Aqua Turds

yorkessurfer's picture
yorkessurfer started the topic in Wednesday, 12 Dec 2012 at 12:00am

About 20 years ago I sailed through Eastern Indonesia with Paul King on the madien trip of his first yacht the Sri Wedana, a pig of a boat that sank 12 months later. We had surfed our way through Sumbawa and then further east to some of the more isolated islands that none of us had ever been to or surfed before including Paul.
Now for those who don't know, Paul King was something of a Captain Cook figure in Indonesian surfing and discovered and named many of the now well known waves in the archipelago.
I asked him about Periscope's and how he had come up with the name? He said upon discovering and surfing the perfect righthander for the first time one of the boys layed a shit in the lineup which proceeded to float vertically upright in the channel next to the wave. Paul said that it looked like a submarine periscope. And that's how Periscope's got it's name!
So does anyone else have any funny, interesting or even horror stories of Aqua Turds?

indo-dreaming's picture
indo-dreaming's picture
indo-dreaming commented Wednesday, 12 Dec 2012 at 5:46pm

No storys on aqua turds, but jealous of that trip would have been amazing, although i would have preferred to be on a boat traveling through western Indonesia 20 years ago :P

Good name Periscopes and damn fine right when its on, i remember the first time i surfed it it was head high and perfect and only a few guys out, hollow but not heavy just heaps of fun, next morning swell was bigger real solid long period groundswell with heaps of power, first wave went over the falls and nearly drowned paddled to the channel out of breath, next set broke a board and two leggys and there was only half a dozen guys out.

ben-colyer's picture
ben-colyer's picture
ben-colyer commented Thursday, 13 Dec 2012 at 5:52pm

I was told a story about at guy who (while not exactly and aqua turd) dropped one in his wetty. Thinking that the nugget would stay in the aproximate region of where it was deposited, said guy continued to surf for the next hour or so. when the time came to remove the wetsuit in the carpark, people bolted. There was crap from his neck to his ankles.

indo-dreaming's picture
indo-dreaming's picture
indo-dreaming commented Thursday, 13 Dec 2012 at 6:36pm

Actually i did have one aqua turd experience that wasn't so good.

Was paddling from drop off boat to lineup at Macaronis early one morning kind of refreshing my face under the water as i came up an human floating aqua turn bumped into my face (nose and mouth) at first i just thought it was a piece of wood, then i noticed it was a human aqua turd, not a good feeling knowing someones crap just bumped into your face.

Also sometimes stay in a village on a remote island in offshore sumatra, small village maybe 50 to 100 people and a total paradise with a fun wave out front, but the only thing is only a tiny % of houses have a toilet, so everyone else craps on the beach or bush, early morning surf checks aren't a pretty sight with everyone up for an early squat.

If the tides coming in it cleans up the beach, but can end up in the line up and if tides going out there a lot of stranded turds on a white sandy palm laden beach, although everyone also just lets there pigs run free range and the pigs actually make a meal of it and clean up the beach.

shaun's picture
shaun's picture
shaun commented Thursday, 13 Dec 2012 at 8:31pm

Nice subject Yorker, I thought it was another Smucko thread.

I'm the scab you keep picking off and is there again the next day.

mundies's picture
mundies's picture
mundies commented Thursday, 13 Dec 2012 at 9:30pm

Indo-dreaming: Macaronis craparonis these days. No real current to take shit out of the bay, on a good day easily 5 plus boats in the channel with 10 surfers each plus boat crew. Thats 65-70 crew minimum pooing straight through the boat into the water at Macas with no real water clearance plus whatever comes through from the local crew. I have a couple of pics of nice barrels with pooey bits and shredded soggy toilet paper in the lip. Felt a bit ill after surfing there..

mundies

indo-dreaming's picture
indo-dreaming's picture
indo-dreaming commented Friday, 14 Dec 2012 at 8:22am

Indo-dreaming: Macaronis craparonis these days. No real current to take shit out of the bay, on a good day easily 5 plus boats in the channel with 10 surfers each plus boat crew. Thats 65-70 crew minimum pooing straight through the boat into the water at Macas with no real water clearance plus whatever comes through from the local crew. I have a couple of pics of nice barrels with pooey bits and shredded soggy toilet paper in the lip. Felt a bit ill after surfing there..

By: "mundies"

Really..haven't surfed there for years, but thought the 2 boat system was in place and generally working?

Charter boats are a good way to travel through the island chain, but yeah ive surfed with a lot of there crap, floating vegetable peelings etc and im sure some boats rubbish gets dropped at sea, plus there turds, not to mention the damage anchoring on reefs has.

mundies's picture
mundies's picture
mundies commented Friday, 14 Dec 2012 at 1:09pm

Last year the 2 boat system had been suspended as the resort/accommodation at Macas was wiped out by the tsunami. I heard they were going to bring it back in again the season just been but not sure if thats the case

mundies

gman's picture
gman's picture
gman commented Friday, 14 Dec 2012 at 4:14pm

My mate tells a funny story. He was right into JetCats, or powerboating, and apparently they would have these big BBQs after the race with proper "groupies" (mental image not pretty). Anyway he was wearing overalls (apparently standard attire for these blokes) and decided, while chatting up a couple of these girls, that he was dying for a number 2. So off he goes over the hill for a squat. He returns to continue working his magic on these two girls only to have them run from the vicinity, horrified. Turns out his nugget had landed in his overalls during transmission, and has flung up onto his shoulder when putting his overalls back on. So attempted to tune with said nugget resting on right shoulder. Classic.

floyd's picture
floyd's picture
floyd commented Friday, 14 Dec 2012 at 4:42pm

The gym I was a member of had a 20 metre pool ........ nah, its too nasty to repeat here, needless to say make sure your gym's pool has strict water testing procedures

indo-dreaming's picture
indo-dreaming's picture
indo-dreaming commented Friday, 14 Dec 2012 at 7:33pm

Last year the 2 boat system had been suspended as the resort/accommodation at Macas was wiped out by the tsunami. I heard they were going to bring it back in again the season just been but not sure if thats the case

By: "mundies"

Oh ya...yeah system was back in place this year, not run by the resort but the local village, apparently even had police out there at times to ensure boats played by the rules, few boats really kicked up a stink lot of talk for and against on social media.

yorkessurfer's picture
yorkessurfer's picture
yorkessurfer commented Saturday, 15 Dec 2012 at 12:47am

When I was a lad and camping at Pondilowie Bay my mate Steve went off into the dunes to have a dump. He told me later that while having a squat he lost his balance in the soft sand and sat right in his freshly laid pile. In horror he ripped off his shorts and bolted down the long track to the beach.
As he rounded a corner two teenaged girls were walking back in the opposite direction. He must of made quite a sight dressed only in a teeshirt and with his rear well soiled.
When he got to the beach he ignored the packed lineup and plunged in to clean himself up. I think his dignity would have taken much longer to recover.

rattle's picture
rattle's picture
rattle commented Saturday, 15 Dec 2012 at 11:16am

After hanging onto a piss in my wettie for ages I finally came in. I was quickly changing into my clothes in the carpark when a car with a mum and 3 girls turned up. Having got my boardies on I headed behind the nearest large bush for the eagerly awaited pee. I dropped my boardies and was about to do the business when I looked down. Between my legs was a black snake with its head up maybe 6" off the ground. How I missed being bitten I'll never know.

zsurfnut's picture
zsurfnut's picture
zsurfnut commented Saturday, 15 Dec 2012 at 6:47pm

Aqua Turds ....only a sleezy charter boat operator would think sucking on someone elses shit while paying 3 grand for a couple of weeks for a floating flee infested bed to surf is a bit of a laugh and part of the gig. Believe me , it's the most disgusting thing you could do ...and it ain't fun . I'm from Vic where everypne pisses and moans about the gunna out fall , believe me ...I would rather drink that than surf at some of these infamous spots.
Hey Charter Boat Operators , get with the times you hippercrits.

Aido

rusty-moran's picture
rusty-moran's picture
rusty-moran commented Saturday, 15 Dec 2012 at 8:42pm

Was camping at Desert Point with my mate Scarrdy (Adam Scard, same guy who gets some shots up on here).

6am surf check and walk 50m up the point and round the corner to king bog spot slightly in side the river/lake which is closed up with plenty of sand.

Lay cable and bury with said sand. Walk back feeling champion.

Off Scarrdy goes.

Comes back fuming: "Which one of you buggers used my bog spot this morning? I just uncovered your turd!"

Whats the chances? We were pissing ourselves for ages!