing blood.

Bog roll is a good idea, but honestly, with sand everywhere, it has to go into the luxury items bag.

Keep this going gentlemen, it's useful.

As someone who nearly blew his engine up lately, plenty of water is on my list, and preferably a radiator that doesn't have a big hole in it. That would be good.

stunet's picture
stunet's picture
stunet commented Wednesday, 1 Dec 2010 at 2:58am

When you buy shoes Batfink, do they shoelaces on them? When you buy boardies do they have a drawstring attached? Or do you carry your own laces and string?

Leggies fall in the same category, if they all had that string attached then you would never have to worry about keeping them handy 'just in case'.

That said, I have been sporting a leggy string around my wrist of late. It's my lone piece of surf jewellery and it does look rather fetching.

freeride76's picture
freeride76's picture
freeride76 commented Wednesday, 1 Dec 2010 at 3:04am

I tell ya, I've had to cut the friggin drawstring out of my boardies pleenty of times for a leggy string.

Usually on those big days when you pull out your biggest board and realise it hasn't got a string.

But I'm with Batfink: I still hate the leggy with attached string. Just somehow seems like an crime against humanity.

happy-g's picture
happy-g's picture
happy-g commented Wednesday, 1 Dec 2010 at 3:23am

For me it's almost essential to have a rottweiler, combination safe or taipan to stop my two lazy ass sons pinching all my gear.Ah the joys of surfing with your kids !

zenagain's picture
zenagain's picture
zenagain commented Wednesday, 1 Dec 2010 at 11:51pm

Awwww... happy-g, the kids!! Don`t the little scalliwags make you smile? Cheeky rascals.

In retropect, I wish I had the Rottweiler to deter the prick that stole my beautiful brand new Rusty 6'3" from my car about 20 years ago in Broadbeach. If you`re reading this arsehole, I sincerely hope you turned your life around.

But, I`d like to add to the list and my aforementioned lighter and chunk of mums garden hose, a Stubbie Cooler. I never leave for a surf trip without one.

Watashi wa metabo oyagi desu.

pepe's picture
pepe's picture
pepe commented Friday, 3 Dec 2010 at 1:49pm

stick mag

A trusty old one that lives under the car seat and will never leave your car. It'll see you though many of the differing circumstances that are thrown up whilst on a session.

Pepe

prawnhead's picture
prawnhead's picture
prawnhead commented Friday, 3 Dec 2010 at 8:21pm

cable ties........you can fix just about anything with a packet of these...and yes i have used one as a leggie string....i also check the size of the u shaped door locking bracket on the frame of any car i buy.... gotta be the right size to open a beer

shaun's picture
shaun's picture
shaun commented Friday, 3 Dec 2010 at 8:59pm

Ive got nothing to say about this , I just want to just say that

I'm the scab you keep picking off and is there again the next day.