Submitted by stunet on Fri, 06/29/2018 - 10:38
"WSL are excited to announce the acquisition of “Soul Surfing” to further increase their strategic takeover of Surfing. Head of acquisitions Paul Borrowbitz commented “since we took over ASP and began to commercialise Surfing, we have struggled to break through to the soul surfers and free spirited ocean lovers. Even our Corona adverts have failed. This purchase will greatly enhance the WSL brand and enable us to create authentic followers who are more likely to purchase our poly-nylon athlete t-shirts. We anticipate doubling our sales this year to 7.”
...and make a whole trophy for Women!
....and scoop KSWC's newly built Japanese pool!
(With a quote from none other than Hiro Westuitrashi)
As always, the comments are gold.
"Head of acquisitions Paul Borrowbitz" haha
Its a joke right?
Haha very good
......while over at ESPIN sports Con Allday, Deputy Chief Vice President for the Promotion of the Otherwise Unmarketable, announced an exciting new product, Ultimate Surf Slog, an innovative combination of wave pool surfing and combat sport.
" Our vision is simple" he said " Two surfers, one wave. First past the post or last man standing wins. Full contact. Primary colour uniforms. You get the picture, spikes on the nose, razor sharp fins, blood in the water. Even the morons will get it. No-one ever went broke under-estimating public so if worst comes to worst, well at least it will be a first!"
"Even our Corona adverts have failed"
I thought Hiro Wetsuitrashi was living on the Goldy..
Perhaps a WSL sponsorship deal with PETA is on the cards,,, as well as plastic products , meat will be also banned from wsl events as well as wax products that do not conform to stringent soul surfing marketing criteria .
Look for the Slater Vegie Burger stand at your next eventhttps://www.peta.org/features/surfers-get-on-board-with-planet-based-eat...https://www.peta.org/living/personal-care-fashion/cruelty-free-vegan-sur...
Current evidence on diet, and probably all most need to know, is 80% fresh vegetable foods: fruits, nuts, seeds, legumes, vegetables. Not much evidence that reducing animal products to zero has any additional benefit BUT in terms of the environment, carbon emissions, water use, land clearing, pesticide use etc etc, animal products are much more damaging.
Lots of miss information about comparing meat farming to vegetable, fruit and grain farming.
Most based on beef farming methods in USA or per kg return.
Take for instance beef farming in Australia it’s generally pretty easy low energy use you let beef graze on land in most cases water is from natural rainfall held in dams, feed supplemented with hay etc cut from land in dry times, maybe some water pumped from bores to top up dams etc
Much land used is not suitable for growing crops etc due to rainfall soils or landscape etc
Now compare this to most farming needed for vegetables, fruit, even grains, First you need the right land and rainfall and you continuely need to turn over soils and recondition or fertilise, it’s rare to have crops that rely on natural rainfall so you need to pump up much more water and irrigate much of whitch is lost the evaporation.
So yes technically you can say 1kg of a crop uses less water than say beef because the turn around is quick compared to beef that takes much more time to grow and hence over its lifetime uses much more water.
But what’s more natural and sustainable, farming with natural rainfall using as less energy as possible or using high energy use farming that generally relies on pumping ground water?
Off course it all comes down to balance.
Bitcoin boogy 2. Intermediately expert. Instantly. Now playing.
'Grazing by livestock (mainly sheep and cattle) has irreversibly degraded many natural ecosystems in Australia. Consequently, stock are usually removed from public land when new conservation reserves are declared. The damaging effects of livestock on ecosystems such as rivers, wetlands and the alps are well known.'
I agree with some of that indo but once you take into account the bigger picture and include fisheries, dairy and factory farming there is no doubt that every calorie derived from animals has a greater environmental impact. I still consume animal products but at pretty low levels.
I was only taking the piss,,, but PETAs' policy on cruelty to bees is somewhat subjective. In many places in Oz introduced species are targeted for eradication . And wild bee colonies are much crueler to each other than our current bee keeping industry. But if that sort of thing concerns you , changing your brand of wax won't change a thing. Bees wax is a big industry.www.environment.gov.au/biodiversity/invasive-species/insects-and-other-i...
On the fisheries front many greenies will agree these days that sustainable fishing is better than livestock farming.
It won't be long until the wsl security guys will be given german shepherds to combat the ever growing threat of rushing fans, perhaps a few cans of capsicum spray as well.
Paging Dirk Ziff
Dirk Ziff to the rapacious corporate raider phone, please....
Here he ishttps://www.tracksmag.com.au/news/the-wsl-dirk-ziff-speaks-499767
And after listening to Kerry O'keefe on the cricket he makes the WSL sound like lawn bowls. They have to get a bit wild and zany and maybe a bit naughty even.
The magazine that brought us Goodvibes and how to build a $2 house , nude surfing pictorials and authentic accounts of Aussie surf culture describing as “ raw , heartfelt and honest “ a conference room sales pitch given by a non surfing gronk who’s only interest in surfers and surfing is wringing as much coin from their cultural heritage as possible.
As he unironically receives recognition for his mastery of an ocean he’s never surfed.
Tracks magazine......don’t let the door hit you on the way out.