Say you were a trendsetter, right.
A reluctant hipster who sneered at the word but privately acknowledged the title. Say you owned a fixie, wore cardigans and brown shoes and tried to push the fashion boundaries by tidying your facial hair into a well-groomed, credible, Salvador Dali-lite moustache.
Say you wanted to be taken seriously.
And say that, once a year every year, a do-gooder organisation came along that raised a bit of coin for do-good research by ridiculing moustaches, thereby condemning them to a fate of perpetual mirth. Every other fashion item and accessory in history - even the most ridiculous, like cardigans and brown shoes - is allowed a reprieve and further whirls on the fashion cycle. Except moustaches.
You'd be pissed off too right?
Moustaches are for life, not just Movember!
Watch out for the mo-ins, ay?
Mo-ins. Nice one!