Submitted by neville-beats-buddha on Mon, 08/26/2013 - 12:05
My wife and I had a baby last month and now that all the excitement has died down its starting to hit me how much its going to affect my surfing. Dont get me wrong I love him to bits but I used to surf every morning as regularly as church. Now I'm lucky to get out twice a week.
How did everyone else handle kids when they came along? Did your surfing suffer? Does it get any better over time? Any help would be good.
You won't be surfing every day, Nev. Not for a while. Better get used to it.
It kinda depends on your wife how much you will be surfing: Does she wanna sleep when the baby sleeps? If so, bolt out the door at the first snore and catch every wave you see in 30 minutes. This will be the pattern of your surfs for a while - rushed, but at least you're getting wet.
Also, try to surf when there's help around (but don't take the piss), and if your wife lets you surf be very vocal in your appreciation of it. As alluded to above, she's the one who's been most inconvenienced in the whole business so go way over and above with thanks and treats.
Once the baby starts sleeping better at night - and subsequently so does your wife - your prospects of surfing will markedly improve.
Thanks for the advice Stunet. The inlaws have come and gone and probably wont be back for a while (out of country, and out of state). There's not much help left. I understand what you mean about rushing the surfs but thats what before work surfs are like anyway. I'll just have to treat every surf as an early!
Yeah surfing time is reduced a lot with kids (proportional to the number of kids, eh Stu?). Still, as long as you've got the ability to jump in for a quick session every now and then, you should do ok. Definitely expect a lot less water time in the mornings though, as that's when the support is needed most of all.
Just after my first boy was born I visited a fella who lived around the corner. He sometimes visits these forums, and is the father of five boys, two of whom are twins.
Said he to me when waxing lyrical about the lack of sleep and lack of surfing of the first-time father:
"Ahh, you don't have to worry about one. One is a breeze. When you have twins you'll know it - I didn't surf for four years!"
One year later I saw him in the surf and paddled up for a chat:
"Remember when you told me having twins was hell?"
"Yep...having twins is hell."
"Well, Tash and I are having twins.!"
"(Stalling) Err, yeah, but I was only joking....it's not that bad."
Wrong. Having twins IS that bad. Enjoy the peace and quiet of one baby Neville, you lucky, lucky bastard.
Ha ha ha.... Having twins or multiples under five is friggin hard work and sure it knocks your surfing time around. However I was lucky on two accounts... First I made my stand early on in the husband/wife stand off and held my ground with the bold statement, " I was surfing long before you came into my life and the way your going I will surfing a long time after your gone". I was shaking in boots all the while I was waiting for the response but I got away with it...
Sometimes you get lucky.
Ps...second account.... It helps if surfing is your life and brings in the $$$$.
Ha ha ha... Stu I know the guy your talking about and he's a prick to his wife and full of shit. He went to the north shore twice and travelled up and down the east coast through the entire twin thing, NZ, Indo.... Fact is he just has a magical wife. xxx
Here's a tip - move in with your in-laws. For learning to hold your tongue and being given frank and ongoing lessons in your character deficiencies there's nothing quite like it.
At least I can surf when I want.
abc , that is hilarious. Hope there's a big inheritance coming your way, you would have paid for it with your blood.
I have a 7 week old boy who is a great kid and is low maintenance as far as newborns go. He sleeps well and isn't too needy but my surfing has suffered.
No runs up or down the coast for a good swell on weekends and surfing everyday which was my therapy has been cut back to twice a week.
I'm not proud of it but when there's a decent wave on I've lied to my partner and said I'm stuck at work for an extra couple of hours.
Lucky for her though the waves have been as small for a long time now as I can remember since taking surfing back up 3 years ago.
It's reassuring to here other people are going through the same shit.
People that don't surf or aren't as passionate about their past time or sport seem to think I'm being really petty.
Maybe I am but I need it to let of steam.
I've been drinking more now that I'm surfing less.
While it's flat, Bushido, the trick is to make it appear like you're really sacrificing your surfing time to spend more hours with the baby/family. Don't overplay your hand but convey the appearance of selflessness, and then when the surf picks up give subtle reminders about how much you sacrificed and perhaps now could be a good time to be rewarded?
Even though you can't surf you should still get credit for it.
Magical wife, indeed. Count yourself very lucky!
good luck Nev.think of every surf you get as manna from heaven.wait till all the weekend sport stuff starts.ferrying one to netball,softball.the other to footy.little athletics,cricket.all of a sudden you realize your board is ten years old,and so are most of your clothes.as someone else said you still would'nt change it for quids.with my two i thought if i get them into surfing...voila,ticking all the boxes quality family time and i get to go surfin more often. well youngest was freaked out by the actual fish in the shallows.lost her in one session.older one hung in there a lot longer but gave it up for grid iron football.the best laid plans......anyway both grown up now,money river has reversed current and i've actually got a bigger quiver than before they were born.hang in there nev only twenty years to go.