Last splash

Stu Nettle picture
Stu Nettle (stunet)
Surfpolitik

Timing, as they say, is everything, and mine has been bad. The weekend just gone, while the Founders' Cup was unfolding in all its novel glory, I was knee deep in shit and mud. You think that’s a euphemism for something? I assure you it’s not, simply the end result of living in an old house, with old pipes, surrounded by big trees. So the weekend’s historic event largely passed without my eyeballs counting as a viewer and all the editorialising went down elsewhere.

A cursory whip around the websites show everything is as it should be; the pool has outraged many and entertained a few. No-one appears indifferent. None of which really matters in the eyes of the WSL, and not because we’re all “in the wood”, as Slater summed up his bias, but because core surfers are no longer their core customers. The wave pool technology and the broadcast, the format, even the newly introduced terms (“runs”), all these machinations are for other people’s eyeballs. It’s been the case since Dirk Ziff bought in.

The WSL will call the Founders' Cup a success based on the widespread mainstream news coverage, but they’re canny enough to know that it’s no indication of a trend. A false reading. Always is with these historical events. 530 million people watched Neil Armstrong take a giant leap out of Apollo 11, and a fraction of those for Apollo 12 which landed just four months later.

The first thing inspires awe, the second is a bit of a yawn. What was real for the space race, holds true for the wave race. Each event - the moon landing and the first wave pool event - provoked big questions, existential thoughts, hope and dread. So today’s mainstream news headlines are no different to 1969. Take a look for yourself, they’re fixating on the shock of the new rather than the contest itself or the surfing performances on show. The WSL will likewise fall back to Earth on their return voyage. The only way they’ll ever be gifted those non-endemic eyeballs again is if the wave pool gets a run at the Olympics.

And hey, there’s Fernando Aguerre on the podium!

To date, the kooky ISA chief has resisted the WSL’s entreaty that Tokyo should be in a pool, but his appearance at the awards ceremony increases the intrigue. At any rate the five ring circus comes around just once every four years making it nigh on impossible to build a business case. The WSL need regularity to build an audience. Expect many more comps in the nocean.

Did you enjoy Kelly Slater firing up the crowd and marinating in their adoration? The slow poolside walks. The photos ops. The format that saw him surf last and potentially clinch the title? What a moment that would have been. His comportment over the two days should put to rest the notion that his pool is an altruistic gift to surfingdom. He wore Quiksilver now makes his own clothes, he rode for CI now makes his own boards, he surfed ocean waves now makes them himself. Kelly makes pro surfing in his own image. There should be no mistaking who the ‘founder’ in the title is.

Pro surfing is a strange beast. It both attracts and repels its core constituents. For thirty years corporate creep suffused the sport: boards, shirts, hats, ads, but it was easily ignored because, for one, it was those corporations ponying up the dollars - pro contests wouldn’t have existed without them. Secondly, pro surfing gave the sport a centrepoint to rally around. It provided a gauge on surfing performance that we could all relate to, from grizzled old walruses to eager grommets. You could dislike the form, but appreciate the performance. Websites and forums thrived on the paradox. It formed a backbone to surf culture.

But I suspect this commonality will be lost in the pool. Reading some of the criticisms from the weekend, pool surfing is being painted as the the sell out and ocean competitions the free surfing soul brother. Which on face value is ludicrous, there’s nothing natural about priority buoys, heat strategies, and Jeep leader jerseys. What I think is causing the ire is that contest surfing is being removed from the commons; places everyone could visit, places they could relate to, feel some ownership over.

They’d tolerated the corporate creep because they could at least comment on pro surfing, and they could comment with good authority. But now? You’ve got no skin in the game, pal.

The WSL is gonna have to make some changes from the weekend. Me, I’m in the wood too, can’t make an impartial observation, though I think the verse / chorus / verse repetition of the pool will be soma for any viewer. Sure, a snowboard half-pipe is also static, but then they’re busting three storeys over the coping. The WSL makes the comparison to that extreme sport at their own peril. Spontaneity is key, it provides tension, encourages improvisation. And cut the interviews after every ‘run’, there’s not that much to be said, especially now that you’ve taken out all the ocean knowledge, fitness, and chance.

But look at me here, wishing the pool was more like nature when the idea is to transcend it…

Kelly’s admitted the pool was his “totally selfish motivation”. Understandable really: got the money, make a barrel. In private it’s fine. But he’s dropping his gig on a long-established culture, usurping convention and custom, making strange the sport we knew. No forecast, no surf check, no sets, no luck, no gripping tension, and no native advantage gained from spending countless hours in the ocean. Not for the surfer, not for the internet commenters.

On the weekend we saw what will replace all of that. Don't expect any giant leaps into the mainstream.

Comments

mugofsunshine's picture
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mugofsunshine Monday, 7 May 2018 at 4:51pm

That was a cracking read Stu. Thank you.

simba's picture
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simba Monday, 7 May 2018 at 5:29pm

Good read Stu and its funny cause the more perfect barrels are ridden the less exciting it is to me.You realize with the Ocean with all its flaws and unpredictability, that thats what makes surfing what it is,Kellys wave pool is totally the opposite,the more you see it the more mundane it becomes....to me anyway.

dead kennedy's picture
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dead kennedy Wednesday, 9 May 2018 at 12:22am

spot on

PaulG's picture
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PaulG Monday, 7 May 2018 at 5:19pm

good contest, wave pool looks fun, I think Kelly just wants to share (yes I'm a Kelly fan) and surfing is mainstream already used by advertiser's with people who don't surf for people who don't surf just for the Kool of it - which isn't good for our sport

rightfootfwd's picture
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rightfootfwd Monday, 7 May 2018 at 5:22pm

In the same way that tow surfing changed the realms of big wave surfing (only to see surfers again covet paddle effort), and terrain parks changed the realm of big mountain snow riding (bringing park "game" back to mountain "hucks"), this will ultimately help shift the realms of high performance surfing for airs and tube prowess.

Future iterations will need to address making a larger, more powerful wave (which they will), and this will improve the manoeuver possibilities and overall product (to that which I saw this weekend).

All this said, they will NEVER be able to disguise the fact that one is surfing in a pool (artificial terrain) or recreate the mystique of surfing a secluded break with a couple of mates, or being spat out of a seemingly un-makable pit.

....... it may help keep West Australians off the menu though!

freeride76's picture
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freeride76 Monday, 7 May 2018 at 5:32pm

You don't think the mainstream will buy it Stu?

stunet's picture
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stunet Monday, 7 May 2018 at 5:43pm

Once every four years they will, between the floor gymnastics and the equestrian. Unless the surfers are spinning cartoonish grabs ten foot off the lip, the hair-splitting repetition will be lost on George and Martha.

chook's picture
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chook Monday, 7 May 2018 at 6:24pm

maybe think you undestimate the appeal of dull, boring repetition to the tv-viewer. ...weather channel and golf are damn popular in north america

freeride76's picture
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freeride76 Monday, 7 May 2018 at 6:43pm

Hard to see it succeeding long term then, if they alienate the core audience/consumer.

We saw how that worked when the surf industry went looking for fresh markets.

tux's picture
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tux Tuesday, 8 May 2018 at 2:28pm

Dunno about that...Motorcross was just about kaput until they invented supercross...skating was gone until the x games...all they need is the right wrapper and the public will eat it up with a spoon...

Lanky Dean's picture
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Lanky Dean Tuesday, 8 May 2018 at 3:10pm

No one should refer to surfers as " core consumers" they are surfers.

freeride76's picture
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freeride76 Tuesday, 8 May 2018 at 7:46pm

Not to the WSL and co.

Lanky Dean's picture
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Lanky Dean Wednesday, 9 May 2018 at 9:48am

The first time I heard
"core consumers" it was bobby McKnight who said it.
Round that time I was living on the north shore and noticed big bobby was in town .
So every time I seen him driving or on the bike path I would just randomly yell "Core Consumer" as I rode past him. Then laugh out loud , I still get a chuckle out of it LOL !!!!!!

zenagain's picture
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zenagain Monday, 7 May 2018 at 5:41pm

Nice article Stu and hard to argue with any of it.

As a surfer, I kinda feel a little.. dirty.

boxright's picture
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boxright Monday, 7 May 2018 at 6:43pm

Not the last splash I'd say. Not by a long shot.

Ontheroad's picture
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Ontheroad Monday, 7 May 2018 at 6:49pm

For a man knee deep in shit, that was refreshingly insightful.

simba's picture
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simba Monday, 7 May 2018 at 6:50pm

well just saw Slaters last wave ,a right,in the final,foxtel replay and gotta say it he killed it....knows the wave inside out...one thing i did notice was Jordy was riding a firewire Slater designs and the board suited him really well......

RyanMcfall69's picture
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RyanMcfall69 Monday, 7 May 2018 at 6:56pm

kswaveco isn't even that good. Every contest should be held on the Mornington Penisula anywhere between sir johns and Portsea. Banks are way better and consistent then slaters kiddie pool with a better barrel section anyway. #hoaxcoastnocoast
#savethehoodedpluver
#nutella
#pissoffkelly

CryptoKnight's picture
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CryptoKnight Monday, 7 May 2018 at 6:59pm

I'm sure that they'll have a backup plan. Some sort of ayahausca fueled, spiritual luv fest. And if that fails...

dr-surf's picture
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dr-surf Monday, 7 May 2018 at 7:03pm

Cut to the Chase $120.00 a Wave? Just Lost All Interest. If they charged me at Bells today I'd Owe roughly $2000. But I'm not paying for those closeouts and dropins, make it $50.

surfing-cronulla's picture
surfing-cronulla's picture
surfing-cronulla Wednesday, 9 May 2018 at 7:19am

Supposedly costs AUD $3000 per wave, 4 waves per session, 2 lefts, 2 rights?
What happens if you fall off? Surfing it for the first time would be a huge gamble but at least you would have the pro shot vids the KSWC supply with your "session" to watch and contemplate your monumental waste of money.

Blowin's picture
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Blowin Monday, 7 May 2018 at 7:28pm

Epic read , Stu.

“ Kooky ISA chief “ and “ Nocean “ alone taking it to the top tier. Totally agree with the sentiments too. The WSL can “ run “ their tongue around my starfish if they think their stinking pool and their dollar world is going to define the surfing culture for any surfers I know.

Again , cheers for the read. You and Freeride are on fire.

Craig's picture
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Craig Tuesday, 8 May 2018 at 8:01am

Gotta say once I read "Nocean" it made my day.

freeride76's picture
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freeride76 Monday, 7 May 2018 at 7:47pm

Stu not sure what you mean by this: "They’d tolerated the corporate creep because they could at least comment on pro surfing, and they could comment with good authority. But now? You’ve got no skin in the game, pal."

Are you saying surfers can't or won't continue to comment on Pro Surfing because it's in a pool?
Go take a look at the WSL site and you'll people are as het up as ever.

stunet's picture
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stunet Monday, 7 May 2018 at 8:16pm

Nah, not that people will stop commenting but that they'll, in effect, stop caring about the welfare of the sport. For years, pro surfing has been hounded by criticisms but many of those were well-intentioned, came from places of genuine concern. I'm not sure that tough love will prevail in an age when the WSL ignores the core market and champions an alien arena.

PS: I've found the WSL site to be like YouTube or FB, where people will argue over shades of blue, just for the sake of arguing. Not much in the way of considered debate, which is what I find in indy surf media. The people on those sites are who I was referring to.

lostdoggy's picture
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lostdoggy Monday, 7 May 2018 at 8:34pm

My interest has waned a bit the last few years but I stopped caring fully after they cancelled Margs.
Flounders cup and Rio I doubt will do anything to get me back.

MidWestMonger's picture
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MidWestMonger Monday, 7 May 2018 at 9:13pm

Fully agree there lost doggy. wake me up when keramas starts. not wasting data watching webcasts of this sorta shite. watched one wave of leonardos, playing up to the crowd in the jetski on the way back, then adds for rio with that medina sook, go find another audience WSL im not interested

memlasurf's picture
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memlasurf Monday, 7 May 2018 at 8:36pm

Thanks Stu I love the analogy and Segway between Neil and Kelly. I only caught a glimpse with my wife (who isn't into surfing, but has tolerated it for many years) and she thought it was really small and boring. She has watched me glued to many a contest and sometimes she gets into it. For her as a civilian to say it was limp I thought pretty well summed up the shermozzel. It was so pathetic the way the whole thing was structured and run and Old Baldy with that cheesy grin whilst walking on the concrete absorbing the adoration, was for me sickening. Lets go back to the days when Eugene got up on stage and pissed him off through taking the piss. Surfing was once cool, that pool was very uncool cabaret. As you say he is bending surfing to suit himself. I get that the contestants enjoyed it, like modern Jazz musicians enjoy playing modern Jazz, however everybody else just doesn't get it and tune out. After watching the cream of the crop surfing that pissy little thing, it was really depressing. I loved Jordy's quote ... " it isn't really challenging, a 60 year old could get tubed out there (hey that is nearly me)". Golf telecasts are the definition of boredom, its just that there are a lot of punters who play it or aficionados who like to watch. Same goes for tennis and test cricket both of which are nearly free to do. WSL are looking for a life line and seem to be getting increasingly desperate. I loved watching J Bay last year; it was truly epic in the true sense of the word. This was pathetic in the true sense of the word.

rightfootfwd's picture
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rightfootfwd Tuesday, 8 May 2018 at 11:15am

Funny you mention Eugene. When I looked at the lineup for Australia - Mick, Parko, Wilko, Steph - I thought to myself, this is a mild stitch-up here, as none of these surfers have a renowned air game..... and the heralded judging criteria was going to reward "progressive" surfing (i.e. air game). I wonder if Kelly never really got over not getting the nod over Mick for doing that full rotation air out into the flats at Bells a couple of years ago (I thought he did, but thats just personal preference).

memlasurf's picture
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memlasurf Tuesday, 8 May 2018 at 11:22am

Yeah you could be right, if so Kelly was actually taking the piss which is a good thing. Yes what if you had Chippa Wilson, Ozzie Wrong, Mikey Mullet in the team, now that could be fun to watch.

RyanMcfall69's picture
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RyanMcfall69 Tuesday, 8 May 2018 at 12:35pm

What about Monti Mcfall pulling into a big centrals bomb!!! I would watch that!

memlasurf's picture
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memlasurf Tuesday, 8 May 2018 at 12:41pm

Yeah so you and your mates can laugh at me whilst I butcher the wave. I don't think so.

rightfootfwd's picture
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rightfootfwd Tuesday, 8 May 2018 at 6:06pm

Thats a good lineup! If I was the team manager and was picking a group of surfers to surf a 3ft wave with a tiny foldup barrel and the all or nothing aerial end section, then this is the crew (Probably still keep Tyler [she is ripping] and perhaps sally Fitz over Steph)...... and that is probably the criticism of the pools at the moment - they favour one type of surfer over another.... but that isn't the defining criteria to categorically say that the pool specialist is the better surfer!

memlasurf's picture
memlasurf's picture
memlasurf Tuesday, 8 May 2018 at 6:15pm

For sure and Chippas ink would be a match for that tough hombre Gabby and Ozzie has a bit as well. Mix it up and maybe the winner gets a free WSL tattoo with a the big grinning mug of Kelly at its centre on their right of left derrière. Perfect place for it I would think.

Switchfoot bob's picture
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Switchfoot bob Monday, 7 May 2018 at 9:17pm

Well everyone is still surfing backhand, this pool or other has to change it in the future surely................

blindboy's picture
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blindboy Monday, 7 May 2018 at 9:51pm

I suppose it is a lesson we all learn sooner or later, that being a good, or even great, surfer, is no protection against being a complete fucking goose. It may even be a risk factor! Look at me, look at me! I used to be world champion!

nextswell's picture
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nextswell Monday, 7 May 2018 at 10:17pm

Similar sentiment. Kelly’s wave, Kelly surfs the last wave to decide, then a victory lap for him? It’s all too much!

CryptoKnight's picture
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CryptoKnight Monday, 7 May 2018 at 10:24pm

Another rave review!!!

Ted from the moon's picture
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Ted from the moon Monday, 7 May 2018 at 11:35pm

Anyone who really surfs should have been super annoyed at Fernando Aguerre being on the Podium. Anyone who really wants surfing to be mainstream is trying to ruin it for the rest of us.

We all know this - but the world marches on. Pools are here. So has comp surfing been for a long time. The pools have the potential to change things. But the way they are doing it confuses me. The judging was terrible. It is still based on old school idealism. Its almost like we have gone back in time. Why is everyone getting high scores for doing the same thing as everyone else? There is no reward for pushing things. Most of those waves were surfed well but the scores were far too high. I would have thought if you could link a few turns, get slotted link a few more (just like all your fellow competitors) and finish the waves you should get a 5 or a 6. JJF (when he completed a wave) almost got a 10. But really it was not that great. Felipe tried to do something off the first part of the wave and got a 10. Its like we are back to the early days of man on man surfing- and they are being scored for the number of turns they do on the way to the pond side / beach. Are we now back to scoring one air a 10?

I believe most of the scores were well over done. The judges are not creating an environment for the surfers to go for broke. There is no incentive to go for it. The people who go large and complete should be the ones getting the rewards. If everyone is doing the same thing then the only difference in the scores (as we have seen the last few days) is those that landed an air on the last part of the wave - bar Felipe who made an effort early on (but lets be real it wasn't that good given what we have seen him do before). Whilst they maintain this approach we will not see any real creativity explosions in terms of moves or boards. The judging format is holding it back big time.

Its clear that its not that easy to surf well - given the number of 'athletes' who failed to finish rides - but they need to be encouraged to push it more. And the current judging format does not do that. Its like lets do three turn to the beach....get slotted, come out, do two more, get slotted and then finish. How about creating an environment where you mixx it up WSL - its not the 70's Coke Surfabout - haven't we moved on from that?

Felipe's wave at J-Bay was way better than what he won a Jeep for at the pond - have we really moved forward?.............I don't think so.

But what I really loved about the comp was how Pete Mel kept pleading for more surf time at the KS Ranch - he has had only one session. Which he kept reminding us about - showing us his real importance :)

groovie's picture
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groovie Tuesday, 8 May 2018 at 6:47am

Novelty event, held on a novelty wave. Not the real deal, not even close!

Sprout's picture
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Sprout Tuesday, 8 May 2018 at 7:03am

Surfing for anyone who doesn't surf is the most boring fucking sport to watch. After a while it's even pretty boring for those that do. They've just made it even more boring and expect some frenzy of attention. Good luck with that.

davetherave's picture
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davetherave Tuesday, 8 May 2018 at 7:56am

That was really well written Stu. maybe you need to be knee deep in shit more often !!!!! ha ha. I just think it is one more choice we have now as surfer's. I think it has merit for junior comps, training etc, but personally, the only comps that get me excited to watch are 6 foot plus ocean swells with highly skilled competitors having a crack.

garyg1412's picture
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garyg1412 Tuesday, 8 May 2018 at 8:00am

Two Things:
1) Is it just me or did Foxtel have 10 times as many ad breaks. Maybe the "controlled" format presented that "corporate" opportunity.
2) I found myself anticipating the wipeouts intead of the moves as they were so predictable!!

Reefeater's picture
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Reefeater Tuesday, 8 May 2018 at 8:49am

I will get up at any time of the day or night and tune into a WSL comp at any venue, sometimes even organise my day around certain heats. I watched one hour of action on the first day which was more than enough. Yesterday in the " grand finale" the most exciting moment in the Founders Cup .............. I was at work with my computer alerting me to the fact the Founders cup was ON , but alas didn't have the slightest urge to bother checking it out.

Greg Cruse's picture
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Greg Cruse Tuesday, 8 May 2018 at 8:58am

It's a bit like eating fish really. I had a feed of barramundi cooked in Australia and grown in a pond in Thailand. Looked great but nothing like the wild fish that comes from its natural domain. There is a place for it I guess if you don't want to go out to sea and catch the real thing.

tango's picture
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tango Tuesday, 8 May 2018 at 9:05am

That's possibly in your top 3 reads of all time, Stu. Great work.
With the exception of the Cape Fear comp at Solander, possibly the best contest ever, I'm more of a highlights reel viewer of comps. No joy watching two people sit and wait for sets or get motored around the buoy on a ski. I watched a couple of pool waves on the WSL app and was pretty ho-hum, just repetitive 2ft boredom, really. Even JJF was predictable, and there was no sport in the wipeouts to add insult to injury. Gimme a mongrel buckling north point bet each way any day.

Fleazool's picture
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Fleazool Tuesday, 8 May 2018 at 11:42am

Didn't see the comp but watched a few replays of some rides last night.
Lasted about 10 minutes. 8 turns to the beach and a little keg?
Pretty boring viewing really. Apparently they were the highlights.

thermalben's picture
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thermalben Tuesday, 8 May 2018 at 12:59pm

BTW, appreciate the reminder Stu. Classic album (their latest is really good too!).

Here's the appropriately titled No Aloha.

crg's picture
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crg Tuesday, 8 May 2018 at 1:10pm

Be interesting to see after the release of the Waco pool footage just how this whole wavepool race ends up. Have WSL bought the Betamax technology? Will a completely new "rebel" tour with superior alternative technology steal the "made for tv" dollars WSL are chasing so hard? Do I hear Redbull in the background lurking with intent? Would you rather watch what we saw on the weekend or Chippa, Alby, Dane etc in a Waco style pool?

ron's picture
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ron Tuesday, 8 May 2018 at 1:41pm

A combo of Kellys pool crossed with the Waco pool with some more size would be right on the money. Not that it would matter either way, the wsl are kidding themselves if they think surfing will ever make any real money from a new or old TV audience.

For non surfers it is boring, repetitive and too subjective. When someone new to surfing sees a 5,6,7,8,9 and cant tell much difference they will not get into the competition. Ball sports have clear cut scores everyone can see, even golf, people like that. People want to tune out the world and watch something with a black/white winner and loser. Surfing does not offer this, not even close. I have friends who can watch cricket all day long and have an interest in surfing themselves, once a fortnight or month type surfers from melbourne. They will NOT watch a surf contest. They will however, watch surf and snowboard videos. My GF asks things like "is that wiggling what hes supposed to do?" To a non surfer, top turns look awkward, cut backs look simple, airs are tiny and unimpressive if you have seen skating or snowboarding, which brings me to my next point.

Why does the WSL think they can make surfing work for new viewers when snowboarding, skating, wakeboarding etc have already tried and failed? Snowboarding at a high level is on a totally different scale in terms of speed, size of jumps, danger and tricks. X games park runs are 50+kmh onto rails etc, 70-90kmh on the run in to jumps that you have to clear 60-100 feet just to land safely, not to mention spinning and flipping 3-4 times over it. How can surfers doing an air 3 feet above a 3 foot wave compete? I am an every day surfer and cannot see it working. After the weekends event i dont think i would sit through another pool event for a few weeks. Although, if the Fiji event was starting today i'd be watching...

nogo's picture
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nogo Tuesday, 8 May 2018 at 1:55pm

Tears of clowns............

Personally I thought it was excellent :)

truebluebasher's picture
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truebluebasher Tuesday, 8 May 2018 at 1:58pm

Got it! We draw a line in the sand then fight them on the beaches.
Launch Apollo 11 or UFO...Alley Oop Kelly's Super Soaker cannons to Free Comrade Stu!

arch_dog's picture
arch_dog's picture
arch_dog Tuesday, 8 May 2018 at 2:52pm

I'm super curious of the wave pool - as much for its engineering than its entertainment value.

But the three things Stu identifies: "ocean knowledge, fitness, and chance" are all pillars of good surfing for me. And none off them are in the pool.

Spuddups's picture
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Spuddups Tuesday, 8 May 2018 at 4:26pm

There are only three Pro comps I'm interested in watching: Pipe, Teahupoo and J-Bay. Cloudbreak was good as well. The wave pool thing was of interest for the first half an hour or so, but then the contrived predictability of it left me cold.

Just my opinion mind you. I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who love that sort of thing. I wish them every success.

.cylinders's picture
.cylinders's picture
.cylinders Tuesday, 8 May 2018 at 6:20pm

Everyone has already said it so eloquently and made very good points so I'm just going to say, fuck the wave pool and fuck this "dream" tour.

evosurfer's picture
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evosurfer Tuesday, 8 May 2018 at 7:35pm

That contest or whatever it was just dose not cut it. So so BORING.
I want 30 minutes of my life back.

tubeshooter's picture
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tubeshooter Tuesday, 8 May 2018 at 8:03pm

Stu.. "the slow poolside walks" , haha classic. fucken classic ..
It's a wonder Pam and the Hoff weren't invited.

michaelwest's picture
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michaelwest Tuesday, 8 May 2018 at 8:20pm

Ripper!

udo's picture
udo's picture
udo Tuesday, 8 May 2018 at 8:27pm

MR has a gd vid up on his insta sharing a left with the Bald one

barley's picture
barley's picture
barley Tuesday, 8 May 2018 at 8:44pm

I just watched the pappas bros. Movie. In it they talk about how tony hawke took skateblarding from underground to sell out mainstream.
The similarites around the wavepool and kelly are quite interesting.
Just watching seth moniz flip i can see the future are not with the traditional aspects of surfing but with more the air contests crossing over inyo skate/snow flips.
You dial these waves into two big airs and a rodeo or kick flip and live tv xgames olympics there is your money..tony hawke went from earning pittances to 10's of millions kelly probably already has that but still

velocityjohnno's picture
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velocityjohnno Tuesday, 8 May 2018 at 9:25pm

barley you have come closest to how it will evolve. A bigger wave will produce the ability to launch more air, expect design to change radically as this form of the sport heads in the direction of half pipe snowboarding and skate contests.

Gary G's picture
Gary G's picture
Gary G Tuesday, 8 May 2018 at 8:46pm

Gary has been lurking and watching this debate and feels the time is right for him to weigh in to this rather arousing discourse.

For all those saying ‘this isn’t surfing, it’s boring to watch’, perhaps you should take a step back and reflect that the WSL cares not for your thoughts as you are not the target market. Not even close. The WSL wants your opinion on the Founders Cup as much as the world table tennis league wants your opinion on Table Tennis rules.

Why? The answer lies in other comments on this thread along the lines of ‘I’ll Only tune into Cloudbreak, Pipe, J Bay etc’: Your limited and fickle patronage is not enough to keep the WSL afloat and hence their decision to turn their back on the recreational surfer is totally rational. The tour is no longer just a marketing expense that the big 3 can write off; the WSL lives and dies by whether it can sell its content, and the market of surfers is neither big nor loyal enough to keep it afloat.

Now, reflecting on the ‘rationality’ of the decision to alienate the recreational surfer: Gary can’t think of any professional sports that doesn’t support grass roots and recreational participants in order to maintain public interest and grow the next generation of ‘Elite Athletes’ (if you will). If the WSL are turning their back on ‘recreational ocean surfers’, perhaps they’re betting that wave pools will become so ubiquitous and popular as to generate a steady stream of viewers and talent that will sustain the ‘sport’?

This is where Gary sees the huge risk: is there any other sport that has shunned its grass roots in the hope of growing new roots...?

Can one operate a profitable, global, professional sport without supporting recreational/grass roots development?

Anyway, back to the tanning salon for Gary; all this typing is damaging his beautiful hand skin and jeopardising his scores in the upcoming ‘Big Wave’ contest.

Lanky Dean's picture
Lanky Dean's picture
Lanky Dean Wednesday, 9 May 2018 at 2:30pm

I have a feeling your real name is actually Ritchie Porter.

velocityjohnno's picture
velocityjohnno's picture
velocityjohnno Tuesday, 8 May 2018 at 9:34pm

Stu, wonderful writing, particularly the use of 'nocean'. Being knee deep in shit, well, Robert Bly would say there is nourishment in ashes... It made for a great article.

adam12's picture
adam12's picture
adam12 Tuesday, 8 May 2018 at 9:42pm

My two bobs.
Firstly, Gary G.,I'm a big fan of your work but that last comment didn't have enough of your usual porn. Bring back dirty Gary.
On wavepools, my brain is fizzing from watching so many perfect mechanical barrels recently, and then today they drop another one, bowly with ramps. It's all too much!
Yes it's selling the sport out, yes it's boring to watch after a while, blah,blah, Kelly the showpony. All your comments are correct. But fuck I want to ride one, I'm so jealous of those fuckers. If there was a pool like that near me I'd be on it all the time. So while I agree with most of the commentators, most of my negativity stems from the fact that I'm watching someone else ride the thing.

Coaster's picture
Coaster's picture
Coaster Tuesday, 8 May 2018 at 9:59pm

An excellent article and enjoyable read, thanks.

truebluebasher's picture
truebluebasher's picture
truebluebasher Tuesday, 8 May 2018 at 11:10pm

ron I reckon you're on the right track... I posted similar back in March.

Toy boy Surfing is entering the big boys arena.
WSL Pro glances over Mega half Pipe ledge.(Don't think so!)
Skeleton @ 140 km/hr (Nope!)
Whitewater rapids run wild @ 50 kms/hr. (Too hectic!)

All Olympic Sports are headed into extreme outdoors such as raging waterfall cliff dives.
Gymnastic floor routines now hardcore Rooftop Parkhour.
Tarzan Bodybashers are finger licking Nazare.

WSL Athletes in a wading pool with Floaties/Frogsuits/Toddler Straps/Jetski chaperones.
Aussie Norm...even fancies a crack at OZ team.

OZ Skegz be crowned deadset legends should they wriggle out of WSL bath time...
The future of surfing is more likely a mouldy coin toss Wishing Wave in the run down Mall.

sicknuts's picture
sicknuts's picture
sicknuts Wednesday, 9 May 2018 at 12:36am

The irony is just delicious. Its blindingly obvious that the business model for wave pools isn't in comps (we were bored watching the first one!), but when everyone gets to fork out to have a go -which everyone is hanging for. The comps are just marketing for the pools for when they start opening their doors. But the irony is that Kelly's pool doesn't have a commercially viable pool for the masses - so the WSL is in effect "pushing the limits" of progression by selflessly funding a flawed business model, but through their failure they are paving the way for someone else to perfect it. We shouldn't belittle Kelly's contribution to the sport - in the 90's it was airs, then helping us all get board volume right, but a parting gift to make the rarified experience of a 10 second barrel accessible to Joe-public - fuck me, what a gift - enormous. Surfers don't really give a shit about buying the latest $60 t-shirt but wouldn't think twice about burning that in fuel every weekend to find waves slightly bigger or less crowded. The money in surfing isn't in spectating or brand association, it's in the experience. No coincidence the surf industry is broke as the ocean is free. But once the pools are here and its pay-on-demand for barrels and mixed up sections - we will pay - and we will love it. And as you say, Stu, once we've had our fill and understand the wave ourselves, then maybe just maybe we'll be keen to watch the pros again for inspiration

ron's picture
ron's picture
ron Wednesday, 9 May 2018 at 9:40am

If not tv money, could they really be banking on getting people into pools all over the world?
I could see 90% of non surfers visiting a pool, finding it too hard and not going back. Learning in the ocean is different as people go there for free, hang out, get slowly introduced to it and go from there. Surfing is hard! so far none of these pools are good for learning including the mushy malaysian wave etc.

Is there something we dont know? Are they registering interest all over the world? Are they getting 1000s of calls and emails a day with people wanting to go? Personally, i would try one if i was in the area but if i had to make it part of a trip ill choose indo or japan snowboarding every time. My mates who surf occasionally arent interested. Non surfing friends could not care less. Seems to me that wakeboard cable parks are cheaper to build, more accessable to learners yet still dont get much traction. They could be all over the place by now but arent. Why? I spent a month at CWC in the Phillipines once, it was fun, there were a few people there from various parts of the world. Was it making money? No.

I can see a wave pool bubble bursting in the future. Anyone on here snowboard in Japan? Their 80s ski bubble is still being recovered from.

chef6969's picture
chef6969's picture
chef6969 Wednesday, 9 May 2018 at 10:04am

first, great read & true to point, we surf because of the way it makes us feel, bottom line
we would all line up once to try the pool thing, but would realize pretty quick it will never top the real thing , so end of story

CryptoKnight's picture
CryptoKnight's picture
CryptoKnight Wednesday, 9 May 2018 at 10:05am

The foundation. What else was slattso gonna do anyway? Blinder's had a few desperate pleas. The 'culture' of surfing. The foundation. Its just more of phil and liz's antics. That's all. The wild west!!!

Poor phil. Always having to protect the fucking corgis!!!

'Sure, go out and 'mix' with 'em, but keep their funking mangy mongrels away from the corgis!!! Protect the fuckin' pedigree!!!'

At least ando is one of us! And megsy is the princess we've always wanted!

Slattso is just doing the right thing... that's all. The foundation, surf 'culture'... on sale now!!! Who'da thunk it!! Organic 'huasca... get in quick!!! Stocks are low!! God for sale... who'da thunk it!!! Its all on sale...always!!! Get in quick... stock's are low!!!

Homeless, abused kids, we luv yas... grannies freezin' ta death, we luv yas too!!! Hang in there... we're comin!!! We just gotta find a way to... ya gotta learn ta market yourselves!!! The kids are a done deal, but there's even a market out there for you aye granny!!! Even you must have something to sell!!! We just gotta... hang in there... cause we luv ya!!! Hang on just a minute... slattso's doing another run!!!

We luv yas grannies, hang in there kids, we just gotta find a way, we just got find them right words, put it the right way, word it proper, package it proper like!!! Know ya audience, tease 'em!! Maybe a movie... a fuckin' box office smash hit, that'll leave em breathless!!! Just hang on... just a bit... hang on slattso's got a fuckin' sale on!!!

We luv yas, abused, homeless kids, we love ya frozen grannie... we just gotta find the right way to say, 'WHO GIVES A FUCK!' Slattsey's makin' another run!!!

Wait a minute... did you say grannie owns that block... faaaaarrrkkk what's the address!!!???

truebluebasher's picture
truebluebasher's picture
truebluebasher Wednesday, 9 May 2018 at 11:10am

90% of Wavepark waves are geared to non surfers
90% of Kooks get in for free.(True...Check promos)
90% of Waves a set to stun only.(Riverdance mode)
90% of Pro Shop Products are bought by this demographic.

90% of Movie trailer waves only come out to play at stroke of midnight.
90% of Surfers can't sustain a midnite to six season pass
90% of Surfers will pay premium one off entries.Now @($100/hr) or 10 % off matesrates
90% of Surfers will bypass the pro shop.

Wave pool is a [L] pro shop & surfers are not welcome...Fork out for Pro Disco or .... off.
OZ version is [CLOSED FOR REPAIRS] over the holidays.(Closed for cleaning) on weekends.

CryptoKnight's picture
CryptoKnight's picture
CryptoKnight Wednesday, 9 May 2018 at 2:32pm

'90% of Waves a set to stun only.(Riverdance mode)'

I like it!

Also, don't forget, floor space, shop front rents will be cheaper outside the pool. Storms in a teacup... so to speak!!!

Throw em over the fence, to ya maaaytes hidin' up the back. Or slip pool security (maybe pottso, or rabs) a fiver to sneak em in the back. Just adjust the dimmies to suit!!!

'Newsflash'

'Hundreds killed as multiple, gargantuan, massive storms slam into pond!!!'

'It seemed like the storms were everywhere... they hit us like a tunna bricks... on the bricks!!!'

matt59's picture
matt59's picture
matt59 Wednesday, 9 May 2018 at 5:49pm

Think your being a bit tough on Kelly.
Firstly, KS and team created a wave in a pool that looks pretty awesome and far better than what their competitors have achieved.

It is only natural to try and make money out of something like that, you have to or you go broke!...and who wouldn't?.......but agree the recent 'world cup' event was a little underwhelming. Replicating a standard ocean competition in a pool doesn't fully seem to cut it.

Think the answer will end up being a competition points structure for pool competitions only.....and maybe also different objectives, not just move after move.

Mort's picture
Mort's picture
Mort Thursday, 10 May 2018 at 12:08am

Here's a poem

A deficit of animals and worldly worries
A perfect place for a human to be?

Sickaz's picture
Sickaz's picture
Sickaz Friday, 11 May 2018 at 5:45pm

Great poem who wrote that?

Mort's picture
Mort's picture
Mort Friday, 11 May 2018 at 9:45pm

Thank you for the complement, I actually wrote it.

It is speed drunk poem writing, thus the ironic disclaimer at the beginning.

It is not a poem, it is just a reaction

I am not to sure if this has been done before.

JM's picture
JM's picture
JM Thursday, 10 May 2018 at 8:55am

Surfing in the ocean = Making love.
Surf comps = Going to a brothel.
Wave pools = Using a blow up doll.

Mort's picture
Mort's picture
Mort Friday, 11 May 2018 at 9:50pm

What about if you have the camera set up on your heater and a watching at the same time, ok, sorry.

radiationrules's picture
radiationrules's picture
radiationrules Thursday, 10 May 2018 at 10:18am

"nocean" - is so good, I've registered the domain and business name, sorry Stu.

freeride76's picture
freeride76's picture
freeride76 Thursday, 10 May 2018 at 10:30am

Just a word of caution for the "wait until it's 8feet and barrelling" crew.

The physics of wave generation are brutal as far as energy goes.

Most relationships are logarithmic not linear.

IE to make a wave twice the size takes 4 times as much energy etc etc.

It's not as simple as just turning the dial up to make a 6 foot wave.

stunet's picture
stunet's picture
stunet Thursday, 10 May 2018 at 10:42am

...and the increased energy takes longer to calm the pond so reduces wave rate.

velocityjohnno's picture
velocityjohnno's picture
velocityjohnno Friday, 11 May 2018 at 4:31pm

Mine goes up to 11.

mk1's picture
mk1's picture
mk1 Thursday, 10 May 2018 at 1:37pm

Am I the only one who just cruises heats on demand for 20 minutes to watch the half dozen really high scoring waves, about a week after the contest? That feature has saved me so much wasted time with shitty go nowhere heats.

truebluebasher's picture
truebluebasher's picture
truebluebasher Thursday, 10 May 2018 at 7:02pm

freeride76 ...check out the "Flow Barrel 10 Double". (Surfer's ultimate twin suite Spa)
This low tech clumbsy bath toy progressed to hungry sea-monster mode in no time.
Simply plug it in ...turn on the hose then stand back. (Rip your arms off & Smash yer skull in)
They laugh that safety was traded for lure of compact explosive thrill ride. Lovin' it to death!

udo's picture
udo's picture
udo Friday, 11 May 2018 at 11:23am

Is there footage anywhere of Daniel Thompson surfing in this Pool ?

Time traveller's picture
Time traveller's picture
Time traveller Friday, 11 May 2018 at 11:28am

Surf God no longer Huey but Thomas the Tank Engine!

Craig's picture
Craig's picture
Craig Friday, 11 May 2018 at 3:18pm

Haha.

 

A post shared by @worldsurfboardingleague on

Sickaz's picture
Sickaz's picture
Sickaz Friday, 11 May 2018 at 5:50pm

Whoever created this is a legend

truebluebasher's picture
truebluebasher's picture
truebluebasher Saturday, 12 May 2018 at 9:54am

Not my Huey!

mugofsunshine's picture
mugofsunshine's picture
mugofsunshine Sunday, 13 May 2018 at 10:40am

I don't know if this has been asked and answered elsewhere but I can't find it...

Why do they wear leg ropes in the pool?