INDONESIA SURF TRIP, no one surfing -

& oh the food and beverage package for the alfwedo calhoun expwess
…sumsing to sing about for z fwencho spano exploratory missionaries ;)

“ The Swellent constituency had me halfway to believing I was some sort of random Seppo dickhead wanker with no surfing qualifications, knowledge or experience whatsoever”

…welllll
- ummmmm

…

& AW may well be the capitan of calhoun’s expwess
…with guarantees of birds like this faaaaaaark

-$end z muneeeee ;)

Amazing that people that we're kinda relevant in the surf world 30+ years ago still try use that to con everyday people today.
Tom Carrol and his "wellness camps" for $3500 per weekend are no different.

Before you get too excited JC, no way am i comparing you to TC, you're his chewed toe nails

^^^

same goes for the gatekeepers of yore

amazing that some of the biggest vigilante gatekeepers of yore lose their significance in the line up, and suddenly are willing to sell out once quiet spots all in the name of 'sharing'

the bastardisation of techo and social media language is incredibly nauseating

tearymasseuse wrote:

“ The Swellent constituency had me halfway to believing I was some sort of random Seppo dickhead wanker with no surfing qualifications, knowledge or experience whatsoever”

…welllll
- ummmmm

youtube.com/watch?v=I_flfnu_78s

…

& AW may well be the capitan of calhoun’s expwess
…with guarantees of birds like this faaaaaaark

-$end z muneeeee ;)

youtu.be/mZ5kVFmDU9c?si=_kfzsgTtJCmGUxuw

Tearymasseuse. Hi mate, keep that humdrum rolling.

Superb Lyrebird, we all know, incredible ‘mimicry’ skills.

John Calhoun is hoping for last minute ‘monetary kills’.
I’m sure his favourite bird in the world is the DollarBird.

The gap of intelligence between those two species is as wide as the Sydney Harbour Bridge.
A lyrebird would never reveal the exact location of its performance dance floor. Just saying. AW

“ The gap of intelligence between those two species is as wide as the Sydney Harbour Bridge.
A lyrebird would never reveal the exact location of its performance dance floor. Just saying. AW “

^ haha, this is true ;)

& most ppl understand no one needs to make a motza
- just salt ya meaty balls and make a motz instead

(sometimes the ketchup isn’t needed / keep it simple)

& by now you’ve surely realised we don’t give a fark ;)

- worth a mention

john.callahan wrote:

Today's conditions at the target area - 2.2 meters of SW swell at 15 seconds period, wind light NW at 3kts - the Righthander will be good!

Did I mention there is no one surfing in this area?

Can you show us some pics please of the right & left ?

john.callahan wrote:

Today's conditions at the target area - 2.2 meters of SW swell at 15 seconds period, wind light NW at 3kts - the Righthander will be good!

Did I mention there is no one surfing in this area?

JC. Devine explorer, isn’t it just a jump to the left and then a step to the right ?
Or, first look left, then right, then left again.

I’ve gotta give it to you, you’re persistent, just like haemorrhoids, a real pain in the arse.
May I recommend this cream to you, Anusol. Try it, rubbing it in for the first time, well it’s quite an enjoyable feeling, the more you dig around the better you will feel erogenously. All the best with that. AW

john.callahan wrote:

Today's conditions at the target area - 2.2 meters of SW swell at 15 seconds period, wind light NW at 3kts - the Righthander will be good!

Did I mention there is no one surfing in this area?

Trust me. I’m a photographer from the 90s with no other qualifications. I now want to be your surf guide for a small sum of $3000 USD

Time must be running out to lock in that third punter for an August trip.

Calhoun must have mentioned it but how many days spent in the location?

JC, how about drip feeding us a few free details.
So, its $3000 for your services + return airfares to Jakarta.
How long is the adventure and is accommodation, all meals and booze included in the 3k?
How much spending money needed?
Do we have to pay for the photos you take of us surfing empty perfection?
What if 20 punters send you $1500, how do you choose the 3 lucky winners?
Is there medical help nearby?
What if the surf is crap, do you say sorry?
Hard to take you seriously with so few details pal.

It's for 14 days apparently, that's all I know.
The clock is ticking.

I wonder what his refund policy is?

goofies have let him down with his left point break, he's talking it up for regulars now..

seeds wrote:

I wonder what his refund policy is?

haha, tempted @seeds? go for it, mate, I'd kick in $$ if you take the asym Tiger made for you, cos calhoun loves and asym, and hear how he tells you it's not the right asym for you, and he's seen much better asyms and knows all there is to know on asyms. seriously, who wouldn't pore over an article by @seeds about his time in the jungle with @john.calhoun..??

Gawd no as Syp says

Nah

I couldn’t stand this carrot cake

I'm makin a George Motz burger as soon as, Teary. That looked GOOD. (insert hearts in eyes emoji here)

john.callahan wrote:

Today's conditions at the target area - 2.2 meters of SW swell at 15 seconds period, wind light NW at 3kts - the Righthander will be good!

Did I mention there is no one surfing in this area?

Not even you without someone else’s $3000. Pan handling for a loose promise.

Gotta remember fellas, this is $3K USD, which is $4.6K AUD........Bargain.

…been there, done that ;)

tearymasseuse wrote:

…been there, done that ;)

youtube.com/watch?v=tmQNqc0GAdM

These types of vlogs are just so painful to watch

^ yep, nice boat tho

…some things don’t need to be filmed or documented
- or shamelessly self promoted under the guise of imagined explorative virtue ;)

Let’s go!

https://m.youtube.com/shorts/CBlaPPb2cfA

…go hard or go home

;);)

Aiyeeeeee! Sum gon be don for we take a lot meat and em HOOOOLD OFF, AIYEEEE?! And den den sumpin gon be gon loose.
(or something like that. I dated a girl who moved to Louisiana. Naturally I followed. (she was THAT)
Tried to keep up with the natives and the language. Was hard.
Good times.

Trust me, i'm a washed up bitter surf photographer from the 90's

john.callahan wrote:

fitzroy-21 wrote:

Gotta remember fellas, this is $3K USD, which is $4.6K AUD........Bargain.

There are people, many people in fact, who pay MORE than USD $3k to sit on a boat in North Malé atoll or the Mentawai Islands while 60 plus surfers are in the water from the OTHER ten boats nearby at locations like Sultans and Lance's Right - or they pay a similar amount to stay on land at Laki Peak, Weligama or Tagazhout Village with HUNDREDS of other surfers, sent to these popular locations by surf travel companies who have no priority other than to cram as many punters into already overcrowded locations as possible -

I know, I have solicited several of them (not gonna name names here) and they had NO INTEREST in funding any surfEXPLORE research projects to find new locations for their customers in Indonesia or elsewhere, to ease overcrowding at popular surf travel destinations - no interest at all.

If any of these hundreds of surfers signed up from one of my surfEXPLORE trips, they would be surfing alone.

So when you say one of my surfEXPLORE trips is a bargain, that is absolutely accurate.

If you are just another sheeple, then go ahead - sign up with ___________ and pay USD $3k to surf in heavy crowds at well-known surf travel locations. Be my guest!

If you would rather spend your USD $3k to surf in high-quality conditions with just a few people, get in touch -

Photos please

john.callahan wrote:

fitzroy-21 wrote:

Gotta remember fellas, this is $3K USD, which is $4.6K AUD........Bargain.

There are people, many people in fact, who pay MORE than USD $3k to sit on a boat in North Malé atoll or the Mentawai Islands while 60 plus surfers are in the water from the OTHER ten boats nearby at locations like Sultans and Lance's Right - or they pay a similar amount to stay on land at Laki Peak, Weligama or Tagazhout Village with HUNDREDS of other surfers, sent to these popular locations by surf travel companies who have no priority other than to cram as many punters into already overcrowded locations as possible -

I know, I have solicited several of them (not gonna name names here) and they had NO INTEREST in funding any surfEXPLORE research projects to find new locations for their customers in Indonesia or elsewhere, to ease overcrowding at popular surf travel destinations - no interest at all.

If any of these hundreds of surfers signed up from one of my surfEXPLORE trips, they would be surfing alone.

So when you say one of my surfEXPLORE trips is a bargain, that is absolutely accurate.

If you are just another sheeple, then go ahead - sign up with ___________ and pay USD $3k to surf in heavy crowds at well-known surf travel locations. Be my guest!

If you would rather spend your USD $3k to surf in high-quality conditions with just a few people, get in touch -

Fake news.

Next on ....
Jsc circumnavigates the globe on a life raft
Identifying rare and extinct surfspots for yall to plunder
Old man with onions on his belt up next.....

Jesus.
Just go and surf it yourself FFS.

Have spent (wasted) the entire afternoon checking out John Calhouns background, his three other comrades who collectively call themselves surfEXPLORE.
From what I can glean about all this push push bravado surf secret waves shit, it’s all about the money, it always is.
It’s mostly about merchandise. All kind of surf products emblazoned with the word surfEXPLORE.
I don’t believe it’s about secret surf spots at all.

With a pardon me to a few of our good Yankee friends ,, Wax24 and Mick66 who I love chatting with, what is it with folks from the US, it’s always about the money.
Can’t they just enjoy places they visit without it always being about marketing and cashola.
The Florence brothers epitomise that, especially Nathan, constantly banging on about all the products all the time.
Recently at Lances Right and in particular Hollow Trees Resort, who had a visit a couple of years ago from Nathan, since his departure the joints now loaded with. incredibly expensive Florence products, especially boardshorts, average punter is not going to buy them.
I’m not paying $130 for a bit of fabric with a shoelace around ya waist and a couple of punched holes in fabric. Fair dinkum. AW