Surf Ranch Pro 2023

freeride76's picture
By Steve Shearer (freeride76)
Photo: WSL/Nolan

Surf Ranch Pro 2023

Steve Shearer picture
Steve Shearer (freeride76)
Form Guide

The opposite of love is not hate but indifference and it's incredible to behold; just five years down the track of the massively hyped introduction of wavepools to professional surfing just how indifferent the surfing public has become to Kelly Slater's Surf Ranch event.

It's incredible too, measuring up against the breathless hype of five years ago and observing how stagnant the whole concept has become, on every level. In 2017, then-CEO Sophie Goldschmitt proclaimed the league had already, “targeted six [wave pool] developments that have begun, or will shortly be underway”. Of those six, not one has had a shovel turned on it.

Journalist Nick Carroll could barely contain the froth after the Founders Cup in May 2018: “…it’s all downhill from here. It’s done. It has immense momentum. Who can’t see the pool as part of professional surfing’s future? The Founders Cup was the critical turning point the WSL needed. They’ll be fully convinced now of their direction and will pursue it with all the considerable energies at their disposal."

Heady stuff that has aged like a bucket of prawns left in the summer sun.

We were promised an incredible surge in surfing performance as surfers learnt “routines” on a repeatable wave. Snowboarding, skateboarding, gymnastics were repeatedly invoked.

Tail-high and tweaked, Italo casts a shadow on the newly-blue water of the tub (WSL/Nolan)

If anything, performance has gone backwards. No-one has surfed it in a more progressive fashion than Julian Wilson in the opening 2018 event. Toledo has gone backwards, as has Medina. Safety surfing reigns supreme - the opening day of this 2023 event was shockingly boring and conservatively surfed. Ninety-six waves were ridden in the Men's Qualifying Rounds - objectively all perfect, predicatble waves - yet just six of those waves scored over 8. Which means, by the numbers, 94% of waves ridden were safety surfed.

We were further away from a perfect 10 this event than we were in 2017.

By the time the 2021 event had wrapped, the fans had spoken. Even Kelly Slater admitted his own creation was boring. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity so when the WSL came back to the Ranch, even they could not ignore the backlash and indifference. “We hear the comments online about what people think of the event,” said Kelly last night. CEO Erik Logan accused disgruntled fans of being jealous.

Circling the wagons like that is a great tactic for defeating an enemy, be they a rival sporting code or team for example. But when you are circling the wagons against your own fans it should provide a clue that you are heading in the wrong direction.

What was new this year..?

Not damn much. They made the water bluer, which added to the aesthetics. No real change to the waves: the left still slopey and crumbly and ran off on a lot of surfers.

The night surfing dazzled both the fans and the surfers who struggled in the lights - Cole Houshmand scored just 4.07 on his sole right (WSL/Hughes)

The opening day format with four-man heats did not work in my eyes. Heats took forever and were hard to follow because surfers did not surf a left and then a right in succession. Safety surfing ruled and removed the purity and honesty of the cut line.

Night surfing, which reintroduced the cut-line, did work.

It was, by far, the highlight of the event. Drama-filled as only one wave counted, and with a cut line very easy to follow. The wave was obviously trickier to read in the night lights, which looked patently inadequate for the job. Lots and lots of falls, including Kelly Slater who went over the handlebars mid-ride on the right and then botched the barrel section on the left. Following the wildcard gift for 2023/2024 Kelly was not competitive in his own pool. His best ride was a 7.20, with an average wave score after six rides of 5.93.

The freshest lines were drawn by Caity Simmers, who somehow managed to put some old school steez onto the mechanical platform.

Caity Simmers locked in deep (WSL/Hughes)

What was also different this year was the judging. In previous incarnations it's been consistent and comprehensible. It was neither this year. Judges previously wanted performance, progression, and a completed ride. This year they wanted everything and nothing.

They seemed to be low-balling Medina for cruising. So he amped it up, but they refused to go into the 9's for him.

By contrast, Carissa Moore surfed exactly the same every wave, exactly the same as she surfed in 2021. Even by her own admission in the post-Final presser she said she still had much more to give. She was not required to show it because judges went excellent and beyond for her despite the repetition which was clearly within her comfort zone.

Carissa Moore swung metronomic turns both right and left (WSL/Hughes)

Commentators were zero help in parsing the scoring. They were far more focussed on amping up the pro-pool propaganda. Circling the wagons, little lies, untruths and omissions were the order of the day.

For example, John John Florence put in a tepid performance over both his day and night runs. Commentators kept telling us it was because he had never competed at the tub before. Yet John competed at both the full-scale trial Future Classic in Nov 2017 and the broadcast Founders Cup in May 2018 where he won best air. He is no tub virgin, as they continually asserted.

Also, we were continually told how “physically demanding” the tub is, despite the opening rounds removing even the requirement to surf waves back to back. That is just pure cringe. It would be one of the least demanding sports on Earth. You'd have to go to chess, or checkers, or E-sports to find something comparably undemanding.

The biggest change in terms of performance from the current roster was by Italo Ferreira. Italo has never made the cut to Finals Day in previous starts; the tub has been a clear weakness for him. This year it looked like he had traded places with 2019 Gabe Medina. Smoked the rights with huge hits and danced all over the lefts with unparalleled repertoire.

That was enough for him to easily exceed Ethan Ewing's total in their Semi (with two rides to spare) and bought him to the Final against Colapinto.

Both of his first two rides looked superior to Colapinto's, but the left was clearly dominant. Griff had surfed safe and repetitive, and got an 8.70. Ferreira should have been a point and half ahead. He received exactly the same score.

The Final was cooked. Daylight robbery. A hometown decision. The worst Finals decision I've ever seen.


As it happened we heard not a word in the booth.

This is why surfing can't be UFC, or Formula One, or any other of the sports it covets so desperately. A bad judging call in UFC is acknowledged: rematches can be assembled to rectify the error. F1 has cameras and objective rules which can be protested if broken.

Pro surfing cannot even acknowledge an error has occurred, let alone try and rectify it. It's scared of its own fans, able only to compound error with more error and denial.

Meanwhile, the sunk cost of the wavepool debacle grows deeper every year.


Surf Ranch Pro Women's Final Results:  
1 - Carissa Moore (HAW) 16.53
2 - Caroline Marks (USA)15.43

Surf Ranch Pro Men’s Final Results:  
1 - Griffin Colapinto (USA) 17.77
2 - Italo Ferreira (BRA) 17.13

Surf Ranch Pro Women's Semifinal Results
HEAT 1: Caroline Marks (USA) 15.53 DEF. Caitlin Simmers (USA) 15.00
HEAT 2: Carissa Moore (HAW) 18.00 DEF. Tatiana Weston-Webb (BRA) 14.77

Surf Ranch Pro Men's Semifinal Results: 
HEAT 1: Griffin Colapinto (USA) 15.60 DEF. Filipe Toledo (BRA) 14.10
HEAT 2: Italo Ferreira (BRA) 16.60 Def. Ethan Ewing (AUS) 16.36


jedi old mate's picture
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jedi old mate Monday, 29 May 2023 at 2:35pm

You sound jealous Steve….?
Glad to hear it was a massive flop. Shouldn’t a mechanical wave make judging simpler?
Not sure how much longer the used car salesman E-Lo can keep this flailing tour afloat.

jedi old mate's picture
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jedi old mate Monday, 29 May 2023 at 2:40pm

If I had to describe the surf ranch in one word it would be ‘flaccid’

simba's picture
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simba Monday, 29 May 2023 at 2:40pm

'The Final was cooked. Daylight robbery. A hometown decision. The worst Finals decision I've ever seen.'

yes seen some bad decisions over the years but this one takes the cake.........they want a home town hero at trestles to bring the hordes in........What a clusterfuk

burleigh's picture
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burleigh Monday, 29 May 2023 at 2:45pm

Judges can make mistakes, they are human and we understand the ocean is a fickle beast. However the pool takes away the fickleness, it's the same dam wave every couple of minutes.

The WSL needs to step up and explain why the waves were judged the way they were and face the harsh reality they have been exposed for the corrupt little puppets they are.

Every judge should be stood down immediately. They failed their job.

MutantPig's picture
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MutantPig Monday, 29 May 2023 at 2:49pm

I tried to parse it WSL website this morning before seeing this and completely agree with this article. It really puts extra flies on the surf ranch turd when the judging makes no sense either.

tiger's picture
tiger's picture
tiger Monday, 29 May 2023 at 3:08pm

Great and accurate report Steve, of what was once again an incredibly underwhelming event. Made even worse by the men's final result. I get it sometimes the result can go either way, and in 60/40 splits it can sometimes go to the 40 side of the ledger. I'm guessing something like 90%+ of viewers had Italo clearly as the winner. How could they get it so wrong? If they were NRL refs, they'd be back to reserve grade for the rest of the year. But as you said they'll just try and justify the results at all costs. The appropriate action right now would be to admit the mistake, and award Italo equal points and prizemoney. Snowballs chance in hell of that happening.

Rubicon's picture
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Rubicon Monday, 29 May 2023 at 3:34pm

Well done on the write up Steve, it must have been an effort to fish enough inspiration from that tepid pool of mediocrity to get yourself to the keyboard.
A possible parallel in the "performances going backward" in response to conservative, formulaic rides being rewarded with the early Zuffa period UFC. The UFC almost faded into nothing as every fight went to the ground and stayed there. Even GSP, the Welterweight champion at the time who'd won his title as a striker acknowledged the pointlessness of remaining standing with the greater risk of injury or sudden knock out, and just worked on wrestling.
The UFC was saved from "death by boredom" by one amazing fight in the first season finale of their reality show, and consistent performance by Anderson Silva and Jon Jones.
It's hard to see the scope in the tub for game changing performances to save it, especially when a performance like Italo's was unrewarded.

One hope to draw from the UFC might be that both SIlva and Jones failed drug tests. Maybe drawing on the California / Timothy Leary connection there could mix a little LSD with the blue food coloring for the water a see what it inspires from the surfers?

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Hazrus Monday, 29 May 2023 at 3:40pm

Thanks Steve for the writeup. Honestly, I was definitely more engaged in the format than in previous years - credit where credit is due.

Regarding the judging, I haven't seen any of the finals day apart from the men's final. That was, however, an absolute farce. It was objectively the worst decision I can remember in pro surfing; the uniformity of the waves ridden by both Italo and Griff compared with what they actually did on said waves should have made it easy to judge.

indo-dreaming's picture
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indo-dreaming Monday, 29 May 2023 at 4:10pm

Happy to say i didn't watch one second of it as didn't want to give the WSL one more view than it deservers.

Not that i was tempted in the slightest to check it out.

Sprout's picture
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Sprout Monday, 29 May 2023 at 4:30pm

I love your comp write-ups Steve, but the pool is so boring I can't even bring myself to read your report.

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Balbero Monday, 29 May 2023 at 4:40pm

Fair call Shearer.

harrycoopr's picture
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harrycoopr Monday, 29 May 2023 at 5:19pm

Chess undemanding??? Are u mad?

Rubicon's picture
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Rubicon Monday, 29 May 2023 at 5:34pm

If you are finding Chess physically demanding Harry you might want to consider finding a smaller board and pieces...i think they might even make versions you can sit at the table and play

harrycoopr's picture
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harrycoopr Tuesday, 30 May 2023 at 10:04am

Right on Nick Bone... Bobby Fischer trained like a boxer! At the elite level it's very demanding

Rubicon's picture
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Rubicon Tuesday, 30 May 2023 at 2:25pm

Gees Guys, my mistake.
But in my defense that looks a very different game from the one I was taught, taking turns flicking your prawns at their big pieces, extra points for hitting the castles and the horseys.
We had the Klan vs. Panthers: Battle for America edition. Set 'um up either side of the Madson-Dickie line and "have at'em Boys!"

Dr Harry, do boxers really train differently from other breeds?

harrycoopr's picture
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harrycoopr Wednesday, 31 May 2023 at 6:28pm

Dr Harry, Rubicon?? Hmm methinks thou knowest something. And its pawns Ruby pawns goddammit

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Coops70 Monday, 29 May 2023 at 5:43pm

It looks like the wozzle is back peddling at once what it once used to reward judging wise a more say Brazilian style of surfing to now more of a rail game. The WSL has pandered to a Bazillion fan base and now turned its back on them or so it seems to me. The back lash now ensuing. You can’t blame Italo for the confusion. If Griffin was scared of Brazil before, he’s going to need a seal team for body guards now!

andy-mac's picture
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andy-mac Monday, 29 May 2023 at 5:43pm

Great write up, thanks! Saved me watching any of it....

southernraw's picture
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southernraw Monday, 29 May 2023 at 6:19pm

Great stuff FR.
I was particularly irked because i popped a few bucks on Italo for the win, knowing he is currently in the right form to win the pool comp.
Wondering where my $600 payout is c#nts!! Worst start to the day ever! Fuckers.
No more surf comps for me unless it's over 6 foot. There's clearly an agenda and the Woz is full of crooks, from chief SUP rider Erik Logan at the top all the way down. Geez that Elo gets under my skin.
What a disaster for professional surfing.
Who holds these people accountable?
Bring back the Rabbit days, run by surfers for surfers.

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andy-mac Monday, 29 May 2023 at 6:41pm


doolybird's picture
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doolybird Monday, 29 May 2023 at 6:38pm

Jeezus that final was a farce.....great comparison here

I really dont know what the judges were looking at....

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Tooold2bakook Monday, 29 May 2023 at 6:59pm

Well at least the write up is interesting

Roadkill's picture
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Roadkill Monday, 29 May 2023 at 7:25pm

I quite enjoyed the last day. WSL delivers complete no fucking idea judging and a few pissed off brassos….that is a win imo.

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northeasterly Monday, 29 May 2023 at 7:31pm

Sorry to say it but I really like the pool event. It wasn't all bad. Watching Ethan Ewing eviscerate lefts and rights was a treat. And Caity Simmers rips. There was great surfing happening over the last few days. You just have to adjust to what you're looking at. Sort of like watching the snowboarding half pipe at the winter Olympics. Find those gold seams in the quartz.

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tylerdurden Monday, 29 May 2023 at 7:48pm

I think the problem is the format, not the wave.
The problem with the wave is that there is really only one way to surf it, for everybody.
Only minor points of difference are subtleties in how vertical the surfer gets or milliseconds of barrel time. So therefore the format has to recognise that and try to promote alternative ways to ride the wave.
The comp shouldn’t be one on one or even 4 person heats.
Something simple like the best two wave score after maybe 3-4 lefts and 3-4 rights each.
Or there’s no solution, it’s a training pool and nothing else.

A point to note however was my son and his mate watched a lot of the comp and were transfixed by the quality of the wave and in general by the action.

Also, as an aside, about a decade ago Greg Webber was looking for investors on this very website. He subsequently was also on here sprouting the dial up variety of his pools and how they’ll change the surfing world.
Any developments? Has he got a functioning pool up and running yet?

freeride76's picture
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freeride76 Monday, 29 May 2023 at 7:55pm

Thats interesting Tyler.

My teenage son and his mates didn't even watch half a wave before they were out the door- but they'd seen it before.

There was no novelty for them, and they certainly had no interest in the comp itself.

tbh, the most entertaining format I've seen there was the Founders Cup team format where teams competed against each other.

As an individual comp it's just too geared to reward safety surfing.

Even the Night Session where the incentive was heavily geared to go big the scores were pretty low- most surfers still rode it conservatively.

No way on God's Green Earth Griff surfed those Final waves at more than 75%.

He had way more to give.

lostdoggy's picture
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lostdoggy Monday, 29 May 2023 at 8:14pm

Eeetalo had more variety, more criticality, more tube time, more water displacement through turns.

tylerdurden's picture
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tylerdurden Monday, 29 May 2023 at 8:15pm

My boy and his mate might be the same next time but they certainly were pretty entertained this time, even asking how much it is to go there etc.
You may be right regarding the pool, no format will save it. But a no heat, count your best two waves expression session style format may be the best chance they’ve got

MGB's picture
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MGB Monday, 29 May 2023 at 8:22pm

Only final I can remember as bad a rip off was the kelly v andy final at jbay where kelly fell and he still got the score.....this was probs worse......

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BarbB Monday, 29 May 2023 at 8:25pm

Gabriel vs Julian 2012 Portugal was pretty bad.

lostdoggy's picture
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lostdoggy Monday, 29 May 2023 at 8:30pm

Not a final but maybe a semi or quarter where MF got pushed at pipeline and won the world title from Kelly is one I remember.

But Kelly has been pushed plenty of times too I suppose.

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tubeshooter Monday, 29 May 2023 at 8:29pm

They need to go full WWF to make this event remotely entertaining.
Maybe throw in a 'let's get ready to rumble' style commentary with plenty of trash talk from the competitors before each heat. Have Gabe crack Elo over the head with a fake deckchair prop. Luke Cederman pretending to drown Turpel. Stuff like that.
If they're going to rig heats they may as well go all the way.

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Nick Bone Tuesday, 30 May 2023 at 12:34pm

They did that last year at Trestles but instead of thrash talk we got the most cringe awkward faces of the competitors.

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seahound Monday, 29 May 2023 at 8:55pm

Griffin surfed great, excellent scores in the high 8 range for sure. But Italo was pushing it way harder, with more speed, risk and creativity. Should have been 9 point plus rides, guaranteed. He was robbed. I do wonder if the judges have it in for him after he rattled their cage at Bells last year, or for something said or done somewhere else? Pathetic. Credit to Italo for being gracious in defeat at the presentation. I hope he makes the top five and smokes them all. If the judges can't see or reward what he did in the others have said here, they should be all sacked. Or they should be made to spend a week at the pool learning how to judge properly, by watching every ride over and over, analysing every turn in slow motion etc until they get it right. Otherwise, go find another job. Bring in new judges, surely they can't be all as bad as this mob, at this comp. What were they seeing and thinking? And how much pull or sway has the head judge? That has always irked me most, as a former judge. Head judge should be a spotter only, making sure each ride is seen and scored, and not influencing scores. And they really need to widen their scoring, stop cramping and low-balling the scores. Even if they give a bloody nine, they still have 10 more decimal points to separate better rides with.

hoody's picture
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hoody Monday, 29 May 2023 at 9:30pm

I watched Caroline Marks destroy this man made wave then watched a couple of mens rides that were probably less expressive. very boring to watch.
Italo was totally robbed by the "cinderella story factory" that comp surfing is. Wow well done hometown hero, everyone watching knows you lost......

WSL keeps digging its grave!
Wonder how long this virus can keep blowing money on a tour that no one wants to watch.

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Swany Monday, 29 May 2023 at 10:20pm

I froth a novelty tag team comp for an hour, 4 surfers sharing the four sections, on single wave. Points for tagging (high five, fist bump or sunny style rail lift). Bit more risk and variety of styles. Would be a laugh.

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Standingleft Monday, 29 May 2023 at 11:24pm

Love your reportering Steve, not sure I always agree but you cover it so well I don't care and anyway I'm too confused to argue.
The Brazilians were great (& Ethan too), they surf it like a REAL wave though a tiny one and Griff got in on the act, overheard them whispering that his shaper had developed an extra special rocker !!
I actually liked where he was hitting, more vertical, kind of through the lip, maybe it was that suss as clear water I dunno but it looked somehow a more natural flow. That's all I've got on that..
There's really very little incentive to try an outlandish air, any wizzy will do, box checked. Gabe's pissed, he worked hard for his aerial supremacy and he surf's the pool so well but I guess the judges just aren't interested in counting twists and rotations as spectacular as they are, especially here, strange.
And unless they're going to go forensic, get Kaipo's ladder, a two storey whiteboard and tally all the details, number of turns + spicy tail jam or reverse ride bonus, length of tube in milliseconds, exact degrees of revolution and rotation, altitude of your air in millimetres, etc then I don't know how they split them.
Seems like 'just do the requirements and we'll throw a score at the vibe of it'. The Goat's evil conspiracy has turned surfing into an equestrian event, I knew he was up to no good. Coronial inquest!
I'm a surfing dork and I enjoyed it on that level. Comparing details of tube stance for example. Caity pretty much stands inside the outside right, Jordie took a look at that inside left barrel and says 'fuck that, I'm not folding this frame for that piddly micro left' .. so relatable.
Marksy got one back on Simmo, these two, love it and comparing their rides too. Are they both competing for one spot on the USA Olympic team?

LeBoor - Very repetitive and if you like your sport free flowing, well, it's a mediaeval torture rack but It's not all bad, vision from the ski angle is very cool.
It's a very long ride, would be well out of the tower's vision at those few long peeling breaks. Chop it in half? Two riders per wave? 4 hits and a barrel bang done, more than enough anywhere else.
Could they mod it to change the tide? Might simplify things. Low tide barrels, high tide turns and airs? As it is now it's overloaded, they're trying to squeeze their whole menus onto one wave, like trying to fit a three course meal on your Jetstar tray table.
An expression session would entertain, radical air attempts yahoo and let them fall occasionally for a change, the crowd love it. Break out the MidLength Twins, you know you want it, let's see you style this baby because frankly, the whole thing is stiflingly intense.

Nick Gee's picture
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Nick Gee Monday, 29 May 2023 at 11:42pm

dunno what's wrong with me, but i watched most of the rides and enjoyed the comp. i can't say i've seen any comp without the odd judges call and result i've disagreed with, it is subjective after all. perhaps swapping the ocean for the mechanical perfection of the pool shows up the flaws in the judging system/criteria more. sadly, Trestles as the decider location combined with the top 5 format is more of a travesty than having this pool on the schedule.

Remigogo's picture
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Remigogo Tuesday, 30 May 2023 at 12:17am

The cut, dodgy pool judging, final 5 Trestles.... I dunno ay.

If it wasn't for Ethan, Jack, Molly, Caity, Kelly, theres no way I'd be tuning in.

Thanks to swellnet and crew for keeping me sanity intact.

gm14's picture
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gm14 Tuesday, 30 May 2023 at 12:45am

It's funny now watching the F1 the coverage feels entirely a live action social media meme of the Netflix show. It is so cringeworthy, celebrities, your favourite bland unrelateable driver. If that's the dream finished form of the wsl the only way is down

truebluebasher's picture
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truebluebasher Tuesday, 30 May 2023 at 2:08am

Steve is right that each Ranch Comp scores lower...
Wave comp surfers do however score higher each round...(Huge difference!)
Each round scores build to the highest scores of all the International Surfing Comps.

Ranch Men's Average Scores (Elim R 1/2 not shown > equate to Cut Surfers)
Cut Format Rounds count back from 2023 (Final) Only fair & logical way to compare scores.
2018 = 15.03 > 16.43 > 14.70 > 16.02 > 17.45 (Final)
2019 = 14.70 > 16.24 > 14.88 > 16.88 > 18.09 (Final)
2023 = 13.54 > 12.70 > 14.55 > 15.66 > 17.45 (Final) (2023 Lower Rounds surfed into nite format)

tbb sussed out night comp a good while back > Kelly's Global Wave Pool Nite Safari.
Kelly actually surfed into Pitch Dark pools to suss all conditions...+ 2x WSL Ranch Nite Longboard Comps
Pointed out that many top players were also hitting Wave Garden nite sessions!

Ranch Women are the same apart from (No 2023 QF) = To Men's Format Ok!
Not as many chix did the Nite Safaris...well...not sharing if they did, apart from a few!
2018 = 13.93 > 15.15 > 16.70 > 15.67 > 17.25 (Final)
2019 = 12.77 > 15.48 > 17.29 > 14.69 > 17.82 (Final)
2023 = 13.91 > 13.94 > no QF > 15.93 > 15.98 (Final)
Again slightly lower scores surfing into the Night...only fair to point that out, so all are clear on that!

WSL format > Wave Pool Comps AWM / Alaia Bay / Urbnsurf
All Competitors improve each round as shown here...
GOAT / WSL > Tiered Olympic pricing > Finals Seats (Swimming $200 > 1,600)
Each round times / scores increase with pricing...(Olympic Ideal + Peak Nite Slot = Swim Finals)

WSL CT Beach Format can't do Primetime or Nite Olympics
WSL line-ups + scores peak during lower tier mid Comp > peter out to onshore w/e slop Finals.
tbb did check a while back...50% Beach Finals were held in sub par cross / onshore winds
WSL format can't ever justify selling a Finals ticket on a beach break or Reef Lay Week. (Cross fingers)

Crew can see that Wave Pool stats stack up to sell & guarantee Best Surfing premium Finals seats!
Not meant to sound controversial nor exciting...just is!

Again! Steve is's only relevant in it's own format...
We may see Wave Pool Comp present as boring but it's #1 sportsmanlike for Olympic Ideal
It's highly possible that LA Olympics may run heats in Beach Slop but Finals in GOAT stadium.
Why! Coz we all know why...the Highest Scores are locked in for highest Bucks! $1,600 / seat!
Beach Comp could never warrant $50 for Olympic Medal quality wave or surfing...Where/When?
Lazy Brazzo sludgin' instead of surfin' ashore > dumpin' shit and bullying his slaves ain't worth $50.

These stats are exactly what GOAT / Elo will present to LA Olympics Committee!
Choose the Ranch for Primetime $1,600 #1 Olympic Ideal or gamble with them other loser Hodads.
Very few Olympic Outdoor Water / Sports (Whole) can showcase day/nite format...(It is worth a bit!)
Longest 50 sec Waves on Tour + 4m Lulls are comparable to CT line Ups + very few scrappy scores!
These auto Timed lulls are perfect for TV...never miss any live action...set the egg timer..Bang yer on!

Of course tbb doesn't agree or commit to this format but it is what it is & it's not going away!
Heck! tbb is furious that they ban us basherz from all Wave Pools...nothin' at all in it for tbb!
Sure...a little bit jealous of the crew sloshin' about...knowing tbb can't touch this shit!
Anyhow...Steve is right on about the score so he wins the crew a bonus upgrade.
What might that be tbb...nothing but the best for #1 crew. (These take a bit of doin'...but shape up Ok!)

(Bonus) Judges average Final's [scores] + Admission (fees) for all recent International m/w Surfing Finals.
Thought the Crew can choose their dream package Surf Final ...[#1swellnet exclusive]
2020 Olympics = [11.30] ($50)
2023 WSL Front 5x CT= [12.75] (Free)
2021/2 WSL 5x Finals = [15.26] (Free)
2022 WSL Urbnsurf = [15.26] ($10 > Standard $5)
2018/19/23 WSL 3x Ranch = [17.36] (2023 / $40 Admit 2 with [P]+ dodgy app)

2024 Olympics = (Still No Surfing listing nor Tickets) #1 shittiest Olympic Sport Promo ever!

Case in point...This being the first & last exotic Reef Break for Olympics.
France has never once mentioned Surfing or Surf Tickets / Prices & 3 years Olympic association!
Hodad's droolin' over Le Poo Poo VIP Safari just lost 3 years Olympic Surfing Promo...better be worth Wot!
Olympic Surfing is dead in the water...see for yourselves...Ain't no such thing, just go & run a bath...
Happy to share!

peppa bluey's picture
peppa bluey's picture
peppa bluey Tuesday, 30 May 2023 at 6:43am

Has anyone else pondered whether they should make surfers ride the left first next time? Given how spent some of them looked after one wave and that for many the right is their golden child, could this have an impact on performance. Agree on all points, especially Carissa’s same same formula. I also thought the crowds roars sounded a little fake or something, and coupled with waves and smiles from surfers at end of the waves, it was very…….olympics

Moored's picture
Moored's picture
Moored Tuesday, 30 May 2023 at 7:19am

Judging, including on the CS, had been super unpredictable all year. It’s just more obvious in the pool because the wave quality variable has been removed.

southernraw's picture
southernraw's picture
southernraw Tuesday, 30 May 2023 at 8:03am

J.B.G aint happy.
Can't post the link here for some reason but here's his little spiel and Italo's reply.
You'd think the Woz would surely have to reply to all this...and give me my 600bucks i won the dogs!
"Congrats @italoferreira for being runner up at the Kelly’s surf ranch contest I like that kid Colapinto but I thought Italo won the contest with the longer & deeper barrels, solid hacks, air 360’s and most importantly, finishing his rides. @tpattersonsurfboards_usa Message to WSL about being FAIR for everyone IF YOU CAN MAKE A MID SESSION CUT FOR THE SURFERS WHO DOESNT PERFORM WELL, THERE SHOULD ALSO BE A MID SESSION CUT FOR THOSE JUDGES WHO DOESN’T DO THEIR JOBS WELL & FAIRLY FOR ALL THE SURFERS bcus THIS IS THEIR LIFE YOU PLAYING WITH Maybe we should start another tour like golf did without any boring wave pools Let me know what do you guys think Sorry if you don’t like my honesty @wsl but to be fair, I don’t like your bs I think I should be a spokes person for all the surfers
Edited · 24m
italoferreira's profile picture
"Thanks buddy! Let’s do it"

lostdoggy's picture
lostdoggy's picture
lostdoggy Tuesday, 30 May 2023 at 8:01am

Gone already?
What it say?

stunet's picture
stunet's picture
stunet Tuesday, 30 May 2023 at 8:03am

Account private. Need to screenshot.

StayAtHome's picture
StayAtHome's picture
StayAtHome Tuesday, 30 May 2023 at 8:14am

didn’t watch any of it but happy to hear that Caitlin Simmers shredded!

Dukowski's picture
Dukowski's picture
Dukowski Tuesday, 30 May 2023 at 10:14am

Don't think the Brazilians are in love with Ewing's seamless style of surfing the way everyone else is.

ron's picture
ron's picture
ron Tuesday, 30 May 2023 at 10:16am

The pool should be a separate novelty event so they can spice it up with entertaining categories.
Longboard, single, twin, booger, body surf.

Barrell only contest, any board you want, style points for laybacks, 1 leggers (michel Bourez style) etc.

Air contest.

Body surf longest ride?


Novelty craft, craziest ride on the craziest object. Kellys airstream door, your mates back etc.

Just make it fun, its a fucking pool....

Sheepdog's picture
Sheepdog's picture
Sheepdog Tuesday, 30 May 2023 at 10:44am

If you want to make it interesting, all competitors have to surf retro pre tri fin boards. They must be exact copies of anything pre simon anderson thruster. Would ad a bit of legitimacy to who really is the best all round surfer for the year.
Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue.

Roopy's picture
Roopy's picture
Roopy Tuesday, 30 May 2023 at 10:55am

I only had a chance to scan the article quickly, but what I took from it is that the opposite of love is gymnastics.

goofyfoot's picture
goofyfoot's picture
goofyfoot Tuesday, 30 May 2023 at 11:12am

Didn't watch one wave of this comp but I'd rather watch Griffin surf over Italo every time.
Yeah Italo might be more "tech" and do higher airs and go faster but if you look at the recent clips of him at Ulu's for example after the WA comp then you'll see some of the rankest most horrendous style for a pro surfer you'll ever see in your life.
My two rupiah

tomdo's picture
tomdo's picture
tomdo Tuesday, 30 May 2023 at 11:51am

Pools will only work for competitive surfing as a spectator sport if A) the waves are bigger and more challenging and B) there’s *much* less downtime between waves; two rather intractable problems, it would seem, thanks to the laws of physics. So failing that, how about judging by artificial intelligence? Lemoore lends itself to it and the AI is probably easier to create than bigger, more consistent waves. Eventually the WSL could have robot surfers too - ones that don’t express opinions.

basesix's picture
basesix's picture
basesix Tuesday, 30 May 2023 at 12:22pm

haha, so Black Mirror, a perpetual pool-party you can log into with a holographic avatar, and put bets on AI-judged robot surfers, papa Kelly laughing it up like Vegas Elvis on a pool pony. (agree w A & B)

TheWhoSellOut's picture
TheWhoSellOut's picture
TheWhoSellOut Tuesday, 30 May 2023 at 12:03pm

WSL has clearly stated their priorities in contests are “storylines and engagement”. Logan and his regime sycophants have to be happy with the engagement of thousands of angry Brasilians arguing about the wavepool results on WSL social media.
I had thought the wavepool event most closely resembled pro bowling, but with bowling you can get a definite count of how many pins have fallen; instead, pro surfing is closer to gymnastics, in that the results are determined by a panel of judges, who have a supposedly predetermined set of criteria that the viewing audience may or may not understand or agree with.
As Tubeshooter mentioned above, the WSL should just go full WWF with surfer costumes and walk on music themes. It certainly will never rival UFC, which Logan seems to aspire to. Also, maybe there should be a panel of celebrity judges like on American Idol.

Lil Mr. Kelly's picture
Lil Mr. Kelly's picture
Lil Mr. Kelly Tuesday, 30 May 2023 at 12:17pm

Came here to see if you'd call out the final and of course u did. I'm a yank, love grif and italos surfing that final was a joke at one point I thought they posted the scores incorrectly but no they just suck. Italo should be properly pissed off

Lil Mr. Kelly's picture
Lil Mr. Kelly's picture
Lil Mr. Kelly Tuesday, 30 May 2023 at 12:29pm

Also u reckon they were trying to just ramp up the drama tp.the last wave thinking that italo would go ham and they would give him the score? But then he fell and they were stuck w this mess ????

andy-mac's picture
andy-mac's picture
andy-mac Tuesday, 30 May 2023 at 1:05pm

Well the comp is getting publicity!

Should all non Brazo surfers boycott Brazil leg due to safety concerns?

gedsta's picture
gedsta's picture
gedsta Tuesday, 30 May 2023 at 2:06pm

So how is that EE's fault?? (re link above)
How good are Brazo surf fans.......

andy-mac's picture
andy-mac's picture
andy-mac Tuesday, 30 May 2023 at 2:20pm

Yep, good question...

booman's picture
booman's picture
booman Tuesday, 30 May 2023 at 2:28pm

Got some judging problems IMO...

Also commentary needs to update their skills on air trick name/ recognition,.

Italo and Gabriel adapted well to the task at hand in this instance and dominated IMO.

truebluebasher's picture
truebluebasher's picture
truebluebasher Tuesday, 30 May 2023 at 6:28pm

Pool Changes between Comps..
Original Wave Lagoon carried a Long High Face from start to End
Wind up Speed & Water was murky & deep enough to throw some airs...

New Bathymetry was needed to Halve Power Bill by reducing Water mass.

One can observe that Start & Finish + Centre are tapered in.
Then a fine channel hugging contoured Sand banks (Like a Zip Line)
Can just make out these 3 contoured - lined Sand Banks...
Then also the sweet Spots meeting these curves as wave hollows out.
All very high tech & well worth hiding from rivals!

Requiring only 50% Power to push 50% less water + save more as Banks kick wave along!

50% less Power & Water can then be allocated to filtering Water. (It now looks much cleaner!)

But! It also now shows WSL Pro Surfers just how shallow & short faced this new Version is...
Meaning the 2 Air Zones land surfer in shallowing backdoor barrel sections...(High Risk!)
Basically gotta forgo the central Barrel section to wind up one Mid -Large Air...with a flow recover!
Pretty much keep the Flowline...very few doin' that at Comp level...(Very different sectioned Wave!)
But that's the idea, to break it up & give surfer options!

How Shallow is the new Pool?
Well because all can now see the Pool Floor for the first time...that's another Air backdown.
Kelly seems guarded on what to share about Bathymetry.
He doesn't seem to like sharing depth of Banks either for Safety or design poaching.
Not even come across New Pool volume on Water / Power Saving...any got that?

As said...Banks do have a contoured shape with specific placement to his pool channels & length.
tbb doubts other pools utilize Bathymetry to Boost power...crew & Kelly know these secrets.
Wavegarden stick with their Moulded Bathymetry & that's that...where Kelly can trial new savings!

This DIY rogue Vid not only roams but pervs on forbidden zones just long enough!
Strangely though it shares a lot of Bathymetry but avoids the sweet spots...Thinking Kelly edits it.
Also a seemingly instruction to promptly clear bank onto shore or into deeper water.
This is the intention but you'll rarely see Wipeout recover footage over Hour Long Vid! Suss!
But if ya trawl thru it long'll get rewarded with a single micro second wading blip.
These Bathymetry secrets speak volumes on why a Pro might have his wings clipped!

14 June 2022 Kelly Slater Surf Ranch Drone Footage (50 Views)
Vid puts out an alternate Pool Tour more suited to Surfers than investors!
Ranch Surf Kiosk Menu
[0:00] Intermediate Warm Up
[8:55] Air Barrels > Direct overhead Drone shots
[15:00] Shoulder Hoppin'
[21:37] (Rare Footage-Blip) Pool Centre is Fast & only Knee-Thigh Deep impact zone
[No Airs Here!] we see Kelly's Water / High Risk Power saving zones.
Risky as Wave Height / Speed races over low Reef like water level...take extreme care kinda risky!
Ya see Kelly tries to play down Helmet Height to match others playing up to Helmet height.
That's the secret why all claim 2m high Pool Waves (Falling from 2.1m requires Helmet)
Crew can see why none wish to build Larger Wave Height Pools as none wish to surf with Helmets!

[24:20] Central Shallow Bank Footage (Not much, but also a lot to see as it's a new angle)
This hollowed out mid section flings wave into second gear to ramp onto next contoured banks.
No other footage shares this Mid section is such detail...tbb thinks it's well worth sharing!
Crew might consider this as Mid Section Hang as natural as an inside Point break...can get into it!
Somewhere in there the Jetski Rider instructs the Surfer to shape for Barrel Bank...get in there! Yes!
Also dudes tryin' to mop up the trailin' wave...said try! But does show a few empty baby bowls!
All very well thought out to ramp Wave Power to power itself...that's Kelly's aim or should be!

[30:50] Party wave Session (Crew requested this...Vid puts out with mixed Party Waves)
[37:20] (Right) 5 + 1 Surfin' outside the Jetski (Over the Lining area...looks odd)
[42:15] (Left) 5 + 1 Surfin outside the Jetski (Prone / Knee / Stand / Seated)

Vid goes for [1:05:46] Well worth viewing these actual sessions for a better look at The Ranch.
Go as far to say it's not a bad Wave Pool Flick in it's own right...


Sure! Why not a Kooky Bonus Surf Ranch Drone Vid ...only it's a Different Surf Ranch...Huh!
Drone Pilot or into them Domino Runs then you'll love this...One Pilot goes Rogue at The Surf Ranch.


3vickers's picture
3vickers's picture
3vickers Tuesday, 30 May 2023 at 7:57pm

i actually watched more of this than previous ranch events…whilst not jumping out of my chair (like Cal R at Portugal) - i reckon it was ok viewing….actually better than ok

it’s a conundrum whether the competitors let loose or strategise ….could we have this event as ‘non-counting’ in ranking, but compulsory (or you lose points) and add maybe a nice little purse of $$$ for the best performance….

(italo absolutely fleeced!!)

….i’d love to get a chance to go there- it looks daylight better than our tub in melb

belly's picture
belly's picture
belly Thursday, 1 Jun 2023 at 7:47am

Reckon we must nearly be in the long range forecast window for El Salvador.

Spearman's picture
Spearman's picture
Spearman Friday, 2 Jun 2023 at 10:15pm

“Buckets of prawns left in the summer sun” yep that’s how some investors feel