Submitted by rasda on Tue, 03/01/2011 - 01:18
johnnie walker double black for my double birthday yesterday
anyone tried ginger tequila cocktail
Emu export all the way, best camping beer around. Can't beat the days of getting a block for $27.
Santiago de Cuba. Best rum for under $40. Made by theCuban Rum Corporation. Not aword of English on the bottle. From Dan Murphy's only. Enjoy with soda and a dash of Bickford's lime cordial. Aaaaargh
A couple of 'cheap beer in the NW' stories.
First time up there doing it all on the cheap for an extended period. On the town mission always with an eye out for a bottlo bargain. Being parochial and the Emu range wearing thin fast, imagine how stoked we were when we found a home-town drop (well, it was made in our home-state on closer inspection) on a pallet, going for $15 a carton or thereabouts. Me and a mate thought we were killing it when we bought a coupla slabs each. First slab didn't make it back on the drive. Tasted like shite too. Next weekly trip into town it was all gone.
It was this stuff.
We still talk about what could've been if we just bought and stored the whole pallet! Or a slab. Even a friggin' six-pack!
Another time further up the coast. We'd been camping in the sticks near the outer reef waves and going into town when need be (best fishing ever, by the way). Nearing the end of our stint, we ventured in on a supply mission and hit the pub as you do. Lo and behold, I won the pub raffle. 'Mug of the week'. Free piss of your nominated choice for a full week. The choice was extremely limited. I hate VB. Crown was off limits. And that left the local drops. Emu. Bitter and Export. And Swan Draught. (Ironic) Yew!
But wait! There lurking down the bar was Swan Stout! I'm a fan of stout so there it was. A big weekend ensued. Then we left. Then we stopped at the Bombie just outta town. Cranking. Went out and proceeded to fuck my ankle. Hospital visit luckily showed I hadn't broken it, so it was back to the pub! As you do! For the whole week! Opening to closing.
They were glad to see the back of me.
Didn't even put me off Swan Stout. Too bad they discontinued it. Best mainstream WA beer for mine.
When was this , Turkey ?
Mid 90s onwards.
Thinking of that hospital, it had a 'gold phone'. It had THE 'gold phone'. So did the pub on the river at the other town in the first story. So did the pub down the road back in my home-town. It had a 'gold phone' for years! Only got rid of it this decade.
Everyone knows the legend of the 'gold phone', yeah?
One day myself and a couple of mates decided to hit an offshore reef in the arvo after the offshore had died down to a manageable speed. We'd experienced a shitload of rain in the past fortnight and the dirt road to the beach we launched our boat from had allegedly been rendered impassable but we thought we'd give it a shot anyway.
So about 2 o'clock on a winters afternoon we set off down the 40 kms of pot holed , rutted crap to reach the spot that we'd push the boat out from the beach and journey the couple of kms out to the break .
About 20 kms - and a few mobile bongs - into the drive and my hilux lost steering and veered into the scrub off the shoulder of the road. The steering ball had broken and with the wind dropping nicely we were devastated that we'd miss the session , so we grabbed the anchor chain off my tinny - the same chain that held the boat to the trailer - and Gerry rigged the steering ball back together .
And we were on our way .
Few minutes later and of course the strap that was the only thing holding the boat to the trailer snaps and my tinny flys into the scrub also.
We get out and lift the tinny - which miraculously survived - back onto the trailer and tie it to down with legropes.
Back on the road , slowly , slowly .
We finally reach the launch site and the wind has dropped to dead glass. Surf must be pumping. As we're getting ready to launch a couple of girls come strolling over. Turns out they're camping on the beach . No one else here and they're bored . I couldn't give a fuck about them and just want to get to the reef and get in the water as daylight is limited.
One of the guys with me is just visiting after holidaying in Europe for a few months and he's straight onto these chicks , tuning as best he can. Telling them about the mad waves on the beautiful reef were going out to surf ....even though he's never even been there before.
He gets the girls all excited to see the reef but it's a small tinny with no spare room so it's not happening . With protests , my mate drags himself away from the chicks and gets in the boat and we're out there.
Arriving to find pumping waves with not a soul in sight . I'm straight over the side with my mate that is also just keen to surf. But the other bloke is saying he's going back to get the girls . I can't believe it , but he won't stop whining so I show him how to start the engine and he's gone.
Leaving myself and my mate to surf perfect waves to ourselves.
After half an hour when old mate hasn't returned I was getting pissed off , but the waves were so good I just kept surfing.
An hour later I was getting concerned. If we started paddling now we'd be paddling in the dark by the time we got to shore and the surf was still pumping. I was very much not into the idea of the night paddle . This was the same break that myself and a mate had watched a tiger shark aggressively mouthing the propeller on his tinny anchored in the channel whilst we were surfing. We'd lost many fish to sharks whilst trolling the ledge off the reef and through the reef pass.
Just as we resigned ourselves to the long , dark haul back to the beach we caught sight of a boat making its way out towards us. About fucking time.
Only it was a lone fisherman that was camped a few kms down the coast , going for a troll along the reef at dusk. He was as surprised to see us as we were to see him . Fella offered us a lift to shore after he'd done a lap of the ledge.
Half an hour later. Pitch black and with a huge Spaniard across the bottom of his tinny and we pull up at the beach we'd launched from to find my boat rolling around in the gentle Shorey. My mate no where to be seen.
Unbeknownst to us at the time , but he was currently in the chick's tent plowing the both of them .
We farewelled our fisho mate and dragged the boat onto the trailer and sort our shit out wondering where the fuck our other mate was.
Then down he strolls with the two girls , a shit eating grin and a warm Emu Export for each of us.
Turns out he couldn't restart the engine and just figured we'd be ok a couple of kilometres out to sea surfing over live coral and just gotten on with things.
It was hard to stay mad at the bastard . Especially when the girls kept the exports flowing. A couple of hours later and we up stumps and head for town at a snails pace with the two chicks and our lecherous mate following in their shitty Corolla.
Half way to town and we run into the rescue party sent by my missus to scour the lagoon in the dark in search of our missing and presumed imperilled selves.
Bush Chooks all round.
Gold phone ?
Free call taxi for indigenous ?
Hah! The ol' goldie! Classic. If you didn't know, well, you didn't know. I found a 'live' one in the middle of Melbourne once!
Free phone calls world-wide if you found a good 'un and knew what you were doing. A definite skill.
As for you Blowie. I dunno. Is this comment for real? Are you for real?
"Free call taxi for indigenous"
First thing that popped into your funny magical bald/blonde head?
You've never seen the community bus getting around I take it ?
The old ' Bassoon unsubstantiated shit sling and run routine .
Its turning into your signature move.
Blowin; not sure if i want to hear your explanation for that one either.
Shat; believe you might also have enjoyed the 'Free' home delivery services provided by Australia Post on at least one occasion after a night on the tiles?
No doubt after a 'Sparkling Ale' or two!
Watch out KK, you'll freak Blowie out. No doubt he'll think you are me. Or Herc. Or Snuffy. Or Turkey. Or Purps etc etc
I think the concept of mates is a foreign one for him...or something. Here, there, in the outside world, wherever. But who gives a shit? Am I right?
'Borrowing' government vehicles, let alone 'hitching a ride', is not really on, kids. Funny, but. Kinda.
You a fellow traveller in the gold phone stakes, KK? An aficionado?
Getting back to shit beer, I nominate Bintang. Hard to avoid I know, especially in the jungle after the duty-free runs out. But it's shit. Really.
Then again, you could always not drink post-surf, I s'pose. Yeah, nah.
Yeh the Bintang goes warm pretty quick,sometimes starts that way as well,but it's all I've got.I've tasted worse,hello Emu export.The palm wine gets a run though,hammered for $3 while listening to dangdut.Heaven.Lissoi
Then you could steal the postie van !
On the Tangs already, Blowie? Or the Bu(ll)sh(it) Chooks?
Off the piss for a while.
Otherwise it'd be VB o'clock.
VB = Virtual Bullshit?
Says the man that would have us believe he actually found a gold phone !
Surely that's bullshit . Such a radical story.
" When you and your friend , you made it with the cow - I wanna party with you !"
Lee Harvey Bassoon.
You sure you're off the piss, Francis Soyer, sorry I mean Psycho, no, I mean Blowie?
(Am I on your list?)
You're on my list of people that are obvious LIDD* sufferers and as a consequence I indulge you out of sympathy.
*LIDD - Lifestyle interest deficit syndrome. An affliction that leads its sufferers to reject the possibility that anyone else's life might not be as Beige as their own. Rather than accept blame that they themselves might be responsible for their unsatisfying existence they will deny the actions of others as a matter of course.
And you've always been #1 on the 'psychological projection' (s)hit-parade, Blowie.
With a bullet/bull's shit.
& that's a fact, Jack.
You realise that the " Psychological projection " call that you ( Shatner / Turkey ) keep laying down is nothing but a reimagining of " I know you are but what am I ? " don't you ?
Maybe put up another David Lynch quote in an attempt to draw a tenuous parallel between yourself and an original thinker . Or cry yourself to sleep pondering another week of work at the Rockingham bottlo drive through.
Whatever galvanises you against the harsh realities of your Beige / Bone / Off White existence.
You know the drill.
PP, Blowie, PP.
Ready for another big week , Shatner ?
Only 36 hours to go !
Stacked in your fridge next to the EB and EE, of course.
For when the boys in the S.A.S.S* drop by for an impromptu de-brief.
I've never drank an Emu Bitter or an Export that was kept in a fridge . Or out of a tap.
I've woken up in the long grass though.
You on the piss tonight you reckless drunk ?
Getting a few under the belt prior to trolling the parking lot for tottering skanks as they emerge from the Australian Manpower Tribute show at the Rockingham tavern are ya ?
i'm currently have an icy cold carlon dry... half sucked, watching Westcoast smash Carlton... jeez it tastes good, like angels pissing on my tounge.
Is that like a lounge that resembles a tounge?
Hahn Super Dry 3.5.....through the week anyway......
But come Friday , I'm unleashing on the full strength 4.6% gear !
85 Grange (one glass but who looks a gift horse u know the drill eh) and Soporo on special this week...Ha!
Speaking of Soporo do you guys get those ads in bus shelters that are just one big glass of picture perfect beer?
But I like the sound of them.
Currently drinking water like it's going out of fashion.