The worse songs in the history of the known universe.

Sheepdog's picture
Sheepdog started the topic in Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 4:39pm

You know the ones.. The mega hits.... They blared out over all the radio stations.... MTV.... Countdown.... Rage........ At the time, you shook your head.... "Why? ...... How can people buy this? That's not a song.... That's a dying animal..... It's a CIA torture device.....
Share your worse distant and recent musical memories here.... Let's have a laugh....

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Sheepdog commented Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 4:48pm

We'll start with this song.... A bad song.... A nauseating song.... Could've chosen anything from this band.... I really couldn't stomach looking at David's sock filled tights, so I opted for this clip..... Note; the chorus "It's got what it takes" etc etc etc doesn't have a word in it bigger than one syllable.... A truly over produced yet dumbed down piece of dried vomit......

Sheepdog

fitzroy-21's picture
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fitzroy-21 commented Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 5:25pm
zenagain's picture
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zenagain commented Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 5:55pm

Nice try Fitzy but I dare you to sit through the entirety of this god-awful song:-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWLhrHVySgA&nohtml5=False

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zenagain's picture
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zenagain commented Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 6:00pm

And if you haven't smashed the screen of your computer in yet, this one will get you over the line.

Imagine the long version? You'd be all Charles Manson by now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5cljpBr8Fw

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fitzroy-21's picture
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fitzroy-21 commented Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 6:08pm

Your killing me Zen...............

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fitzroy-21 commented Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 6:12pm

Pull the toothpicks out of your eyes with this one..........

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbUENJ5FjBk

simba's picture
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simba commented Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 6:13pm

Zen,im seriously worried about you mate..........cant believe you knew these songs existed,hope you havent got The Best Of the above..............NURSE!!!!!!!! no wonder you have ear problems...

simba

Sheepdog's picture
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Sheepdog commented Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 6:15pm

Stop!!!! Make it stop!!!!!!! Bahahahaha.
Zen and fitz..... If you want to know how to put the you tube clip up like I did instead of just the link, this is how;

Just below the actual clip you are watching, (and just above the comments), you'll see 3 options - "add to", "share" and "more"......
Click on "share"....

When you've clicked on share, another option will appear, called "embed".... (as in embed that clip somewhere)....... So click on embed....... A really big link address will appear....... Use that link instead of the one you've been using, and paste exactly how you have been..... that will "embed" the clip into your comment...
Give it a try.... :)

Sheepdog

fitzroy-21's picture
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fitzroy-21 commented Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 6:19pm

No SD, we want you to suffer by clicking on it to find out just how bad it is.............hahahahaha.

Thanks for the heads up though :)

zenagain's picture
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zenagain commented Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 6:27pm

This is hilarious. Nice one Fitzy.

I'll see what I can do Sheepy but after Fitzy's song, the only thing I want to 'embed' is cotton wool in my ears:)

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zenagain's picture
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zenagain commented Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 6:29pm

Here's a Sunday arvo special for Simba:)

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zenagain commented Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 6:45pm

I'm on a roll now-

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zenagain commented Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 6:46pm

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zenagain's picture
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zenagain commented Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 6:47pm

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Sheepdog's picture
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Sheepdog commented Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 6:48pm

fitzroy-21 wrote: No SD, we want you to suffer by clicking on it to find out just how bad it is.............hahahahaha.

Thanks for the heads up though :)

Wow...................... You not a very nice person, are you...... ;p

Sheepdog

zenagain's picture
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zenagain commented Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 6:48pm

The challenge has been met and dare I say bested.

En garde adversaire!

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Sheepdog's picture
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Sheepdog commented Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 6:56pm

Fitzy deserves this....... He really does.....

Sheepdog

fitzroy-21's picture
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fitzroy-21 commented Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 7:12pm

Here ya go SD

zenagain's picture
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zenagain commented Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 7:36pm

Nice one Fitzy, but if we're going to fight from the trenches of Ramsay St, we'd better make it a two pronged attack:-

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benski's picture
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benski commented Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 7:48pm

Alright you amateurs, stop linking through songs on my high rotation play list and get stuck into this beauty. Two people who should have known better....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9G4jnaznUoQ

Although I'm guilty of posting this before.

Sheepdog's picture
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Sheepdog commented Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 7:59pm

Ok...... If benksi and fitz are going to use the disgraceful practice of not embedding, for purely sadistic reasons, I have no other option...... No one puts sheepy in the corner..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9BbUqHrWFI

Sheepdog

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Sheepdog commented Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 8:03pm

After that laxative of a song, you'll soon be loosening up, and will be ready for THIS!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2IH8tNQAzSs

Sheepdog

fitzroy-21's picture
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fitzroy-21 commented Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 8:09pm

Welcome aboard benski.
Sheepy, that is seriously terrible.
This is for Zen also.
Take this ................ Sssshhhhh, I've secretly got a soft spot for Kylie

benski's picture
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benski commented Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 8:28pm

Cheers Fitz, Good to be on board the Good Ship Earbleed. I'm gonna try and get a little closer to my own spotify playlist with this one. And I'm embedding Sheepdog, I saw how easy it was and decided I'd give it a try...so there's no surprise, you're probably not even reading this crap....on topic, first heard Neil when I was 8 and loved the tunes straight away. Kind of dreamy, melancholic and then raw and angry a bit later. I loved it but I really didn't know why. Something just struck a chord.

And then eventually I came across this, as we all must at some point.

A song by a truly legendary musician that I think is quite possibly the worst song in the history of the known universe.

benski's picture
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benski commented Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 8:33pm

Oh and sheepdog, you've revealed yourself to be a sadistic bastard in starting this.

And it just might be the best thread ever!

fitzroy-21's picture
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fitzroy-21 commented Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 8:36pm

ENOUGH.....................I need to sleep without bad nightmares and flashbacks.

I will come back with shockers tomorrow.

This is hilarious :)

Get these horrible songs out of my head.

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away commented Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 9:34pm
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away commented Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 9:37pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vA_iMuZ3ZDw&nohtml5=False

Make sure you stick around to at least 1:05.

I agree, no embedding is more fun.

away's picture
away's picture
away commented Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 9:39pm

Some prime stuff from Cronulla.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjrnhkBHZvw&nohtml5=False

Good night gentlemen.

zenagain's picture
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zenagain commented Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 10:19pm

Away san- you monster!

The gauntlet has well and truly been laid down. Those are pure awful.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0Q5JFHrGNk

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zenagain's picture
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zenagain commented Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 10:28pm

Catchy- bwa ha ha ha ha haaaaaa!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k85mRPqvMbE

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Sheepdog's picture
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Sheepdog commented Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 11:31pm

Ok..... Before I go to bed humming some of these truly ghastly creations, I think we should all reflect on how bad mainstream Australian country music really is......... It's goodnight from me..... And its goodnight from him.....

Sheepdog

southey's picture
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southey commented Monday, 11 Apr 2016 at 1:15am

You guys are amateurs in this department .
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=T0kLDpK_YNo

I always sing this chorus at full voice ,when I'm paddling into a bomb set wherever is packed .
Thanks Wiz ' , so talented !
Edit . Honourable mention Zen ! Jacko another Genius .

" SA's Reserve Capacity "

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fitzroy-21 commented Monday, 11 Apr 2016 at 5:36am

Hahahahaha, I knew you'd come in with a clanger southey. It may be on par with Zen, at least same code...

Away and SD, my mind is ruined for the day.

zenagain's picture
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zenagain commented Monday, 11 Apr 2016 at 9:02am

Evil Southey.

A little light relief while I regroup.

In the car forum ages ago I mentioned I had a piece of shit Corona I bought off a chick I was trying to bed. Anyway, the tape player was broken and this groups 'best of' tape was stuck in it and wouldn't eject. I had to play this on a continuos loop. Rocking up to out of the way spots with this pumping didn't exactly add to my cred:-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TMRCuB0Ykc8

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loungelizard's picture
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loungelizard commented Monday, 11 Apr 2016 at 1:01pm

benski wrote: Oh and sheepdog, you've revealed yourself to be a sadistic bastard in starting this.

And it just might be the best thread ever!

GONAD_MAN's picture
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GONAD_MAN commented Monday, 11 Apr 2016 at 1:08pm

https://youtu.be/3zWwd8n2JVI

Found this one. Could be Zens pre surf amp up song.

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loungelizard commented Monday, 11 Apr 2016 at 1:09pm

a fine choice by benski, in neil youngs defence i think there was an element of "metal machine music" contractual obligation and a lawsuit involved with that execrable album.

as a genre i vote for those surf music strummers , jones, frankenreiter etc, in the words of "the inbetweeners 2", on arriving at a hostel and checking out the crew/girls etc, "theres always some cunt with a guitar…"

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thermalben commented Monday, 11 Apr 2016 at 1:14pm

It's a slightly different kind of song (by definition), but ever since last Thursday I've had the theme to 'Beyond 2000' swirling around in my head thanks to The Checkout. 

zenagain's picture
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zenagain commented Monday, 11 Apr 2016 at 1:17pm

"theres always some cunt with a guitar…"

That would be a great titile for a song.

Gonadman, sounds like I'm stuck in a Pachinko parlor in Akihabara. Awful!

Well done.

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Sheepdog's picture
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Sheepdog commented Monday, 11 Apr 2016 at 1:34pm

Ok..... Ok....... The fun and games are over..... Yes, we can post little Warwick Capper songs that maybe sold a handful of copies..... But what I am about to put you through infected more people than bird flu, zika, and ebola combined...... A song so hideous, yet so huge, aliens have not visited our planet since out of sheer disgust....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nNnk9eDDnw

Sheepdog

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floyd commented Monday, 11 Apr 2016 at 2:57pm
southey's picture
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southey commented Monday, 11 Apr 2016 at 3:34pm

Sheepdog wrote: Ok..... Ok....... The fun and games are over..... Yes, we can post little Warwick Capper songs that maybe sold a handful of copies..... But what I am about to put you through infected more people than bird flu, zika, and ebola combined...... A song so hideous, yet so huge, aliens have not visited our planet since out of sheer disgust....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nNnk9eDDnw

Come on SD , i know you like winning and all .
Just face it , the 'wiz wins hands down . Covers all bases of retarded , infact i think he maybe legally. !
Its the right measurement of bad ( not selling any copy's ) despite being promoted by good ole' money bags Jeffrey Edelstein . [ That man could sell ice skates to paraplegics / (and probably did ) ] .

Anyway nice mention of " Charlene " , i beleive the ABC's " the Late Show " , may have dedicated half as show to her .

Maybe this thread could be followed by the best songs written as piss takes .

Still on the late show , " Shit Scared " was inspired by the real life ?!? documentary of Canadian Ken Carter , which in turn inspired Ammonia to write the song " Ken Carter " on the Album name also inspired " Mint 400 ".
Other mentions for such piss take material would surely have to go to TISM , the 'gurg , the Fauves .

" SA's Reserve Capacity "

Sheepdog's picture
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Sheepdog commented Monday, 11 Apr 2016 at 3:54pm

Southey writes "Come on SD , i know you like winning and all ."

I don't think there are any winners in this thread, southwald ..... Bahahahaha.......

Sheepdog

lostdoggy's picture
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lostdoggy commented Monday, 11 Apr 2016 at 4:20pm

Belle and Sebastian thought Charlene's song was so good that they would rip it off straight (Take your carriage clock and shove it).
I enjoyed the Warwick song, I must say.

Debbie Gibson popped into the thread yet?

zenagain's picture
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zenagain commented Monday, 11 Apr 2016 at 4:37pm

The only redeeming part of this song is the gorgeous young lady in the pink bikini.

The rest?

Utter tripe.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXB4LspLQE0

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nomad1's picture
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nomad1 commented Monday, 11 Apr 2016 at 4:45pm

after watching the t20 world cup recently i heard this song. got stuck in my head which is a shame because it blows.
https://youtu.be/Y963o_1q71M

zenagain's picture
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zenagain commented Monday, 11 Apr 2016 at 4:55pm

Nomads a champion......

WTF, this next one isn't even music:-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6j4f8cHBIM

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talkingturkey's picture
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talkingturkey commented Monday, 11 Apr 2016 at 5:02pm

Too much low hanging fruit. Meh.

I'm with Souffle. Where's the subversive chart-topping shit?

For example:

the art of masturbation (covered by and catered for both sexes).

"Turning Japanese" by the Vapors

"She Bop" by Cyndi Lauper

C'mon kids and nannas, sing along!

southey's picture
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southey commented Monday, 11 Apr 2016 at 5:22pm

Gary G just sent me a fax .

Detailing his idol " the wiz' " ( another man well aware of his own rig and the importance of sunbeds )
, sharing with me the existance of a rare B side .......

CCAAAPPPPPPEEEERRRRRRR !

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOMdvwqKgpc&nohtml5=False

" SA's Reserve Capacity "